I once heard a story like that,
A mammologist with a bat.
His loins were on fire;
He tried a vampire.
His dick is now bloodless and flat.
--- Annie Jay

I wonder, did some early force
Predestine my bestial course?
As a child was I found
At a merry-go-round,
Riding under the carousel horse?
--- Lassie's Lover TP9901

A horny young butcher call Marcus
Was found in the freezer quite starkers,
His prick turning blue,
While attempting to screw
The rear of a freshly hung carcass.
--- Michael Horgan

Though she surely won't bless you with babies,
A heifer can pose a few maybes.
With a flapping fruit bat,
You can avoid all of that --
What a helluva way to get rabies!
--- John Miller 0311

Now bats for a change (so you say)
Are better than heifers. OK?
You give them a go,
But I think you should know,
That FRUIT bats are probably gay.
--- PeterW a

Oh please tell me this isn't so!
Homosexual's not my way to go.
When I screw a horse,
It's a filly of course:
Not a thing's wrong with this guy, you know!
--- John Miller

Listen boys, and don't forget;
Animals are only to PET!
You feel bad, no doubt,
But I can't figure out,
Do you need a doc, or a vet?
--- Kaylin

I wish that I were a hippo,
Then I'd be cool and so drippo,
And then I could chew
Oral fat with you,
And give you a great deal of lippo.
--- Limber Limericks

Hedgehogs are really quite quilly;
If one is gay, this is not silly.
One hopes he's on top
When he's ready to pop,
Or he'll puncture the other guy's willie.
--- Anon

A hedgehog has pricks of its own;
When mating, the male ones all groan.
Those sharp pointy bits
Makes sex just the pits,
So often they mate on the phone.
--- Archie

A small furry mole from Madras is
Quite happy in mountainous passes,
While digging around
With his nose underground
Eating treacle and fondling mole-asses.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young lady, Miss Ohswill,
Who once sat herself down on a mole's hill.
The resident mole,
Stuck his head up her hole,
The lady's in bliss, but the mole's ill.
--- L0662

There was a young man from Woods Hole,
Who had an affair with a mole.
Though a bit of a nancy,
He did like to fancy
Himself in the dominant role.
--- Anon L0663

There was an old lecher named Sholes
Who longed to deflower young moles.
Although he aspired,
He was always too tired,
After digging them out of their holes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The tiniest animal, the shrew,
Is known for the three-second screw.
He'll repeat it at will,
On any mole hill,
And his head is all that turns blue.
--- G1321

A rich yuppie girl in a Beemer
Made love one fine day to a lemur.
She came to adore
His four on the floor,
And his stick shift proceeded to ream her.
--- Actaeon

This dame was addicted to game,
And not to those pets who are tame.
So she was quite mild
Unless it was wild,
And then how she'd act, was a shame.
--- Archie

A sensitive maid from Moose Jaw
Was sleeping face-down in the raw;
Next morning, Alack!
There were prints on her back,
Presumably made by a paw.
--- Alsops Foibles

There once was a gal from Montrose,
And a trip to the jungle she chose.
If asked why to go,
She answered: The rhino --
I'll sit on his long pointy nose.
--- Retze Faber

Not pretty's this tale about Gosse
(I'll separate truth from the dross);
As not everyone knew,
He was found and the zoo,
With his dick up a rhinoceros.
--- Armand E Singer 886

"We refuse", said two men from Australia,
"Bestiality this saturnalia,
For now, we bethink us,
The ornithorhynchus
Is our down-under type of mammalia."
--- Isaac Asimov

A scientist paired a male bradypus
By mistake with a randy he-platypus.
Said the sloth, "I find siring
Is really too tiring.
I would have liked to try had he had a puss."
--- John Eggerton P0104

Hey Lightbulb, go out on the veldt,
And emulate many a Celt.
Go find the rear end
Of a four-legged friend,
And plunge percy deep in the pelt.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A horny near-sighted white rhino
Jumped a female, evidently albino.
But a hippo she was,
And she started to cuss,
Till she decided his dick was divino.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Hermione Gingold's big brother
Kept a cage with a something or other.
It became rather tame
So he gave it a name
And it somehow wound up as a mother.
--- Don Moore P0112

If Belize were a statue of Venus,
Just waiting for someone obscenus
To polish her bust,
I'd give her a dust
And beget an ethereal genus!
--- Anon

There once was a young man from Enis,
Who was put into strife by his penis.
He pleaded in court;
The judge brought him up short;
"Right sex," said the judge, "But wrong genus!"
--- Loz

At the zoo an old keeper named Phelps,
From the lioness seized her two whelps.
Then he buggered the pair
And he said, "I declare
They are good, but I can't stand the yelps."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1169

His twin brother, a keeper named Mel
Shoved his prick in a skunk and said, "Hell,
It is better than scroon
An old yak or racoon,
But you have to get used to the smell."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1170

There once was a man from Schenectady
About whom it was said, "How the heck did he,
Fuck skunks and bullfrogs,
Bats, lizards, and dogs,
All with the same verve and alacrity?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Erica had a big brown beaver;
With it she was a great achiever.
She's done snakes and dogs,
Koala bears, hogs,
And even a golden retriever.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I wanted somthing new for my pleasure,
So I bought a wee sheep for my leisure;
A donkey, a cow,
Some hens and a sow;
Then a ten-dollar whore for good measure!
--- CyberCelt T9710

Said the Aggie, "At school I was taught
That book learning would all come to naught
Unless learned by doing.
So I was pursuing
Animal Husbandry -- till I got caught.
--- Arthur Deex P9009

This is file odk

A zookeeper out in Decatur,
Was said by his wife to betray her.
While he worked he would fuck,
First a snake, then a duck,
And a deer, and a bear, and a 'gator.
--- Anon

When younger, our Bess was quite nice,
(Though Tiddy does ewes in a trice)
These joys would make "Req"
Collapse like a wreck --
I won't even mention my mice.
--- Archie

There's no cleaner dick, you can bet,
Than mine, and I'm free from regret,
For spending my wealth
To keep up the health
Of me and my stock -- ask the vet!
--- Travis Brasell

This group is now only a sham, see;
"Election" is screamed like a banshee.
I've put up the shields;
I'm out in the fields,
Just playing with Bessie and Lambsie.
--- Archie

On tiring of females that cluck;
I've moved on to turkey and duck,
Then humped the caboose
Of a tender young goose,
While teaching a calf how to suck.
--- Anon

The cow I'll be leaving alone;
The bishop and sheep I'll postpone.
Though I do get a rise
If I fantasize
'Bout the holes in the dyke. (stifled groan)
--- Anon

A fellow who lived in Dakar
Loved his pets, but he took it too far.
It was said, with restraint,
That his actions were quaint,
But in fact, they were truly bizarre!
--- Robert Elliot

"The genus of cattle is Bovine;
The genus of sheep is Ovine,"
Said Professor Shay,
"But for rolls in the hay,
Get a flock or a herd -- that's devine."
--- Observer

Confessed an old bachelor named Boggs,
"My heart palpitates for big dogs,
And my amorous forces
Do include docile horses,
But no way that I'd do it with hogs."
--- Armand E Singer P0305

I am from a desert so sandy,
We don't have a sheep there that's handy.
But camels and 'roos
May force us to choose
To bugger a lizard that's randy.
--- Archie

By trimming his dick to a prick,
Old Nick got a prick that was slick.
His cat and canary
Said, suddenly wary,
"No way, Nick. Just stick to your chick."
--- Confused

Down here on the ranch, nothing's strange.
In fact, our perversion's wide range
Covers sex with wild cats,
Buffalo, and fruit bats,
And, of course, these old dogs with the mange.
--- Anon

There's a dream that I think I will share,
That involves both a cow and a bear,
Which I had in a way,
That I really can't say,
But the cow's great, the bear was just fair.
--- Bob Birch P0107

A stalwart young fellow named Galion,
Was given the Pervert's Medallion.
For he buggered a cow
As he stood on a sow,
While he sucked off a Percheron stallion.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1242

We know you keep sowing wild oats,
In fields and on farms and in boats,
With ladies and cows
And occasional sows,
But now you're addicted to goats?
--- Archie

I know sex with critters is wrong,
But for action I yearn and long.
So out in the fields,
Amongst tall wheat yields,
I'm desperate to service my dong.
--- Anon

That lecherous sodomite Don
Chased animals hither and yon;
He favored young dingos
But even flamingos,
If pink enough, turned the guy on.
--- Armand E Singer 758

There was a young girl of Milan
Who never had fucked with a man.
But she fucked in a bog
With a St. Bernard dog,
A pig, and an orangutan.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1281

A messy young biddy named Bessy
Said, "Sure, I'm aware that I'm messy...
When I'm through with the dogs,
I go sleep with the hogs...
Why the hell should I try to be dressy.
--- Grand Prix Lim 632

An eminent lady named Galions
Was screwed by a bull and two stallions,
Then a St. Bernard dog
And a fine Polish hog,
And a host of assorted rapscallions.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1141

A stern wrathful God spoke to Kevin,
"You'll never get into my Heaven,
You've done it with shoats,
With dogs, sheep, and goats --
I've totaled some 127."
--- Armand E Singer 475

A duck I just never would rape,
And I would never fuck an ape.
But a hampster I've done;
I must say it's fun
As long as it's wrapped in duct tape.
--- Bleek

There was a young man with the itch,
Who, because he was not at all rich,
Had to harbor his tail
In any female,
A duck, or a sow, or a bitch.
--- L0609

Young Reggie needs six fucks a day;
Just look what he's rogered today:
Two ducks and a cow,
A sheep and a sow,
And a mare that he took in mid-neigh.
--- Archie

There was a young man of Australia,
Who went on a wild bacchanalia.
He buggered a frog,
Two mice and a dog,
And a bishop in fullest regalia.
--- L0575

For bestiality cat-houses shine.
There are more than just cats in their line.
A sheep or a cow
Or a loving young sow
Or with care, a nice sweet porcupine.
--- Theo Heller P9205

No gorilla would risk human spawn;
Tales of women and bulls make me yawn;
But some ladies of note
Have made do with a goat,
And Leda was had by a swan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Very horny was Percival Ballew,
He was frantic for something to screw.
Well he found him a sow,
Two goats and a cow,
And a salesman from Kalamazoo.
--- Jim Menger P9206

A tourist relaxing in Ghana,
Spread her legs wide in a sauna.
'Twas custom, she'd learned
To be pleasured in turn
By all sorts of exotic fauna.
--- Actaeon

A boy from old Albuquerque
Had a past decidedly murky--
Allegations of rape
With a ferret, owl, and ape,
And unspeakable things with a turkey!
--- Percy Longprong

There was a young lady of Ulva,
Who said, "I have granted a culver,
One fox, and a vole,
Two mice and a mole,
A refuge from Man in my vulva.

(culver - dove, rock pigeon)
--- T Griffiths

You fellows, so under-endowed,
Can stick your wee pricks in a crowd
Of small furry creatures,
But I follow Nietsche's
Creed: Supermen make Bessie cowed.
--- Anon

A zoo keeper known as Old Ace
Had screwed every beast in the place.
He bragged to his staff
That he taught the giraffe
To sit on the elephant's face.
--- David Miller

In the forests of wild Guatemire
Lived a girl who was always on fire.
She would screw the day through
With the gnat and the gnu,
But the cobra did nost satisfy her.
--- G1250