His hooves on the gravel did crunch The equine love given to Kate, I'm suing my wife for divorce, A cavalryman named Ed Barger, "My stallions? Why, yes, I'd just gotten 'em." There once was a horny Italian, On Sunday's at noon, Cousin Bea An equestrian nympho named Bobbie Lizzie, I'm told by my source, There once was a cowboy named Tex A faggot who called himself Abel A woman at Churchills Downs course Good Lord! He is hung like a horse; A fine kitty lady named Tabby, A poor fellow strained his right wrist A lady who loved a thick wang, A bestial lady of Whitehorse A horse-loving girl name of Doris A vixen, long, lithe, blonde, and Norse, The beast reamed her hard with his rod, There was a young lady from Ayr While Caroline sat smoking some weed, Mr Ed, as we Yanks know, of course, She replied, "Let's give it a whirl!" The starlet was caught giving head There was a young farm girl, most coarse, (KY jelly - lubricant)
"I want" said the widow Gert Orso, The wife of old Samuel Morse, "I see that you've spilled your 'white sauce' "It's clear you've been whoring, sweet dame." The mounted policeman named Morse, In the sixties, in a Playboy mag, One day in the stable with Claire,
This is file ntk
And so it was, on her return, And when it was time for her service, A horse of a different colour I once met the young Lady Leed An old racehorse they gave at the track There isn't a choosier lay You see that lady named Angel? Says my little one, "Please make a ditty There's lots of thing rhyming with "kitty", While visiting Sal in the city, At the jail, the boys formed a committee, Said the girl, "Just look at my kitty! Let's all take a moment to pity Could it be that guy, Walter Mitty, In search of exotic diversion, There was a strange man from Zabat, I've been keeping this under my hat, I once knew a fellow called Scotty, The Mahatma on Mt. Himavat, A cat must be fast on his feet When Father John wanted a screw, When fucking a cat that is dead No nooky can make me right crabby, The tabby let out such a screech I have on my knee a knee-sitter; And now her pussy's all agape; Some duct tape I have, but you're sick; I've got a big cat called Ginge; In the streets down below we hear cries A zookeeper fingered a horny cat; My Siamese is called Juicy Jill; Though praises of cats have been sung, There was a young lad of the Nile, Reviewing his sex memory banks, (no tail)
While galloping over to munch
On Her Royal Highness,
Who thought it a minus
When stallions were tardy for lunch.
--- Randog
Who's known by the moniker, "Great",
Was so oversized,
His meat, it's surmised
Split open this impaled head of state.
--- Randog
Since she had an affair with a horse.
I walked in one day,
There's this dappled grey --
He was chatting her up in old Norse.
--- Kevin Hale Q
Once had an affair with his charger.
He fondled its dong,
Which was exceedingly long,
And steadily grew larger and larger.
--- Pat McGregor
"Well," said her doc, "you're too hot on 'em.
From the fluids inside you,
It seems that they ride you,
And together, they filled your duodenum."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who fell madly in love with her stallion.
She sucked on its penis
With the passion of Venus,
And the horse filled her throat without dallyin'.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Suspended herself from a tree.
An admirably formed
Stallion performed
The unspeakable act until three.
--- Gents Alphabet Book P9611
Has a mount with an organ quite knobby.
What began as a whim -
Feeling knobs on her quim -
Has developed; that horse is her hobby!
--- Playboy Mag J F O'Conner
Has had intercourse with a horse.
Her husband named Bernie
Has seen an attorney,
And was told he has grounds for divorce.
--- Ogden Nield
Who was hungup on bestial sex.
But this deviate creep
Spurned heifers and sheep
For the love of a horse, name of Rex.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8710
Went cruising on day in a stable.
A stud of a horse
Fucked his ass with such force,
That his bowels blew out of his navel.
--- H Welchel
Espied an excited young horse.
After closer inspection
Of the horse's erection,
She shouted, "I want a divorce!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0502
Exuding such masculine force!
I wish you could see
What's enthralling me --
It's some farmer's stallion, of course.
--- Anon
Thinks stallion spooge isn't too shabby.
She crawls underneath,
And fondles one's sheath,
Until she is dripping; he, flabby.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Because he just could not resist
Masturbating his horse,
Which bolted, of course.
He hung on, shouting "Whoa, I insist!"
--- Prof M-G
Once rented a horse for a bang.
The bronc kicked her head,
And when she was dead,
He ripped a huge rent in her tang.
--- H Welchel
Spent a lifetime in search of the right horse;
"When I want to," she said,
"Take a stallion to bed,
On the whole, I'd prefer a quite light horse."
--- Keith MacMillan 112b
Was wooed out in Naples by Boris.
"I don't like Italians;
I much prefer stallions",
Doris said, stroking her Horace.
--- Anon
Decided to mount a young horse.
But spurning a ride,
He showed her his pride.
Ms. Norse said, "Dear Horse, but of course!"
--- H Welchel
Inciting sweet dreams of "Dear God!"
She swore then and there,
She'd always ride bare,
And see her fine stallion well-shod.
--- H Welchel
Who remarked, "There is naught to compare
With the size and the force
And the thrust of a horse,
As it buggers my sweet derriere."
--- Peter Wilkins
She was overcome by the need
To bring to her bed
Someone she called Ed,
Who happened to be a large steed.
--- Captain Chaos
Is a very articulate horse.
He said, "Caroline,
Let's have a sweet time --
I'll give you my dick with much force.
--- Captain Chaos
His sweet pounding made her hair curl.
So now you have heard
From this little bird,
Of a horse that went riding a girl.
--- Captain Chaos
To the TV star back of the shed.
Her fate was determined,
When the star she was spermin',
Turned out to be Mr. Ed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Who liked being fucked by her horse.
One day when he filled her,
His mammoth schlong killed her,
"No KY," he cried with remorse.
--- Pete Fintschenko
"To purchase your finest stud horse, so
I'll have me a male
Who can, without fail,
Fill me up when he plugs up my torso.
--- Travis Brasell
She too, bought herself a stud horse.
Quite dashing and dotty,
Got keyed up real potty,
She didit, she didit, of course.
--- Tiddy Ogg
All over your mothers twat moss.
I've taught you quite well!"
"You've taught me? Like Hell!
I learnt watchin' mom fuck our hoss!
--- Travis Brasell
That's nonsense, my husband-so-lame!"
"Then what is this squirt
Of spunk on your skirt?"
"Why, only old Dobbin's poor aim."
--- Anon
Every evening had sex with his horse.
Said commissioner Maillon,
"Your horse is a stallion.
You're the queerest old cop on the force."
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0205
Was cartoon of a sagging, nude hag,
REPINING lost youth;
Still seeking, forsooth,
A reprise with a stallion or nag.
--- Elois
(My stallion was serving her mare)
She suddenly blushed
And breathlessly gushed:
"I'm nipping outside for some air!"
--- SFA
That passions had started to burn.
She fell to her knees
Beseeching me: "Please!
Go tell your damned horse, it's my turn!"
--- SFA
She wasn't a tiny bit nervous.
After taking a pounding,
She said, nicely sounding,
"Next week, this fine stud, please reserve us!"
--- Ward Hardman
Would no longer trick 'er and lull 'er
To stuporous fancies.
He just raids her pants. E-
Ven still, this gal couldn't be duller.
Who rode a magnificent steed.
"He gallops and trots,
And it gives me the hots.
In the morning I still taste his seed."
--- Anon
Some Viagra and then a sharp whack.
He became most intense
As he jumped o'er the fence
Then he ran off and never came back.
--- Tom Patton P0510Q
Than Lucy at U.C.L.A.
Just once when a horse
Subdued her by force,
Was she willing to go all the way.
--- Hugh Oliver A130B
She frequently, out on the range'll
Make love to her horse,
A stallion of course;
If hoof-rot don't get her, the mange'll.
--- Marlene Lewis
About Lucy, my cute little kitty!"
Well, the problem is that
I think "Pussy" not "Cat",
And find "kitty" less witty than "titty".
--- John Miller 0264
And a limerick need not be too pretty.
So I couldn't think why
I'd not give it a try;
I hope these are sufficiently witty.
--- John Miller 0264a
She said, "Come up, look at my kitty!"
You can guess my surprise
When the damned thing had eyes,
Drank milk, had sharp teeth, and smelled shitty!
--- John Miller 0264b a
With fifty-five bucks in the kitty,
To sneak in a whore
For an hour or more:
At that price would you bet she is pretty?
--- John Miller 0264c
She's so soft, and so gentle and pretty
And her tongue is so rough
Just a little's enough,
When I get her to lick on my clitty."
--- John Miller 0264d
Poor Clarence, whose face was so zitty.
When he walked through the doors
Of a house full of whores,
He heard: "Quick, Someone grease up the kitty!"
--- John Miller 0264e a
Once dreamed of a woman named Kitty,
With boobs out to here
And voluptuous rear --
Got in real life not even a titty?
--- John Miller 0264f
Tom had an affair with a Persian.
But beneath all that fur
She wasn't a her.
Now Tom's accused of perversion.
--- Richard L Harrison P9012
Who preferred to have sex with his cat.
"About pussy, I'm fussy--
I don't want no hussy..."
And we all say 'me-ow' to that!
--- Writerman
But a man's best friend is his cat.
They're much fun to screw
Or pop into a stew;
And all it will cost is a pat.
--- David Miller
Whose habits were awfully grotty.
In five minutes flat,
He had buggered my cat,
And tossed himself off on my potty.
--- Michael Horgan
Opined as he diddled a cat:
"She's a far better piece
Than the Viceroy's niece,
And also has more fur on her prat.
--- L0607
When looking for females to greet.
When the barbs on his cock
Make her lash out in shock,
The male beats a hasty retreat.
--- Actaeon
He'd stuff a fat cat in a shoe,
Pull up his cassock,
And kneel on a hassock,
While doing his damnedest to mew.
--- L0645
Avoid the vagina and head.
Their hot little anus
Is rightly quite famous,
Or you could make your own hole instead.
--- Paul Boston
So I toddled off to the Abbey;
But 'twasn't for fun
With some sex starved nun,
But to rape their once friendly tabby.
--- David Miller
That I climbed up the wall, out of reach.
But she also climbed walls
And clawed off my balls...
Taught a lesson the Nuns couldn't teach.
--- John Miller
I'm wondering if my knob would fit her.
I am baby-sittin'
My sisters' new kitten.
My goodness, I have gone and split her!
--- Frank Fazed
If found out, I'll be charged with rape.
Perhaps I can mend
This terrible rend;
Can someone lend me some duct tape?
--- Frank Fazed
Is there anything that you wouldn't stick?
Some day you'll get stuck
While your trying to fuck
Something too small for your dick.
--- Karen
On his love life I never impinge.
So most everyday
He'll find him a stray,
And together they have a sex binge.
--- Anon
From our cats, in heat mobilized.
There's a riot in town;
Boys we have to clamp down;
Lots of water will do -- cold as ice!
--- Anon
When sure of himself, he did fornicate.
But the female lashed out
And the keeper did shout,
For he wound up in need of a tourniquet.
--- Actaeon
Luring every tom to my window sill
She's in estrus for weeks;
Shows lordosis and shrieks!
I wish she were irreproducible.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
They're no good if you are well hung;
It won't fit your prick,
But pleasant's the lick
You may get from it's rough little tongue.
--- Anon
Who had habits exceedingly vile,
That involved tiny cats,
Hardly bigger than rats,
Which he'd stuff up his arse with a smile.
--- Peter Wilkins
He still winced at a kinky "no thanks".
What he'd heard was absurd;
Partly hissed, partly purred,
"I tease then I quit, I'm a Manx."
--- Esther Koch P0102