His testicles jingled and jangled,
With lust he was awkwardly angled,
He bellowed and roared
'Til he tripped on his sword;
Now his ballocks are horribly mangled.
--- Anon

This man from Southbend did, in time,
Take his oddity as some kind of sign.
Now he shows of his wares
At most county fairs.
You can see it for ten bucks a time.
--- Anon

Young Jimmy just cannot resist;
He's constantly using his fist,
Though he suffers from pain
In his bollocks again;
The result of testicular twist.
--- Anon

There was an old man from the hills,
Who thought he could use some cheap thrills.
So his balls he did whack,
With an almighty smack;
To this day it still gives me the chills!
--- Anon

There was an old man from Mulgoa,
Whose balls couldn't hang any lower.
They clang and they dong
As they bang on his prong,
And wrap 'round his neck like a boa.
--- Steve Wales

A student named Theodore Walls,
Was felled by a blow to his balls,
By an angry young lass
Who was late for her class;
His moans could be heard through the halls.
--- Cap'n Bean

A young soccer coach name of Hicks
Was teaching his team some new tricks.
"Let's increase our quota
Of badly crushed scrota,
By carefully aiming our kicks."
--- Armand E Singer 245

The man on the flying trapeze
Let out a most powerful sneeze;
His trousers ejected,
His glide was affected,
His testicles flapped in the breeze.
--- Cap'n Bean P0401

You have heard of the Greek named Melitus,
And his "Ode on the Nubian Foetus."
But who now recalls
How he fractured his balls
In research on Egyptian coitus.
--- G2039

I'm telling you, dear Caroline,
I'll further engagement decline.
You're standing there tall
And having a ball,
But the ball you are having is mine!
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0609

A hot-tempered girl of Caracas,
Was wed to an ill-tempered jackass.
When he started to cheat her,
With a dark senorita,
She kicked him right in the maracas.
--- Anon

In Germany once, I was lechin',
For a sweet little fraulein named Gretchen.
Then her boyfriend, Franz Stutz,
Kicked me right in the nuts.
No lechin', no Gretchen, just retchin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg

All males have to sing that refrain;
Kicked balls cause incredible pain.
Mother Nature's not fair
To hang them in the air;
Unprotected like that, it's insane.
--- Floyd Moody

When the lord of the manor's factotum
Was kicked by a mule in the scrotum,
His words of abuse
Were rather profuse,
But decorum forbids me to quote 'em.
--- Anon

I once joined a troop of these nomads,
But soon joined the ranks of the "so-sads."
When I tried to grope
Some tart high on dope,
She gave me a kick in the gonads.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow of Kiel,
Who enjoyed slyly copping a feel.
On trying this ploy
On a girl who was coy,
She knackered his balls with her heel.
--- G2386

A nudist I know was attacked
And into a corner was backed.
She was quick with her knee --
I'm sure glad it's not me
That screwed up and got his nuts cracked.
--- Neal Wilgus P8312

A hot-tempered wench of Caracas
Shook her tits like she'd shake the maracas.
When her man tried to cheat her,
With a dark senorita,
She kicked him right smack in the knackas.
--- G1996

I once met a gal named Geneeve,
Who at first seemed a little naive.
I asked her to dance,
Stuck my hand in her pants,
And she kicked me where you wouldn't believe!
--- Tony

A housewife by name of Louise
Said, "Fate can be more than a tease;
But you must seize the day,
Wear you best negligee;
Grab life by the balls, and then squeeze!"
--- Armand E Singer 178

"No wonder it hurts, Mr Nickel,"
Grinned nurse, "It's a strangled testicle!"
Then laughed till she cried,
To which Nickel replied,
"Well, it's fucking not that hysterical."
--- Peter Wilkins

A strapping young man from Sioux Falls
Is constantly trampling his balls.
They hang down so low,
He has to go slow,
And in icy conditions he crawls.
--- Big Little Playboy Lims

"It seems that your chat and lines lacked
The requisite romance and tact."
Thus chortled the doc
As she bandaged my cock
And in ice my poor testicles packed.
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a man from Bombay,
Who would do it all night and all day.
He soon became sore;
You should of heard him roar,
When his wife rubbed his balls with Ben-Gay.
--- Anon A

There once was a chap name of Fellows;
On his ass he'd constructed a bellows.
Though it did cause some pain,
It would fan a small flame,
Till his balls burned a fiery yellow!
--- Pat McGroin

When I was young with no sense,
Put my balls to an electric fence.
Curled my hair, tickled balls,
Beshat my overalls.
The pain that it caused me: IMMENSE!
--- Allanon

There was a young man in Norway,
Who was fucking his girl in a sleigh.
But the cold was so frigid,
It froze his balls rigid,
And all he could shoot was frappe.
--- L1313

In Skye, said a doctor from Wilts,
The men often have enlarged milts.
But in Winter his calls
Are to treat frozen balls,
Since they wear no briefs under their kilts.
--- A N Wilkins P8802

A man with a fever so dire,
Had testes which burned like a pyre.
He was heard to exclaim,
As they doused out the flame,
"Good Gracious Me! Great Balls of Fire!"
--- David Goldfield

I abhor the onslaught of snow,
When the cold makes a man...well, you know,
Shrivel up like a raisin.
I find it amazin'
There exist any young Eskimo.
--- John Miller 0138 a

There once was a man from Fort Meyer,
Who wrapped his balls up in barbed-wire.
He flicked the switch,
And, Oh! What a bitch!
His balls began to catch fire.
--- Angelo Melo

A young apple-grower named Pease
Grew apples so fine on his trees.
He took some to the fair
In his thin underwear,
And two of his apples did freeze.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1811

There once lived a bloke called John Miller;
He sat with his acrote on a griller.
He had no feeling
From his scrotum skin peeling.
Took a pic; thought it was a killer.

This is file ocm

A guru stark naked and holy
Is sitting on top of Stromboli,
His balls overlooking
The crater. He's cooking
And steaming his genitals slowly.
--- Peter Wilkins

A hooker in Niagara Falls
Paraded in new coveralls.
Her name, it was Nancy;
If she tickled your fancy,
She also would tickle your balls.
--- VOL 10

There was a young man from Batasse,
Whose balls were made out of glass.
On hot sunny days,
They focused the rays
And burned all the hair off his ass.
--- K Talbot

We're now off to pastures bucolic,
Where, apart from the brew alcoholic,
There's nothing to do,
But have a good screw,
Until you have emptied your bollocks.
--- Anon

This guy has a tune, he recalls,
That helps him to screw till he falls.
The tune, if you please,
May be followed with ease;
Just follow the two bouncing balls.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

A squirrely spinster from Lutz
Had quite an addiction to nuts.
They aren't the kind
People nibble and grind,
But are fondled by housewives and sluts.
--- Macsam

Far above, the wild honker-flock calls;
When the leaves turn to gold, then y'alls
Gotta head on indoors
With a six-pack of Coors;
Let your Good Old Gal fondle your balls!
--- Anon

His balls needed low radiation,
But he received the wrong gradiation.
Now they can light
The deep darkest night,
And broadcast a radio station.
--- Tom Patton P9504a

A very old fucker named Hugh,
Had hair 'round his balls that was blue.
He once said in a drawl,
"Though my nuts may be small,
They sure glow in the dark when I screw!"
--- Mark Levy P9605

There once was a little old geezer
Who kept his small balls in the freezer.
"I don't want them to rot,
When attached they are not.
They always fall off when I sneezer!"
--- Marlene Lewis

A lady named Miss Anne DuBois,
Used a pair of my balls called ben wa.
She squirmed and gyrated,
And when she was sated,
Kissed both sets of balls and said, "Ahhh!"
--- Irish

There was an old man with brass balls
Who wore some old overalls.
He'd shimmy and shake
And the sound they would make
Was really disturbing to all.
--- Jeffrey L Lorentz

Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum,
Joe bought Ivory Soap just to coat 'em.
It got rid of the smell,
They're still wrinkly as hell,
But when he hops in, he can float 'em.
--- John Chastaine

There was an old man from Iran
Whose balls were a beautiful tan;
They quite matched his gown,
Which was also nut-brown
(It must have been Allah's own plan).
--- Norm Storer

My castle has very large halls
To accomodate the size of my balls.
Oh you know what I mean,
For this limerick is clean;
It's big parties I hosting ya'll.
--- Anon

Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum,
He whirled like a human teetotum.
The centrifugal force
Stretched the skin out, or course,
But the dizziness finally smote 'em.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A thrifty young fellow was Walls;
He took his girl out to the Falls.
Said his girl, "I do think
I would like a nice drink."
So he gave her the sweat off his balls.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2378

I corrected this when you first ran it;
He has the most balls on the planet.
Or should I say stones,
And in spite of your groans,
I'm afraid that we take them for granite.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Some women are fun, some are fickle;
By some you'll be left in a pickle.
Put them all to a test,
Get the one who laughs best,
And the test that is best -- a test tickle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2043

There once was a sporting young dude,
In the mood to cavort in the nude.
But being too shrewd
To appear quite so crude,
Tied his plenitude up in a snood.
--- Pierce Evans

Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum,
There's only two ways, and I'll quote 'em:
Just fill in the seams
With unguents and creams,
Or else in red wine you can float 'em.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young man from Savannah,
Who'd do anything for a tanner.
His favorite trick
Was to stand on his prick
And unscrew his balls with a spanner.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My testicles also hang low;
Should I duct tape them also? You know,
I quite like this constriction;
It causes me friction
And makes my anatomy grow.
--- Anon

Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum
Michael Jackson bought Crisco to coat 'em.
He smeared it on thick,
Between his ass and his dick,
And bought a cute velvet bag just to tote 'em!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

In the future, I really don't think
I'll go to John's house for a drink,
Because I have found
That fresh from the mound,
He washes his balls in the sink.
--- Anon

My bollocks impose a stern reign,
And make me flout sanity's rein;
But lusting for twat
Leaves them often so hot,
I must leave them outside in the rain!
--- Norm Storer P9112

A long-peckered lecher named Brock
Used a barrow to carry his cock.
He has such massive balls,
He can't go through halls,
But must leave them at home under lock.
--- G0269

So here's this lewd fellow named Brock,
Who loves to play golf with his cock.
Its ungodly size
Horrifies other guys,
And gals shit their pants from sheer shock!
--- G0270

There was a young man of Provence,
Whose ballocks were simply immense.
"They're an excellent float,
In a bathtub or boat,
But", he said, "What a bore when I yentz."
--- L1636

Il y avait un jeune homme de Provence
Dont les couilles etaient vraiment immenses.
"C'est un grand avantage,"
Disait-il "quand je nage,
Mais ca gene quant je baise ou je danse."
--- Anon

An Irishman down by the shore
Was nicknamed as Yo-Yo Galore.
His balls were so big,
When he dances the jig,
They bounce up and down on the floor.
--- David Miller

Our John's just a crusty ol' fart,
But Jesus!, that fucker is smart,
And generous with
The smut and the pith,
And carries his balls in a cart.
--- Anon

'Tis true I've got huevos galore,
Stretchin' clear down to the floor.
'Fore I sit, I must loft 'em
Or surely I'd pop them,
And end up quite scrotally sore.
--- Anon