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If eating a duck gets you down In season there's always young lamb. Nearly no man I know ever knocks If you like, you might get in a deer, You can always make do with a pig, Or turning away for the hog, The boys from the factory lube crews Those giraffes are such marvelous neckers And when you Impala young Cheetah, When wanting courtship in the Congo, (Amateur or a Madagascar bird)
Take warning from this neutered shepherd, Er was eens een juffrouw in Groningen Well, Mickey, I'm sorry to burst This dumb Esperanto is crap, Il y a une jeune fille amoureuse There once was an amorous young girlfriend There was a young lady of Nantes, A hungry cunnilinguist named Mays, In Paris, some visitors go, (??) Frog phrase
Un jeune homme de Ste-Anne-de-Bellvue Ah, zis girl que je trouve, she iz drole, Digerie, digerie, doge, On s'tonne ici que Caliste Je vous aime, Beau and coup, tous les deux Je non parle le francais too well In the shade of a palm tree at Sousse The Queen's man, somewhere near Zaighen, The Girton Girl, just outside Gabes, Bon Noel: en anglais: Happy Yule. Been promised wild sex ce soir, A handsome young bastard named Ray, A learned and truly exquisite (syncresis - union of conflicting views, vidilicet-??)
Une jolie epousette a Tours There was and old man of Marseilles, With a smile, said the lass of Marseilles, The tarts in the town of Marseilles, (And there's lots of them. Let us play.
Les cocottes de la ville de Marseille, (Parody of Villon's 'Where are the snows of yesteryear?')
Les salons del la ville de Trieste Il y a une jeune fille amoureuse BASTILLE La jour del glor-i-e There was a young man of G.B. Der Himmel mit Lightnung brach uber Ich war immer in Schule der besser. In Gefangnis hatte ich ein Krampf Kanzler war ich in drei und dreissig; Czechoslovakia kam bei nechst Das Dritte Reich war jetzt geboren Ist gut Martin Borman.
Zu ein Serpent ist simmler Nur etri tierisch Kikemann.
Etwas krumm is mit Speer, A maiden sat under a tree Sass Madelein unter den Aestchen Ein lustiger Geck namens Franz, Der Kamel ward entzuckt Erat miles olim in Italia There's adverts intended to tempt, or Ovarium testisque sunt A botanist from old Tallahassee (a woman did it - FB)
Erat Romanorum dictator, A horny old bastard from Brest, (while there's life, there's hope - FB)
Atlanticam transvollitavi You've flown across the Atlantic As dull as the life of the cloister, Being accurate is the best way Puella Rigensis ridebat, Olim vir Veronensis erat Apud Rege tutor veteramus
In the mouth, you can wipe out that frown
With a taste of wild beaver
Or send your retriever
To pick up some pussy in town.
--- John Miller 0335a
(Out of season you'll get in a jam:
Like under-aged quail,
It can land you in jail;
Better leave it alone, as I am.)
--- John Miller 0335b
The joys of a tender young fox.
A slender young vixen
More tricky than Nixon,
Can blow you right out of your socks.
--- John Miller 0335c
To enjoy in your home without fear.
Which, however, ages
In unpleasant stages:
Endure then your game without cheer.
--- John Miller 0335d
If you're not too much of a prig,
And think them "unclean"
And other things mean,
Till your sense of disgust gets too big.
--- John Miller 0335e
There is always the plain homely dog.
Though no feast for the eyes,
It's enough for the wise
When fortified with enough grog.
--- John Miller 0335f
Grease Monkeys, while their full of booze.
The lads from the army
Fuck hippopotami,
And pressmen are out making gnus.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And I love Sitatunga, muff Duikers.
And a Serval Okapi
Makes my Hartebeest happy,
And my Dikdik gets Hyrax on peckers.
--- David Miller
You can't Jackal, you must be neetah.
But I love to screw
And Elephant shrew.
Now that's a Kudu you can't beat-ah!
--- David Miller
Try antelopes, known as the Bongo.
There's not many left.
I am sadly bereft...
"The last one to fuck is a Drongo."
--- David Miller
If sneaking up on a she-leopard;
If she's not heard your sound,
And then turns around,
Your balls with cat claws will be peppered.
--- David Miller
Die had gruwelijk het land aan verschoningen.
Zij waste haar fluit
Maar eens per jaar uit,
En dat was men Driekoningen.
--- L1711
Your bubble, though hardly the first.
Attempting "bel canto"
In fine Esperanto,
You're certainly one of the worst!
Invented by some foreign sap,
For purpose nefarious.
You simply need various
Translations of "Sit on my lap."
--- Tiddy Ogg
D'un homme qu'a une conduite honteuse.
Il la mene chaque soir
A son caveau noir
Et la bad avec plainges crapuleuses.
--- Edward Gorey
Of a man with a disgusting colon.
He led her each night
To his dark vault
And bombarded her with villainous complaints.
--- Edward Gorey
Who was tres joli et piquante.
But her thing was so small,
It was no good at all,
Except for la plume de ma tante.
--- Anon
Played with a fruit salad for days.
"To hell with a cherry,
I seek a red berry,
If I'm permitted to coign a fraise."
--- G2422
To see what no person should know.
And then there are tourists,
Who think they are purists
Who say it is quite comme il faut.
--- Anon
Demandait a les filles, "Screwez vous?"
Il sourit, quand les belles
(Ou meme n'importse quelles!)
Respondaient, en effet, "Oui, we do!"
--- Keith MacMillan 51a
To foudre her chatte iz my goal,
But her temps du moi's there,
Je la prends par derrière,
Then she donne moi branlette espagnole.
--- Anon
Le souris ascend l'horloge;
L'horloge frappe
Le souris s'chappe,
Digerie, digerie, doge.
--- The Limerick Makers P0506
Alt pris l'habit de Moliniste
Puisque cette jeune beaut
Ote chacun sa libert
N'est ce pas une Janseniste?
--- Anon
You have both, naughty belles, juicy creux
I long for your cons
They're so wonderfully bons
And your seins, their mamelon, light my fux.
--- TuttaGioia
Mais les BeauCoups sound wonderfully swell
If je flashed them mon percy
Would either say,"Merci"?
Or would they say, "Allez a hell"?
--- Anon
He said, "J'aime tes deux pamplemousses";
With langourous sigh
She murmured reply,
"Je pense que ta banane est douce".
--- Harold C Bibby
Asked, "Leibling, wolllst du dich legen?
Dann, erste den Kampf
Und nachste den Krampf,
Geshlechliche Wolluste pflegen".
--- Harold C Bibby
Said, "Membrum virilem habes;
Cunnem habeo:
Animo meo
Nunc conjuctemus per labies."
--- Harold C Bibby
C'est magnifique: en anglais: Real cool.
Honi soit, mal y pense:
Evil thoughts, evil wants...
So few gains, from my French pains in school.
--- Cyber Geezer
(Sur mon lit, dans un ménage á trois)
I hope they are wettish,
To indulge my fetish..
And with their teeth, deéshabillez-moi.
--- Anon
Was conceived on the Rue de la Paix.
According to law,
He can name you his ma,
But as for his pa, je ne sais.
--- John F Moore
Young miss paid her tutor a visit.
When, testing her thesis,
He suggested syncresis,
She responded, in form, "Vidilicet."
--- John Ciardi
Voulait de gig-gig tous les jours.
Mais le mari disait, "Non!
De trop n'est pas bon!
Mon derriere exige du secours!"
--- L0109
This is file oak
Who said to a demoiselle, "Hey!
I'll pay you beaucoup,
Give you jewelry, too,
If only you'll do it my way."
--- Isaac Asimov
"I admit it's my business to play,
But voila tout les hommes,
All waiting to commes,
So I cannot oblige you today."
--- Isaac Asimov
Are brunette from the sun every day.
White wine is their piddle,
For ten francs they'll diddle--
But their tickets of health, where are they?
--- L1033
Sont brunettes de l'ardent soleil.
Elles pissent du vin blanc,
Couchent pour dix francs--
Mais ou sont les patentes de sante.
--- L1032
Sont vaseux, suraigus, et funestes;
Parmi les grandes chaises
On cause de malaises,
Des estropiements, et des pestes.
--- Edward Gorey
D'un homme qu'a une conduite honteuse.
Il la mene chaque soir
A son caveau noir
Et la bat avec plaintes crapuleuses.
--- Edward Gorey
Egal---, Fratern---et Liberte
A bas le roi -- marchons
A bas le grosse couchons
A bas lim-riques en mal Francais.
--- Irving Superior P8907
Who spelt the word villa with v
Ein Herr von der Au
Aber schrieb es mit V
Andres Land, andre Sitten, you see!
--- Cesar Keiser
Als ich kam von mein' Mutter's Tuba.
Ich war ein schones Kind
Und sie war en sehr blind
Mich zu nahmen Herr Schickel-Gruber.
--- Clifford Mortimer Crist
Und in Paintung scharf wie einMesser
(Es ist gekommen aus
Ich hab paintet nur Haus.)
Ich war auch ein Expert Treppichfresser.
--- Clifford Mortimer Crist
In der Hand seit das Gaol war sehr dampf.
Aber tief in mein Zell
Ich ~rbeitet' wie Holl
Und schreibe das KiassikMein Karnpf.
--- Clifford Mortimer Crist
Ein Post. das war gut aber heissig.
Ich und Freunde all' felt
"Morgen die ganze Welt,"
Eine Zukunft das scheinte sehr neissig.
--- Clifford Mortimer Crist
Und die Western Welt war gevext
Aber ich won den Krieg
Und wir shouteri Heil! Sieg!
Aber Gott gab mir nur einzig bad Czechs.
--- Clifford Mortimer Crist
Aber trustete ich Freunden kein moren.
Spazalalist in Huring
Ist gross General goring.
Ein andere hureman
--- Anon
Der bos' Esel Himmler.
Der stinkende Goebbels
Hat Ballen wie Pebbles.
Zum Tcefel mit Eichmann,
--- Anon
Denken Sic er sei Queer?
Ich hause Von Papen Und diplomatisch Krappin'.
Vielleicht der grossest Mess Ist der Maus, Doktor Hess --
Kein Wunder die Welt war verloren.
--- Anon
And played with the lad's fiddle-dee,
His little wood post.
Soon her jewel is lost
From the casket where it used to be.
--- L0802
Und spielt' mit dem Knableinmastchen,
Dem niedlichen Zweck--
Bald is der Kranz weg:
Blieb nichts davon nur das Kastchen.
--- L0801
Er zerre einmal seinen Schwanz.
Um sein mannliches Glied
Verband er ein Ried,
Nun also ficken er kanns.
--- L1720
Als hatt' er den Sphinx erblickt.
Wonnige Lust
Wallt' in der Brust.
Hochste Wollust ward sein' Pflicht.
--- Jim Jambor P9107
Qui magna hagebat genitalia.
Cum puella negabat
Coitum: copulabat
Elephantos aliaque animalia.
--- G1257
To offer you wealth you've not dreamt, or
Success with the gals.
Remember though, pals,
That Latin tag, caveat emptor.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Dissimilis et differunt.
Ad inguenem ictus?
Mulier est invictus!
At viri nimis sentiunt.
--- Anon
Found his dick turning into a cacti.
When His friends said "Who did it?"
He said, "I don't know yet,
But undoubtedly, Dux femina facti."
--- Anon
Qui hated his uxoris mater,
Cum leo her edit,
A holla he didit,
Et dixit, "Vale, Ma, till later."
--- Art of the Limerick P9207
Showed up at the track meet undressed.
When the girls ran away,
He was heard to say,
"Dum vita est, spes est."
--- Anon
Et Angliam totam lustravi.
Mihi prosit est omen
Quod Monarchus est nomen --
Reginam semper amavi!
--- Chairman Steve
I`d lighted up all of England.
I hope it is a good sign
That Monarch is my name --
I always did like the Queen!
--- Chairman Steve
(Except it's a little bit moister),
Mutatis mutandum
Non est disputandum,
There's no thrill in sex for the oyster.
--- Anon G1215
To comport oneself, I always say.
Trust in my acumen,
"E Pluribus Unum,"
Though you may not know, means, "Seize the day."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0105
Quam tigris in tergo vehebat;
Externa profecta
Interna revecta,
Sed risus cum tigre manebat.
--- Art of the Limerick P9211
Qui puellae nugas scribebat.
Amoribus inventis
Versubusque relictis,
Nunc Ipsitillam meridie amat.
--- Anon
Puellaria odit profanus
Semper optandus
Pueri sperandus
Gellifactur in siliis anus.
--- L0554
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