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His testicles jingled and jangled, This man from Southbend did, in time, Young Jimmy just cannot resist; There was an old man from the hills, There was an old man from Mulgoa, A student named Theodore Walls, A young soccer coach name of Hicks The man on the flying trapeze You have heard of the Greek named Melitus, I'm telling you, dear Caroline, A hot-tempered girl of Caracas, In Germany once, I was lechin', All males have to sing that refrain; When the lord of the manor's factotum I once joined a troop of these nomads, There was a young fellow of Kiel, A nudist I know was attacked A hot-tempered wench of Caracas I once met a gal named Geneeve, A housewife by name of Louise "No wonder it hurts, Mr Nickel," A strapping young man from Sioux Falls "It seems that your chat and lines lacked There once was a man from Bombay, There once was a chap name of Fellows; When I was young with no sense, There was a young man in Norway, In Skye, said a doctor from Wilts, A man with a fever so dire, I abhor the onslaught of snow, There once was a man from Fort Meyer, A young apple-grower named Pease There once lived a bloke called John Miller; A guru stark naked and holy A hooker in Niagara Falls There was a young man from Batasse, We're now off to pastures bucolic, This guy has a tune, he recalls, A squirrely spinster from Lutz Far above, the wild honker-flock calls; His balls needed low radiation, A very old fucker named Hugh, There once was a little old geezer A lady named Miss Anne DuBois, There was an old man with brass balls Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum, There was an old man from Iran My castle has very large halls Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum, A thrifty young fellow was Walls; I corrected this when you first ran it; Some women are fun, some are fickle; There once was a sporting young dude, Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum, There was a young man from Savannah, My testicles also hang low; Desiring an unwrinkled scrotum In the future, I really don't think My bollocks impose a stern reign, A long-peckered lecher named Brock So here's this lewd fellow named Brock, There was a young man of Provence, Il y avait un jeune homme de Provence An Irishman down by the shore Our John's just a crusty ol' fart, 'Tis true I've got huevos galore,
With lust he was awkwardly angled,
He bellowed and roared
'Til he tripped on his sword;
Now his ballocks are horribly mangled.
--- Anon
Take his oddity as some kind of sign.
Now he shows of his wares
At most county fairs.
You can see it for ten bucks a time.
--- Anon
He's constantly using his fist,
Though he suffers from pain
In his bollocks again;
The result of testicular twist.
--- Anon
Who thought he could use some cheap thrills.
So his balls he did whack,
With an almighty smack;
To this day it still gives me the chills!
--- Anon
Whose balls couldn't hang any lower.
They clang and they dong
As they bang on his prong,
And wrap 'round his neck like a boa.
--- Steve Wales
Was felled by a blow to his balls,
By an angry young lass
Who was late for her class;
His moans could be heard through the halls.
--- Cap'n Bean
Was teaching his team some new tricks.
"Let's increase our quota
Of badly crushed scrota,
By carefully aiming our kicks."
--- Armand E Singer 245
Let out a most powerful sneeze;
His trousers ejected,
His glide was affected,
His testicles flapped in the breeze.
--- Cap'n Bean P0401
And his "Ode on the Nubian Foetus."
But who now recalls
How he fractured his balls
In research on Egyptian coitus.
--- G2039
I'll further engagement decline.
You're standing there tall
And having a ball,
But the ball you are having is mine!
--- Carl Ludvig Kjelsen P0609
Was wed to an ill-tempered jackass.
When he started to cheat her,
With a dark senorita,
She kicked him right in the maracas.
--- Anon
For a sweet little fraulein named Gretchen.
Then her boyfriend, Franz Stutz,
Kicked me right in the nuts.
No lechin', no Gretchen, just retchin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Kicked balls cause incredible pain.
Mother Nature's not fair
To hang them in the air;
Unprotected like that, it's insane.
--- Floyd Moody
Was kicked by a mule in the scrotum,
His words of abuse
Were rather profuse,
But decorum forbids me to quote 'em.
--- Anon
But soon joined the ranks of the "so-sads."
When I tried to grope
Some tart high on dope,
She gave me a kick in the gonads.
--- Anon
Who enjoyed slyly copping a feel.
On trying this ploy
On a girl who was coy,
She knackered his balls with her heel.
--- G2386
And into a corner was backed.
She was quick with her knee --
I'm sure glad it's not me
That screwed up and got his nuts cracked.
--- Neal Wilgus P8312
Shook her tits like she'd shake the maracas.
When her man tried to cheat her,
With a dark senorita,
She kicked him right smack in the knackas.
--- G1996
Who at first seemed a little naive.
I asked her to dance,
Stuck my hand in her pants,
And she kicked me where you wouldn't believe!
--- Tony
Said, "Fate can be more than a tease;
But you must seize the day,
Wear you best negligee;
Grab life by the balls, and then squeeze!"
--- Armand E Singer 178
Grinned nurse, "It's a strangled testicle!"
Then laughed till she cried,
To which Nickel replied,
"Well, it's fucking not that hysterical."
--- Peter Wilkins
Is constantly trampling his balls.
They hang down so low,
He has to go slow,
And in icy conditions he crawls.
--- Big Little Playboy Lims
The requisite romance and tact."
Thus chortled the doc
As she bandaged my cock
And in ice my poor testicles packed.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who would do it all night and all day.
He soon became sore;
You should of heard him roar,
When his wife rubbed his balls with Ben-Gay.
--- Anon A
On his ass he'd constructed a bellows.
Though it did cause some pain,
It would fan a small flame,
Till his balls burned a fiery yellow!
--- Pat McGroin
Put my balls to an electric fence.
Curled my hair, tickled balls,
Beshat my overalls.
The pain that it caused me: IMMENSE!
--- Allanon
Who was fucking his girl in a sleigh.
But the cold was so frigid,
It froze his balls rigid,
And all he could shoot was frappe.
--- L1313
The men often have enlarged milts.
But in Winter his calls
Are to treat frozen balls,
Since they wear no briefs under their kilts.
--- A N Wilkins P8802
Had testes which burned like a pyre.
He was heard to exclaim,
As they doused out the flame,
"Good Gracious Me! Great Balls of Fire!"
--- David Goldfield
When the cold makes a man...well, you know,
Shrivel up like a raisin.
I find it amazin'
There exist any young Eskimo.
--- John Miller 0138 a
Who wrapped his balls up in barbed-wire.
He flicked the switch,
And, Oh! What a bitch!
His balls began to catch fire.
--- Angelo Melo
Grew apples so fine on his trees.
He took some to the fair
In his thin underwear,
And two of his apples did freeze.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1811
He sat with his acrote on a griller.
He had no feeling
From his scrotum skin peeling.
Took a pic; thought it was a killer.
This is file ocm
Is sitting on top of Stromboli,
His balls overlooking
The crater. He's cooking
And steaming his genitals slowly.
--- Peter Wilkins
Paraded in new coveralls.
Her name, it was Nancy;
If she tickled your fancy,
She also would tickle your balls.
--- VOL 10
Whose balls were made out of glass.
On hot sunny days,
They focused the rays
And burned all the hair off his ass.
--- K Talbot
Where, apart from the brew alcoholic,
There's nothing to do,
But have a good screw,
Until you have emptied your bollocks.
--- Anon
That helps him to screw till he falls.
The tune, if you please,
May be followed with ease;
Just follow the two bouncing balls.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Had quite an addiction to nuts.
They aren't the kind
People nibble and grind,
But are fondled by housewives and sluts.
--- Macsam
When the leaves turn to gold, then y'alls
Gotta head on indoors
With a six-pack of Coors;
Let your Good Old Gal fondle your balls!
--- Anon
But he received the wrong gradiation.
Now they can light
The deep darkest night,
And broadcast a radio station.
--- Tom Patton P9504a
Had hair 'round his balls that was blue.
He once said in a drawl,
"Though my nuts may be small,
They sure glow in the dark when I screw!"
--- Mark Levy P9605
Who kept his small balls in the freezer.
"I don't want them to rot,
When attached they are not.
They always fall off when I sneezer!"
--- Marlene Lewis
Used a pair of my balls called ben wa.
She squirmed and gyrated,
And when she was sated,
Kissed both sets of balls and said, "Ahhh!"
--- Irish
Who wore some old overalls.
He'd shimmy and shake
And the sound they would make
Was really disturbing to all.
--- Jeffrey L Lorentz
Joe bought Ivory Soap just to coat 'em.
It got rid of the smell,
They're still wrinkly as hell,
But when he hops in, he can float 'em.
--- John Chastaine
Whose balls were a beautiful tan;
They quite matched his gown,
Which was also nut-brown
(It must have been Allah's own plan).
--- Norm Storer
To accomodate the size of my balls.
Oh you know what I mean,
For this limerick is clean;
It's big parties I hosting ya'll.
--- Anon
He whirled like a human teetotum.
The centrifugal force
Stretched the skin out, or course,
But the dizziness finally smote 'em.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
He took his girl out to the Falls.
Said his girl, "I do think
I would like a nice drink."
So he gave her the sweat off his balls.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2378
He has the most balls on the planet.
Or should I say stones,
And in spite of your groans,
I'm afraid that we take them for granite.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
By some you'll be left in a pickle.
Put them all to a test,
Get the one who laughs best,
And the test that is best -- a test tickle.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2043
In the mood to cavort in the nude.
But being too shrewd
To appear quite so crude,
Tied his plenitude up in a snood.
--- Pierce Evans
There's only two ways, and I'll quote 'em:
Just fill in the seams
With unguents and creams,
Or else in red wine you can float 'em.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who'd do anything for a tanner.
His favorite trick
Was to stand on his prick
And unscrew his balls with a spanner.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Should I duct tape them also? You know,
I quite like this constriction;
It causes me friction
And makes my anatomy grow.
--- Anon
Michael Jackson bought Crisco to coat 'em.
He smeared it on thick,
Between his ass and his dick,
And bought a cute velvet bag just to tote 'em!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'll go to John's house for a drink,
Because I have found
That fresh from the mound,
He washes his balls in the sink.
--- Anon
And make me flout sanity's rein;
But lusting for twat
Leaves them often so hot,
I must leave them outside in the rain!
--- Norm Storer P9112
Used a barrow to carry his cock.
He has such massive balls,
He can't go through halls,
But must leave them at home under lock.
--- G0269
Who loves to play golf with his cock.
Its ungodly size
Horrifies other guys,
And gals shit their pants from sheer shock!
--- G0270
Whose ballocks were simply immense.
"They're an excellent float,
In a bathtub or boat,
But", he said, "What a bore when I yentz."
--- L1636
Dont les couilles etaient vraiment immenses.
"C'est un grand avantage,"
Disait-il "quand je nage,
Mais ca gene quant je baise ou je danse."
--- Anon
Was nicknamed as Yo-Yo Galore.
His balls were so big,
When he dances the jig,
They bounce up and down on the floor.
--- David Miller
But Jesus!, that fucker is smart,
And generous with
The smut and the pith,
And carries his balls in a cart.
--- Anon
Stretchin' clear down to the floor.
'Fore I sit, I must loft 'em
Or surely I'd pop them,
And end up quite scrotally sore.
--- Anon
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