A fellow from far Erewhon, The man who I call Dr. A. A menial maid in Jakarta To Italy went Sinclair Lewis, The famed author A Solzhenitsyn A writer whose name was Steinbeck An ingenious person called Crockett (Crockett - Scottish novelist)
A prolific young writer of prose There once was the Deuce of a Peke April. Bad month. Visit spa. (On The Waste Land by T. S. Eliot)
An angst-ridden amorist, Fred, (On the 'Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock' by T. S. Eliot)
In dealing with time it is found (Burnt Norton by T. S. Eliot)
But Thomas wrote "Under Milk Wood", When I sit in the churchyard at Stoke, (on Eligy In A Country Churchyard by Thomas Gray)
In a book that I know, I hate Tess, Have you heard of Tolstoi's lovely niece, Turgenev, Ivan then Sergeyevich The man who wrote Vanity Fair A Civil War nurse, by name Walt, William Bailey, an author from Nome, "Political women", thought Yeats, Said Old Nick, "Mr. Lewis and me Mr Wells of the big cerebellum There once was a man named Lovecraft A cockney whose name was I. Asimov, About Isaac Asimov, I mention If I could be King for a day, There once was a King from Maine My favorite thriller, by far, Here in Maine, the long winters serene A writer of horror, Steven King, Stephen King's novel, "The Shining", King's latest flick is a winner;
This is file nym
He'll scare you right out of your wits Steven King is lying below; Steven King's now bit the dust, he Grandma's house was a frightening place where Erring writers, your plots I'd submerge in (Theodore Sturgeon - classic science fiction writer)
You remember the Artful Dodger? A gambler named Oliver Twist Dickens' villains, immense and intense, Fagin and Bumble, at the Advent, Christmas morning blazed brightly and then, Some of Dickens' folks had a strange bent Charles Dickens would likely agree, In anything written by Dickens, Charles Dickens wrote 'Tale of Two Cities," (A.J.L. - site on the internet Alt.Jokes.Limericks)
The title "A Tale of Two Cities", The Dickensian borough of Coketown I've not had a go yet at Dickens, Pip lived with his uncle, Joe Gargery, They'd send him off to an old biddy, And as he walks in with head bowed, This strumpet is named Esmeralda, Old Hathaway said "Are you able, (The old dance, for those too naive, But proud Esmeralda was coy. That young lad was what she desired, From then on it is quite a bore; 'Cause this character antipodean, He meets up again with Estelle, Now for once Dickens was so witty, So there in the end I have got, Dickens' Pip possessed one lasting trait. Pip is a friendly young guy In Dicken's gray world, joyous BLITHESOME
With girl students, did well, as a don.
"For an alpha", he said,
"A romp on the bed
Was almost a sine qua non."
--- W F N Watson
Is past master at love and at play.
At hugging and kissing --
(The remainder is missing
For I won't give my screts away.)
--- Isaac Asimov
Is getting progressively smarter.
She is studying Shaw
Transferred in her bra,
And a Bartlett's conveyed in her garter.
--- Anon
Documenting the life led by loose
American drunks,
But he unpacked his trunks,
'Cause Florence slipped him a goose.
--- L1608
Would never eat olives with pits in.
But one day someone said,
"You'd do better with red,"
Now he eats them with pimento bits in.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Wrote of the noble redneck.
Also of mice
And fish once or twice...
Or Hemingway did -- I'll go check.
--- Timothy Torkildson
Ascended to fame like a rocket.
His Minister (Stickit)
Was such a good trick, it
Expanded the publisher's pocket.
--- Punch 1902, Vol 122, p230
Could write elegant verse when he chose.
But he went quite insane
When the Public Domain
Stole his writing from under his nose!
--- Don Mulford
Whose 'emprise morale' was unique.
It wasn't his size
Made men open their eyes
But his Super-Celestial cheek!
--- Rudyard Kipling1933 P8903
Play chess. Meet too fecund Mamma.
Look on undismayed
While typist gets laid.
Jug Jug. Da. Damyata. Ta ta.
--- Stanley J Sharpless
Saw sartorial changes ahead.
His mind kept on ringing
With fishy girls singing.
Soft fruit also filled him with dread.
--- J Walker
That the future and past move around.
So the present is cast
In the future and past.
It seems we are breaking new ground.
--- V R Omerod
Which overall, ain't far from good.
Too much innuendo
Though, means at the end, oh
It don't make you hot as it should.
--- Q
I reflect - Class is merely a joke.
Elsewhere I can pass
As good upper class,
But here I'm just one of the folk.
--- A M Sayers.
Who is not found in Porgy and Bess.
The Lord of the Rings
Is a much better thing,
'Cause I think Thomas Hardy's a mess.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A delectable morsel named Lys?
Need I say more?
She was the War,
And Tolstoi was the one got the Piece.
--- Anon A
Never quite found his one little niche.
Love unrequited,
His homeland benighted...
But he did leave some tales that enrich.
--- Tutta Gioia
Had a young life in sad disrepair.
His inheritance lost,
His paintings a frost,
And a wife who went mad...so unfair!
--- TuttaGioia
Said, "It really isn't my fault.
In wartime, it's clear,
Those we stick in the rear,
Are the sick, and the lame, and the halt."
--- Anon
Wrote a book that has critics afoam.
Its content embraces
Society's graces --
Judged as naught but a fine couth tome.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9409
"Have come to the top of my hates."
His views rested on
His love for Maud Gonne,
Who wouldn't go out on his dates.
--- R K R Thorton
Is the best pals that ever was, see?
We both has our loyalties,
We both share the royalties.
I've a very warm corner for he!"
--- M Cassel
Used mountains of paper or vellum.
When his temper gets bad
And we ask "Why get mad?"
He replies "They won't do as I tell 'em."
--- Punch 1925 (Bibby)
Whose life was incredibly daft.
He knew every hex
But knew little of sex -
Did he know his poor fore from his aft?
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
Decided one day 'is pants to doff.
'E said, "The girls yawn
When I 'as 'em on,
But they whistle when I 'Asimov.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
An idea that leads to contention.
Is he really dead
Or has he gone ahead
On into another dimension?
--- Tom Patton P9806
I'd pick something more sweet to portray.
There'd be bunnies and fawns
Who frolic on lawns,
While ghouls use their heads for croquet.
--- Larry Hollister
Who wished to trade money for pain.
So he wrote down words
That tug at the nerves
And stories to drive you insane.
--- Ian Foster
Is "Christine", which was way above par.
Was this car re-possessed?
King, who wrote this blood-fest,
Should have called it "My Murder, da Car".
--- Larry Hollister
Turn to white everything that was green.
But a Christmas fest
Just makes me depressed.
How much longer till it's Halloween?
--- Anon
Would go on a rampage each spring.
He'd chase after a demon
Until it was screamin'
And then he's make love to the Thing.
--- Neal Wilgus P8205
Is a marvel of story designing.
Never once in this book
Does the man overlook
All the threads of his plot intertwining.
--- Larry Hollister
There's this fat guy who keeps getting thinner.
Even though it's a curse,
And it keeps getting worse,
He can eat Captain Crunch now for dinner.
--- Larry Hollister
With Creepshow and Carrie and Its.
But the really great thing
'Bout a novel by King,
Is how upright each strand of hair sits!
--- Larry Hollister
His heart rate has dropped beyond slow.
We're sure that he's dead,
But watch where you tread...
With this guy, you just never know.
--- Frank Fazed
Has started to smell very musty.
So now, here he lies
With the other dead guys.
He really is dead now, so trust me.
--- Arden
Mounting the dark and foreboding stair,
Leading to upper floors;
We heard moanings, low roars
And weird Stephen King waited there.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0204
(Though stylistically, blunders might burgeon);
I would not carp a bit
At the faults you commit,
If you only could flounder like Sturgeon.
--- Mark Grenier P8211
A well-hung little codger!
It's true, all right,
Because every bath night,
His Ma would pull him out by his todger!
--- Linda Longprong
Lost money while playing at whist.
He turned red in the face,
When they all trumped his ace.
Oh boy! Was he ever pissed!
--- William K Alsop Jr
Derived joy from each well planned offense.
Their deeds without remorse
Pointed a steady course
Which to Beelzebub would make sense.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0604
Knowing that there was cash to be spent
By both Clergy and Jackson,
They put into action
This advert, "Small boys for sale or rent."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0401
Old E Scrooge told a boy he'd a yen
To have him buy a bird
For B Cratchet. I've heard
E Scrooge never saw that lad again.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0501
For sowing seeds of discontent.
And then there were others
Exercising their 'druthers,
Quite sadistic and malevolent.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0604
And Chuzzlewit, too, would decree:
An ass sanctimonious,
Was one of the phoniest
Hypocrites ever we'll see.
--- Anon
It's certain the plot always thickens:
With characters, themes,
And digressions, it teems;
As for sex, though, it's mighty slim pickens.
--- Keith H Peterson
But mentioned not pussy nor titties.
I'm sure you'll concur
When I say I prefer
The bawdier A.J.L. ditties.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Tends to fill me with numerous pities.
If I had the pickin's
(Instead of Charles Dickens),
I'd call it "One Tail And Two Titties".
--- KS P0001A
Would get any sensitive bloke down;
The rigidly trad mind
Of rigid T. Gradgrind,
Is geared to make liberal folk frown.
--- Martin Fagg
But hang on now, don't count your chickens.
His Great Expectations
Is ripe for execrations.
Let's see now. Ah-ha!, the plot thickens.
--- Anon
And his aunt, who might well be named Marjorie.
The lad, in poor health
Used to play with himself,
So they thought, on the whole, by and largery...
--- Anon
Who fancied a nice young male kiddy,
Name of Anne Hathaway,
Who once had it away,
With Bill Shakespeare, until he got giddy.
--- Anon
He finds a young tart, oh so proud.
And she is too haughty
To do anything naughty,
Though by heaven she is well endowed.
--- Anon
Not 'Stella as Charlie D. tells ya.
She's been bred for one part,
Just to break poor men's hearts,
But Pip feels his dong growing harder.
--- Anon
Young Pip, to perform on the table?
You could pull down your pants
And do the old dance,
With Esme attached to your cable."
--- Anon
Is the one that the serpent showed Eve,
Thus she taught her young man
That there's plenty you can
Do well, once you've shed your fig leaves.)
--- Anon
She'd not soil herself with this boy.
So he grabbed the old crone,
And showed her his bone,
Which she took with the greatest of joy.
--- Anon
So she stripped of what she was attired.
But contact then came
'Twixt her dress and a flame,
Which in turn set the whole place afire.
--- Anon
Young Pip, who has started so poor,
One day in the marsh,
Meets an Aussie called Arch,
And ends up with wealth in great store.
--- Anon
Who fast from the law is now fleein',
Gets Pip a job,
Turns him into a snob,
A prig of a sub-human bein'.
--- Anon
In London town where both now dwell,
But Pip still can't prise
His dong 'twixt her thighs,
'Cause Quasi has now rung her bell.
--- Anon
And on Esme taking some pity,
A sequel he wrote,
'Bout the things 'neath her throat,
And he called it The Tale Of Two Titties.
--- Anon
Almost the whole way through the plot.
I hope Charlie D.
Won't be too hard on me,
When we meet in that place that's so hot.
--- Anon
He believed life depended on fate.
It was not as he'd thought.
Havisham furnished naught,
Although his expectations were great.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0305
Who gives an escapee meat pie.
Then he's off to the city --
A real snob (more's the pity).
Learns the truth; gets the girl, college try.
--- Arthur Deex P8409
Was limited to the rich lithesome.
While corners drizzly
Are filled with grisly
Scenes of grim reaper's tries to scythe some.
--- Daniel Ford