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For bankrupted patient George Drake, My doctor said, "You better drop The renowned Polish surgeon, Jan Cess, How could you let someone nob it? Could this be merely a fable? Which gender, a boy or a girl, That tune you can play on your crack, Do you really want 42D's? Do your pantyhose gussets get wet If you'd kept all your tackle intact Now to give yourself self-saatisfaction, As a man, I was having no luck; With my old kit, I'd really get flustered. To be petted I've yet to enjoy, No regrets do I have of new gender, A man with a very long foreskin Not the least 'cause the skin was donated A cross-eyed doctor named Gene, A homosexual fellow named Preston, The great Glasgow surgeon McSidney, There was a young doctor from Barts, All the nurses the man was haranguing, Of all the transplantings there are, I once knew a girl named Lorraine S.; I know you don't think this is true, They stitched a new gland into Mose, Mose's wife cried, "I'd not give two pins, He admits his appearance is shoddy, Since transplanting has proved to be viable, A transplant that no one would dare -- A competent surgeon named Banting The bride of a man of Lapeer, Infected the rear end of Lum, Said an eager young surgeon from Souling, A young campanologist belle As the young bearded lady looked strange, The Nantucket man hired a surgeon, A cowardly harelip named Chip, Ah, Vienna, the fortress of Freud! A timid bricklayer named Walter For a lady, a surgeon named Polk She married a fellow named Frick A young man, whose name we won't mention, Remember that lady from Ryde, Alas, it was only a dream Said the doctor, "I'm sorry the stunt He continued, "We need something drastic. So he gave her a quick anaesthetic And while he was tweaking her clit, He smoothed out the lumps and the glitches, He charged up the batteries to last When she woke, he explained with a smirk This story, dear reader, I've penned Poor Peter sounds definetly mad; The doctor said "No-one is finer, A balding young man named McNair, Well the sex-change was a great success, There once was a guy (now Christine) In these days of grafts and transplants, When they came to arrest Mr. Dodd I once had a girl named Dolores, I feel like I was violated A pitiful case is young Rex A skillful young surgeon named Grogg, While some of the folks who know Jim, They tried to use Jim's tiny penis,
Some 400 grand is at stake,
But the credulous giver
Of one-half of his liver,
Gets less than 10K of the take.
--- Armand Singer
In at our body shop
And select a used heart
From our state of the art
Transplants, in case yours should stop."
--- Dorman John Grace P9503
(Though you'd never believe it, I guess)
Won his first Nobel prize,
Purest gold, largest size,
For his hemorrhoid transplant success.
--- Armand E Singer 6X
Or permit some old doctor to rob it?
I guess planned ones are better
Than a surprise go-getter,
Like what Lorena did to old Bobbitt.
--- Res Ipsa
That the surgeons had you on their table?
Are you both penile and clittic?
Are you hermaphroditic?
To fuck yourself, are you now able?
--- Peter W
Is most likely to make your toes curl.
When you come, do you mess
Up the front of your dress?
Can you give your new nipples a twirl?
--- Peter W
Is it 'Air on a G-string' dear Jack?
Did your minge have the mange
After gender exchange?
Is you innermost body-part slack?
--- Peter W
Do they blacken your eyes when you sneeze?
Do your nipples get firm
When you play with your worm?
Do your flaps flap around in the breeze?
--- Peter W
With excitement whenever you pet?
Do you squat when you piss?
Can you answer me this --
Is your sex-change a cause for regret?
--- Peter W
And just added a crack, it's a fact,
You would have an excuse
To enjoy self abuse,
With the parts that the other half lacked.
--- Peter W
You must take immediate action.
Go stitch back your dick
And your nuts pretty quick,
And start screwing yourself to distraction.
--- Peter Wilkins
Twice a year I'd go pay for a fuck.
Now with 42D's,
I can fuck when I please,
And no longer feel like some poor schmuck.
--- Jack
It was wee. It could not cut the mustard.
Not your big fellow.
A coward. Quite yellow.
In it I was fucking dis-custard.
--- Jack
With either a girl or a boy.
So I whistle at sailors
And nurses and tailors.
Do you think I am being too coy.
--- Jack
'Cept toilets, when out on a bender.
I find when I sit
That I'll often shit,
Which is making my anus quite tender.
--- Jack
Said, "Doc, I'll be needing some more skin..."
So they did a quick graft
On the hood of his shaft;
Now he's in the Book of Folklore Skins.
--- Tutta Gioia
By a woman with lobes elongated.
The size of her ears
Drew pointing and sneers.
She was punctual -- they were belated.
--- Ogni Gioia
Performed surgury as a routine.
The transplant for Sydney
Was for a new kidney,
But he ended up with a new spleen.
--- Tom Patton P9704
Had hair transplanted to his lower intestine.
Though exceedingly fine
In the buggery line,
It severely impeded digestion.
--- L0505
Was convinced if he transferred a kidney,
From a whale to a conger,
It would piss a lot longer.
He could not have been wronger. It didna.
--- Anon
An expert in replacing parts.
With a kidney or liver,
He is a life giver,
But does nothing for folks' broken hearts.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
On the desk he was constantly banging.
"I want my sex change!
An organ exchange!"
But the poor guy, they just left him hanging.
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Most famous of all by far -
From Ireland, the town,
Of Limerick, renowned,
Transplanted to Berkeley, CA. (Moffet, CA.)
--- Irving Superior
Her gut gave her many complaints, yes.
Her doctor, a quack,
Anaesthetized her with smack,
And now the girl's mouth is her anus!
--- Kristen Coughlin T9711
But you know, this could happen to you.
But the bright side of it,
Though she vomits her shit,
She works out her butt while she chews.
--- Kristen Coughlin T9711
But some untoward symptoms arose.
When he fingered a quiff,
It made his ears stiff,
And he always would come through his nose.
--- Anon
For our chances to breed kiths or kins!"
But Mose sank to his knees,
And managed a sneeze,
And now he's the father of twins.
--- Anon
His lawn is more seedy than soddy;
But an organ or two
Transplanted, won't do,
Where's the list to sign up for a body?
--- Ann Gasser P9503
And my dong's been less plied that pliable,
Why not graft, as a ringer,
My trusty third finger,
Which, these days, is far more reliable.
--- G2225
A transplant from my pubic hair.
Now girls come afar
To 'oooh' and to 'aaah'
And minature orgasms share.
--- Irving Superior P9503
Was known for his raving and ranting;
When paged by a bell,
He let out a yell
And said, "You damn fool, I'm transplanting!"
--- P8305
Removed her fake tits, teeth and gear.
So he said with a frown,
As her panties came down,
When you get to the cunt, throw it here.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1803a
So Doctors must amputate some.
And then, sacrosanct,
An anus transplant,
The very first resurrectum.
--- Irving Superior P8305
This is file nil
"So far, we have only been fooling.
Soon it won't vex us,
To change both the sexes,
It's simply a case of retooling."
--- Playboy Book Lim G0262
Rang the bells of St. Thomas so well,
That St. Agnes said, "Why
Don't you give us a try?"
"Guess I could ring the changes", said Nell.
--- Anon
P.T. Barnum was quick to arrange
To have her appear.
If she showed up next year,
She'd probably have a sex change.
--- A N Wilkins P8711
Who remodeled his ear; made it burgeon;
But it all went for naught,
For the drum was so taut,
He remained an auricular virgin.
--- Ed Potts P8507
With girls never had a friendship.
So they took a skin graft
From foreskin on his shaft,
And now he keeps a stiff upper lip!
--- Laurence Craft
Whose surgeons are always employed.
Where boys with soft hands
Are provided with glands,
And two-fisted girls are de-boyed.
--- G2543
Would always whistle and falter
At women passing by,
And the occasional guy
Whose parts were surgically altered!
--- Marcus
Switched her cunt and her mouth for a joke.
It was not all amiss --
She was more fun to kiss,
But she raised up her dress when she spoke.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2234
Whose mouth had been switched with his prick.
There was no sixty nine
But they got along fine,
When they found ninety-six did the trick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2235
Had a transplant to lower his tension.
At the beat of his heart,
He'd let out a fart,
And his penis would snap to attention.
--- Anon
Who came with a rocket inside,
And shot into space
With a smile on her face,
And said, "Heavens! I think I have died."?
--- PeterW
That she had, but it really did seem
That she'd felt in her minge
Something more than a twinge.
She said, "Time for another new scheme?"
--- PeterW
With the rocket didn't work. I'll be blunt;
When the fireworks exploded,
It further eroded
You clitoris, G-spot, and cunt.
--- PeterW
We'll fashion a cunt out of plastic
And stitch on a clit
Which vibrates as you sit."
She said, "Doctor, that's really fantastic!"
--- Peter Wilkins
And found a vagina synthetic;
Transplanted her clit
And enlarged it a bit,
Until it looked neat and aesthetic.
--- PeterW
He decided to check out the fit.
So he tried her vagina
But thought that a minor
Adjustment was needed to it.
--- PeterW
And sewed in a few hundred stitches.
Before he did that,
He inserted some batt-
eries linked to a number of switches.
--- PeterW
For a couple of months at full blast.
Then he labelled the switches,
But wondered "Now which is
The "Stop" and the "Slow" and the "Fast".
--- PeterW
How the batteries and switches should work.
"I love you", she said,
As she switched on the red
One which caused her whole body to jerk.
--- PeterW
Just for fun. Will you finish the end?
But I guess the bitch is
Still pressing the switches,
And guess what is missing, my friend!
--- PeterW
The situation is now so sad.
She doesn't need her
Lonely old peter,
With her batteries and switches. Egad!
--- Arden
At this job, for I'm the best gynae-
Cologist here,
So you need have no fear,
We'll give you a real good vagina."
--- Anon
Patched his pate with the snatch of a bear.
Said he, "A shampoo,
Is as good as a screw,
And I come when I'm combing my hair."
--- Anon
Though the clit's still a bit of a mess.
When I see young girls
It kinda uncurls,
And flagpoles the front of my dress.
--- Anon
Whose gender embarrassed his scene.
But when surgury complex
Cuntradicted his sex,
One could see he's cut out for a queen.
--- Anon X
A guy really takes quite a chance.
Are the charms of his toots
Really hers to the roots,
Or are they from one of his aunts?
--- Anon
On charges of lewdness and fraud,
He had undergone surgery
And committed no perjury
When he said, "Mr. Dodd is a broad."
--- Jim Weaver Collection X
Who had a five inch pink clitoris.
The sight of your life,
'Twas cut with a knife
From a bearded transvestite named Boris.
--- Coolbreeze
Each time that she humped and fellated.
The surgeon who changed her
And thus rearranged her
As female, should be commendated.
--- Anon
With his bulgingly masculine pecs
And biceps the size
Of a weightlifter's thighs,
For he's thinking of changing his sex.
--- Peter Wilkins
The pussy removed from a hog.
In a whore 'twas installed,
And the men said, enthralled,
"This is better than fucking the dog."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1144
Do you think it might be a him.
If you check with the rest
They will point to one breast,
Which dangles way down to a quim.
--- Ward Hardman
As a site for a tube intravenous,
But the needle was bigger!
How the nurses did snigger,
Comparing his pubes to Venus.
--- Ward Hardman
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