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At the zoo, a young fellow named Heeper
Asked the price of a screw, from the keeper.
Said the keeper, "A gnu
is ten bucks a screw.
The rhino and camel are cheaper.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1252

A beastophile by name of Raul
Did nasty things with his tool;
Shoved it down the throat
Of a neighborhood goat,
And then in the ass of a mule.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Any serious student of cunt'll
Determine at once that a frontal
Attack on the crack
Of a goat or a yak,
Can serve but to vex and disgruntle
--- John Miller Q

If a goat, sheep, or cow you are wooin',
Her male may object to your screwin'.
A riled billy may wham ya --
A randy ram ram ya --
Or a horny bull be your undoin'.
--- Edwina Leer

Excitement is rising and how!
I'm off to St Kilda right now;
But if all them goats
Are chock full of Ogg's oats,
Then I hope there are heifers to plow.
--- Anon

Said Janet, "Us kids live in fear,
Of Grandpa's old thing in our rear;
And his nasty bad habits
With sheep, cows and rabbits,
So Dad had him fixed up last year."
--- David Miller

There once was a man called Piot,
Whose sexual habits were a riot.
From horses to hen,
To mice and to men,
If it had a hole, he would try it.
--- Reggie

Now Tiddy, you know I would never
Tell you where to put your meat lever,
But you might consider
Being a switch-hitter.
Just think, then you could live for heifer.
--- Cyber Wizard

Though Tiddy loves meat on the hoof,
To bitches he'd not stay aloof.
If given a dalmatian
For gratification,
He'd bury his bone with a "woof".
--- Randog

Young Jack has a pet habit, which is
The cause of his always-damp britches.
He masturbates gaily
A dozen times daily,
And screws hens and heifers and bitches.
--- G1344

Andrew was a young Limey fuck,
Who'd erect at the sound of a duck.
He made it with hens,
The occasional wren;
And once even did with a duck.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Those pictures with horses are phoney;
Most girls can make do with a pony.
Dogs stick to their task,
What more could you ask?
And a cat makes you smart, no baloney.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a woman named Cassey,
Who had an incredible chassis.
She exhausted a hog,
Screwed the ears off a dog,
And named her first child after Lassie.
--- Bob Birch P0011

Another young lad from Toulouse
Is often found hiding in zoos;
He creeps into cages
And there he assuages
His lust with both llamas and gnus.
--- Anon

A Percheron mare came in season
And was horny beyond rhyme or reason.
She buggered a dog,
Three men and a hog,
Plus a llama, a bull, and a Friesan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a fellow named Ben
Who was aroused by livestock in a pen.
Though he knew 'twas forbidden,
He was parasite ridden
From trying it now and again.
--- Wlumma

A zoo not afraid to be outed
Climbed up on a rooftop and shouted:
"I'm a zoo and I'm proud,
And I'll say it out loud!"
When he learned no one'd heard, though, he pouted.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Tom said that "Wee John is a louse,"
Inferred he would ferret his house
With tomes from the past.
He let out a blast,
"Well are you a man or a mouse?"
--- Tom Allen

But John is a known man of leisure,
Whose appetites for sexual pleasure
Includes goats and some ferrets,
And a few larger parrots
And a shepherd or two for good measure.
--- Tom Allen

Farmer George, when he wanted a screw,
Stepped out naked; his pecker on view.
It attracted the sows,
Turkeys, ducks, hens and cows,
With an oink, gobble, quack, squawk and moo.
--- Anon

The noise woke his wife Peggy May
Who said, "Dobbin? I want us to play.
If old George gets it out
Why should I do without...
Ohmygod, you're enormous today!"
--- Anon

A young taxidermist from Ada,
Whose wife said he'd often betrayed her,
Was sued for divorce
For mounting a horse,
A moose and a goose and a 'gator
--- G1178

An elderly pervert from Nice,
Who was long past attracting a piece,
Would jackoff his hogs,
His cows and his dogs,
Till his parrot called in the police.
--- L0627

Up sabres! Salute Don Quixote!
His instincts were raunchy and goaty.
He screwed llamas and camels,
And other small mammals.
And a rattlesnake once, on peyote.
--- G1226

A harlot who came from St. Paul
Was raped by six men in the hall.
Then sucked off by a dog,
And a prize-winning hog,
But she stayed and she outfucked them all.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1176

I've tested some parrots out, twice,
And cows which I found none too nice.
While sheep are okay,
For a really good lay,
I've taken up buggering mice.
--- Archie

I wouldn't do parrots, they talk;
Cows sometimes kick when they balk.
Mice may be nice
But often have lice.
But flies beat out sheep in a walk.
--- John Miller

My cousin, a hick from Kentucky,
Is stupid, but man is he lucky.
The pigs and the sheep
And the chickens he keeps,
He eats except when he feels fucky!.
--- Wildman T9801

They say being zoo is insane-o.
To that I reply, "What do they know?
Can their lovers neigh,
Or roll in the hay,
Or come like an active volcano?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Young Sal, on a trip to the zoo
Was laid low by a crazed kangaroo.
Then she got a sore throat
From sucking a goat,
So she's feeling a little horse too.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The beautiful Mistress LePew
Stayed overnight at the zoo;
She fellated the hares,
Had sex with the bears,
And plugged up her ass with a shrew.
--- Mike Tice

That amorous zoo keeper, Keach,
Will screw anything within reach,
Like Manx cats and beagles
Or seagull and eagles,
Plus owls of the type that don't screech.
--- Armand E Singer 606

There was a young lady named Pratt
Who caught in her attic a bat.
This she kept in the loo
With a tomcat and gnu,
So all four shared the hole where she shat.
--- G1303

This is file ock

Tonight, while we're flocking our sheep,
The clock makes a terrible leap.
But I and Sir Ogg,
With the help of a dog,
Will still lull our charges to sleep.
--- John Miller

Your taste in bestiality's bland;
You try only what's found in your land.
Why not, for a lark,
Try a horny aardvark?
Or do you think that would make you "unmanned"?
--- John Miller

What you're suggesting is droll;
The aardvark has too small a hole.
But I'd share with you
A wombat or two,
And Archie might try a large vole.
--- John Miller

Can't deny there's a certain intrigue
To join in your mammal blitzkrieg.
Thanks for the offer
Of wombat, to boff her,
But I don't think that I'm in your league.
--- James

Not hetero, homo, nor bi;
There's far greater pleasures that vie
To make my pulse quicken,
Like sheep and young chicken
That struggle and thrash as they die.
--- Anon

There was a young fellow named Ades,
Whose favorite fruit was young maids.
But sheep, boys, and whores,
And the knot holes in doors,
Were by no means exempt from his raids.
--- Anon

I wonder who's kissing her now?
Don't tell me! I might have a cow!
With sheep and warm goats,
I'll sow my wild oats;
While her lounge-lizard shags the old sow!
--- Anon

That's the trouble with boys from the city;
They just think of cunt, ass, and titty.
But stickin one's dick in
Sheep, horses, or chicken
Or cows is the real nitty-gritty.
--- Peter W

It's summer, and most folks are doing
Their usual peeping or screwing,
Sheep, llama or deer.
Come fall they'll be here,
And more rancid rhymes will be brewing.
--- Anon

And don't forget buggering mice
We do three or four in a trice.
It stops us from thinking
About limerinking,
And infests us all with the lice.
--- Anon

A liberal lady from Blakes
Has a passion for sinuous snakes,
But will offer her tail
To a worm or a whale,
Or to anything else that it takes.
--- Hugh Oliver A118B

Pity poor Molly McGrew,
She claimed she knew not what to do.
After being had in due course
By three dogs and a horse;
I'd visit the vet, wouldn't you?
--- Pat McGregor

Dave's brother Zeke does ESPOUSE
The kind of love no law allows.
Wedded to, you see,
Animal husbandry;
Among the wives, three ewes and two cows.
--- Phil Kinay

Youse guys betta watcha you tongue,
Or I rippa you heart and lung.
Dose Jersey cows
Are all built like sows;
We know Zeke loves ewes, but he's young.
--- Daniel Ford

I can make your choice increase! See...
Don't limit yourself to your species.
Try chickens or dogs,
Or clit lickin' frogs,
Or that sweet bovine slut name of Bessy.
--- Anon

There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
Who Aunt was a former street walker;
She walked seventy miles,
And leaped fifteen stiles,
And did tricks with two dogs and a porker.
--- Edwardian Leer 004

Two foxes decided to mate
While watching an ape masturbate.
When the spent dog bent 'roun',
The ape hunkered down;
The three had a nice tete-a-tete.
--- Actaeon

An ugly old warthog came cryin',
"Now I've been raped by a lion."
I said, "What a sin!
Did he get all the way in?"
"Not yet, but we are still tryin'!"
--- Actaeon

A chappie from old Cullercoats
Would screw weasels and hedgehogs and stoats.
This predisposition
For furry coition
Led to anal insertion in goats!
--- Moonman T9801

For that lusty old sodomite Lowndes,
Humping animals knows no real bounds;
He displays vile carnality,
Unrestrained bestiality,
And beds wildcats, though much prefers hounds.
--- Armand Singer

Do you, Tiddy Ogg, take this ewe,
To have and to hold and to screw,
Until she gets rough,
Bu perhaps not too tough
To use in a fine mutton stew?
--- Tiddy Ogg

Do you, Miller John, take this heifer,
Forsaking all others and neifer
Give up on your screwing,
Till she's fit for stewing,
Where upon you can still wear the leather?
--- Tiddy Ogg

So how's life with this heifer of thine.
Now have you both the knot been tyin'?
Have you set up a home
Where the inlaws can roam,
Which is welcome for all kith and kine?
--- Tiddy Ogg

That heifer is now an old cow
That I can't satisfy anyhow.
So before I go blind
From Viagra, I'll find
Me a wriggley, hot little sow.;
--- Tiddy Ogg

Will you, Aussie Arch, take these meeces,
And fuck the wee critters to pieces,
While letting some breed,
From your and their need,
Ensuring supply never ceases?
--- Tiddy Ogg

I keep a good few in my house;
A plentiful pool of haus fraus,
For though I am wed
I find in my bed,
I tend to be polygamouse
--- Archie

Do you, David Miller, you sod,
Take this sweet Aussie Macropod;
For better or worse,
Hope she's not adverse,
To hop on your miniscule rod.
--- David Miller

Will you, good friend Ward, take this chimp,
And swear or affirm, you're her pimp.
And sublet this "crack ho"
To each paying black "bro",
Till she's pregnant and big as a blimp?
--- Ward Hardman

Troll Jim, will you take this fine pig,
And paint her as black a "jig",
Rent her out as "Yo Momma,"
To the likes of Osama,
While diddling your butt with a twig.
--- Ward Hardman

The wombats claim they are the finer.
They're not bad for underground miners.
For marsupial love,
There's nothing above
A one year old male antechinus!
--- Archie

The shagging of bacon and beef
Is certain to bring you to grief.
I once was a glutton
For everything mutton,
But now use the Bird for relief. (girlfriend)
--- Tiddy Ogg

I'd turn to the sea in a blink,
But still stick to mammals, I think:
The porpoise, they say,
Can do it "our way",
With less of that sour fishy stink.
--- John Miller

Will you walk down the aisle, say "I do"
With this lissom and lithe she-gnu.
Will you give her a poke
When she's tied to a yoke,
And squeezing her tits while you screw?
--- Jester Jon


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