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They peeked under Abdul's fine tent; I wanted to be a muezzin Aladdin embarrassed his kin Christianity's converts are comic Said Osama Bin Laden, the pest, Said Fatima: "Ossie, no kissing. (BBC - 2/27/06 Osama Bin Laden prefers hugs to kisses)
Democracy dies with no middle class, The excrement might land anywhere! The sheikh said to the artist named Doyle, What this sheik from Kuwait wished to get Now the pig has been drawn to the strife Allah's got plenty of virgins A caliph who lived in Kuwait Good grief; how can Mustapha Shag Says Crown Prince Abdulla, a Saudi: "Since the kingdom seemed likely to break up," In the streets of Teheran, Ayatollah A Turk named Abdullah Ben Barum Khomeni, our beloved Ayatollah, You said that it "splattered Riyadh" Once we had Gypsies down our way, Khay Hahnajet now has no gender, Cried exhuberant Sheik Fuzzy Dik, The Iranian Revolutionary Guard Here's a sheik of Kuwait who's obese, There once was a Middle East King A Bedouin rented and rode a (oda - room in a harem)
In many of England's old schools, They do it by stealth. Every year He scribbled his note on the wall, I'm sorry I disturbed your slumber, In gas stations, taverns, and stores; Ole Johnson has joined KKK; I'll bet Johnson loves chocolate sweets We're all the same under the skin, Why don't men make use of the brain? A man's brain -- well it's certainly bigger Listen, ladies prefer conversation; Use your head, I will tell you once more -- I'm one prim and old-fashioned girl, But I got involved with a man He just is not my kind of guy. For an answer I admit defeat: Too many too young for a lay Such a negative fellow was Cleft, His brother, it seems, was so dumb, Young Rodney McRich of Cape Cod, A winsome young chap from Assisi There was a young fellow named Jake A finicky man from Australia, There was a young fellow named Grist There once was a young man named Mick, A young versifier of wit Observing the bulge in his khakis, Buy-sexual -- you really must try it. Young Fred, on a spree once last Fall There was a schoolboy called Dunsany, In the men's rooms across this great nation, Well, these tables most surely get used A table like this comes in handy On a few I've seen traces of gravy, An exhausted young man from Dunkirk My room-mate John is not right; Sometimes he shits on his clothes What should I be happy about? Admitting that you are a geek Poor old Palmer was such a sad wimp,
Over Ali's pet lamb he was bent.
When asked to explain
Said, "The lamb feels no pain.
And I've given up camels for lent"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0204
And sing out the prayers and the blessin'.
But the guys as the mosque
Told me, "Don't even ask!!
Our tower's just for men to say presen'!"
--- Robin K Willoughby P8407
With the raucous commotion and din,
When the guy with a tug
Uncorked the old jug,
For he never could handle his djinn.
--- A N Wilkins P8710
And Yahweh has dupes astronomic,
But none of these fockers
Are off of their rockers
Like your typical loony Islamic.
--- Hugh Clary
"I like hugging, not kissing, the best;
Too much kissing spreads bugs!
I'd much rather hug thugs...
'Cause they act like a bullet-proof vest.
--- David Miller
Just stick that thing through which you're pissing,
Right here in my coose;
That'll set off the fuse,
And more than your balls will be missing."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Paul saw darkly through his looking glass.
And if some silly cartoons
Make them look like buffoons,
They need nukes to be stuck up their ass.
--- Anon
From Cuba to Denmark and Zaire.
But, once the world is cleaned,
We'll rebuild the machines;
Dubya's gone, so we'll have cleaner air.
--- Anon
"While painting my portrait, be loyal.
Though you make it your goal
To highlight ever mole,
Be sure that you paint it in oil."
--- A N Wilkins P8407
Was a swinging American pet.
If she went to the woods
And delivered the goods,
He would cover the national debt.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8407
To stem bloodshed where it's become rife.
Up to know it's been saved
Because it is traif, (not kosher)
But must die now to save human life.
--- Fran
To satisfy all of your urgings.
You can't see their faces
Because they're disgraces
To the species of old Homo Sapiens.
--- Anon
Had eunuchs he used to berate.
Supposed to be lustless,
They proved to be trustless --
Their fate was too sad to relate.
--- Philo Logue P8407
Shag that wizened old mummified hag?
Well, he closes his eyes
As he opens her thighs,
And pretends she's a camel in drag.
--- Peter Wilkins
"I'm civilized but I'll say howdy
To Bush down in Texas
If one of the sexes
In airport control's not allowedy!"
--- Prof M-G
The Saudi king told Mr. Jacob,
"Nearly everyone knew
What I had to do,
So I called for a government sheikh up."
--- A N Wilkins P8407
Strolled in shoes reeking of Gorgonzola.
The crowd roared. "Khomeini,
It's clear you're not brainy --
Why, you don't know Shiite from Shinola."
--- Bob Giandomenico P8711
Had sixty-five wives in his harem.
When his favourite horse died,
"Mighty Allah!" he cried.
"Take a few of my wives - I can spare 'em."
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Cheers with the cheer, "Boola, Boola,"
And the face like the grass
In a sphinctering pass
And a hat that could be a bowla.
--- Roy Shaw P8711
Why not do ALL of Jihad?
It took me a minute
But now I can get it;
Not even Clinton has that big a wad.
--- Anon
But the Afghans moved in today.
You can spot Talibans,
They all drive white vans,
And stop every ten miles to pray.
--- Tony Burrell
And what's left of his face now is tender;
A letter-bomb he sent,
With no stamps, still it went...
But back it came, "Return To Sender."
--- David Miller
"The E vitamin has a great kick!
Now my harem brood
Is frequently screwed,
For it pricks up the schtick in my mick!"
--- Anon
With a condition well-known as HARD,
Had a desire to go peggin'
In a man known as Reagan,
But it's against his belief to use lard.
--- Roy Shaw P8711
And whose harem's a gaggle of geese.
So reserved just for him
Are a dozen of quim,
Yet he yearns for monogamous peace.
--- Thomas A Quinine P8407
Who had warts on the end of his thing.
With a wink and a cough.
Abdullah sucked them all off,
And the back of his throat felt a sting.
--- Tomer Shiran
Big camel for days till he owed a
Caboodle of money.
He searched for a honey
To join other wives in his oda.
--- Philo Logue P8407
They are bending and breaking the rules.
So statistics will show
They're improving, although
They keep churning out hundreds of fools.
--- Anon
It seems easier questions appear
In most every exam.
It's the favorite scam
Of illiterate teachers, I fear.
--- Anon
"For good times you really must call: "
Me, startled from slumber.
The jerk left my number!
Hey, Charlie -- Revenge is so SMALL!
--- Anon
It must be I dialed a wrong number.
In the bar where I drink,
There it was o'er the sink...
I was just a drunken succumber.
--- Anon
O'er the urinals or behind the doors --
"For a girl who will party
Call now -- ask for Marty,"
But the handwriting, dear, looks like yours!
--- Anon
Those sad bastards think the same way.
Put them in a line;
It would be just fine;
Just one bullet to blow them away.
--- Anon
This is file nrl
And brownies and blackberry treats;
And I'll bet at night,
When dark is just right,
Ol' Large eats 'em under the sheets!
--- Anon
So, black, white or yellow the quim,
Much differences aren't,
Except for the slant,
To quibble o'er shade is a sin.
--- Anon
They think with their dicks -- that's insane!
This wee worm which they've got,
(And we females have not)
To them seems to be a great gain.
--- Anon
Than his ding-a-dong, that's what I figure.
(Small enough, anyway)
But to my great dismay,
All they need is just pulling their trigger.
--- Anon
Some sweet talk 'bout your infatuation.
I am sure they don't care
For guys horny like bear,
So keep cool in a hot situation!
--- Anon
No, not always, but always before
You strike out for some action
To gain sweet satisfaction,
Otherwise you'd soon just be a boar.
--- Anon
Who thought to give loving a whirl.
Wish I'd been caught up
With some sweet young pup,
Whose hot kisses made my toes curl.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That my friends all call "Dapper Dan."
This stuck-up clothes horse
Ignores me, of course --
Unless I hit him with a pan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"But none are!" I say with a sigh.
I just want perfection
In one little section,
But all of them tell me some lie.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Why is an American not complete
Without his gun rights,
Whilst daily gunfights
Leave another young corpse on the street.
--- Anon
Each day in the U.S.of A.
Getting blown away;
Lord I hope and pray
They stop it. Somehow. Someway. Today!
--- Anon
And of charm and of wit so bereft,
That his friends he annoyed,
And he wrought such a void
When he came, that they asked who had left.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9801
That his presence would leave people numb.
And there was such a void
All around him deployed,
When he left, people asked who had come.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2499
Who fancies himself a Greek God,
Became self-endearing
Because of poor hearing,
When someone said, "There's that geek, Rod!"
--- Cyber Geezer
Is not very masculine, is he?
He sits down to piss
Like a regular miss--
No wonder they call him a sissy.
--- Michael Horgan
Who feared he would make a mistake.
When the boss said, "Let's go
On the road with the show."
He would press with his foot on the brake.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2630
With the ladies was largely a failure.
He said, "Sex may be fun
But in the long run,
It will damage my fine genitalia."
--- Isaac Asimov
Who found the girls hard to resist.
He'd give them the eye
But was so deeply shy,
That he always just missed being kissed.
--- Michael Palin
Whose son was extremely thick.
He wore scruffy clothes,
And picked dirt from his toes;
His eating habits made you sick.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whose work was a dollop of grit,
Felt a very proud chap
When they shouted, "What crap!
He must be a bloody great shit!"
--- P8704
Was entirely, utterly whacky.
He liked a good game
(It was his claim to fame)
'Cause he had built-in Hacky-Sacky.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
'Cause if I can't get sex, I buy it.
When my balance is low,
I can't afford a blow,
For for some trade, I will ply it.
--- Funny Bone
Met a woman accepting his call;
The story's unique
As he wasn't a sheik,
He went as he came, and that's all.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9401
Who in class, had the nickname of Brainy.
He was spoiled quite rotten;
He was kept wrapped in cotton,
Especially if the weather turned rainy.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
One finds now a neat "Changing Station",
Where a new dad is able
On a well-designed table,
To work without improvisation.
--- John Miller 0092
By men who appear quite enthused
To accomplish some end--
An end, my dear friend,
Which might leave the designers confused.
--- John Miller 0092b
For sorting out hardware or candy.
Some find it nice
For a roll of the dice;
For a quick game of poker, just dandy.
--- John Miller 0092c
Grease spots, and ink marks, and maybe
Some traces of oil,
Miscellaneous soil,
But never, NOT EVER, a baby!
--- John Miller 0092d
Was unable to get it to work.
With his hand on his thing,
He knew well how to cling,
But hadn't a clue how to jerk.
--- Hugh Oliver A086A
His weird habits have reached a new height.
He drinks his own pee;
That's alright with me.
But his burps keep me up half the night.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And eats what he picks from his nose.
My friend John may be bent,
But he pays half the rent,
And he cooks and he cleans and he sews.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You rooting around with your snout?
You breaking my skin
To worm your way in?
You must believe I am put-out.
--- Anon
Will not make me think you are chic.
I'll think you're a goof!
But I'm not aloof --
Would you like to play hide and seek?
--- Anon
He had failed as both pusher and pimp.
So he took to the net,
Some hot pussy to get,
But he couldn't -- his dick was too limp.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
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