I once heard a story like that, I wonder, did some early force A horny young butcher call Marcus Though she surely won't bless you with babies, Now bats for a change (so you say) Oh please tell me this isn't so! Listen boys, and don't forget; I wish that I were a hippo, Hedgehogs are really quite quilly; A hedgehog has pricks of its own; A small furry mole from Madras is There was a young lady, Miss Ohswill, There was a young man from Woods Hole, There was an old lecher named Sholes The tiniest animal, the shrew, A rich yuppie girl in a Beemer This dame was addicted to game, A sensitive maid from Moose Jaw There once was a gal from Montrose, Not pretty's this tale about Gosse "We refuse", said two men from Australia, A scientist paired a male bradypus Hey Lightbulb, go out on the veldt, A horny near-sighted white rhino Hermione Gingold's big brother If Belize were a statue of Venus, There once was a young man from Enis, At the zoo an old keeper named Phelps, His twin brother, a keeper named Mel There once was a man from Schenectady Erica had a big brown beaver; I wanted somthing new for my pleasure, Said the Aggie, "At school I was taught
This is file odk
A zookeeper out in Decatur, When younger, our Bess was quite nice, There's no cleaner dick, you can bet, This group is now only a sham, see; On tiring of females that cluck; The cow I'll be leaving alone; A fellow who lived in Dakar "The genus of cattle is Bovine; Confessed an old bachelor named Boggs, I am from a desert so sandy, By trimming his dick to a prick, Down here on the ranch, nothing's strange. There's a dream that I think I will share, A stalwart young fellow named Galion, We know you keep sowing wild oats, I know sex with critters is wrong, That lecherous sodomite Don There was a young girl of Milan A messy young biddy named Bessy An eminent lady named Galions A stern wrathful God spoke to Kevin, A duck I just never would rape, There was a young man with the itch, Young Reggie needs six fucks a day; There was a young man of Australia, For bestiality cat-houses shine. No gorilla would risk human spawn; Very horny was Percival Ballew, A tourist relaxing in Ghana, A boy from old Albuquerque There was a young lady of Ulva, (culver - dove, rock pigeon)
You fellows, so under-endowed, A zoo keeper known as Old Ace In the forests of wild Guatemire
A mammologist with a bat.
His loins were on fire;
He tried a vampire.
His dick is now bloodless and flat.
--- Annie Jay
Predestine my bestial course?
As a child was I found
At a merry-go-round,
Riding under the carousel horse?
--- Lassie's Lover TP9901
Was found in the freezer quite starkers,
His prick turning blue,
While attempting to screw
The rear of a freshly hung carcass.
--- Michael Horgan
A heifer can pose a few maybes.
With a flapping fruit bat,
You can avoid all of that --
What a helluva way to get rabies!
--- John Miller 0311
Are better than heifers. OK?
You give them a go,
But I think you should know,
That FRUIT bats are probably gay.
--- PeterW a
Homosexual's not my way to go.
When I screw a horse,
It's a filly of course:
Not a thing's wrong with this guy, you know!
--- John Miller
Animals are only to PET!
You feel bad, no doubt,
But I can't figure out,
Do you need a doc, or a vet?
--- Kaylin
Then I'd be cool and so drippo,
And then I could chew
Oral fat with you,
And give you a great deal of lippo.
--- Limber Limericks
If one is gay, this is not silly.
One hopes he's on top
When he's ready to pop,
Or he'll puncture the other guy's willie.
--- Anon
When mating, the male ones all groan.
Those sharp pointy bits
Makes sex just the pits,
So often they mate on the phone.
--- Archie
Quite happy in mountainous passes,
While digging around
With his nose underground
Eating treacle and fondling mole-asses.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who once sat herself down on a mole's hill.
The resident mole,
Stuck his head up her hole,
The lady's in bliss, but the mole's ill.
--- L0662
Who had an affair with a mole.
Though a bit of a nancy,
He did like to fancy
Himself in the dominant role.
--- Anon L0663
Who longed to deflower young moles.
Although he aspired,
He was always too tired,
After digging them out of their holes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is known for the three-second screw.
He'll repeat it at will,
On any mole hill,
And his head is all that turns blue.
--- G1321
Made love one fine day to a lemur.
She came to adore
His four on the floor,
And his stick shift proceeded to ream her.
--- Actaeon
And not to those pets who are tame.
So she was quite mild
Unless it was wild,
And then how she'd act, was a shame.
--- Archie
Was sleeping face-down in the raw;
Next morning, Alack!
There were prints on her back,
Presumably made by a paw.
--- Alsops Foibles
And a trip to the jungle she chose.
If asked why to go,
She answered: The rhino --
I'll sit on his long pointy nose.
--- Retze Faber
(I'll separate truth from the dross);
As not everyone knew,
He was found and the zoo,
With his dick up a rhinoceros.
--- Armand E Singer 886
"Bestiality this saturnalia,
For now, we bethink us,
The ornithorhynchus
Is our down-under type of mammalia."
--- Isaac Asimov
By mistake with a randy he-platypus.
Said the sloth, "I find siring
Is really too tiring.
I would have liked to try had he had a puss."
--- John Eggerton P0104
And emulate many a Celt.
Go find the rear end
Of a four-legged friend,
And plunge percy deep in the pelt.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Jumped a female, evidently albino.
But a hippo she was,
And she started to cuss,
Till she decided his dick was divino.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Kept a cage with a something or other.
It became rather tame
So he gave it a name
And it somehow wound up as a mother.
--- Don Moore P0112
Just waiting for someone obscenus
To polish her bust,
I'd give her a dust
And beget an ethereal genus!
--- Anon
Who was put into strife by his penis.
He pleaded in court;
The judge brought him up short;
"Right sex," said the judge, "But wrong genus!"
--- Loz
From the lioness seized her two whelps.
Then he buggered the pair
And he said, "I declare
They are good, but I can't stand the yelps."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1169
Shoved his prick in a skunk and said, "Hell,
It is better than scroon
An old yak or racoon,
But you have to get used to the smell."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1170
About whom it was said, "How the heck did he,
Fuck skunks and bullfrogs,
Bats, lizards, and dogs,
All with the same verve and alacrity?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With it she was a great achiever.
She's done snakes and dogs,
Koala bears, hogs,
And even a golden retriever.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So I bought a wee sheep for my leisure;
A donkey, a cow,
Some hens and a sow;
Then a ten-dollar whore for good measure!
--- CyberCelt T9710
That book learning would all come to naught
Unless learned by doing.
So I was pursuing
Animal Husbandry -- till I got caught.
--- Arthur Deex P9009
Was said by his wife to betray her.
While he worked he would fuck,
First a snake, then a duck,
And a deer, and a bear, and a 'gator.
--- Anon
(Though Tiddy does ewes in a trice)
These joys would make "Req"
Collapse like a wreck --
I won't even mention my mice.
--- Archie
Than mine, and I'm free from regret,
For spending my wealth
To keep up the health
Of me and my stock -- ask the vet!
--- Travis Brasell
"Election" is screamed like a banshee.
I've put up the shields;
I'm out in the fields,
Just playing with Bessie and Lambsie.
--- Archie
I've moved on to turkey and duck,
Then humped the caboose
Of a tender young goose,
While teaching a calf how to suck.
--- Anon
The bishop and sheep I'll postpone.
Though I do get a rise
If I fantasize
'Bout the holes in the dyke. (stifled groan)
--- Anon
Loved his pets, but he took it too far.
It was said, with restraint,
That his actions were quaint,
But in fact, they were truly bizarre!
--- Robert Elliot
The genus of sheep is Ovine,"
Said Professor Shay,
"But for rolls in the hay,
Get a flock or a herd -- that's devine."
--- Observer
"My heart palpitates for big dogs,
And my amorous forces
Do include docile horses,
But no way that I'd do it with hogs."
--- Armand E Singer P0305
We don't have a sheep there that's handy.
But camels and 'roos
May force us to choose
To bugger a lizard that's randy.
--- Archie
Old Nick got a prick that was slick.
His cat and canary
Said, suddenly wary,
"No way, Nick. Just stick to your chick."
--- Confused
In fact, our perversion's wide range
Covers sex with wild cats,
Buffalo, and fruit bats,
And, of course, these old dogs with the mange.
--- Anon
That involves both a cow and a bear,
Which I had in a way,
That I really can't say,
But the cow's great, the bear was just fair.
--- Bob Birch P0107
Was given the Pervert's Medallion.
For he buggered a cow
As he stood on a sow,
While he sucked off a Percheron stallion.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1242
In fields and on farms and in boats,
With ladies and cows
And occasional sows,
But now you're addicted to goats?
--- Archie
But for action I yearn and long.
So out in the fields,
Amongst tall wheat yields,
I'm desperate to service my dong.
--- Anon
Chased animals hither and yon;
He favored young dingos
But even flamingos,
If pink enough, turned the guy on.
--- Armand E Singer 758
Who never had fucked with a man.
But she fucked in a bog
With a St. Bernard dog,
A pig, and an orangutan.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1281
Said, "Sure, I'm aware that I'm messy...
When I'm through with the dogs,
I go sleep with the hogs...
Why the hell should I try to be dressy.
--- Grand Prix Lim 632
Was screwed by a bull and two stallions,
Then a St. Bernard dog
And a fine Polish hog,
And a host of assorted rapscallions.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1141
"You'll never get into my Heaven,
You've done it with shoats,
With dogs, sheep, and goats --
I've totaled some 127."
--- Armand E Singer 475
And I would never fuck an ape.
But a hampster I've done;
I must say it's fun
As long as it's wrapped in duct tape.
--- Bleek
Who, because he was not at all rich,
Had to harbor his tail
In any female,
A duck, or a sow, or a bitch.
--- L0609
Just look what he's rogered today:
Two ducks and a cow,
A sheep and a sow,
And a mare that he took in mid-neigh.
--- Archie
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
He buggered a frog,
Two mice and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.
--- L0575
There are more than just cats in their line.
A sheep or a cow
Or a loving young sow
Or with care, a nice sweet porcupine.
--- Theo Heller P9205
Tales of women and bulls make me yawn;
But some ladies of note
Have made do with a goat,
And Leda was had by a swan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He was frantic for something to screw.
Well he found him a sow,
Two goats and a cow,
And a salesman from Kalamazoo.
--- Jim Menger P9206
Spread her legs wide in a sauna.
'Twas custom, she'd learned
To be pleasured in turn
By all sorts of exotic fauna.
--- Actaeon
Had a past decidedly murky--
Allegations of rape
With a ferret, owl, and ape,
And unspeakable things with a turkey!
--- Percy Longprong
Who said, "I have granted a culver,
One fox, and a vole,
Two mice and a mole,
A refuge from Man in my vulva.
--- T Griffiths
Can stick your wee pricks in a crowd
Of small furry creatures,
But I follow Nietsche's
Creed: Supermen make Bessie cowed.
--- Anon
Had screwed every beast in the place.
He bragged to his staff
That he taught the giraffe
To sit on the elephant's face.
--- David Miller
Lived a girl who was always on fire.
She would screw the day through
With the gnat and the gnu,
But the cobra did nost satisfy her.
--- G1250