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There was a young man from Yuma, "Oh Jock! That's disgusting!" she spat. Our trip to the vet was soon nixed My pussy came in from the cold; There was a zoo keeper named Nick -- My Tom cat has a creed Discarding the joys of the abbey, My sweet pussy-cat's smile was so wide, My mom's worried that art might be tainting, My scrotum is battered and scarred, My girlfriend is smelly and fat; An alley cat, (Tom was his name), A driving instructor named Dwight Said a Frenchman who lived at Sans Souci, My kitty cats have quite the life, Take your poodles and goldfish away, There once was a pussy conceited, A cathouse pet tom cat named Pete A rugged old tomcat of Strand A tomcat, completely unplanned, The cat in my hat is called Bugsy, A provident tomcat, Kon Tiki, There's a provident tomcat named Sprite This circus performer, Bill Kiger, A novelist from Tortilla Flats, A city boy named Matt A writer whose tom cat was neutered Said a crafty old Siamese, They say that the Wild Feral Cat Feather soft, angel white, Our tom cat goes out on the prowl, A cute Bengal tiger named Macie The cheetah cub winced: he'd been caught. A zoo girl with passion was rapt Said a certain young maid of Tortuga, (meshugga - crazy)
A nearsighted, zoo-escaped jaguar The Prince of Montezuma There was a young fellow from Yuma There was a young lady from Niger, A zoo lady living in Niger If the anteater's tongue's not enough, There was a young fellow named Spratt, I wanted to tame the big lions; They sent in the girl who had tamed them. He knocked her right down to the ground Then with his tongue he did lick her, As she began to quiverise, All of her now fevered moans To me said the master of the ring, A sex-crazed safari guide, Brian, It's a lion I'm most like, I'm told, So Bonnie's a feline with fur? But if she's a feline with claws, As I've said, I don't like cats, bro. I'm not much for she-wolfish mixin' You may ask why the lion doth roar so... Said the zoo keeper, mangled and dyin', As out on the sawdust he sprawls, Said Siegfreid to Roy at the zoo, Here's the very last one for the night... The angler fish courteth his mate, A lustful young lass from O'Neill There was a young girl from Batonger, There was a young fellow from Tonga There was a young fishwife from Onger A sultry young maiden from Onger,
Who attempted sex with a puma.
He gave up real quick,
Minus nose, toes, and prick,
In obvious pain and ill huma.
--- Anon
"It's only my sporran, dear Pat."
"It's not! It's got paws;
It's got whiskers and claws!
You've been knobbing sweet Tiddles, our cat!"
--- Peter Wilkins
By the claws of my cat (of breed mixed),
Who clearly implied,
"What I have inside
Ain't broke, and I don't want it fixed!"
--- John Miller
Been out on the tiles, I am told.
But tried as I might,
For all of last night,
That feline just wouldn't be holed.
--- Anon
A nasty disease made him sick.
Though there was a time where
He could lick any bear,
He no longer a pussy could lick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2210
Which he applies to each breed:
Every critter
Gets a litter
Save for extraordinary speed.
--- Richard L Harrison P9012
And sexually feeling quite shabby,
I found a new pussy;
We got amorousy;
So now I have screwed our young tabby!
--- Anon
As I massaged her silky-smooth hide;
But my daughter Kim said,
"Bloody cat should be dead.
I thought massage was done from the out-side."
--- David Miller
But with pigments my pussy I'm painting;
Hope I will find that
The inside of a cat,
Was not the reason for my sister's fainting.
--- David Miller
I've been working out hard in the yard;
Been straining hard at
Fist-fucking my cat,
Balls got clawed when she caught me off-guard.
--- David Miller
I'd rather have sex with my cat.
Its anus I prod
With my nineteen inch rod,
And I come while it sleeps on the mat.
--- Andrew Jones
Acquired wide promiscuous fame
By mating with dozens
Of sisters and cousins.
He said, "Pussies all look the same!"
--- Ann Gasser P8706
Had a cat who drank wine, red or white;
Though it often got stoned
It was never disowned
'Cause he claimed, "Pussy's best when it's tight."
--- Anon
"Superstition? Mon Dieu! C'est tout fou, si?
Why only ce soir
I buggaired un chat noir;
To un homme virile, poussy is poussy."
--- Anon
Laying 'round, eating, sleeping. no strife.
They are snots to the max,
And I'm telling the facts,
Pussy licking don't bother his wife.
--- Pooh
Canaries and parrots and prey-
Ing mantids and minks
Or a python that slinks...
It's pussy I'll take any day!
--- Anon
Whom the Cat-Show judges entreated,
"If you'd stick out your necks,
And give points for SEX,
I'm sure I'd remain undefeated!"
--- Richard L Harrison P9012
Said, "These whores in continual heat
Drive me nuts with their scents...
Make me sit on the fence
And howl my head off for hot meat."
--- Grand Prix Lim 983
Once took a young polecat in hand.
He did limit his playing
And he backed away saying,
"I've enjoyed about all I can stand!"
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2323a
Screwed a skunk, because she was at hand.
In the midst of the screw,
He stood up and said, "Phew!
I've enjoyed just all I can stand."
--- Theo Heller P9210
She answers as well to McFugsy.
When she's on the prowl
All the other cats yowl,
Because Bugsy plays kissy and hugsy!
--- Ystap
Fell hard for a pussy named Squeakie;
Right there and like now
He made him a vow:
Put something in the kitty each weekie.
--- Armand E Singer P9901
Who resolved to get everything right.
For New Year's he swore
He'd restock his store,
Putting some in the kitty each night.
--- Armand E Singer 9
Twice daily does mount a huge tiger;
May Heaven defend us!
His act is tremendous,
With sparks you can count with a Geiger.
--- Armand E Singer 914
Repeatedly buggered stray cats.
The alley-fence howls
As he stirred up their bowels,
Enormously pleased the town rats.
--- L0656
Came over to suck off my cat.
I asked if he drank,
He smiled cat-wank.
He didn't swallow, he spat.
--- Anon
To prevent it being constantly suitored,
Was somewhat dismayed,
When at night it still strayed,
But not to perform, it just tutored.
--- Gwyn H Clark a
"Let the younger Toms pounce from the trees.
They chase her about
Till she's all tired out,
While I rest till she's weak in the knees."
--- Richard L Harrison P9012
Is the feline who knows where it's at.
Tame kitties love dicks
The size of match sticks,
But the Feral adores baseball bats.
--- Anon
I let Angora out tonight.
Appearance misleading,
Her mind is on breeding,
And she'll come home looking a fright!
--- Richard L Harrison P9012
He'll fuck any beast, bird or fowl.
But as Ed Lear told her,
One day he got bolder,
And went to town on an owl.
--- Anon
Decided to wear something racy.
A keeper, aroused,
Came in and untroused.
But the tigress left him rather lacy.
--- Actaeon
"You've been jerking yourself, have you not?"
"Yes I have," the cub frowned
As he looked at the ground.
"How'd you know?" "I could tell by the spot."
--- Actaeon
This is file nsk
By a cougar who was sexually apt.
She squeezed him so tight
That when he took flight,
He left her lips terribly chapped.
--- Actaeon
"How I wish I could mate with a cougar.
The sheer joy of the matching
Would be worth all the scratching."
But her friends think she's clearly meshugga.
--- Isaac Asimov
Was aroused by the antlers a stag wore.
The cat made a jump
But before he could hump,
The deer kicked him and made the cat's bag sore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Once had an affair with a puma.
The puma in play,
Clawed both balls away:
An example of animal humor.
--- L0620
Who essayed to bugger a puma.
In the midst of his frolics,
It clawed off his bollocks,
Leaving both in a very bad humor.
--- Anon
Who smiled, being screwed by her tiger;
Said, "What's more than that,
He's a real pussy-cat,
And straight: not a man-eating tiger."
--- Ed Potts P8507
Stripped nude and lay next to a tiger.
When he muzzled her mouth,
She guided him south;
With his tongue he began to oblige her.
--- Actaeon
Consider the Tiger's tongue: Rough!
One lick of your slit
Will clean out your clit
And take all the hair off your muff.
--- John Miller
Who was terribly sassy and fat.
He sat amusing himself
By abusing himself,
While his trained leopard licked at his pratt.
--- L1672
There was a circus in my environs.
They gave an example
For me to sample
The job, if I was worth the tryons.
--- Archie
The jumped through some hoops and roared, then
The biggest one there
Jumped off of his chair,
And approached her, mouth wide open.
--- Archie
And rolled her around and around.
He tore off her clothes,
(My cheeks went quite rose)
He then straddled her with a bound!
--- Archie
And with his tail he did flick her.
He quite gently nipped
At her breasts which were gripped
By his paws with intent to bicker.
--- Archie
Sweat and then start to shiverise,
He redoubled his licking --
I saw he was sticking
His tongue in between both her thighs!
--- Archie
Had started to harden my bone.
My hands became damp,
My balls they did cramp.
I think even I gave a groan.
--- Archie
"Can you handle this sort of thing?"
I said "That's for sure,
Just open the door,
Get the lion out and then let me in!
--- Archie
Thought a lioness might be worth tryin'.
To his joy, she was game,
And remarkably tame.
But that couldn't be said for the lion.
--- Lloyd Rawley a
'Cause in loving I'm brazen and bold.
And stroking my fur
Will get me to purr
And my mane is a sight to behold.
--- Jeanie
And purrs when she's stroked by a sir.
So, is she a lion
You want me to try on?
Then buy me a new sepulchre.
--- Archie
That never will give me a pause.
I stoke and I pet
Until she is set
And then I will claim her applause.
--- Archie
I'm more of a she-wolf, you know.
I'll return your leer;
You need have no fear.
I'll claw you and give the death blow.
--- Bonnie
And I'd rather the vulpinish tricks 'n'
Then going to ground
When no ones around --
Just me and the foxiest vixen.
--- Archie
It's because of the mate he adores so;
If the mate meets a friend,
It will vex him no end,
But if not, it will her even more so.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
"Well, I hope you won't blame me for tryin'.
Although it is true
I'd try anything gnu,
I exceeded good sense with that lion..."
--- John Miller 0336
This tamer of lions recalls
The unfortunate naming
That caused such a maiming.
He damn parents called him Claude Balls.
--- Irish
"Be careful in all that you do.
Keep those lions at bay,
Or it will, I must say,
Be the first time a pussy ate you!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
Though the chance that you'll check it is slight,
The "log" of the lion's
All covered in spines,
So his "bark" could be worse than his bite.
--- John Miller
Then he makes for her vaginal gate;
One fully inside
They're eternally tied;
If he changes his mind, it's too late.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8405 a
Expressed a strong preference for eel.
She said, "My pent conger
Is half a yard longer
And doesn't go limp on the deal."
--- Hugh Oliver A076B
Who was jazzing herself with a conger.
When asked how it feels,
To be pleasured by eels,
She replied, "Like a man, only longer."
--- L1241
Whose donger grew longer and longer,
So he had it away
In a very strange way,
With a short-sighted, seven-foot conger.
--- Michael Horgan
Who used to make love with a conger,
Which she kept in a creel
Till that wily old eel
Tried her asshole and found it was longer.
--- G1294
Had a torrid affair with a conger.
Her boyfriend from Deal
Said, "How does it feel?"
She said, "Just like yours, but much longer!"
--- Percy Longprong
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