MORE
I know a young fellow of Vernon There was a young man from New York There once was a stupid filmmaker They called him The Gimlet of Gimli, A fluttering eyelash's guaranteed My eyes have gone weepy and blurry A sour-faced colonial named Hillary I sing of a lecher named Cruise: What's happened to my favorite toy; There once was an odious steward There was an old person of Florida, A young man, who fights bulls in La Paz, (easy breathing birth technique)
In the Spring a young man from Toledo My Sweetie's broad, strong, hairy chest, Dear Sisters, here's what I think: It took only one sultry glance I do not like spiders or snakes; I'm another who loves them and leaves them. I'm a wild girl, I tell no lie. Whenever I'm asked, "What's the trick My little brother Ben is no saint; You might be surprised that some guys A young man from the high Himalayas What is it that you like to do? I like to mingle with whores; It's grand to sit in the shade, I like to go without shirts; I like to make up rhymes; Someday I'll have to end Puff, buddy, we must be twins. You and me, bud, tell you what! A prevaricating fellow in Dallas, he A fellow who lives in Manhattan, A programmer delving in bytes A Frenchman by the name of Renaud My Charlie has not been around. He's off playing some sexy game. Remarked an old rounder named Lou, You've all heard of Solomon Grundy. On Tuesday he sucks his first nip On Wednesday the woe-begone lad On Thursday (at last all alone), On Friday he thinks he can't fail, On Saturday, knitting his brows Now Sunday; the end of the week. I never feel the need to brag "I need a man with a slow hand," There was an old man of Wyoming A young Italian stud named Adam Poor Peter is suffering from Priapism Concerning life's woes and its weals: Wailed overworkded loverboy, Juan, A nerdy young fellow named Dudly You sailors think you're all the rage, My work's not the world's greatest job, And if you're a goer in bed, But if you like to spend hours talkin', A conceited young man known as Rocky, Now I ain't the sort who is smart There is a young man they call Jay; There is a young student named Orme, There was an old lecher from Erie When all the girls flocked around Dave You're held in the highest esteem, I've painted myself mottled green; There was a young fellow named Mike
Who is seeking the ultimate turn-on;
He has not found it yet,
But I'm willing to bet
That he's having a ball while he's learnin'.
--- Keith MacMillan 102d
Whose morals were lighter than cork.
"Young chickens," said he,
"Have no terrors for me--
The bird that I fear is the stork!"
--- G2444
With the black heart of an undertaker.
No longer a lover,
Or significant other,
Just a mean sonofabitch heartbreaker.
--- Anon
From which you may comprehend dimly;
Girls ecstatically screamed
As he expertly reamed,
While their husbands just glared at him grimly.
--- John E Maywood
To make me start panting with need.
So while you just tease,
Remember this, please:
I'm planning on sowing my seed.
--- Anon
At the sight - and I'm getting all purry.
I'm wet in the pussy;
That stud is no wussy;
He can plant it in me in a hurry.
--- Anon
Always smelled like a well-used distillery.
For that, plus his urgin's
To deflower sweet virgins,
He was always found in the pillory.
--- Isaac Asimov
He's famed for the numbers he screws;
His women confide
They do love the ride,
And brag he's in all the Who's Who's.
--- Armand Singer
They one that all ways gives me joy;
The one with the tongue
Who is also well-hung;
That cute sweet Iowa farm boy?
--- Carol
Who dreamed of his women all skewered.
He'd advance on his prey
In his lecherous way,
Remembering to keep to the leeward.
--- Isaac Asimov
Whose conduct could not have been horrider.
At his hotel, the waiters,
He pelted with taters,
And the chambermaids kissed in the corrider!
--- Langford Reed
Has announced, to loud female applause,
"No vibrating gizmo
Can match my machismo,
So you'd better start learning La Maze."
--- Ward Hardman
Advertised he'd a rampant libido;
The girls by the score
Appeared at his door;
There ensued a libido stampedo!
--- Leokap
His cozy hugs that I like best;
His twinkling brown eyes,
His muscular thighs,
The rest of him when he's not dressed.
--- Marlene Lewis
All this news about the president's 'kink'
Makes one forget
There's a lot of guys yet,
Who are great, whatever they drink.
--- Annie Jay
At the bulge in the front of his pants,
For them both to conclude
That the north country dude
Was the stud for her summer romance.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0510Q
To love me, that ain't what it takes.
But give me sweet Jim,
His songs, and his ... him;
Give me the sweet music he makes.
--- Anon
In this case, I say "love" just to tease them.
They've heard it before,
Men lie by the "score",
But the women, they know. You can't please them.
--- Stephanie Smilay
I ball every night, you know why?
I've got a new date
And he's really great:
Mr Mushroom, a real fun guy.
--- Anon
To beating girls off with a stick?"
I say with a smile,
"You got to have style,
And not just a sizeable prick."
--- SFA
He makes all women swoon and faint.
He went to The Bahamas
And picked up some mamas,
But a monkey lover I hope he ain't!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Do not have to resort to lies.
I think what I feel
And express it for real,
While others are ruled by their flies.
--- Anon
Was the best of the sexual players.
At women's conventions,
His lustful attentions
Really pleased every girl on the dais.
--- Isaac Asimov
Well, for sure, we all like to screw.
But that little thing
That makes your bell ring;
Give me your point of view.
--- Puff Adder
I like to dress without drawers.
Drive fast cars,
Snap women's bras.
I like to piss outdoors.
--- Puff Adder
Leave all my bills unpaid.
Over coffee linger,
Give people the finger,
Get caught in a gambling raid.
--- Puff Adder
Have fingernails full of dirt.
Go out to eat
In my bare feet.
Peek up women's skirts.
--- Puff Adder
Show up at all the wrong times.
Cause lots of stress;
Just be a pest.
Tip snooty waiters a dime.
--- Puff Adder
This self-destructive trend.
It's made me discover,
I can't find a lover.
Hell, I can even find a friend.
--- Puff Adder
I read your list -- got me some grins.
It seem we're alike,
Right down to the psych.
And hung, of course, like zeppelins.
--- H Welchel
We can be rude and rhyme smut.
Perhaps we should hang,
And chase us some tang,
And fuck us a cheap gooey slut.
--- H Welchel
Exaggerates his sexual capacity.
His stories we don't buy;
It's an out and out lie,
But let us just call it a phallus-y.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0406
Loves girls who wear nothing but satin,
And beautiful ladies
Who drove new Mercedes;
I wonder if he's really Latin.
--- Norm Storer
This is file nyl
Switched to women on Saturday nights,
When he nibbled their tits
And analysed bits,
And quickly got into their tights.
--- Anon
Knows sex from the words "come and go";
This guy's a Don Juan,
A true paragon;
Not just some apprenctice -- a pro!
--- Armand Singer
I think it's because he has found
Some hot little miss
That he'd rather kiss.
'But, I'll get him back on rebound.
--- Anon
And all his excuses are lame:
"I've come into Money!"
But I think it's funny,
His girlfriend has such an odd name.
--- Anon
"There's something I sense about you;
I am sure we once had
An affair in my pad:
A feeling I'd call 'deja screw'."
--- Armand E Singer 711
Indeed he was born on a Monday;
But shall we find out
If the lights all went out
On the Saturday evening or Sunday?
--- Anon
And his Oedipus Complex takes grip;
But he finds that his Pampers
(Quite rightly too) hampers
The vertical thrust of his tip.
--- Anon
Ends the day with a pain in his 'nad;
For his sweet little sister
Insisted he kissed 'er,
Then laughed at the swelling he had.
--- Anon
He wakes up with a throbbing great bone;
So he throws off the sheet
To take care of his meat,
But then in walks his Great Auntie Joan.
--- Anon
When he visits young prostitute Gale.
As he quivers with lust,
Come the cops; "It's a bust!"
They say, dragging her off to the jail.
--- Anon
At the thought of both chickens and cows
And his pet poodle pup,
He decides to give up
And makes serious celibate vows.
--- Anon
There he is in a monastery bleak,
Where the Sisters of Mercy
Attend to his percy,
And polish his knob-end of teak.
--- Anon
(To do so would cause me to gag).
I've no need to wank,
To stiffen my plank;
I'm much better off with a shag.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And easy touch wearing my brand.
His nook and his cranny;
His firm, sexy fanny,
Will just send me off to dreamland.
--- Anon
Who was very much given to roaming.
He had but to pass
Just any old lass,
To run after her, snorting and foaming.
--- Isaac Asimov
Enquired of every young madam,
"Don't you think I am grand?
Can you lend me ten rand?
Then you can dream of me ad infinitum."
--- Jessie Gunnard
And huge quantities of jism.
He is undoubtably sore
But his "muffers" want more
And keep usin' and usin' and usin' 'im.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The women who know how it feels
To be used, and then left
Forlorn and bereft,
Should remember that time wounds all heels.
--- Sam Chen
"I can't take too many more on.
Excessive exertion,
Much less full immersion,
Could prove the last song for this swan."
--- Armand E Singer 319
Was seen by the girls as just cuddly.
But his thong left no doubt
For the truth stuck right out.
They hollered, "Oh Dudley, you're studly!"
--- Irene Livingston
But I am quite good for my age.
I'm quick in the riggin'
And my dinghy's a big 'un,
For it took two lads to haul it on stage!
--- Garold Amadon
But I have a reliable knob.
And nutfulls of juice
Which I'll gladly let loose
In your pussy, caboose, or your gob.
--- Loz
I'll prove that romance isn't dead,
By giving you flowers
For every two hours
That you spend on giving me head.
--- Loz
Or goin' to beaches and walkin',
Then do all that crap
With some other chap,
Then drop 'round after that for a fockin'.
--- Loz
Though quite unattractive and stocky,
Pleased all of the women --
Really left their heads swimmin',
And that was what made him so cocky.
--- Anon
In book-larnin', music or art.
But in my defense,
My good common sense
With gals spreads their damn legs apart.
--- Travis Brasell
About whom the girls say "Wahey!".
Then they go Wow!
And then they ask how
To get him in bed for a lay.
--- Sir Jaylad
Around whom all the girl students swarm.
He's reputed wealthy.
This attraction's not healthy;
It's the riot before the brainstorm!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Who said, "In response to your query,
As to whether I'm bored
Having so often scored --
It's the women get bored; I get weary."
--- Isaac Asimov
One day, he became rather grave.
"I don't know," he confessed,
"Whether it's my red vest,
My moustache, or my new aftershave."
--- A N Wilkins P8405
By all of us girlies who deem,
That you prefer whores,
Or lepers with sores,
Or livestock from your own ranch team.
--- Anon
When I'm still, I cannot be seen.
It is now the job
Of you and your knob
To be a cunt detect machine.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who, after a twenty-mile hike,
Could still manage to hurl
Himself at a girl.
That's the kind of a guy women like.
--- Isaac Asimov
MORE