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Philadelphia: Man caught with a horse: There was a horse fancier Adair; There was a young man of Adair, I used to think zoos were perverted The Algonquian Indian Sagamore A mare quite enjoyed being fingered, She answered to his beck and call; It's bad to fall hard for a horse A young man in love with his horse Tom, 'A' mare just ain't near as thrillin' When the crowd saw a fellow from Dilly Such passion! Such love for the horse (man dies during sex with horse - supposed headline)
The mare milked Joe's dick till it hurt, There once was a man from Caerphilly Just go to your old horse's stall, No WOWSER was our red neck Willie, A Muslim, just new to the force There's many a miner would bust a The mule wanted love right away, There was an old hostler named Rains, A muscular Turk of Stamboul, A man climbed a tall milking stool, There was a horse trader named Benny A sturdy young fellow named Dwight Bestiality's the ultimate sleeze, One time I was muffin' the Mule; There is a lady who you'll Said a man with a turbulent penis: The miner, it seems, undertook Clem said to his wife, "Use this jelly -- A dude down Colombia way, Well, I used to think it was cool My last with a mule, was a farce. There was a young fellow named Tony There was a young fellow who fell in The European Union's no soul! That randy young stable hand Shoney Their once was an ass named Bun, There was a spoiled girl named Toni, If you're horny, you needn't despair She and the pony were lovers. An Indian chief, a Shoshoni, (only fools and indians ride a paint)
Billy was driving his tractor; The miniature horse was a-snorting A farmer's young daughter called Nick Too often young girls are sallyin' A cavernous cutie named Miller, Since men were disturbing to Marge, There once was a clergyman's daughter, She married a fellow named Tony, A slapper, a pro and a honky, A young girl undressed on a hill, A shetland, I've heard's, a small horse, A stallion looked out of his stall There was a young man of King's Cross, A farm girl was tilling her field, A horse-loving lady named Dove The Black Stallion and Alec would play A lady looked 'round with a shiver, A faggot who called himself Abel An equestrienne Master of fame An Empress called Catherine the Great The horse's magnificent pizzle Sixty-seven was the end of the line, The thought of her twat by his muzzle Horses to nibble are apt;
His wife quickly files for divorce.
He does not dispute
The grounds for her suit:
"Infidelity in filly," of course!
--- John Miller 0152
His love with his horse he did share.
Now he wasn't a queer
As at first may appear,
For the horse that he loved was a mare.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1118
Who thought he would diddle a mare.
He climbed up on a ladder
And jolly well had her,
With his backside a-wave in the air.
--- L0574
But was by a nice mare, converted.
Her smooth pussy walls
Drained both of my balls
And squeezed on my dick till it hurted.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Grew old, yet remained a strict bachelor.
He was loved and respected;
They never suspected
The chief's favorite mare was his paramour.
--- Actaeon
And licked as a man cunniling'ed her.
He buried his face,
And got a good taste,
Of what makes a mare such a zinger.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When he mounted her she gave her all.
She did all that he asked;
In contentment he basked;
Then he led the mare back to her stall.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
(That matter of quick intercourse);
You would need a stepladder
To get close up and at her,
While shoving with all of your force.
--- Armand Singer
Found bestiality an irresistible force.
When asked "Do you care
If it's stallion or mare?"
Replied , "A mare - I'm not gay, of course!"
--- Anon
As two mares or three for my fillin';
I'll tell ya the truth,
When I was a youth,
Four fillies I'd do that were willin'.
--- Anon
Compromised with a horse, he felt silly.
Lest the onlookers posit,
He was stuck in the closet,
He assured them, the horse was a filly.
--- Robert Elliot
As to die for in hot intercourse.
But let's not get silly;
The horse was a filly;
This fellow was not queer, of course.
--- John Miller
Yet she wouldn't stop playing the flirt.
She pinned the man down,
Moved her horny ass 'round,
And got herself off on his shirt.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who liked, in the barn, to get silly.
With horses and sheep
He uttered a peep,
But he yelled when it came to the filly.
--- Lims For Year - 01
(Leave all the tack hung on the wall,)
Then lift up her tail,
And stand on a pail,
And go give that filly your all.
--- Anon
Though most thought his morals quite silly.
"No sex" he'd define
Not like yours and mine,
As healthy fine fun with a filly.
--- Chris Papa
Was caught making love to his horse.
"Don't think me a fool
For screwing my mule;
I'm horny, but not gay, of course."
--- Tom Allen
Gut, as he seeks, for his lust, a
Mule for the trail,
Or a lift on the rail
To the whore-pits of Antofagusta.
--- Anon
So he sniffed through a big bale of hay.
When he found an old ass,
He bent to his task,
Making the poor gardener bray.
--- Heather McCabe
Possessed of more ballocks than brains.
He stood on a stool
To bugger a mule,
And got kicked in the balls for his pains.
--- L0633
Tried to screw a recalcitrant mule.
He climbed on a haystack,
Overlooking a racetrack,
And dived in all covered with drool.
--- L1734
To ram his long horn in a mule.
But just as he started,
The animal farted
And blew all the gas up his tool.
--- G1331
Who traded his wife for a jenny,
That no louder did bray,
And she made a good lay,
And he claimed that she cost not a penny.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1121
Was known for his sexual might.
Once, playing the fool,
He buggered a mule
And the ass kicked his ass. Served him right.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Making donkey's weak at the knees.
Is sicked and perverted;
My eyes are averted
To avoid seeing the mules that you please.
--- Anon
I'd heard they like plenty of tool.
I went in so deep,
My tool went to sleep;
Now I just use the tip, as a rule.
--- Anon
See sucking the tool of a mule.
When the mule does bray,
She had best get away,
Or she'll gag on a pool of its spewle.
--- Speckle Bird TP9901
"I wish the whole world could have seen us.
For I stood on a stool
And buggered a mule
And created a whole brand-new Genus."
--- G1299
To fucking his mule by the brook.
He said, "Bless my hide;
I'd make her my bride,
If only she knew how to cook."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1182
Just smear it around where you're smelly;
Then use this vibrator
And I'll see you later --
Just after I've screwed my mule Nelly."
--- Travis Brasell
With wrinkled old mules, like to play.
"You carry my stash,
And I pay you in cash,
But when you come, please do not bray!"
--- Marlene Lewis
To pack me an oversized tool.
But Nellie complained
About how it pained,
So now I just water my mule.
--- Frank
"Again?" I asked. She said "I'll pass."
It's not that I mind
Getting reamed from behind,
But you're just a pain in the ass."
--- Loz
This is file nuk
Who once tried to bugger a pony,
Which he blithely confessed
He preferred to Miss West--
A statement I think is baloney.
--- G1338
An affair with and old whore named Helen.
And now his prick itches
For all kinds of bitches,
Or even a burro to swell in.
--- G0585
They won't let you lick from the bowl.
Or weigh by the pound
Or piss on the ground;
I can't even fuck my new foal.
--- Archie
Examined his thing, stiff and bony;
Full-flushed with romance,
He lowered his pants
And buggered his favorite pony.
--- Armand E Singer 698
Who mounted his missus for fun.
With a grunt and a roar
And several pumps more,
He filled up his missus with come.
--- Anon
Whose parents had bought her a pony.
They would not have suspected
That her love, unaffected,
Was the pony was giving her bony.
--- Kevin
If you can find yourself a willing mare.
Just get under her tail
And you'll find without fail,
The best pony ride anywhere.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She diddled him under the covers.
When the stud came,
She call him by name,
And his gratitude sailed high above her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was interested in matrimony.
He could not find a bride
He wanted to ride,
So he married his spotted pony.
--- Thomas Patton
Said, "Sex isn't really a factor.
Whenever I'm lonely,
I dress up a pony,
Thanks to Maybelline and to Max Factor."
--- Anon
Round standard-size mares and cavorting.
"Could you girls please
Get down on your knees,
While logistics of this, I'm assorting?"
--- Marsha Magee
Bought a "My Little Pony" called Dick.
She watered and fed
It and took it to bed,
Where she played with it's dear little prick.
--- Anon
To pastures, and there they're a-dallyin'
With ponies; this action
Gives dissatisfaction,
'Cause men can't compete with a stallion.
--- Anon
Finds very few fellows can thrill her.
So she goes for a pony
With a big pink baloney;
Too bad for the chaps that can't fill her.
--- Grand Prix Lim 869 G1282
She lived all alone on a barge,
In pure sanctimony,
With naught but a pony,
But they say that his pecker was large.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1162
Who detested the pony he bought her.
'Till she found that its dong
Was as hard and as long
As the prayers her father had taught her.
--- L0591
Who soon found her fucking the pony.
Said he, "What's it got,
My dear, that I've not?"
Sighed she, "Just a yard-long bologna."
--- L0592
Took turns on the cock of a donkey.
For hours they would glide,
A wet sticky ride,
Now their legs and their knees are so wonky.
--- Anon
Hugging horses to ward off the chill.
One big Shetland pony
Called out to his crony
And together they gave her a thrill.
--- Actaeon
And I'm just assumin', of course,
That though, you say it's ewes
You'd prefer to abuse,
You'll take either creature by force?
--- Anon
At all the hot mares down the hall.
If it weren't for the doors,
He'd have opened their pores
And ensured that they'd all had a ball.
--- Actaeon
Who amused himself frigging a horse.
Then, licking the spend,
Which still dripped from the end,
Said, "It tastes just like anchovy sauce."
--- L0780
But her plow horse was slowing her yield.
To urge the stud forward,
She'd strut like a whore would,
And flash her slit 'til the horse squealed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Met a stallion who gave her a shove.
She lubed up her hands,
Massaged the stud's glans,
And was bathed head to toe with his love.
--- Actaeon
With each other's members all day.
Alone on the beach
With no females in reach,
These two horny guys castaway.
--- Actaeon
As a stallion's rod started to quiver.
She went down on her knees,
Used her tongue as a tease,
And his semen flowed out like a river.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Went cruising one day in a stable.
A stud of a horse
Fucked his ass with such force,
That his bowels blew out of his navel.
--- H Whelchel
Taught her stallion a wonderful game.
Bare-bellied she'd hang,
Accept his long wang,
And canter until they both came.
--- Dick Buenger P9006
With horses her libido would sate.
But one fateful day
While having her way,
She was killed by her own equine date.
--- Donald McGill
Made Catherine's temperature sizzle.
But, while she was rapt,
His harness unsnapped;
Quite crushed, she expired with a fizzle.
--- Randog
Though she said she'd been feeling just fine,
And that it was no joke
When that harness broke,
'Cause she wanted to make sixty-nine!
--- Donald McGill
In hopes that those horse lips would nuzzle
Her old greying nest,
Is quite nasty at best,
Not to mention the spunk she would guzzle.
--- Randog
Grass proffered by ladies unwrapped
And the grass on her green,
Though grey and obscene,
Would surely soon have zapped.
--- Donald McGill
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