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We don't have that same problem here; I've been watchin hurricane Mitch; From out of the anus of Heaven, "Who has seen the wind?" asked in voice shrill, There once was an old Eskimo His efforts cause hardships delux, While sated on pork fat and beer, On gardening I've always been keen; But not since the first of July, It's official, we're suffering from drought. My grass now a nice shade of brown. This was coming, I knew in advance. I am still going to water my flowers, Well, I figure if I don't take a bath, I'm just trying to work all this out, Today: Heavy rain is about, If I had a pot full of gold, It's said summer's near; someone's fooling, It might be somewhat far less than charming Some people for reasons political, I'm still care about global warming; It's time you Yanks showed some respect Each summer, it's more than a dream If freezing got you a piece, Out here in the desert southwest, The desert southwest normally bakes We've our share of flakes, that's for sure. But most of them all still wear clothes. With sweet tea and nice crispy toast, Through the window, I watch the birds feed, The apple trees, sadly are bare There was a young man named Mel, If "fall"'s what we do on wet leaves, The first day of April was fine; Yes, April first is the best, The first day of June was the best Aha! Now I get it, old Gray. While playing that June you revealed In Springtime those lovely three sisters Too young is sweet April, I'm told, I once knew a girl called October. Young April will give me some showers, No sun, too much water, too cool; 'Tis on heat that I constantly sit, Oh colder than wind when it freezes, In sunny July I disrobe her. A pestilent volcanic dustiness I greet the vernal EQUINOX, A brisk day of blue sky and gold Said a nudist who tended to preach, Said a practical cockster named Ricky, (taken from the following quatrain)
When the nights are hot and sticky, Said the famous sexologist Hicky, The leaves crunching under my feet Winter's here; the Midwest has been hit, The leaves will be back on the trees, This day dawned very dreary and freezin'; "By summer, the race will be won," Winter gives way to blossoming spring, Summertime leaves me wishing beyond I've decided that I must go I know what you think of in Spring, Fall is here, don't be absurd! On a beautiful, clear autumn day, Autumn's not an S.F. season, per se, The leaves of the season, bespread, October, October, October,
In California it is all clear.
That's probably 'cause
Of El Nino's ripsaws,
That's enough to cry in one's beer.
--- S C Saint
It is big and no little hitch.
But this sort of storm
Is becoming the norm.
And Mitch proves that nature's a bitch!
--- Archie
Shot Thunder Nine Twenty Seven.
It poured from the sky,
Pure shit on the fly.
And hit Earth at half past eleven.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is a question which baffles me still.
For answers I'm yearning
But know it was turning
Both John Sutter's and John Stuart Mill.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9807
Who hated the cold and the snow.
When Christmastime came,
"I'm too cold!", she'd exclaim,
So she flew down to Acapulco.
--- Christine Brim
Pain and suffering for seaguls and ducks.
His intent may be noble
But disaster is global --
As a weatherman, Al Nino Sucks.
--- William N Nesbit P9807
Old Marly expressed his good cheer.
He cracked off a medly --
Not silent, but deadly,
And damaged the Earth's stratosphere.
--- H Welchel
Grass lush and beautifully green.
Flowers, there were many,
Vegetables plenty,
The setting was quite serene.
--- Anon
Has a drop of rain from the sky,
Fallen 'round here.
The sky is still clear,
The ground all cracked up and dry.
--- Anon
With strict water restrictions about.
Tickets and fines,
If we don't fall in line,
Keep our hoses inside; not out.
--- Anon
Flowers and veggies all drooping down.
With nothing to drink,
They're just going to shrink,
And die all the way down to the ground.
--- Anon
So I hired this guy, took a chance.
Though his fee's a bit pricey,
I think he'll do nicely,
He promised a naked rain dance.
--- Anon
I'll just do it in the wee hours.
I say screw the brown grass,
The law can kiss my ass,
'Cause I don't use that shit in their towers.
--- Anon
How can I possibly suffer their wrath.
I'll water the grass,
But I won't wash my ass,
But I'll sure make it clean for Sabbath.
--- Anon
I hate all that's caused by this drought.
But if I smell like poo poo,
What are they gonna do,
Fuck'em; hope they all get the gout.
--- Anon
Small tornadoes and large waterspouts.
Six inches of hail,
Followed on its tail,
Summertime in England, no doubt.
--- Tony Burrell
I'd buy everything ever sold.
If I had lots of money,
I go somewhere sunny,
Instead of here with freezing cold.
--- Annie Sandaker
Since for halcyon days we've been drooling.
Global warming exists
But the thought which persists
Is that this year we've had global cooling.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0307
And even considered alarming.
To put it succinctly,
We could vanish extinctly,
If there's anything to "Global Warming."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0110
Of warming-trend warnings are critical.
So come and you'll learn
How the stuff that we burn,
Will all cause us harm that is physical.
--- Literary Group
We've yet to see what it can bring.
A temperate winter
May foretell the enter-
ance of 130 degree spring!
--- Archie
For this nasty Greenhouse Effect.
I hear that it's grown
The malarial zone
To a thing that Britain can expect.
--- Tony Burrell
That Oslo, we've reason to gleam
In the temperature drop --
Don't you ever dare stop
The Northern Atlantic Gulf stream!
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8801
Objections would certainly cease.
When cold and dismayed,
It helps to get laid,
Wrapped up in the feathers of geese.
--- Elois
Our weather is mostly the best.
But right now it's snowin';
The wind is a-blowin';
I think I'll not even get dressed!
--- Observer
With heat that will dry up the lakes;
Today, I suppose,
If you won't wear some clothes,
Your habitat's perfect for flakes.
--- Travis Brasell
My state has a certain allure
To folks from the east.
So 'flakes' have increased
To more'n we can hardly endure.
--- Observer
(Which is for the best, heaven knows.)
But, if like sweet Carol,
They'd shed their apparel,
There'd be much more fun, I suppose!
--- Observer
The breakfast, the meal I like most,
With a pair of brown eggs
And the mutt sits and begs,
As I sit here and ponder this post.
--- Mul
As they chatter and fight for the seed.
It brightens my day;
I shall feed them till May.
After that, there's no longer need.
--- Mul
Till Spring, and the weather gets fair.
Then not long to wait
And apples! (First rate!)
Will be picked with reverence and care.
--- Mul
In a Michigan town named Hell,
Where winter's the season
For ice, snow and freezin',
But spring, fall and summer are swell.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Then "winter"'s "gain tar"--just Ask Jeeves.
And "summer"'s still hot,
While others are not.
But spring's in my step, you'll perceive.
This is file npl
I'm glad it was finally mine.
Of course, as a rule,
I'm no April Fool,
And seldom do I toe the line.
--- Liam na Beag
For I count anniversaries blest.
See my lawyer and I
Told ex-husband to fly,
On that day filled with smiles and with jest!
--- Delux
For me, but, thereafter, no rest
Was mine to enjoy,
Because her employ
By me makes dear June work undressed.
--- Travis Brasell
I thought first of months, by the way.
But then I rethought
And your meaning I caught.
I knew her sibs, April and May.
--- Liam na Beag
July when your mouth is unsealed.
In one so August
We naturally trust
Your Sept embers are now concealed.
--- Archie
Named April, May, June makes us misters
Put hands on our tools
Until we've, like fools,
Achieved on our palms, painful blisters.
--- Travis Brasell
And June is, for Springtime, too old.
I'll wait until May
For a roll in the hay,
For I hear she's exceedingly bold.
--- Peter Wilkins
Alas, she'd a face like a dober-
Man. Still, when you're tight
On a Saturday night,
You'd love her, but never when sober.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Bold May, though, will bring me some flowers,
But June, more mature,
Than either, for sure,
Will heat up my body for hours.
--- Travis Brasell
Last summer we shut down the pool.
But from nearby we hear
Of a much better year.
Or was that program on April Fool?
--- John Stubbs P9309
For I am no bloody Brit,
But a Florida beach bummer,
Waiting for summer
So that out to the beach I can get.
--- Robyn
Is that horrible pang when it seizes
The heart when betrayed;
No solace can aid,
And gone are the warm summer breezes.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
In sweltering August I probe her.
In steamy September,
She fondles my member.
We hump throughout sober October.
--- Jerry Nordal P0301
Has blanked the sun's estival lustiness.
Now water refuses
To go, and suffuses
A permanent dankness and mustiness.
--- P G Thornhill P9308
Freed from grip of wintery locks,
No in and out both,
To witness new growth
Of blossoms that bloom in bright shocks.
--- Chris Papa
On the trees outside, air good and cold;
No day to stay in!
To do so is sin!
So let's get it on outside...be bold!
--- Anon
"Sun and water I crave at the beach.
But with holes in the ozon'
We must keep our clothes on.
A sun tan is now out of reach."
--- Sheila Rolfe P9308
"Never screw when it's torrid and sticky.
Best to wait until autumn,
When the breeze cools your bottom;
What a season for dunking your dickie.
--- Armand E Singer 33
That's no time for dunkin' dickie;
When the frost is on the punkin,
That's the time for dickie dunkin'.
--- Armand E Singer 33A
"When the weather is hot and it's sticky,
You avoid dickie dunkin';
When there's frost on the pumpkin,
Now's the time for the dunkin' of dickie.
--- Armand Singer
Means it's time that I swept the concrete.
I will sweep it and then
'Twill be covered again...
It's a full time job, keeping yards neat!
--- Prof M-G T9710
And they've yelped, snarled, snipped; had a fit.
But perhaps you should know,
When you hear of their woe,
They're a breed who likes shovellin' shit.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
A warmth will be felt in the breeze,
The days will be longer,
The sun will be stronger,
I'll enter these changes with ease.
--- Cap'n Bean
Not unusual in this bleak season.
It did precipitate,
Though in volume not great,
But at least we had rime with good reason.
--- Loren Fitzhugh
Said Kim, flying close to the sun.
But her wax wings got hotter
And she plunged to the water,
Crying, "Send rescue copters, I'm done!"
--- Peter Maitland P9308
Spring to summer, hot days in full swing;
Slow transition to fall,
All four seasons enthrall;
Spicy seasoning a fifth one would bring.
--- Joel D Ash P0410
Weather fair; it's of fun that I'm fond.
So Rusty, my trusty
Friend, seems that I'm lusty,
For some blessing from your magic wand.
--- Anon
Live in a land without snow,
Because of your words.
I recall the turds,
But more those I loved long ago.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'm thinking the very same thing.
With a chivalrous turn,
I'd inflict such a burn,
For a solid week you would sting.
--- Frank Fazed
The grass is dead, with dried-up turd.
And just one more thing,
There's no birds on the wing;
They have all traveled South, as you've heard.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I just might ask "Going my way?"
As I happily ponder
The leaves as I wander
Through forests and fields full of hay.
--- Anon
And I miss spectrum-bursting ballet,
Of leaves falling to earth
To bring about re-birth
Of next Spring's inspiring display.
--- Anon
Transmuted to yellow and red,
And orange and brown,
As they gently fall down,
And they land on the top of my head.
--- Cap'n Bean P0011
That great arboreal disrober.
Trees are dressed, much in hue
Till the wind rustles through,
Leaving all of them naked and sober!
--- John Miller
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