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Jim's too butchered by now to correct 'em. There was a young lady from Tuphet, A sex-mad young satyr named Toby, A great surgical genius named Taylor There was a trans-sexual chappy, The new Miss America's a fraud; If asked, are there man-things you miss? There once was a man who's named Grady; When Christine was George one fine autumn, (Christine Jorgensen had sex change operation early '50's)
Our poor Jimmy has been in a snit, He's tried raising some cash as a whore, The transplant most wanted by SHE - There was a young fellow named Walter Inclined as you are to penisectomy, "Doc, will I need some morphine?" A fanciful fellow named Milt There once was a young man named Chris, Why women live seven years more? His folks wired back: "Dearest Daughter, There was a young person named Clarence, On the gender they really do want, I'd like to possess just a slit, A sex change removed both his stones. We all know the word "Apendectomy", Said a colorless dyke, "There no kick to me. Diabolical surgeon, Doc Bunce, Whilst staying just south of Milan, There was a young fellow from Beverly A surgeon named Timothy Morgan, To the doc went a fellow named Schule There was a sad hunter named Ware, Have you heard of the big Texas Ranger Here's Constable Julia Bird To the doc went a fellow named Jock A wretched young man from La Porte, You may think my story is bunk, The guy with the elephant's putz, I came home last night just to check her; She went on to say, "Ain't that rich? A soldier who came from East Rockaway A bisexual person of Trail A penurious Frenchman named Breep A penurious Frenchman named Bratis A penurious Frenchman named Bost An old man who lived by the Nile There was an old man of Cajon, When Smith caught his cock in some gears, On a heart transplant, patient Tom Mather, There was a young butcher named Spicer, He met an old sailor named Pete When Spicer attempted to lay, In a gene exchange mixup, young Neal For a sex change operation I wait A young sapphic nun from St. Wister, A shy plastic surgeon named Jack (hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself - McW)
There was a young lady called Fran Whenever he plays with his sword, An epicure dining at Crewe His monkey-glands made poet Yeats, The glands of a monkey may be A penurious Frenchman named Brie, My sweetie vacationed overseas; At her house I did intrude, In the place where my head used to rest Below her hairy love triangle, I didn't quite know what to say You shouldn't laugh or be rude,
(Is that hole a vagina or rectum?)
He played one of the bitches,
'Fore they took out the stitches,
And diplays an odd sexual spectrum.
--- Ward Hardman
Whose box was so huge none could stuff it.
They transplanted the twidget,
Of a rather small midget.
Now she's known as Little Miss Muffet.
--- Anon
Set up shop in the town of Nairobi,
Where, to worn out old tarts,
He sold brand-new parts,
Which he cleverly made of adobe.
--- G0683
Grafted tits on the back of a sailor.
If his ass had held out,
There is hardly a doubt
That the cash would have filled up a whaler.
--- G1063
Who thought, as a girl he'd be happy.
While under the knife,
He said, "It's my life,
And Doc, would you please make it snappy!"
--- David Miller
From Florida not Kansas, by God!
She raged and she ranted
Till her breasts were implanted;
Could it be that her true name is Claude?
--- Tom Patton P9701
One's standing upright for a piss,
And shagging the asses
Of poor country lasses,
And watching them slurp down my jis..!
--- Anon
Sexually a little bit shady.
Fucked up in the head;
With surgery instead,
He's now not a man but a lady.
--- Troy Walla
A great many ladies had sought 'im.
Where he was once on top,
She has turned a full flop,
And she now spends her time on the bottom.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1932
Since he traded his dong for a slit.
Says mad Jim, "I'd a whim
To acquire me a quim.
Now I've only one ball and one tit."
--- Anon
But he's currently lacking allure.
He's considered tenth-rate,
In both gay bar and straight,
Though he's somewhat improved from before.
--- Anon
A penis placed vaginally.
No more need for men.
But one problem then -
With which of them then will she pee?
--- Irving Superior P9503
Who his sex he wanted to alter.
Upon the completion
Of the penile deletion,
He could feel his manliness falter.
--- Popsicle TP9806
Here's some advice that was fed to me:
It's not a cunt hawk --
It's a clit on a stalk,
Said the transvestite as s/he gave head to me.
--- H Welchel
Asked transexual Joe, soon Jolene.
Said Doc, "We'll have quarts!
The most painful part's
When we sew in that salty sardine!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection A
Was completely redone and rebuilt.
Said his girl, "Let's partake
Just for good old times' sake."
But he said, "Not how I'm now built."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2193
Whom everyone thought was a priss.
In sheer desperation --
Sex change operation,
And he went from a mister to miss.
--- Chris Dunbar
Reward for the children they bore.
Be that as it may,
At eighty today,
I'm having a sex change before....
--- Irving Superior
We're shocked to be told of that slaughter.
You've cut off your pole
In exchcange for a hole?
Now you'll have to sit down to pass water!"
--- Bluebird TP9806
Who cabled from Sweden: "Dear Parents:
Sex-change operation
Creates new relation.
As Clara, implore your forebearance."
--- John Ciardi
There are those who are quite nonchalant.
They seek amputations
That transform their relations
Now my father's my cousin's new aunt.
--- The Sailor P0306
And perhaps with pills, some nice tits.
Said the surgeon, "For cash,
I do not think it rash
To provide you with two one-inch clits."
--- F Ormatsee
It was on advice of sawbones.
And now they must build
His breasts and he's thrilled.
I hear what they use is whore moans!
--- Al Willis
As well as the term "Tonsilectomy".
But we find it quite strange
That in a sex change,
Why it's not called, "Adadicktomy".
--- Lims For Year - 01
As a male I'd look less like a hick to me."
So she made a date
With a surgeon first rate
To perform on her an addictomy.
--- Jane D Hughes P9104
Transplanted ten peckers from runts
To his hands, feet and nose,
Then he stripped the Pope's clothes
And broke Ten Commandments at once.
--- Al Chaplin P8908
I began to dance a 'can-can'.
Except that I can't
'Cause my recent implant
Is still sore. (But at last I'm a man!)
--- Anon
Who went in for fucking quite heavily.
He fucked night and day
Till his ballocks gave way,
But the doctors replaced them quite cleverly.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was a whiz at transplanting an organ.
For twenty-five grand,
He'd install one goat gland,
One prick, and two balls -- Quite a bargain!
--- Anon
For correcting the kink in his tool.
Said the doctor, sedate,
"I will make your prick straight --
I'll exchange it for mine, you damn fool."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0601
Whose manhood was snapped off by a bear.
Sobbed he, "That damned bruin,
Caused my sexual ruin.
Do you think I could glue on a pair?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 561 G2063
Who boasted that no one would change her?
"Let some surgical nit
Make a cock of my clit?
Fuck Off! or I'll shoot at you, Stranger!"
--- Anon
Looking utterly daft and absurd,
In a tunic so brief
That it beggars belief.
Operation's on April the third.
--- Anon
This is file nhl
For his neck was as stiff as a rock.
The able physician
Called in a magician,
And he transferred the cramp to his cock.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0492
Was hung much too thin and too short,
So he increased his shaft
With a elephant graft,
And now it won't fit where it ort.
--- Hugh Oliver A046C
But I knew a horny young punk,
Because of lost face,
He had his replaced
With a full grown elephant's trunk.
--- Possum TP9802
Just look at how far out it juts.
But it wasn't all good;
Occasionally it would
Try hard to feed him his nuts.
--- Possum TP9802
When I saw it I wanted to deck her.
Everything was fine
Till she gave me this line,
"Look down, you now have Frank's pecker!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'd not wait for Halloween to switch.
When a tinkle you're taking,
It's Frank's shank you're shaking --
Take that, you big son of a bitch!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Had a mine blow his balls and his cock away.
Kangaroo genitalia
Grafted on in Australia
Fixed him so he jumps broads a block away.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8901a
Would prefer to be robustly male,
And enjoy the sensation
The right operation
Could probably fully en-tail.
--- Keith MacMillan 98d
Had crocodile glands put in cheap.
Now his smile is quite bright,
For he spends every night
Making love while he swims in the deep.
--- Arthur Deex P0309
Had nightingale glands put in gratis.
Now his smile is quite bright,
For he spends every night
Making love while he's perched in a lattice.
--- Arthur Deex P0309
Got polar bear glands at no cost.
Now his smile is quite bright,
For he spends every night
Making love while he's covered with frost.
--- Arthur Deex P0309
Had dysfunction that was erectile.
They grafted a boner
From an equine donor,
Now all the girls give him a smile.
--- Laurence U
Who never could get a good bone.
With the aid of a gland,
It grew simply grand,
Now his wife cannot leave it alone.
--- L0277
They grafted on skin from his ears.
And now the poor guy
Can hear through his fly,
And fucking just bores him to tears.
--- G2016
Worked himself into a lather.
Said he, "The idea's good,
But, God! If I could,
Have a new prostate gland, I'd much rather."
--- Anon
Whose pecker got caught in the slicer.
As it dropped from the root,
He could only salute,
And the whole thing could not be conciser.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1816
Who knew how to splice a rope neat.
So he cut off the cock
Of a horse of fine stock,
And he asked him to splice on three feet.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1817
He held it erect and did say,
"Are you ready to test?"
But was sadly depressed
For his pecker dropped down and said, "Neigh."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1818
When he woke, felt his crotch to reveal
The prick of a horse,
And it caused him remorse
For the horse got the best of the deal.
--- Al Chaplin P9403
To provide better fucks for my mate.
But when they cut and sew,
Where do the pricks go...?
There's a hotdog van parked by the gate.
--- F Ormatsee
With a wish to be switched to a mister,
Underwent a sex change
With results that were strange,
For it turned her into a tran-sister.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9507
Transplanted himself a Big Mac.
The girls were amazed
At its size when it raised,
Which was great (though it was colored black).
--- Martin Wellborn P9502
Who started her life as a man.
She first got some tits,
Then lost her bits.
Now she does what she wants 'cause she can!
--- Countrygirl
He conjures up pictures of Maud.
If only he knew
As he splatters his goo,
That she's now a most definite Claude.
--- Anon
Grabbed that elephant whang and just flew
To a surgeon (viz plastic)
And requested a drastic
Transplant of a mere foot or two.
--- Martin Wellborn P8507
Most anxious with girls to have dates.
His poetic measures,
Gave very few pleasures,
If one can accept estimates.
--- Anon
Restorers of virility,
But the operation
Can cause consternation,
If the patient swings up in tree.
--- Warrick Elrod
Had monkey glands put in for free.
Now his smile is quite bright,
For he spends every night
Making love while he swings from a tree.
--- Limericks For John P9802
During her absence I was not pleased.
With passion I burned
And now she's returned;
At last I can put my mind at ease.
--- Anon
On my girlfriend in the nude.
It suddenly seemed
Like a horrible dream;
In my absence, she'd become a dude.
--- Anon
On her soft and ample breast,
I could only stare;
It was covered with hair,
On top of a brawny muscular chest.
--- Anon
A new appendage now did dangle.
It was easy to see
She was bigger than me!
From every view or any angle.
--- Anon
I felt like I should run away
We had to part
It broke my heart
But if I kissed her now then I'd be gay
--- Anon
And to tell jokes so mean and crude.
You know its true;
It could happen to you;
Your baby could become a dude.
--- Anon
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