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There once was a lady from Butte He has plenty of nice muscle mass, For you Angela, my dear, My ass is a sight to be seen. My legs are worn down to a stump, Men seldom make many passes As long as a filly is fair, I once loved a girl in Eau Claire. I hope you will not take offense A platoon of the French Foreign Legion, (callipygian - beautiful ass)
The round rosy rear of Miss Greer, There was a young rump from Racine, I can't tell who's drunk and who's not; But why this poor lad would you scold? "Though flaws in her face are excessive, On the tits of a typist named Brenda, There was a young girl of Siberia My friend studies jeanology, An ode to a sweet, lovely lass, When she walks on the beach, my girl Tess, An expatriate Brit, called "Monsieur," As she milked in the fresh dairy air, From Bangor in Maine to Grants Pass, They nicknamed her "Mini-skirt Anny"; I can see that I need to be vicious A lissome young nympho named Anny "Got a hot little novel for sale. This bonnie wee Irish young lass The rear cheeks of a Chickie in Goshen There's a popular doxy from Syria There was a young girl named Irene A pallid young lady named Bright, My neighbors think that you're quite brave, Those hot tasty buns are a treat; Oh, God, just to look at that ass! The churchgoing lady has class; What's balanism? Capsules for cracks; (suppository use) There once lived a man named John There once was a maiden from Worcester. There once was a faggot named Ward, There was a young lady from Kent, An untutored Southwestern solon, Said a dame from society whose While out with Sir Alastair Burnett, I used to be worried a bit, There once was a boy named Joel, There was a young lady named Luby, There was a young fellow named Dennis Annually, February fourteen In case you should fart me a lung- Little Tommy, to enhance his erection, And I can't help but wonder, my friend, A lovely WAC captain named Val There was once a dumb bitch from Nantucket, There was a troubadour named Joel, When Angus was kicked out of Troon As a nurse, perhaps you have seen yer- With this, you will probably turn green, That reminds me of Rita von Heuge, There once was a lady named Harris, There once was a beach bum named Stan, Said the nurse to the patient, "Oh dear, A very big girl from Kentucky Guthrie, that big pasty-faced boob A man both disgusting and crass You thought, when I sat down to pee,
Whose butt was exceedingly cute.
Montanans of class
Who admired her ass,
Were thought of as very astute.
--- Anon
But has little style and no class.
And although upstairs
There is little but air,
She does like his cute little ass.
--- Peter
You have cutest sweet rear.
I'd shoot in a minute
If I were in it;
Would it help if I bought you a beer?
--- Anon
It's neither too fat nor too lean.
I'm told it's just right,
So round firm and tight...
So when you comment, don't be mean.
--- Beckie
But I'm keeping my eyes on your rump,
Which I'm eager to paddle
So jump off your saddle;
I'll give you my bicycle pump.
--- Anon
At girls who are wearing glasses,
Unless see-through shirts
And short mini-skirts
Don't hide those exceptional asses.
--- Al Lichtman
They sway of her round derriere
Will not way away
Unobserved any day...
As long as there's fellows to stare.
--- Grand Prix Lim 31
I left when she started to share
Her love, and I'm sure
He's still there with her,
Enjoying that fine dairy air.
--- Dennis Taylor
But use your own fine common sense.
He bought the cow;
You can go now
And get the milk through the fence.
--- Puff Adder
In an otherwise desolate region,
Met indigenous frails
With protuberant tails,
Ascertainably all callipygian.
--- R J Winkler P8406
Has been voted the "Arse of the Year",
By the nudists who know her,
And it's hailed, further mo-er,
By the pratwatcher, cocksman, and queer.
--- G0347
Whose bottom was lovely and keen.
No wiggle or shook,
It was hard as a book,
When it blossomed, I squirted my bean.
--- James Brynildsen
Especially this one little snot.
Was he drunk or just rude?
I know he was crude;
He told me my "butt was sure hot."
--- Marlene Lewis
Albeit, what he said was so bold?
You'd really turn red
If this lad had said,
"Hey, gal, your butt is sure cold!"
--- Travis Brasell
I wish now I'd been more aggressive,"
He was heard to say
As she walked away.
"In hind-sight, she is quite impressive!"
--- Anon
Were inscribed every kind of agenda;
And first names of her bosses,
Their profits and losses,
Were tattooed on her luscious pudenda.
--- G2272a
Who had such a tempting posterior,
That the Lapps and the Finns
Kept inventing new sins,
As the recognized types were inferior.
--- T S Eliot P0510Q
A kind of reversed phrenology;
He studies the bumps
Of blue-denimed rumps --
Or maybe that's asstrology.
--- Anon
Whose beautiful heart-shaped ass,
Pulsated, gyrated,
Kept me satiated,
And made me rise blast after blast!
--- Anon
Her rear shows a lovely excess.
Her cute bathing suit
Sends men in pursuit.
It's true that she has a largesse.
--- Al Willis a
Of women and song, connoisseur,
Said, "For pieces I've known,
'There's No Place Like Home.'
It's 'Londonderriere' I prefeur."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
She showed off her cute derriere,
Which drove the boys wild.
But she simply smiled,
And whistled the Londonderry Aire.
--- Murphy
Purists bad-mouth the feminine ass.
Well, on monkeys and such
I agree overmuch,
But thank God for a lush little lass!
--- G2354
The way she hooked men was uncanny.
But to be rudely frank,
She had but to thank
The magnificent shape of her fanny.
--- W V Parsons P9804a
To be rid of your spam injudicious,
But the thought of your gluteus,
So maximus beauteous
Makes my johnson enlarge, secretitious.
--- Anon
Is proud of her well-rounded fanny.
Its surging gyrations
Cause lustful sensations;
We'd hate to see Anny uncanny.
--- Grand Prix Lim 275 P8208
It's called 'Girl With The Forty-Inch Tail,'"
Said the bookseller, Joe.
I replied, "Thanks, but no.
I'll wait till it comes out in Braille."
--- Michael Weinstein P9406
Was endowed with great tits and nice ass.
But I had to leave her
Because of a fever,
And she had a problem with gas.
--- Al Willis T9710
Cause strong men to drool by their motion.
If they promise hot fire
Of gross sexual desire,
It is more of a FACT than a notion.
--- Grand Prix Lim 398
Whose front view could scarcely be drearier.
But your day she would cheer,
If observed from the rear;
Her success rests upon her posterior.
--- G0465
Whose ass was fit for a queen.
She was found in the nude
And successively screwed
By Merril Lynch, Fenner & Beane.
--- G2193a
Went to Spain on a cheap charter flight,
Where the sun overhead
Turned her skin a bright red,
Except for her ass which stayed white.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
'Cause one look made most of them rave.
"Look at that behind!
E'Gad! I've gone blind!"
Is that any way to behave?
--- Anon
This is file nmm
I'd sample if you'd be discreet.
I would be a dunce
To not try them just once...
I wonder how much I could eat?
--- Anon
How I hate to sound horny or crass,
But the view from the back
And the "frontal lobe" stack,
Make me want to go down on you fast!
--- Anon
Undivided attention at mass.
It's a difficult feat
To remain so discreet,
With the altar boy's thumb up her ass.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0504
Stick a medical aid that attacks
Some disease by design,
Where the sun doesn't shine.
There's your answer; the hole ball of wax.
--- Rory Ewins
Who loved to wear black leather thongs.
He quite loved the touch
Up his ass very much.
He put things where they didn't belong.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who farted each time I seduced her.
So the problem I'd handle
By using a candle
For plugging her bung till I juiced her.
--- Hugh Clary
Whose asshole was awfully bored;
He stowed his wife's car
And acoustic guitar,
In the organ where feces is stored.
--- David Miller Q
Who farted wherever she went.
She went to the fair,
And dropped a few there,
So they plugged her ass up with cement.
--- G1404
Couldn't tell his behind from a hole in
That good Texas ground,
Till the day that he found,
That oil wouldn't come out of his colon.
--- L1615
Big fat butt couldn't pass her do-dos,
"A colostomy? Sure,
It's a fashionable cure,
But the bag simply must match my shoes."
--- Don Moore P0102
I shouted: "Stand back, I'm a vet!"
He'd been attacked by the Greens,
I cried: "Quick nurse, the screens!"
And deftly removed the courgette.
--- Kevin Hale Q
When dread constipation would hit,
But Ecstasy pills
Have cured all my ills...
For now, folks, I don't give a shit.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Whose mom had the eyes of a mole.
He thought it quite rude,
When she gave him his food,
For she stuffed it in the wrong hole.
--- Uberfreak
Who swallowed a five pound ruby.
She bet me a buck
That it was stuck,
In the folds of her rectal tubie.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who'd felch 'em like nobody's binness.
And when he was drunk,
He'd gargle the spunk,
And make his head froth like a Guinness.
--- Anon
Brings a change to the sexual routine.
Not her twat or her tongue,
We just plug up her bung;
Anally, if you know what I mean.
--- Anon
Ful while working your puss with my tongue,
I shall bring some devices
In several sizes,
And fittings to stop up your bung.
--- Anon
Stuffed his ass with his marble collection.
When he'd start to come,
He'd squeeze tight his bum,
And shoot them in every direction.
--- John Chastaine
How far over did he make you bend,
To tickle your spleen.
Were you only fifteen?
Did you laugh or cry at the end?
--- Anon
Was well into bungholes, poor gal.
While lip-locking ass,
Her staff would pass gas,
Perversely enhancing morale.
--- H Welchel
Whose ass got stuck in her bucket.
Her husband said, "Dear,
I can't fuck from the rear!"
So he left her that night and said, "Fuck it."
--- Anon z
Who could not always move his bowel.
On the throne he would sit
(Though there came out no shit)
And said, "How can I open this hole?"
--- Sir Egad
For farting too loud, out of tune,
The big ignoramus
Plugged up his anus,
And now he's a weather balloon.
--- Michael Horgan
Self, some poor bloke with his wiener
Unfreeably stuck,
When he gave it a suck
With a Dust-Buster vacuum cleaner.
--- Tiddy Ogg
If I told you the things I have seen.
Flashlights, pipes, candles,
And umbrella handles,
And the cord of a sewing machine.
--- Kaylin
A chick from down south, Baton Rouge;
I'd have to unpack
Quite a stack from her crack,
Before I could splash her with splooge.
--- Hugh Clary
That nothing seemed to embarrass,
Till the bath salts she shook, (one day)
In the tub that she took, (where she lay)
Turned out to be plaster of Paris.
--- Ogden Nash A
Whose girl thought his pecker was grand.
When they screwed on the beach,
With balls slapping her breech,
He plugged up her asshole with sand!
--- Laurence Craft
Your symptoms are not very clear."
With his attention diverted,
She quickly inserted
The thermometer into his rear.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
Told everyone she was lucky.
She found in her ass,
After passing some gas,
Her long long long lost rubber ducky.
--- Aopos
Has a passion for an old test tube.
That long piece of glass
Found it's way up his ass;
Now he's considering Rubik's cube.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Poked a long rubber tube up his ass.
It wasn't the shit
That caused him to quit;
He was jailed for siphoning gas!
--- Red Cervicalli
You'd seen my repository.
The swing and the sway
You saw on that day,
Was just my suppository.
--- Archie
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