MORE
A zoo soldier out in his Jeep We turn to the novelist Dickens It's cold and the wind blows in gales; It's sheep that are popular here; In New Zealand, a youthful stock-yarder, Tiddy Ogg fucks sheep up their clackers; There once was a young man from Wence For the best of both worlds, James, I keep A Welshman who came from Caerphilly The old redneck, in court, is quite tense; The harlots of London are frightful, Said Ermintrude, "Tiddy, I'm blue, Erm only complains when my cock's My love like the ocean is deep Inflatable sheep? Well! What next? John Miller, Tiddy Ogg and Hugh, Said a leering old coot of Big Sandy, Oh dear, I'm an Aussie, you say, There was a young man called Tenniel; There once was a young man from Teep, I have this peculiar quirk, In Armenia dwelt quite a prude. In Wyoming -- where men are men; Now the sheep are my darlings, it's true. One more verse in praise of the sheep: There lived on the plain of Karroo The sheep Freddy keeps in his room Herd buggery? Very ambitious. Wyoming is that fellow's home, Said a sheep man with utter disgust, If garments of wool clog my sheep, Jeff from the land of Brazil It is my little kink, kind of neat; So many fixations 'bout sheep! To the bedroom, with sheep, came young Stu; From that one, I got the best laugh Ermintrude exclaimed: "Tiddy, you toad... I met this young stud with a Jeep; For sheep, once I've given a care- Shaggy Agnes, my four-legged pal, There's a little old man, name of Streep, The gal was deep in despair, I went down to the old county fair, The club has a dignified veep Dom was a webbie for Demon, An old miser was once heard to say, My best friends are now only sheep, My gonads are somewhat alarming; Sheep Fever! Oh no! Ega-a-a-a-ad! Happy's a sheep in Wyoming; There once was a laddie of Neep, On the talk show last night, Dr. Ellis, Where ever I go, where ever my place, There was a young man of Lapeer, Remember, while using your tool There once was a youngster named Tom, Ermintrude must be still unaware, The sheep, being sore from Tid's staff, A sheep in a field was alone Now that is why the good God made sheep; Nevada's where I man my keep. I stand pretty tall as I screw The old man has a really big gut; In the weak mind of Frigham Young Freep, Sheep contentedly munch on the grass A buggersome rancher named Reap
Encountered a field full of sheep.
He stoked up his ammo,
Dressed in full camo,
And into their midsts he did creep.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who prized shagging sheep for their kickin's.
'Cause ovine objections
Give stronger erections,
And they're roomier inside than chickens.
--- Lucy
I'll freeze in the hills or the dales.
So I'll risk stabbing pain
As my wrist gets a sprain,
As I dream of those sheep down in Wales.
--- Tiddy Ogg
We shag 'em and go for a beer.
Though cows are alright,
Sheep are more tight.
Its mutton we eat here, I fear.
--- Anon
Though he knows sheep are meant for the larder,
Will go give on a biff
On the edge of a cliff!
Why? 'Cause is pushes back harder.
--- Mike Dale
He's from a long line of poo-packers.
He waits 'til their shorn,
Inserts his big horn,
And then empties both of his knackers.
Who's fondness for sheep was immense.
A flock he did spy
So he undid his fly,
But his balls got caught on the fence.
--- Judd
A dog to look after the sheep;
To lick me, then round
Up the flock once I've found
A nice ewe to plunge in real deep.
--- Anon
Had a habit that was very silly.
From the bushes he'd leap
Upon unsuspecting sheep,
And give them the length of his willy.
--- Taff
He's on trial for a sordid offense;
"Cross my heart, hope to die;
Oh, Your Honor, please, I
Was just helping the sheep o'er the fence!"
--- Anon
And the fairies, the bastards, are spiteful.
But I'm not in a heat,
For I happened to meet
A sheep in Hyde Park. 'Twas delightful.
--- G1792
Ever since you acquired that tattoo,
Of a female and her lamb,
So neglected, I am."
Said Tiddy to Erm, "I love ewe!"
--- Observer
Worn out from servicing my flocks.
And I cannot must-
Er the adequate gust-
O to have a good bang at her box.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And I do find it hard when I sleep.
For our Union I yearn
But I have one concern --
Does it mean I must give up my sheep.
--- Al Chaplin P8605
You must be real desperate for sex,
To buy one of those.
But perhaps David knows,
If they take Mastercard or Amex.
--- Tiddy Ogg Q
Plus Archie, SFA and Wiz too;
Have date-raped a barn!
Just did not give a darn,
About invitin' along "You-know-who."
--- David Miller
"While I think a woman is dandy,
I keep a few sheep...
They are willing...and cheap,
And in a hot rush, mighty handy.
--- Grand Prix Lim 720
Though it's not quite the real Aussie way,
To romance a sheep
While your lady's asleep;
That's the Kiwi's most famed way to play.
--- Mystelle
At the back of a sheep he would kneel.
He like that the most.
At the pub he would boast
But the sheep his small dick didn't feel.
--- Gaz Perch
Whose morals had long gone to sleep.
If no ladies were near
Nor a gentleman's rear,
He would banish his ardour with sheep.
--- C M
For in bushes and hedges I lurk,
And on hearing a sheep,
I will suddenly leap
From the shrubbery, ready to jerk.
--- Anon
He would never get into the mood,
Except once every spring,
When sheep shearing would bring
A big hard-on from seeing them nude.
--- Don Moore P0402
The sheep are scared out of the pen.
On wild wide range
The sight may seem strange
But we're used to it -- then again?
--- Anon
It's what I use when I want a screw.
They wriggle and buck
As I give them a fuck,
Until I'm busted by the boys in blue.
--- Taff
You'll find there's no need to be neat;
You don't need a suit on,
When dating a mouton,
Just big boots to take her rear feet.
--- Anon
A dependable sheep farmer who
Often lost three hours sleep
To take care of his sheep,
Though she wished he would lose only two.
--- David A Brooks Q
Is no doubt a pet, we presume,
Though he murmurs with pride
Of his lovely new bride,
And refers to himself as a groom...
--- Grand Prix Lim 351
When choosing the breed, be judicious:
No gnus is good gnus,
Just try lambs or ewes,
For lascivious cravings pernicious.
--- Anon
Where mule deer and antelope roam.
He snuggles with sheep
Because it is cheap --
He does not need a spermicide foam.
--- Anon
"My love life is really a bust.
Since they are cloning,
Ewes are bemoaning;
It has taken the thrill from my thrust."
--- Tom Patton P9705
I set them aside in a heap.
Let the winter winds blow
As sheep-fucking I go,
Though the snow may be ever so deep.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1179
Found a lone sheep on the hill.
He tried and he tried
To spread its ass wide,
But wooly fucker wouldn't hold still.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
You're looking real good and complete.
Can you do me a favor
So this I can savour,
Instead of moaning, just bleat.
--- Spinner
This is file nmk
Such fables! I'd say talk is cheap;
That wool looks so scratchy;
What gives?... Nice plump snatchie!
I hope they don't talk in their sleep!
--- Anon
Said, "This is the cow that I screw,
When you want to sleep."
Wife said, "That's a sheep!"
Said he, "Wasn't talking to you."
--- Tiddy Ogg
Since Daddy was screwing a calf
And the milking stool broke
On the very last stroke,
When I was just two and a half.
--- John Miller
It's about time that you hit the road!
'Cause it drives me beserk
When I get home from work,
And you've sheep on the end of your choad."
I moistened and longed for him deep.
I went to his ranch;
I gave him carte blanche,
But he'd only get up for his sheep!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
ful tupping, the payback is fair.
There's cash for their trimmin',
Far better than women;
You only get underarm hair.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Sure surpasses an ordinary gal.
With her feet in my boots,
How she wiggles and scoots!
Sort of like what they call petit mal.
--- Allen Wolverton
Who the neighbors all think is a creep.
He always is horny,
His books are all porny,
Which he reads to his large flock of sheep.
--- Tom Patton P0107
'Cause all the cowboys from there
Wear rubber boots
In the hot pursuit
Of sheep who are running quite scared.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But I got in some trouble down there.
Some alcohol ingested,
Some sheep were molested,
And I sure gave those chickens a scare!
--- Clint Bement
Who has trouble when trying to sleep.
He just has found out,
Without any doubt,
His son has been screwing with sheep.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503
And sheep were his pride and his dream-on.
To wash them in milk
And dress them in silk,
Then fill them right up with his semen.
--- Dominic Ramsey
After roll Number One in the hay:
"This is nowhere as cheap
As my usual sheep,
Yet I think sex may be here to stay."
--- G1313
A step up from Little Bo Peep;
See, up in my loft,
They're docile and soft;
They don't say, "And you call that deep?"
--- Mark Levy
My prostate is fit for embalming.
My todger is twisted;
My testicles blistered --
I'll have to give up the sheep farming.
--- Anon
Could be caught by only a ca-a-a-a-d!
How would it show?
Would everyone know?
I think that I'm feeling b-a-a-a-d.
--- Les Stewart
The cowboys who live there go roaming.
They don't mess with Bess;
Most sheep cause less stress.
Those 'boys are not into downhoming.
--- Anon
Who demanded everything cheap.
When he wanted to screw,
There was nothing to do
But take out his passion on sheep.
--- L0624
The sex shrink, took two hours to tell us,
It's all right to enjoy,
A rosy-cheeked boy,
So long as your sheep don't get jealous.
--- John Ciardi
With many a vow and locked embrace.
A fistfull of wool,
A rearward pull;
Those sheep have such a pretty face!
--- Oddo Von Schlong T9711
Renowned as a fine engineer.
He invented a kit
So the sheep wouldn't shit,
While he made an approach from the rear.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1157
On females who still go to school,
You can't go as deep
As you do with a sheep,
And they don't bleat as loud, as a rule.
--- John Miller
Who got a hard slap from his mom,
For pounding his crotch,
While daring to watch
The stuff on sheepshagger.com.
--- Tiddy Ogg
That soon after she left for the Fair,
Tiddy locked all the doors!
Then went through her drawers,
And dressed sheep in her silk underwear.
--- David Miller
Said "Let's tell Erm just for a laugh!"
But being ironic
With speed super-sonic,
Tid throttled them with a woolen scarf.
--- David Miller
And the Welshman had a huge bone.
As no one was in sight,
He gave it a fright,
And now all his seeds have been sown.
--- Taff
To comfort a man and to keep
A spare thing to shag
When his girl's on the rag,
Or feigning a headache and sleep.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Our here there's a whole lot of sheep.
But if you want to screw
Either ram, lamb, or ewe,
You'll need a step-stool and a Jeep!
--- John Miller
Young lambs and their big mommas. True,
I do have to stretch
But no cause to kvetch,
'Cause my horn is pretty big too.
--- John Miller
His sheep would be loving him, but
The over-large size
Of his butt and his thighs,
Means that he gets stuck in a rut.
--- Marlene Lewis
His one thought of sex is with sheep.
But each time, when he's through,
He gobbles lamb stew --
What a half-cannibal, half-crazy creep!
--- Grand Prix Lim 622 G1240
Until, as it may come to pass,
Mr Ogg passes by;
Then's heard this outcry:
"Heads up, girls! And cover your ass!"
--- Anon
Remarked as he ravished a sheep:
"I'm hoping I shall
Someday hump a gal,
But their neither as tight or as cheap!"
--- Larry Wilde
MORE