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You can count on me, I won't fail.
You like bleating? I won't moan or wail.
I just wish it would last;
You are simply too fast,
With two shakes of your lamb's tail.
--- Karen

There was an man from Poole
Who had sheep on the end of his tool.
He thought it quite larkish
To use its anal starfish,
Although his neighbors all thought it cruel.
--- Richard

Uncouth? Oh, no, sir, he's couth!
If you think I'm not telling the truth,
You just ask those sheep
If he falls asleep,
Or nibbles their ears with one tooth.

A young vicar from Canterbury
Who boned sixteen sheep in a hurry.
He was tending his flock
While inserting his cock:
"Why the hell are these things so damn furry?"
--- Lims For Year - 01

Ermintrude said, "Tiddy, you creep!
When we go to bed you just sleep!
You won't touch me, ergo
You are still a 'Virgo",
If we don't count the goats or your sheep."
--- David Miller

If you want virgin wool, you must plan
And the flock you must carefully scan.
Shear the sheep that are fleet,
Which are quick on their feet,
And run faster than sheepherders can.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1173

Mr Fisher confessed to his priest:
"I'm afraid that I've been an old beast.
My kink is to peep
Shearers fucking sheep --
But discretion I practice at least!"
--- Anon

Welsh farmers are known to like sheep,
Though not in the style of Bo Peep.
They're hands-on it seems,
Which leads to sweet dreams,
For the exercise helps them to sleep.
--- David Axton

A gal I was nearly betrothing
Complained that I filled her with loathing,
'Cause since she was born,
She hadn't been shorn
And I was a wolf in sheep's clothing.
--- SFA

A Wyoming rancher would creep
Out at night to inseminate sheep.
He had to feel fleece
Before he could release,
Now his wife wears wool panties to sleep.
--- Anon

A slavering pervert named Benny
Sought pleasure in Abergavenny;
His bestial urges
Led him to grass verges;
His girlfriends were wooly and many.
--- Anon

As innocent as I was born,
I'd never seen, heard, or read porn.
But boy, I got hot,
When I saw the twat
Of sheep Barbara when she'd been shorn.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Beause of the war in the news,
Most ladies ignore their lim's muse,
And rather than writing,
They're watching the fighting,
And I'm left alone with the ewes.
--- Travis Brasell

But make no mistake, no complaints
From me wil you hear, nor restraints
By me will I place
On my boffing pace
Of ewes, unless I tear their taints.
--- Travis Brasell

Your mind is so very productive;
I knew you'd do something constructive,
Like fucking some ewes,
While we watch the news.
Those taints must be awfully seductive.
--- Carol

At my age, a 'taint' grows much dearer,
And always I want one much nearer!
If you want to know
How yours is, then go
And spread your legs over a mirror.
--- Travis Brasell

Three parts to Animal Husbandry.
Part two is Animal Wifery.
And since some farms have ewes
And men sometimes ewes use,
Part three is Animal Buggery.
--- Irving Superior P9011

If I were a buxom young ewe,
And could choose between three for a screw,
An Aussie or Kiwi
Or Mac with a wee-wee,
I'd run fifty miles, wouldn't you?
--- Rick Limer T9711

"They started cloning, it's true,"
He remarked to his favorite ewe.
"Don't feel neglected
When I'm not erected;
It will always be another you."
--- Tom Patton P9705

Our Tiddy once fancied a screw
With Farmer Jock's favorite ewe.
But just as we'd thought,
The bugger got caught
And had a ball made into stew.
--- SFA

While cloning a beast for a jolly,
Angus said of the sheep he called Dolly,
"Though I'm used to a bitch
When I get the itch,
She's better than Collie, by Golly!
--- Irish

Ermintrude said to her friend Sue,
"I've just caught my Tiddy kissing ewe;
Then threatened the sheep's life
And his with a knife.
So now they are both in a stew.
--- David Miller

You want a sheep doll for your stash?
Why, Tiddy, you're brazen and brash!
That factory ain't spastic;
They'll sure take your plastic,
But Sheep Dolly only wants cash.
--- Q

No help do I get from my Muse;
The bastard's too fond of the booze;
And I just cannot think
With a Muse full of drink,
Who's tryin' to chat-up my ewes.
--- David Miller Q

Those shepherds who watch flocks by night,
Are often turned on by the sight
Of succulent ewes,
Who never refuse,
To do what the shepherd thinks right.
--- Anon

Shagging a sheep is okay;
It passes a long lonely day.
But turn them to the front,
You can still reach their cunt,
Plus kissing is easier this way!
--- Tiddy Ogg

As the nearsighted pervert once drew it,
"There's a right and a wrong way to do it."
But he said, unperplexed,
"Though the ewe was quite vexed,
If I can see it, I screw it."
--- Nat Koch

A farmer from Saskatchewan,
Whose life was devoid of all fun,
Was rumored to woo
A two-year-old ewe,
Who was also doing his son.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The chairman of the Hicks County Grange,
Spends lots of time riding the range,
He, out of the blue
Fell in love with a ewe;
He's not queer, but he surely is strange.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407

The shepherd has his favorite ewe,
And to her alone does he remain true.
But his amour lanate,
An unlikely playmate,
Turns fickle when her ram wants to screw.
--- Norm Brust

Archie is fond of ewe wool,
More so, when he has the ewe full
Of what otherwise,
He'd stick in a vise,
And treat to a bloody good pull.
--- Archie

There once was an Aussie named Bruce,
Whose morals, with sheep, were quite loose.
He buggered a ewe
From Wooloomooloo
And filled it right up with his juice.
--- CyberCelt T9711

Hey-ho-diddle-diddle, the cow
Jumped over the moon and said "Wow!
I've got a great view
Of Ogg and his ewe;
I'm glad it's not me down there now!
--- Travis Brasell

This is file nlk

The shepherds were having their cookout,
When, suddenly, Flo, the flock's lookout,
Warned: "Ewes run and hide --
The head-shepherd, Clyde,
With lessons from Ogg, pulled his crook out!"
--- Anon

I'm sorry Wizard's taken offence,
We can sense that his hurt is immense;
But is it really true
About him and that ewe?
Or was he just helping her thru the fence.
--- Anon

That big one o'er there made of wood?
She was stuck half way through it, but good.
I failed, it is true,
To free that sweet ewe,
though I pushed just as hard as I could.
--- Cyber Wizard

There was a young shepherd named Jones
Who developed an ache in the stones.
But he knew what to do,
So he screwed an old ewe
Till the hillside re-echoed her groans.
--- G1261

In the pasture the sheepherder Ray,
Wearing hip boots will work through the day.
When a ewe needs a treat,
He will stuff her hind feet
In his boots so she can't get away.
--- Phil Cannibal P9012

It seems that a man named Heep,
Sates his lust on a flock of young sheep.
He used to screw whores,
Till afflicted with sores,
He said, "Ewes are clean, and they're cheap!"
--- Anon

Sheep follow shepherds for the fodder,
And I follow sheep, which is odder;
'Cause I'll choose a young ewe,
Who'll not refuse to screw,
No matter how often I prod her.
--- Anon

Ermintrude said, "Tiddy, you creep!
It's your sinfulness makes me weep;
I'm left in the lurch;
While I go to church,
You stay at home fucking the sheep!"
--- David Miller

Said Tiddy, as he waved his big cock,
Which he banged for effect on a rock,
"Dear Erm, please don't bicker,
'Cause me and the Vicar
Both called it 'Improving our Flock.'
--- David Miller

A shepherd named Jim Fitzhugh,
Said to his sweetheart, "It's true.
Nothing is moister
Than a fresh oyster,
Unless, of course, it is ewe.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

During a visit from old farmer Chad,
I saw something making me mad.
"What's that guy on the hill
Doing with your sheep, Bill?"
He said, "It's okay, its my da-a-a-a-ad!"
--- Bleek

King Wenceslas went to the mountain,
You've heard it, near St Agnes' fountain,
The peasant there, true,
Had many a ewe,
And most of 'em Wency was mountin'.
--- Anon

I think he should go somewhere warmer;
Perhaps an electric transformer,
And then a big spark
Will leave its grim mark,
Like a doodling and old cuniformer.
--- Anon

It was quite a fine lookin' ewe
That, last night, I attempted to screw.
But, three sheets to the wind
I couldn't get it in
So I kissed her and bid her adieu.
--- Anon

I hope you enjoyed, sir, your sleep.
Perhaps in your brain, it will seep
The thought: with a full
Mouth of, not hair, but wool,
You must have been shagging a sheep.
--- Anon

They tell me that I shouldn't covet
My neighbor's sheep, but I love it.
She looks so appealing;
My dick gets that feeling,
And up her warm twat I must shove it.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was a young shepherd named Lew
Who fell much in love with a ewe.
He gave her a ring;
They married last spring.
He says she'll be better in stew.
--- Ray Hemphill

A shepherd boy minding the flock,
Lusty thoughts trying to block,
Sighed, "Once I was used
To just minding the ewes,
But now what's on my mind is a shock."
--- Val Burns P0609

"This plot," said old Farmer McGraw,
"I hold in great reverence and awe.
For here on the grass
I had my first piece of ass,
While her mother stood by and said 'Baa'."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 G1275

Oh my God, the pure thought that I bugger
My sweet ewe, who provides so much succor
To the entire village.
And to quote rotten silage
On our tools is offensive; we suck her.
--- Anon

Agnes need not face clif or crevasse;
She can stand any place, munching grass;
With two hands clutching wool,
You just give her a pull;
Just take care, don't fall back on your ass.
--- Allen Wolverton

The sheep that I fucked last September,
Within me has left a hot ember.
Though I look every day
I can't find the same lay;
Her vagina is hard to remember.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3010

"Sheepshaggers Unite!" is the chant,
But sorry, dear fellows, I can't
Join forces with you
To roger that ewe.
I know that I should but I shan't.
--- SFA

When blocked, I just goes for a ram
With Ewenice, my sheepish Madam.
For when I am through
With that gorgeous young ewe,
It's mutton that's dressed-up as lamb.
--- Anon

Observer's observing with views
From hillsides before he pursues
What all real men treasure:
That moment of pleasure
Derived from the plowing of ewes.
--- Peter Wilkins

Do it like New Zealanders do,
Whenever addressing their ewe.
On the edge of a cliff,
They'll give her a biff;
She'll push back much harder then, too.
--- Spru

My sheep, Milly's missing, said Sam.
She's certainly not with the ram.
Perhaps she's with child
Or just running wild.
Either way, the old girl's on the lamb.
--- Anon

The shepherd, to ward off the blues,
Tries flocking, and sheepishly screws.
"Are the stars out tonight?"
He sings in his plight.
"I only have eyes for ewes."
--- Cunning Linguist

To the Church, the shepherd was neat
Until his prize ewe came in heat.
Though aware it was sin,
He slid his tongue in,
For the taste of her lips was so sweet.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Throughout this old world, there's bad news,
And folks have political views
That can cause great angst.
But I get a gangst
Of joy from my pacifist ewes.
--- Travis Brasell

You all know I find sheep real cute,
And jism in many I'll shoot.
But now I fear doom
For they know who is whom.
I await the paternity suit.
--- Tiddy Ogg

For you, sheep bonking is new;
A female should not pick a ewe.
Ewe must pick a ram,
Into ewe it will slam,
While your ewes are wet in the dew.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A horny old UN ambassador
Took advice from his friend, Commodore.
He brought in a ewe,
And started to woo,
While receiving instructions in semaphore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young laddie from Crewe
In love with the family ewe...
They slaughtered the lamb,
Then cooked her with ham.
They found the lad's cream in the stew.
--- Ogni Gioia


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