MORE
You can have all your super-assed lasses; There was a young lady named Stone There once was a lady called Barse, There was a young man from Batasse, (Mama Cass Elliot, singer in the Mamas and the Papas)
There was a lady from the Cape, There was a fat lady of Bryde, A much-too-plump damsel of Chatham There was a young lady named Alice, There once was a big fat whore's arse, There was a young girl named McCall, There was a young man of Bhogat, (Published 1879)
Let me say that the scanty bikini There once was a woman named Annie, A steatopygic young lass Said my friends, "We'll attempt to oblige you, Fatty rump, STEATOPYGIA, Said husband, "I think that I see a Said the wife, "One tortilla can't hurt... There was a young wife from Zaire, Anne-Marie was a pot-bellied slut; For sure! But Hortense is immense; There was a spelunker named Danny There once as a lass from Revere, There was a young lady from Ayers There once was a man named Golders, Joe's housekeeper crawls on all fours Today she got thoroughly stuck "Our love-making seems rather bleak," There was a young man of Mobile A poetess (name rhymes with Keatts) Lest her talents remain yet unsung, There's a saying they say when, alas, The cowgirl who's out on the tractor A free-handed fellow named Jackie A furtive frotteur of Brest, France, (not in my
unabridged) I'll be to my cook so much kinder, It is nice to be high- or top-hatted; There once was a young chap named Butch, When Anne is on my tv-set, He exhibited great savoir faire New Years Eve when I started to chat The barmaid at Restaurant Reggie's A demoiselle straight from the Loire, A naucratis from old Damietter, A lovely but LIVID young lass, There was a lady named McNiel The Greek statues were pretty yummy; A pretty young girl in from France Poor Suzy was gagging in jerks, He was scratching his ass with a finger. When atom bombs fill up the sky, A gay student from Burton-on-Marsh Dave has no problem ass kissin'; There was a young fellow called Danny, Said a youth from Saskatchewan, There was an old soldier of Bister, There was a masseur at the club Penelope Poor was a prude There's a fact that one cannot ignore: Scratching my ass is a fault If it's true that guys don't make passes There's a pretty girl working at Dabbers; I blew it with both the twin Munns. The Australian gal pardoned my blunder. The Renaissance man Don Giovanni There once was a fellow named Blass,
A babe with Big Tits gets my passes.
For a big, bouncy bust
Stirs man's animal lust--
Big asses are just for the masses.
--- G0380A
Whom the boys let severely alone,
Because she had thighs
Of preposterous size,
And an arse such as elephants own.
--- G0460
Was renowned for having two cars.
I mistakenly admired
The cars, and she fired:
"Those are just the two sides of my arse"
--- Anon
Who met a most marvelous lass.
But alas! She was crass,
And she sported an ass
With a mass to surpass Mama Cass.
--- Anon A
Of a rather peculiar shape.
What looked like a bustle
Turned out to be muscle,
Well swathed in a yard of black crepe.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Whose shoelaces once came untied.
But she didn't dare stoop,
For fear she would poop,
And she cried, and she cried, and she cried.
--- R D L0676
Was afflicted alas with a fat ham.
She tried and she tried,
But it can't be denied
That she seldom had mustard on that ham.
--- Conrad Aiken
Whose ass was as big as a palace.
Her dresses were tight,
And she made quite a sight,
To quicken the pulse of the callous.
--- L1628
That had many men in life's course.
It took many loads
From many men's choads,
And then emerged Par from this source.
--- Anon
Whose cunt was exceedingly small.
But the size of her anus,
Was something quite heinous,
It could hold seven pricks and one ball.
--- L0191A
The cheeks of whose ass were so fat,
That they had to be parted
Whenever he farted,
And propped wide apart when he shat.
--- L0672A
Looks better on little Miss Sweeney
That it does on the rear,
The size of a pier,
Protruding from Mrs. McFeeney.
--- Alsop P8303
Who had a large oversized fanny.
When she sat on a duck
The poor thing got stuck,
And the sound that it made was uncanny.
--- Bob Birch P0207
Had an awesome abundance of ass --
When she lies on her tum,
Her poor bum becomes numb
From the snow-caps that form there "en masse".
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402
And we'll all of us try not to ride you.
We won't be so crass
As to call you fat ass,
We'll use the term steatopygia.
--- A N Wilkins P8801
With beauty's hips, callipygia,
Is the Hottentot's dream,
Though it all does seem
The wont of sculptors in Phrygia.
--- HOTTENTOTS
Cause for your STEATOPYGIA.
You ate a full plate,
Much more than your mate,
Yet went for another tortilla!"
--- Observer
Oh no! I think I've split my skirt!
But oh, what the hell,
It's all just as well,
'Cause now I've got room for dessert!"
--- Observer
Who had a protuberant rear.
So steatopygeous was she,
'Twas a source of great glee,
For those who came by to see her.
--- Tom Ratliff P0303
No foundation could circle her gut.
If you think that was bad,
Know that she also had
A steatopygian butt.
--- Anon
Her buttocks loom over the fence.
They blot out the sun
And oft tremble, when one
Of her thunderous trumpets, she vents.
--- Anon
Who dated a girl with a fanny,
Which contained such a maze,
That it took him ten days,
To explore every nook and each cranny.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0429
So enormously large in the rear,
When she splashed into the ocean,
She caused such commotion,
The waves made two ships disappear!
--- Anon
Who covered two dining-room chairs,
But not with brocade
Or anything made,
And that is why everyone stares.
--- Limber Limericks
Whose turds were the size of boulders.
They stretched him so big,
While shitting he slid
Through his asshole up to his shoulders.
--- James Moses
While cleaning and scrubbing the floors.
But my, what a lass!
What a sumptuous ass!
But she's asked him to widen the doors.
--- Peter Wilkins
'Twixt the kitchen and hall (rotten luck).
But Joe, in the kitchen
Said, "Quit your damn bitchin',"
And gave her a bloody good fuck.
--- Peter Wilkins
Said she, "Please don't think I'm a freak.
Perhaps I'll feel tingly
If thrilled analingualy."
"Let's try," he replied, tongue-in-cheek.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8911
Who thought it not sinful to steal
A glance at the ass
Of a well-rounded lass,
Or even a quick, well-bred feel.
--- Isaac Asimov
Although not endowed with large teats,
Had great charms for those
Who, bereft of their clothes,
Let her walk up their backsides with cleats.
--- Michael O'Donoghue P9803
I must mention my Marylou's tongue.
Though I love it inside
Every gap in my hide,
I prefer her big toe in my bung!
--- Anon
Life would harangue and harass.
To us bums abound,
What goes 'round, comes 'round,
And bites the nice guys in the ass!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is happy except for one factor;
When every last bump
Meets up with her rump,
She's certain that someone has smacked her.
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
This is file nom
Had ways with the guys that were wacky.
He liked feeling their rocks,
Their thighs and their cocks
With his left hand behind them, by cracky.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
It is one of my tricks
To get off my kicks
And calm down the ants in my pants.
--- Grand Prix Lim 73
No more will I sneak up behind her,
When she's in the kitchen,
Where breakfast she's pitchin'
And using that damn sausage grinder!
--- Travis Brasell
It is better when calves have been fatted.
But if you're a femme
And the creme de la creme,
It is great when your fanny is patted.
--- Limber Limericks
Who loved giving his ringpiece a touch.
He'd use all sorts of objects,
Start all sorts of projects,
He once even used a crutch.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
(That fat assed young girl of the Met)
At the moment she bows,
To point out the lows,
I give on her fanny a pat.
--- Anon
When he said, "I espouse laissez faire."
She thought he meant political,
He really meant physical,
As he fondled her round derriere.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
With a solid young girl who was fat,
I then heard her utter,
"Would please pass the butter."
So I gave her a good hearty pat.
--- Tom Patton P0108
Tells customers, "Eat lots of veggies,"
Then sucks them all in,
Showing acres of skin,
And giving them sexual wedgies.
--- Armand Singer
Took up with a Prussian Hussar.
The refought the war
On her posterior,
All over terrain globular.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was liking sex better and better...
Her secret was this:
An anal French kiss
Just got her all wetter and wetter.
--- Ogni Gioia
Objected to boys who were crass.
And with manners slack,
If she turned her back,
He grabbed him a handfull of ass.
--- Chris Papa
Who got an unexpected feel;
She grabbed her ass
When she made a pass,
This girlfriend who accosted McNiel.
--- Ralph T Rehwoldt P2005
Most carved with bare chest, butt and tummy.
One five-year-old tot
Thought that rude -- quite a lot!
She spanked some old statue's bare bummy!
--- Anon
Took a horny young man to a dance.
But at intermission,
Without her permission,
He stuck his hands in her pants.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
When Sammy in one of his quirks
Pulled down her pants.
Then mid "Bravo!" type chants,
Cried, "That Hind Lick maneuver sure works!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Being bored, he decided to linger,
To explore for a while,
A medium sized pile,
And a boil that was a super humdinger.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You must give it the old college try.
Say a prayer, if you please,
Put your head 'tween your knees,
And then you can kiss your ass goodbye!
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2301
Found German uncommonly harsh.
But when he felt flirty,
He'd quote good old Goethe,
Bellowing "Leck' mich im Arsch!"
--- Martin Guy
Saying no, would be an act of dissin'.
He puckers his lips,
Not giving two shits;
Says: Hey, look at the money you're missin!
--- Anon
Who went out with a girl called Annie.
His friend was called Rick
Who'd massage his own prick,
While licking the fanny of Annie.
--- HoorayHenry
"You have something nobody can match you on;
I'm referring, my dear,
To a place at the rear,
That it gives me such pleasure to pat you on."
--- Larry Wilde
Who said to a maid as he kissed her,
"I'm partially blind
But I think your behind
Resembles the one on your sister."
--- Alsops Foibles
Who, when giving the members a rub,
Sometimes would botch
His job on the crotch,
But on asses he never would flub.
--- Limericks Naughty & Gay
Who went on a date with a dude.
When he patted her duff,
She cried: "That's enough!
I won't stand for anything crude."
--- William K Alsop Jr
It's the tall girl that most men adore.
Yet the girl who's petite
Has as pretty a seat
Which you don't have to reach as far for.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9102
That I promised that I'd quickly halt.
It really looks bad;
I feel like a cad--
But this is my only asphalt.
--- Al Willis P9506
At those lasses who must wear glasses.
Then why is it true,
That I have seen you
Quite frequently pat those girls' asses?
--- Marlene Lewis
She doesn't mind grouches or crabbers.
But like most of her sex
She firmly objects
To the lecherous patters and grabbers.
--- John E Mayhood P9711
(Though Jesus, they're not holy nuns);
They just misunderstand
I could not keep my hand
From petting their bulging male buns.
--- Armand Singer
But my action, it seemed, had quite stunned her.
Yes, I'd make my attack
On her lovely outback,
When I reached out and pinched her down under.
--- Neal Wilgus P8611
Pinched Lady Windermere's fanny.
The lights were so low,
How could he know
She wasn't his nanny or granny?
--- Jim Jambor P9102
Who squeezed on the tits of a lass.
She said, "That won't do,
And although I don't screw,
I would rather you fondled my ass."
--- Bob Birch P0209
MORE