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Troll Jim Smith, that gay lad, is so plucky, For experience better than fine, Jim Smith seeks a soul-mate divine; There was a young man from Muskegan, Little Willie, while porking a pig, There was a young man of Newminster Court (Published in 1897)
A strange case has unfolded near Worcester A hog rancher just east of Macon Young Gary plays mighty fine gigs, I'm sick of the shagging of ewes, I must say I've never had cow There's many a girl would adore Never again shall I hunt There's a question designed to perplex, Now Jim Smith had a pig for a mother, I wrote of the shagging of sheep, I find quite malicious this dig A lady from Palma, Majorca, There once was a fag from Des Moines Now girl, what's the matter with you? A farmer from Northern N.Y. A boar has a corkscrew, so now Said a farm boy, suppressing a giggle, While forming my coming year's vows, There was an old person of Sark, (* - Famous homosexual trial of 1870)
There was an old fellow named Pine Farmer John put his pig out to stud; I'm learnin' from daddy the boar An obnoxious old prick from Prague, There was a young man named St. Clair, There was a young girl named Miss Randall, An Afghan who strayed by its lair, A zoo friend and I were desirous There was a young lady of Claire, Don't ever try screwin' a bruin, Said a bear to a boy at the zoo, There was a young girl of Eau Claire, A hot grizzly sow found a hunter, There was a young fellow named Sayers A messy old maid named Miranda There once was a zoo fan, an editor, A polar bear lay on his back, An old sodomite hunter named Baer I'm often quite horny and drunk, There was an old person of Ware, There was a young fellow from Tajik, I mated a girl with a bear, I once wandered into the trees But bears are impractical lovers! There once was a man from Bel Air, Miss Haverford on her veranda, How many times must I tell you? As the snow falls softly on down, There once was a man who would fuck In this, there's a lesson to learn A maiden, so slender and fair, A man met a cute female bruin; I wonder if any out there Making love to a Bruin I once got it on with a griz; One night a girl had an affair A girl camper once had an affair There once was a hairy old grizzly There once was a large grizzly bear There was an old man in a hat Bat sex is often high-strung;
He proclaims that he feels very lucky:
"I'm a Whore for a Boar,
Though he leaves my ass sore,
And I'm not the Fucker, but the Fuckee!"
--- Anon
Jim will always prefer hot male swine:
"An old Boar's corkscrew cock
Is the key to my lock!
Bristley kisses are sweeter than wine."
--- Anon
He cannot afford a bovine.
He can not date a girl;
When they see him, they hurl.
This explains his great interest in swine.
--- Ward Hardman
Who got an erection -- a big 'un!
It would not deflate
And he was irate;
The only slit 'round was a pig one!
--- Marlene
Found his weenie a little too big.
It developed a list,
A lopsided twist,
Which it bears to this day as his sig.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Buggered a pig, but his prick was too short.
Said the hog, "It's not nice,
But pray take my advice,
Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."
--- L0626
Involving a sow and a rooster.
This spring they have mated,
And the farmer has stated
"This is something I'll never get used to."
--- W W Lotz
With a particular sow was quite taken.
He spared her from dinner
And put his meat in her
And that cute little pig cooked his bacon.
--- Actaeon
And whops out some foot-stomping jigs.
He'd be sharper than cactus
If only he'd practice,
But he spends too much time fucking pigs.
--- Cyber Celt T9710
A subject that gives me the blues.
All that wool 'round the twat,
I don't find it too hot.
I'd rather a pig on my cooze.
--- Cyberhog T9711
But drunk once, I did enjoy sow.
That squealing and gripping
Of pig pussy dripping...
The tightest I've found up till now!
--- Tutta Gioia
The corkscrewing cock of the boar,
Which he twirls half an hour
Bestowing a shower
Of half of a liter or more.
--- John Miller
For pussy or nookie or cunt.
I don't need no cat,
'Cause better than that
Is the pig I bought as a runt.
--- Anon
About what to use for your sex.
I don't want a sheep,
For they're ugly and cheap;
In a pig, my dick I'd rather flex!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And he never has known any other.
Though he came from her cunt,
He'd cry out when she'd grunt,
"If she ever rolls over, I'll smother!"
--- Anon
And said it was all yours to keep,
For I'd rather have pork
At the end of my dork,
Each night before I go to sleep.
--- Cyberhog T9711
You've made of my grand, manly rig,
The which I keep clean
By porking the lean,
Pure puss of my prize-winning pig.
--- Anon
Each day took a pig for a walk. A
Few minutes would pass
Then she'd lay on the grass,
And encourage the porker to pork 'er.
--- Anon
Whose nephews would finger his groin.
He said to his sis,
"There ain't nothing amiss.
Not like Dad in the barn, porkin' loin!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Turn down mutton and last week a gnu.
You'd prefer a man
To a razorback ham,
With a prick that is truly corkscrew?
--- John Miller
Decided he'd like to scr. p.
So he picked out a sow
Who got pregnant somehow.
I hear they soon will v. the st...
--- Hugh Clary
If you use your straight tool on a sow,
The pig will be pissed
By your lack of a twist --
Better resurrect Bessie the cow.
--- John Miller
"I shore like the way them sheep wiggle.
And when there's no ewe
Who'll give me a screw,
I figger, that somewhere a pig'll."
--- Norm Storer
I decided to stop fucking cows.
To stand on a stool
Is playing the fool
And it's easier buggering sows.
--- G1342
Who buggered a pig in the dark.
The swine, in surprise,
Murmured, "God blast you eyes,
Do you take me for Boulton* or Park*?"
--- L0642
Who traded his wife for a swine.
He remarked with a giggle
That he got far more wriggle,
And even the dead ones were fine.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1171
N. B.: in that old porker's blood
There just was no fire,
No porcine desire.
It dragged its limp stick in the mud.
--- Armand Singer
'Bout leavin' the sweetest sows sore.
This makin' of bacon
Involves lotsa shakin' --
And then you just walk out the door.
--- Anon
Had a wife who resembled a hog.
He exploited her grunting
By taking her hunting
For truffles she found in the fog!
--- F D Zone
Who tried to make love to a bear.
But the nasty old brute,
Took a swipe at his root,
Leaving nothing but testes and hair.
--- L0599
Who kept a young bear cub to dandle.
She said, "In a pinch
This bear cub's six inch
Is almost as good as a candle."
--- L0634
Got screwed in the ass by a bear.
But up by the Khyber,
They're men of such fiber,
That the bear was far worse for the wear!
--- Vassar W Smith P9307
Of a tame circus bear named Osiris.
We snuck in at leisure
And gave her such pleasure,
She begged for her owners to hire us.
--- Actaeon
This is file oek
Who was madly pursued by a bear;
When she found she was tired,
She abruptly expired.
But that horny old bear didn't care.
--- Edwardian Leer 008 P9306
For while it may love what it's doin',
It shoves with such force,
Just like a stud horse,
You're left with your cleft in a ruin!
--- G1183
"My dinner is long overdue.
If the keepers don't hurry,
My lad, that's your worry;
I might make a dinner of you.
--- Joseph S Newman
Who once was attacked by a bear.
While chased in a field,
She tripped and revealed
Some meat to the bear that was rare.
--- L0598
And asked him to eat out her cunter.
Surprised, he refused
And so was abused.
His features are now somewhat blunter.
--- Actaeon
Who only made love to the bears.
He put in his time waiting
Till they were hibernating,
And he'd get them asleep in their lairs.
--- Albin Chaplin
Corrupted a meek giant panda,
Who rogered her bum
Till it toppled off numb,
Every evening upon her veranda.
--- G1284
Who essayed to make love to a predator.
She lay on a chair
And was laid by a bear.
She had style, for that I will credit her.
--- Actaeon
And was giving himself quite a whack.
This drew a large crowd,
And a fan said aloud,
"I bet he'd be good in the sack!"
--- Actaeon
Tracked a very large beast to its lair,
And proceded to do it
(Yes of course, I mean screw it):
Now he looks like a slice of Gruyere.
--- Armand E Singer 923
And that beast, he sure was a hunk.
Horny in the woods,
He gave me the goods,
That bear boffed me right in my trunk!
--- Fizzia
Who had an affair with bear.
He explained, "I don't mind,
For it's gentle and kind,
But I wish it had slightly less hair."
--- Anon
Whose love life was terribly tragic,
'Til he met a she-bear,
Who at him did tear,
And his dick just unfolded like magic.
--- Anon
'Cause I wanted to know if she'd dare.
She said it was nice,
But she'd not do it twice.
I just hope the bear doesn't care.
--- AA
In search of a girl who would please,
But the best I could do
Was a bear with the flu;
Well, at least I avoided disease.
--- Norm Storer P0011
You can't get them under the covers.
And I've not the length,
Endurance, or strength
To satisfy one of the buggers.
--- Anon
Who wanted to romance a bear.
He pulled down his pants
To begin the romance.
He now has one ball and some hair.
--- Marc Monroe
Often stood with the utmost candor
There many an hour.
When things went sour,
She'd quietly do it with her panda.
--- The Ghost Who Writes
Get your sorry ass out of my igloo!
Your bestial way
With a polar bear stray
Is more than I'll ever get into.
--- Raceway
It's so still that you can't hear a sound,
Except for the thumping
Of Pooh Bears humping,
Deep in their dens underground.
--- MrMalo
Any thing from a sheep to a duck.
And without a care,
He jumped on a bear!
Talk about pressing your luck!
--- Archie
'Bout controlling the passions that burn.
The bear turned around,
Threw his ass to the ground,
And said, "Buddy, now it's my turn!"
--- Archie
Was attacked by a big grizzly bear.
And then dragged to his den
And assaulted again --
Which gave the poor girl quite a scare.
--- Anon
In minutes, the two began wooin'.
In the dark, the male bear
Failed to notice him there,
And soon the man's loins lay in ruin.
--- Actaeon
Ever tried to make love with a bear.
Big, hairy, and vicious,
But most say delicious,
For you see, they don't really care.
--- Archie
Turned out to be my ruin.
While I was fucking,
The bear wasn't sucking,
Instead on my head he was chewin'.
--- Puff Adder
I tell you it's none of your biz.
But one word to heed:
To them you're just feed.
They'll want more than a teaspoon of jizz.
--- H Welchel
With a fellow all covered with hair.
His enormous red whang
Gave her a wonderful bang--
She'd been diddled by Smokey the Bear.
--- G1179
With a fellow all covered with hair.
When she gave him his hat,
She realized that
She'd been had by Smokey the Bear.
--- Donald Dimock
Who harried the she-bears quite busily.
He spent hours each day
Hunting lay after lay--
And afterward, staggered home dizzily.
--- Norm Storer
Who fell in love with a mare.
She kicked up her heels,
While he did cartwheels;
They were an unusual pair.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Who was asked if he'd marry a bat.
"An unusual idea,"
He remarked, "but I fear
I shall certainly never do that."
--- Anon
He first eats her out with his tongue.
While they cling to a shelf,
His rod thrusts by itself--
A male bat is always well-hung.
--- Actaeon
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