A sweet little girl from the choir An elephant by the name Ritter There was an old Hindu mahout, Quoth a frozen Siberian mammoth: To some, leaving India is dreadable: High up on her rump, red with heat, There's a girl at the zoo in the Bronx An elephant married a skunk; A serious thought for today, A bestial fellow named Cabel A ranchero in old Monterrey A venerable Indian Rajah Belinda goes through a new phase After drinking a full fifth of bourbon, With one certain horse called Nugget, Seeking work as a stable assistant, An equiphile, swollen with lust, Two pretty young things named Mahony, Said the smelly old stableman, Morse, There once was a boy quite pedestrian, A Texas man, hung like a horse, Of all of the women I've seen, Though I plunder the barnyard each day, Though I've tried it myself, I'll admit Well, aren't you the insolent blighter, Well you see, there's your very mistake; So, as we can all plainly see, South Cave, once so famous for fairs, There once was a cowboy who found A horny old blacksmith named Norse, The children adore Auntie Mable An impotent man of Twin Falls A peculiar old man from the slums
This is file nwk
An estrous mare winked at the teaser, There is nothing wrong with equine, When O'Malley came courtin' from Cooley, One lass in the bunch was named Sallie; Her act filled O'Malley with pride, "His obsession," thought Sallie, "will pass." Then one night with a plan in her head, "Hey Timmy, I want a divorce; While shooting some fish in a barrel, The young girl said she didn't care A sailor boy, tall and banal, (mews - secret place)
A horny, old knight named, Sir Morse Of course, I should really have known, And your list of sex options is richer. Jingle bells, as we ride on our sleigh; An old man I knew with white hair, Said the horse, who was almost in tears, A young stable hand name of Robin This group has long been a source No wonder your hair's turning grey. A fearless young cowboy named Morse, A fearless young cowboy was Morse; It seems a liaison equine For steamy hot sex, you should oil her You lube yourself up too, of course; You lay her down on a high beam, A cowboy when filled with strong beer A Spanish queen watched from her mirador, In the movie, the cowboy named Brady There was a young farmer named Morse, Well, here we both are in the hay, A young lady known for her vigor, A donkey is not a bad choice,
For an elephant's love did aspire.
One night at the zoo
She accepted his woo,
And sailed higher and higher and higher!
--- Actaeon
Was quite a prodigious critter.
After walking a mile
He would fuck doggie-style,
All the people who sat in the litter.
--- Anon
Who said, "What's all this blithering about?
Why I have shot spunk,
Up an elephant's trunk."
Cries of "Shame!", "Kick his ass!", "Throw him out!"
--- L0514
"What's that up my backside you crammeth?
My thick wooly pelt
Won't preserve me from melt,
From heat of the wand that thou rammeth!"
--- Hugh Clary
"Such elephants! I simply must get a bull!
Nothing gets me harder
Than a blowjob in Djarkarta,
For an elephant's trunk is incredible."
--- Actaeon
With his cock in an elephant, Pete,
Said, "I like to shoot sperm
In this hot pachyderm,
Which I've done twice this week -- what a treat!"
--- G1251
With a liking for lions and monx.
And she rather goes ape
For a species of rape
That involves all the elephant's tronx.
--- Keith MacMillan A084B
His penis he put where it stunk.
She then said, "Big Boy!
You have such a small toy;
How about filling me up with your trunk!"
--- Travis Brasell
Is one that may cause you dismay.
Just what are the forces,
That bring little horses,
If all big horses say is "Nay" ?
--- Anon
Screwed horses whenever he was able.
But alas and alack,
While riding bareback,
He was kicked through the wall of the stable!
--- John Chastaine
Put his mares in a family way.
His offspring, thus sired,
Were so widely admired,
Their young run the state to this day.
--- Ray A Billington
Once decreed that all cunts should be larger.
And, until this was done,
That he'd have his fun
With the arse of his favorite charger.
--- G1306
Whenever beset by malaise:
Last week, she was able
To visit a stable
Where she found much comfort in neighs.
--- Norm Storer
A zoo drove his brand new Suburban
To a horse farm where he
Put his rod in a she,
Who enveloped his head like a turban.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Alan Strang does far more than hug it.
In the dark they will ride,
Bare flesh against hide;
Though his nature prompts doctors to drug it.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A pervert faced the owner's insistence.
"All the openings," she trilled,
"Have already been filled."
"Not yet," murmured he, his gaze distant.
--- Actaeon
Hugged his mare, whom he'd learned he could trust.
When he fondled her udder,
He heard the mare mutter:
"I'm a cop, buddy. This is a bust!"
--- Actaeon
Once tickled a horse's baloney.
With a spurt and a splash,
They fell with a crash,
And no one knew which had the Toni.
--- Anon
"There's a place for young ladies, of course --
Not in bed, I declare,
For they'll never compare
To inserting a cock in a horse."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1166
That wanted to be an equestrian.
But the horse up and said
"No, boy, I'll ride instead;
Now bend, while I jockey my sex-tree in!"
--- Anon
Would come with incredible force.
Girls wet their brassieres
And wept milky tears,
Not knowing his 'horse' was the source.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The nastiest of them has been
Quite contrary,
And very hairy,
Like her only friends, the equine.
--- Big Don
I was never a rapist -- no way!
Which explains why, of course,
I can't bugger a horse,
'Cause they always look back and say "neigh!"
--- Loz
To force phallus and kit in horse shit,
Though they act quite offended
When being rear-ended,
With a knicker and whinney, they submit.
--- Mikey
To continue your rootin' despite her
Complaints that your knob
Is too small for the job.
Do you use your kit, too, 'cause it's tighter?
--- Loz
I was serving the scag up the cake.
While a cunt can't permit
My whole tackle to fit,
His ass loved the old trouser snake.
--- Mikey
(And you didn't just hear this from me,)
Though it's bum-ended tender,
You've mistaken it's gender;
What you thought was a she, was a HE!
--- Mikey
Had problems with stallions and mares.
These amorous beasts
Added spice to the feasts
With mounting and mating in pairs.
--- Howard Peach P9006
He and his filly aground.
She asked, "Do you screw?"
He said, "Oh no, thank you.
I prefer just horsing around!"
--- J Murphy
Fell madly in love with his horse.
Asked if it was a mare,
Said, "I don't really care.
But it would make a difference, of course."
--- Frank Ward P9309
Who molests every one when she's able.
When she tires of these,
She's easy to please,
Finding solace out back in the stable.
--- John Miller
Was treated for racehorses balls,
Which so cured his weakness,
He entered the Preakness,
And screwed all the mares in their stalls.
--- Hugh Oliver A041B
To the charms of a donkey succumbs.
But it fair grinds him down
To run so far 'round,
To kiss the dear beast when he comes.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Who wanted so badly to please her.
But before they could play,
He was taken away.
She got laid by a vial from the freezer.
--- Actaeon
The young lady from Paris did whine;
For only a ninny
Would bypass a whinny,
With appendage too large to define.
--- Kathi Webster
His manners were course and unruly.
The girls with big tits
Just gave him the fits,
And he fondled them all so unduly.
--- Anon
She had the biggest breasts in the valley.
And so to be courted,
She quickly resorted
To flaunting her tits to O'Malley!
--- Anon
So he made this bold lass his bride.
But soon after they'd wed,
Sallie had reason to dread,
For on her ass O'Malley took stride!
--- Anon
But O'Malley's lust was pure crass,
For her ass he was hot,
And her breast he forgot;
Made his bride to become a sad lass.
--- Anon
Sallie left O'Malley sleeping in bed,
Wrapped a gun in her shawl,
Walked out to the stall,
And shot her ass 'til it was dead!
--- Anon
I've fallen in love with a horse.
Your dick is so small,
I can't feel it at all,
And I need to be fuckled with force."
--- Anon
Jake thought, "Maybe my gray mare'll
Be ready to trot;
However, if not,
Then maybe old 'twat-to-trot Carol!'
--- Travis Brasell
That her boyfriend had diddled a mare.
In fact, she was of
The opinion that love
Was an asset that prospered when shared.
--- Actaeon
Met up with a femme fatale.
Though he tried every ruse
She denied him her mews --
She preferred a menage a cheval.
--- G1183
Was disliked by the maidens, of course.
So he pulled down his pants,
And he whipped out his lance,
And proceeded to then mount his horse.
--- K C Morrill P0302
Mister Ed was the one you would bone.
And it's not a bad thing;
Hell, they've all got a ring,
But the females cry when you don't phone.
--- Loz
If a stallion offers to fit ya,
You can get on your knees
And play catch, if you please,
When it's Mr Ed's turn as a pitcher.
--- Loz
Jingle bells, as our horse gives a neigh.
But the stallion don't care
'Bout the "nay" from our mare,
So he'll have the best time today!
--- Anon
Once told me that he just might dare
To sneak to his stable
And leave his wife Mable
Asleep while he had his night mare.
--- Travis Brasell
To the cowboy who herded the steers:
"I beg of you, mate,
If you must masturbate,
Please try not to come in my ears."
--- G1333
Damned near met his end in a mobbin';
He was caught by the crowd
Screaming, "That's not allowed:
We don't stick our tools in old Dobbin."
--- Armand E Singer 673
Of beastiality stories (how coarse!).
I won't stick my knob in
Just any old Dobbin,
Though I'm known for cavorting with whores.
--- Irish
It seems like that gal's eating hay.
I beg you take care;
Don't mess with that mare.
One day she may blow you away.
--- Anon
Said women were vulgar and coarse.
He said he couln't care less
For a woman's caress,
He just simply went off on his horse.
--- Albin Chaplin
For women he had no discourse.
He cared not a whit
For a cunt or a tit,
He simply went off on his horse.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1167
Would not be a choice of mine;
Mating, of course
With an well-hung horse.
If a filly, would be quite divine
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And then take her up to the boiler.
To make her well sexed
What do you do next?
(Scroll down just a bit for the spoiler)
--- Anon
Then show that fine mare who is boss.
Just use this technique,
It'll make her knees weak,
No need to be hung like a horse
--- Anon
And pump her 'til she starts to scream.
Just when it gets ripe,
You retract your pipe,
And vent it, releasing some steam.
--- Anon
Loved to rodger his horse from the rear.
When asked if he'd care
If it wasn't a mare,
Said, "Of course I would care, I'm not queer!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And saw the return of the matador.
It was not the senor
Who made her heart soar,
But the horse, who could ruffle her pinafore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Would look with disdain on Miss Sadie.
As we all are aware
He went off on his mare,
Which is what he preferred to a lady.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1122
Who fell madly in love with his horse.
Said his wife, "You rapscallion,
That horse is a stallion!
This constitutes grounds for divorce!"
--- Anon L0605
And I'm dying to have a good lay,
For a red-blooded male
Likes a nice bit of tail--
But this one has fur and says "neigh"!
--- Michael Horgan
Searched for a penis that's bigger.
But her quest was for naught,
For one day she was caught
Trying to screw a stuffed horse named Trigger!
--- Sam Pittman TP9806
But I do prefer women, of course.
Though when none are found,
I simply go 'round
To the barn, to search for a horse.
--- Lars