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Favruke was the style of one lefty
(Liv's lover was skillful and defty).
And further, it rang,
When he'd gently bang,
And too, when farts blew through her clefty.

(favrile - iridescent surfaced glass)
--- H Welchel

Another glass glute had two doors,
Liv rented it out to some whores.
These girls were all dwarves
She'd met at the wharves.
(I guess they were all ass lessors.)
--- H Welchel

One of the whores has a chair --
A hole in the bottom for air.
Embroidery sweet,
And porcelain feet --
She snuck it one night from their lair.
--- H Welchel

"Pottery feet are like stones,
Cracking my ass," Liv intones.
Go back to the pier!
Your lease is quite clear:
Glass houses should not stow thrones!
--- H Welchel

A chauffeur by the name of Runnel,
From penis to ass had a tunnel,
When he stopped to buy gas,
Put the hose up his ass;
Dropped his dick in the tank like a funnel.
--- Puff Adder TP9807

A couple who lived up in Duns
Had identical triplets - three sons.
And with writing so tiny,
They labeled each hiney,
And told them apart by their buns.
--- Cap'n Bean P0112

A desperate young lass from Vancouver
Liposuctioned her ass with a Hoover.
The massive reduction
Achieved by the suction,
Was generally thought to improve 'er.
--- Stargazer

I hope you won't think that I'm crass
When I speak of this wonderful ass.
I know we are able
To have sex at the table,
But the damned thing is made out of glass!
--- Lims For Year - 01

To a pipe-smoking dickhead named Flock,
The death of his boss was a shock.
So he chiseled a bowl
From the corpses asshole,
And he fashioned a stem from it's cock.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2873

A compelling young man from the Bronx
Decided to cruise honky-tonks.
He was laid, and alas,
Took a horn up the ass,
And now with his tooter, he honks!
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay

There was an old man of Australia,
Who painted his arse like a azalea.
A penny a smell
Was all very well,
But sixpence a lick was a failure.
--- G2248

Perfusion is messy, perforce;
At least you're not fixing a horse!
When your work's lacking mirth,
On the day of your birth,
It's really a pain in the orse.
--- Anon

Autographed on the rear of Miss Cade
Are the names of the men she has laid...
Her 'Poontang Who's Who'
Is a sight you should view...
Not to mention the wild sex displayed.
--- Grand Prix Lim 466

An ingenious young man of South Bend
Made a synthetic arse for a friend.
But the friend shortly found
Its construction unsound,
It was simply a bother--no end.
--- L0234

If you go to the market, my dear,
Never walk behind Mrs. Revere;
For, since her behind
Has been realigned,
It's risky to bring up the rear.
--- Nancy Ashbaugh P0105

An Epicurean renowned for her taste,
Found it difficult to be seated with grace.
So boiling onions in cream,
Hung her ass in the steam;
And her hemorrhoids retreated with haste!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was this man named Jim Morse,
Who worked all around nuclear force.
After a melt-down of mass,
Placed sockets in his ass,
And then had his own power source.
--- Laurence Craft

There once was an Aussie named Kevin
Who dreamed that he'd gone up to heaven.
The angels had tits
And big hairy clits,
And arseholes that tasted of lemon.
--- U K Snag

A stupid girl built like a sow
And wanting to please so, thought how.
With a "W" tatooed
On each cheek, when seen nude
Bending over could give guys a WOW!
--- Bob Giandomenico P9003

It was sad when she shuttered the blind.
If you ask me, I'd call this unkind.
Her hair may be blue,
But she has a tattoo,
And it makes an intriguing behind.
--- Al Willis

Did you hear about old Van der Valk?
He powders his bottom with talc.
When they asked him: "What for?"
He said, "My bottom's quite sore.
You can tell by the way that I walk."
--- Bill Wall

His lover was so very tiny,
And she had such a cute little hiney;
She would wax it each night
Just to bring him delight,
For he liked it best when it's shiny!
--- Cap'n Bean P9807

It seems that she really does suffer,
The skin on her butt has grown tougher.
It is from the hot wax
That got into her cracks,
But also the use of a buffer.
--- Bob Birch P9808

As the debutante grandly appeared,
All the guys in the room stood and cheered,
'Cause they were impressed
By the way she was dressed;
It was obvious she was well-reared!
--- Observer

A French painter had felt it not fitting,
The place where that woman was knitting;
So he brought her to tears
When he cried, "It appears
On my just-painted bench, you are sitting!"
--- David A Brooks Q

"Who's in charge?" at the body parts meeting,
'Twas debated after the greeting.
The brain does the thinking,
Eyes keep us from sinking,
Each thought his role more than just fleeting.
--- Daniel Ford

Hands said they were most enabling;
Stomach claimed power from tabling.
Legs noted moving
Importance proving;
Rectum call above just fabling.
--- Daniel Ford

Rectum and his partner Anus
Claimed full charge, power of Janus.
When others cried "WHAT?
You silly old Butt,
You're zilch, like Coriolanus!"
--- Daniel Ford

Soon Rectum/Anus closed up shop,
And soon effects were felt on top.
Legs grew wobbly,
Body was hobbly,
Queasy stomach and brain was like glop.
--- Daniel Ford

Stressed body parts then took a poll,
Agreed to Rectum's leader role.
The moral at large?
If you'd be in charge,
Not most import, just be an asshole.
--- Daniel Ford

A Connecticut maiden named Annie
Developed an oversized fanny.
When asked, "Why not diet?"
She answered, "I'd try it,
But I'm sure it would make me uncanny."
--- G2241

There once was a lady of Crete,
So enormously broad in the seat,
That one day in the ocean,
She caused such commotion,
That Admiral Byrd claimed her for America.
--- L0146

To her sister said flat-chested Marge,
"Oh sweetie your breasts are so large!
But I really don't care
And find it quite fair
That your ass is the size of a barge."
--- Anon

This is file npm

I once met a girl from Nebraska;
Her ass was as large as Alaska.
The dress that was on her
Could hide Arizona
And it took me a week to get past her!
--- Blowcephus T9801

There was a young man named Manus,
Who had an extremely large anus.
When he went to make doo,
It was four feet by two
And the smell was really quite heinous.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Well I stuck my head up a billy goat's ass,
And the smell was enough to blind me.
But the smell was sweet
Compared to the feet
Of the girl I left behind me.
--- Anon A

There was a young lady from Brum,
Who had an enormous thumb.
The thumb was a curse,
But to make matters worse,
She had a very big bum.
--- Michael Palin

Big Bertha is balanced of figure;
Her bust if thrust forward with vigor,
Would cause her to sway
In a dangerous way,
If her buttocks weren't mightily bigger.
--- Peter Wilkins

He's been rolling around in the dirt,
And been telling lies 'bout his skirt.
Said she was a slut,
And that she's mostly butt,
And he hopes that her feelings are hurt.
--- Marlene Lewis

I thought he was speaking of you!
But Charlie's a jerk, that is true.
He likes to make passes
At girls with big asses...
Don't know why he hangs around you.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Charlie's gal has no reason to gloat,
With her ass barely hid by her coat.
He does take her fishing,
But really she's wishing,
It was not just to balance the boat.
--- Frank Fazed

"Dear husband," said statuesque Marge,
"Does this dress make my ass look too large?"
While looking for tact
He said, "Well, in fact...... "
He now sleeps in their smelly garage.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508

There once was a young lady of Mass,
Who had a very large ass.
When she caused it to shake,
It caused an earthquake,
And clouds of poisonous gas.
--- Anon

I know an old harlot named Triskett,
So broad in the rump and the brisket,
That since she began,
To solicit, no man
Has said "Let's go!" but only "I'll risk it!"
--- John Ciardi A

So obese is my cousin from Hendon,
She looks elephantine, seen end on.
What preys most on her mind
Is her efforts to find
A good deck-chair that she can depend on.
--- A H Baynes

There once was a man from Newcastle,
Possessed of a very large asshole,
Into which he, the churl,
Would stuff nuts like a squirrel.
His own asshole, wasn't he facile?
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A doctor said sadly, "Alas!
From the data that I can amass,
What causes male droop--
And I have all the poop--
Is the feminine excess of ass."
--- Albin Chaplin G0004A

There once was a girl from Revere
So enormously broad that Oh Dear!
Once far out on the ocean,
Byrd raised a commotion
By planting the flag on her rear.

(well, he was a rear admiral - McW)
--- Anon

A fuckstress from north Alabama
Complained to her swain when he'd wham her,
"You've got such a fat ass."
He replied to the lass,
"Can't drive a spike with a tack hammer!"
--- Cunning Linguist

One day whan a lady named Anne,
Went up to the sun-roof to tan,
A gent in a copter
Flew over and dropped her
Some ads for a crash-diet plan.
--- John Ciardi

Good heavens! Look over this fence...
It's my neighbor, the nubile Hortense.
Well she used to be so
'Til she let herself go,
Now she's nothing far short of immense!
--- Peter Wilkins

It could be that the reason you find
Your young neighbour Hortense's behind
Grown huge, might not be that
She's really grown fat.
Maybe you have just narrowed your mind.
--- Ulla

They are wise words you speak, but my dear,
It's big girls I like around here.
The size notwithstanding,
They'll give a soft landing
When diving from off chandeliers.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I really must side with my chum;
Hortense has a really huge bum.
It buries her lips
Like a total eclipse,
And reduces her farts to a hum.
--- Frank Fazed

Those gals with those really huge bums,
Like Hortense, are Ma Nature's plums.
They cushion their guys
On pillowy thighs,
And hold him quite tight when he comes.
--- Marlene Lewis

Being held in her cavernous cheeks
While squeezing her mammary peaks,
Would just blow my mind,
And later she'll find
When walking, she no longer squeaks.
--- Frank Fazed

Regarding my cute little ass,
An update's in order, alas.
I have to admit
It's grown quite a bit;
The years have expanded its mass.
--- Barbara Tepper

The years just keep rolling along
And treat us sometimes right or wrong!
As they've done to your ass,
Yes, Barbara lass,
They've done the same things to my dong!
--- Travis Brasell

Yes mine, too, has grown a bit wide,
But I've no problem sitting astride
A healthy young buck,
For a bronco type fuck,
And have me a long long slow ride.
--- Carol

I saw that gal planting caladiums,
Her butt looked like she'd taken radiums;
Yes, it was grand-dandy,
But comes in real handy
For her on hard bleachers in stadiums.
--- Anon

A girl from the land newly founded,
Had a bottom decidedly rounded.
Her deepest concern
When her rear was upturned,
Was that all of her rounded was grounded.
--- John McNaughton C

My rear is round, big and hairy;
My girlfriend says it's plain scary.
I can't disagree,
With these words made to me,
So I cover it up, but just barely.
--- Anon

The hind end of Harriett Bass
Is a shapeless, protuberant mass;
So large that poor Harriett
Can not lift or carriett‹;
She has to hire help to haul ass.
--- Anon

Along came old Mr. L. Harrow
Built like, and light as a sparrow,
Said, "Harriett, my dear
Come park your rear
Upon my little red barrow."
--- Anon

Woe to my lovely companion
Whose ass is as wide as a canyon.
She fears it's too ample,
So I don't get to sample
Her broad and majestic, young Shannon.
--- Vinnie TP9804

There was a young lady named Mudge,
All day long she ate candy and fudge.
Her ass was so fat,
It went SPLAT when she sat,
And no one could get her to budge.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G0406

J-Lo's male fans surround her in flocks,
And in public, pursue her for blocks.
I recall Forrest Gump,
Since J-Lo's monsterous rump's
From the Botox shot in her buttocks.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0509


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