A disqualified wrestler with gall,
As a woman had fooled one and all.
Said she, with a scream,
"I'd have made the men's team,
If they'd only transplanted one ball."
--- Anon

A surgical nurse in Darjeeling,
Transplanted a prick to the ceiling.
When she wanted to ball,
It was no good at all,
But the dangle, she felt, was appealing.
--- Anon

There was a Young Lady whose nose
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
But a wiley old surgeon
Without any urgin'
Transplanted that nose to HIS hose.
--- Edwardian Leer 061

An unlucky lover named Gant
Received a bad organ transplant:
Though he'd love to indulge,
His penis won't bulge --
He frequently came; now he can't!
--- Armand E Singer 611

A young plastic surgeon named Tony
Was hung like a great big bologna.
The girls called him horse.
You guessed it, of course.
It used to belong to his pony.
--- P8305X

If a man had his choice of transplants,
His sex life he'd want to enhance.
(To help him succeed,
A donor he'll need)
And occupy more of his pants.
--- Irving Superior P9503

For a lad, an old surgeon named Patch
Reconstructed a pecker from scratch.
When he felt through his pocket,
It would blow like a rocket,
But it failed to go off in a snatch.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1889

Uncle Henry's requested transplant,
Was larger than his, which was scant.
But he got a rejection
Instead of erection,
So now Uncle Henry's an aunt.
--- Pierce Evans

A horny young stud, name of Bower,
Had his gadget fall off in the shower.
The replacement was thin.
Said his Doc, "What a sin.
But some day perhaps it will flower."
--- Giandomeni & Christ P8908

Has your pleasure in bed become flat?
Are you over the hill and all that?
Make your sex life less bland
With a young male goat's gland.
Consult Dr. Brinkley in Pratt.
--- A N Wilkins P8703X

For the poop in the sex-changing field,
See the Blessed St. Lizzie Bathilde.
By assiduous skipping
She altered her flipping;
Vagina now pecker doth wield.
--- G2330

Henrietta was pevish and glum.
Women's Lib said, "You're under man's thumb."
So they doctored her widdley
And made her a tiddley--
Now she's Henry, and at her, by gum!
--- G0345X

There once was a stand-up comedian
Cracking impotence-jokes encyclopedian.
With Viagra the rage,
Both on and off stage,
His standings now stand above median.
--- John Miller

It's often been said love is blind,
A phrase that is sometimes unkind.
Is Viagra for you
Causing visions of blue?
Or it's a problem that you do not mind?
--- Arden

When it comes to Viagra use, all's
Not perfect, but this problem galls.
Of all of the hues,
I prefer most the blues,
Except when it comes to my balls.

(blue balls - slang for chanchroid)
--- Irish

Seeing blue is a minor setback
For allowing to stuff in her crack,
A cock that's now hard;
Earns you her regard;
Now just worry about a cardiac.
--- S C Saint

"Fair maiden, thou needest not sulk!
No longer am I thine limp skulk,
Who leaves them forsaken.
Oh nay! I've now taken
Viagra in quantities bulk!"
--- Travis Brasell

"Oh William! I prithee desist!
Before I become sorely pissed.
You've screwed all in sight
From morning till night,
And now you are spraining your wrist."
--- Ericka

I'm now becoming addicted
To hearing the things that your dick did;
(That problem with height
And nervous stage fright),
And how, with Viagra, you licked it.
--- Anon

That old Dickens guy, Bob Cratchit,
Had a big dick, none could match it.
Just a Viagra or two
Dissolved in his stew,
Hardened it so a cat could not scratch it.
--- Sam Pittman TP9806

The comedians have a new trick,
To not get booed off stage too quick.
To insure they'll standup,
They sip from a cup
Of Viagra, to buck up their schtick.
--- Frank Fazed

From Bristol, now in Hinton Admiral,
Young Joan shoots porn films with her cameral;
And when the male leads
Get droopy, she feeds
Them elephant formula Viagral.
--- Anon

Double-headers, I've heard about those;
They seek to maintain Love's sweet throes.
Viagra can aid,
Though mostly it's made
To help fellows with a limp hose.
--- Chris Papa

Blessed are the impotent today;
A pill will get them a good lay.
Four hours or more,
I go a minute of four;
And that's counting three minutes of foreplay.
--- Darren

It was heard when we were in Niagara,
As I slowly sipped on a lager, a
Wail, up a beat
From the honeymoon suite:
"I've forgotten to bring my Viagra!"
--- Pilar

An old impotent cowboy named Morse
Took Viagra to help him, perforce.
Though his prick stood upright,
There were no girls in sight,
So he ended up fucking his horse.
--- Al Chaplin P9902

I once knew an impotent shark (retired attorney)
Who wailed like a cat in the dark. (opera singer)
Since he took a small pill, (Viagra fan)
He's back over the hill -- (23 years)
His bites become worse that his bark! (fucked me silly)
--- H Welchel

Viagra, the little blue pill,
If you ain't got much ink in your quill!
Works like an unction
On penile dysfunction -
Put simply, gets Jack up his Jill!
--- Anon

Viagra's the new wonder drug;
I look at the hype and I shrug.
Pray I won't see the day
For Viagra I'll pay.
I enjoy getting burns from the rug!
--- Dave

Viagra's in the headlines anew;
Seems poor people are wanting it too.
The taxpayers will
Now be footing the bill,
So we all get a government screw!
--- Puff Adder

Propecia to make the hair grow;
Viagra for willie, you know.
The hair makes me cuter,
But weakens my shooter.
I'd rather perform than just show.
--- Burrito Man

Rogaine made a similar boast,
Growing hair on your pate, coast to coast.
Rub it into your head
All your life, until dead.
On my palm is where hair grew the most.
--- Burrito Man

My God! I've been using both balms
And forked out my dough without qualms
For Viagra too --
Now what shall I do,
Sprouting peckers from both of my palms.
--- Anon

This is file ngl

Viagra has restored the pleasure
To the sex that my wife and I treasure.
I fucked her and then
She was most happy when
I fucked her once more for good measure.
--- Wiley

Responding to suggestions subliminal,
I committed a crime that was minimal.
Shoplifting Viagra, arrested;
Evidence ingested.
I was booked as a hardened criminal.
--- Puff Adder X

A Viagraphile named Lyle,
Called the seismology lab with a smile.
He said, "Tell the staff
To watch the seismograph,
They're gonna see "10" in a while!
--- Lee Malone TP9806

With a bit of Viagra, I'm sure,
We could have a good time. Yes, all four.
So hurry my pets,
Before the sun sets
And you find me collapsed on the floor.
--- Fred

Poor folks -- we've got more than enough;
Now please don't think me too gruff.
I'd just rather see;
More people like me,
Who look naturally good in the buff.
--- Darren

If your lover needs pills (start with "V")
Come, without any doubts, to me.
I do not need blue pills
To give you some thrills;
Just drop in for a visit. You'll see.
--- Nik Synytskyy

You medical gentlemen who
Adopt all developments new,
For patients with bucks,
Impatient for fucks,
Prescribing Viagra will do.
--- Nick a

It really is not what you think;
Viagra I put in my drink.
It hardens the rod,
Amid cries of "OH GOD",
Then it writes in indelible ink...
--- Anon

We're certainly NOT indivisible,
In fact just the thought is quite risible.
The gals wink and nod
At that faulty rod...
Your ink and your pen are invisible.
--- Anon

A bone weary fellow named Cooper,
His penis was always a drooper;
Viagara he chose,
His boner arose;
He screwed himself into a stupor.
--- Cap'n Bean P0106

Viagra, the little blue pill
Cannot replace sexual skill.
True, a hard-on's required,
But more is desired
To achieve the right level of thrill!
--- Anon

I woke from my nap - had to pee,
Then doubled my vitamin E.
I'll be there tonight
When the time is right;
The Viagra I have is for "P".
--- Anon

I'm rude, and I'm crude, and I'm horny;
When my humour ain't sick, then it's corny.
Of features redeeming,
I haven't a gleaming,
And Viagra just gives me a thorny.
--- Anon

A shamefaced old hippie was quoted
That although his merkin's as bloated
As ever it was,
The strength of its fuzz
Is enhanced, for it's Viagrally coated.
--- Norm Storer and Dr Deex

A Mormon who moved west to Reno,
Lost his fortune at poker and Keno.
He ran out of luck
And lost his last buck,
While drinking some doctored up Vino.
--- Jack Atherton TP9806X

So he married a 21 dealer,
Who was also a very fine peeler.
They moved to Niagara,
And peddled Viagra
To Veterans and surviving New Dealers.
--- Jack Atherton TP9806X

They found profitable profession,
Giving old farts penile erections.
And the company, Pfizer,
Was never the wiser,
Despite all the phony prescriptions.
--- Jack Atherton TP9806X

It's hotter than volcanic magma;
The orders are flowing like Niagara.
The pharmacists can't fill
The demand for the pill;
You know the one they call Viagra.
--- Puff Adder

The drugs that we use when we're ailin',
Go by different names for retailin'.
Tylenol's acetamenophen.
Advil's ibuprofen.
And Viagra is Mycoxafailin.
--- Anon

It seems that there just ain't no stoppin'
Drug companies, when sales are droppin'.
Viagra, generic,
May leave you hysteric.
They call it Mycoxafloppin.
--- Observer

Viagra gives a four-hour hard-on,
And me I could use a head start on;
But us poor slobs;
With the normal knobs,
Must make do with our natural part on.
--- Darren

Viagra, the little blue pill
Is for those who can't take their fill.
The Australian way's
Screw a new one each day,
Then it'll always stand up for the thrill!

(also called the Coolidge effect - McW)
--- Anon

What the hell is this new penis patch?
Will it help me delight Sweet Thing's snatch?
If I polish my wood,
Nice and slick like I should,
Will it lead to a swell "boxing" match?
--- Allen Wolverton

There was a young fellow of Burma
Whose betrothed had good cause to murmur.
But he bought in Niagra
A supply of Viagra,
And the roots of their love are much firmer.
--- Anon X

Even though you are a saint,
With a soft one, a man you just ain't.
So Viagra's the mickey
For when she gets sticky,
And with it you'll hear no complaint.
--- Pepe

Viagra will confound the rule,
About the old man and his "tool";
For pleasure in bed
'Tis larger, it's said,
Now masterpiece, not OPUSCULE.
--- Chris Papa

Viagra, called "Pfizer Riser",
Now call your best gal and advise her.
It may be bigger,
Or quicker trigger,
If latter, you're a gone guy, sir.
--- Chris Papa

An impotent fellow named Brown
Had a wife with a permanent frown.
She doctored his soup
With Viagra goop,
Till the noodles just wouldn't stay down.
--- Tom Patton P9806X

They say Viagra works for girls too.
Is there anything this pill won't do?
It brings blood to her clit
And the rest of her kit.
Well, let's see Viagra cause an unscrew.
--- Saint

Viagra, the little blue pill
Enlivens that which was still.
What once was quite flacid,
Is no longer placid,
In fact it points proudly uphill!
--- Sam Pittman TP9806

A widower, Malcolm McBean,
Remarried but failed the routine.
So they drove to Niagara
Where he tried Viagra,
And in public, they've hardly been seen.
--- Hugh Clary

This seems like a poor trade to me;
Wee willie does much more than pee.
I'll forego the hair;
Keep willie down there,
Stiff and a bit wrinklefree!
--- Dave

Seems old Harry had lumps on his head,
So the staff nurse leaned close and she said,
"Some Viagra at night,
Should make everything right,
'Cause you'll stop rolling out of your bed."
--- Bob Birch P9811X