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A disqualified wrestler with gall, A surgical nurse in Darjeeling, There was a Young Lady whose nose An unlucky lover named Gant A young plastic surgeon named Tony If a man had his choice of transplants, For a lad, an old surgeon named Patch Uncle Henry's requested transplant, A horny young stud, name of Bower, Has your pleasure in bed become flat? For the poop in the sex-changing field, Henrietta was pevish and glum. There once was a stand-up comedian It's often been said love is blind, When it comes to Viagra use, all's (blue balls - slang for chanchroid)
Seeing blue is a minor setback "Fair maiden, thou needest not sulk! "Oh William! I prithee desist! I'm now becoming addicted That old Dickens guy, Bob Cratchit, The comedians have a new trick, From Bristol, now in Hinton Admiral, Double-headers, I've heard about those; Blessed are the impotent today; It was heard when we were in Niagara, An old impotent cowboy named Morse I once knew an impotent shark (retired
attorney) Viagra, the little blue pill, Viagra's the new wonder drug; Viagra's in the headlines anew; Propecia to make the hair grow; Rogaine made a similar boast, My God! I've been using both balms Viagra has restored the pleasure Responding to suggestions subliminal, A Viagraphile named Lyle, With a bit of Viagra, I'm sure, Poor folks -- we've got more than enough; If your lover needs pills (start with "V") You medical gentlemen who It really is not what you think; We're certainly NOT indivisible, A bone weary fellow named Cooper, Viagra, the little blue pill I woke from my nap - had to pee, I'm rude, and I'm crude, and I'm horny; A shamefaced old hippie was quoted A Mormon who moved west to Reno, So he married a 21 dealer, They found profitable profession, It's hotter than volcanic magma; The drugs that we use when we're ailin', It seems that there just ain't no stoppin' Viagra gives a four-hour hard-on, Viagra, the little blue pill (also called the Coolidge effect - McW)
What the hell is this new penis patch? There was a young fellow of Burma Even though you are a saint, Viagra will confound the rule, Viagra, called "Pfizer Riser", An impotent fellow named Brown They say Viagra works for girls too. Viagra, the little blue pill A widower, Malcolm McBean, This seems like a poor trade to me; Seems old Harry had lumps on his head,
As a woman had fooled one and all.
Said she, with a scream,
"I'd have made the men's team,
If they'd only transplanted one ball."
--- Anon
Transplanted a prick to the ceiling.
When she wanted to ball,
It was no good at all,
But the dangle, she felt, was appealing.
--- Anon
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
But a wiley old surgeon
Without any urgin'
Transplanted that nose to HIS hose.
--- Edwardian Leer 061
Received a bad organ transplant:
Though he'd love to indulge,
His penis won't bulge --
He frequently came; now he can't!
--- Armand E Singer 611
Was hung like a great big bologna.
The girls called him horse.
You guessed it, of course.
It used to belong to his pony.
--- P8305X
His sex life he'd want to enhance.
(To help him succeed,
A donor he'll need)
And occupy more of his pants.
--- Irving Superior P9503
Reconstructed a pecker from scratch.
When he felt through his pocket,
It would blow like a rocket,
But it failed to go off in a snatch.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1889
Was larger than his, which was scant.
But he got a rejection
Instead of erection,
So now Uncle Henry's an aunt.
--- Pierce Evans
Had his gadget fall off in the shower.
The replacement was thin.
Said his Doc, "What a sin.
But some day perhaps it will flower."
--- Giandomeni & Christ P8908
Are you over the hill and all that?
Make your sex life less bland
With a young male goat's gland.
Consult Dr. Brinkley in Pratt.
--- A N Wilkins P8703X
See the Blessed St. Lizzie Bathilde.
By assiduous skipping
She altered her flipping;
Vagina now pecker doth wield.
--- G2330
Women's Lib said, "You're under man's thumb."
So they doctored her widdley
And made her a tiddley--
Now she's Henry, and at her, by gum!
--- G0345X
Cracking impotence-jokes encyclopedian.
With Viagra the rage,
Both on and off stage,
His standings now stand above median.
--- John Miller
A phrase that is sometimes unkind.
Is Viagra for you
Causing visions of blue?
Or it's a problem that you do not mind?
--- Arden
Not perfect, but this problem galls.
Of all of the hues,
I prefer most the blues,
Except when it comes to my balls.
--- Irish
For allowing to stuff in her crack,
A cock that's now hard;
Earns you her regard;
Now just worry about a cardiac.
--- S C Saint
No longer am I thine limp skulk,
Who leaves them forsaken.
Oh nay! I've now taken
Viagra in quantities bulk!"
--- Travis Brasell
Before I become sorely pissed.
You've screwed all in sight
From morning till night,
And now you are spraining your wrist."
--- Ericka
To hearing the things that your dick did;
(That problem with height
And nervous stage fright),
And how, with Viagra, you licked it.
--- Anon
Had a big dick, none could match it.
Just a Viagra or two
Dissolved in his stew,
Hardened it so a cat could not scratch it.
--- Sam Pittman TP9806
To not get booed off stage too quick.
To insure they'll standup,
They sip from a cup
Of Viagra, to buck up their schtick.
--- Frank Fazed
Young Joan shoots porn films with her cameral;
And when the male leads
Get droopy, she feeds
Them elephant formula Viagral.
--- Anon
They seek to maintain Love's sweet throes.
Viagra can aid,
Though mostly it's made
To help fellows with a limp hose.
--- Chris Papa
A pill will get them a good lay.
Four hours or more,
I go a minute of four;
And that's counting three minutes of foreplay.
--- Darren
As I slowly sipped on a lager, a
Wail, up a beat
From the honeymoon suite:
"I've forgotten to bring my Viagra!"
--- Pilar
Took Viagra to help him, perforce.
Though his prick stood upright,
There were no girls in sight,
So he ended up fucking his horse.
--- Al Chaplin P9902
Who wailed like a cat in the dark. (opera singer)
Since he took a small pill, (Viagra fan)
He's back over the hill -- (23 years)
His bites become worse that his bark! (fucked me silly)
--- H Welchel
If you ain't got much ink in your quill!
Works like an unction
On penile dysfunction -
Put simply, gets Jack up his Jill!
--- Anon
I look at the hype and I shrug.
Pray I won't see the day
For Viagra I'll pay.
I enjoy getting burns from the rug!
--- Dave
Seems poor people are wanting it too.
The taxpayers will
Now be footing the bill,
So we all get a government screw!
--- Puff Adder
Viagra for willie, you know.
The hair makes me cuter,
But weakens my shooter.
I'd rather perform than just show.
--- Burrito Man
Growing hair on your pate, coast to coast.
Rub it into your head
All your life, until dead.
On my palm is where hair grew the most.
--- Burrito Man
And forked out my dough without qualms
For Viagra too --
Now what shall I do,
Sprouting peckers from both of my palms.
--- Anon
This is file ngl
To the sex that my wife and I treasure.
I fucked her and then
She was most happy when
I fucked her once more for good measure.
--- Wiley
I committed a crime that was minimal.
Shoplifting Viagra, arrested;
Evidence ingested.
I was booked as a hardened criminal.
--- Puff Adder X
Called the seismology lab with a smile.
He said, "Tell the staff
To watch the seismograph,
They're gonna see "10" in a while!
--- Lee Malone TP9806
We could have a good time. Yes, all four.
So hurry my pets,
Before the sun sets
And you find me collapsed on the floor.
--- Fred
Now please don't think me too gruff.
I'd just rather see;
More people like me,
Who look naturally good in the buff.
--- Darren
Come, without any doubts, to me.
I do not need blue pills
To give you some thrills;
Just drop in for a visit. You'll see.
--- Nik Synytskyy
Adopt all developments new,
For patients with bucks,
Impatient for fucks,
Prescribing Viagra will do.
--- Nick a
Viagra I put in my drink.
It hardens the rod,
Amid cries of "OH GOD",
Then it writes in indelible ink...
--- Anon
In fact just the thought is quite risible.
The gals wink and nod
At that faulty rod...
Your ink and your pen are invisible.
--- Anon
His penis was always a drooper;
Viagara he chose,
His boner arose;
He screwed himself into a stupor.
--- Cap'n Bean P0106
Cannot replace sexual skill.
True, a hard-on's required,
But more is desired
To achieve the right level of thrill!
--- Anon
Then doubled my vitamin E.
I'll be there tonight
When the time is right;
The Viagra I have is for "P".
--- Anon
When my humour ain't sick, then it's corny.
Of features redeeming,
I haven't a gleaming,
And Viagra just gives me a thorny.
--- Anon
That although his merkin's as bloated
As ever it was,
The strength of its fuzz
Is enhanced, for it's Viagrally coated.
--- Norm Storer and Dr Deex
Lost his fortune at poker and Keno.
He ran out of luck
And lost his last buck,
While drinking some doctored up Vino.
--- Jack Atherton TP9806X
Who was also a very fine peeler.
They moved to Niagara,
And peddled Viagra
To Veterans and surviving New Dealers.
--- Jack Atherton TP9806X
Giving old farts penile erections.
And the company, Pfizer,
Was never the wiser,
Despite all the phony prescriptions.
--- Jack Atherton TP9806X
The orders are flowing like Niagara.
The pharmacists can't fill
The demand for the pill;
You know the one they call Viagra.
--- Puff Adder
Go by different names for retailin'.
Tylenol's acetamenophen.
Advil's ibuprofen.
And Viagra is Mycoxafailin.
--- Anon
Drug companies, when sales are droppin'.
Viagra, generic,
May leave you hysteric.
They call it Mycoxafloppin.
--- Observer
And me I could use a head start on;
But us poor slobs;
With the normal knobs,
Must make do with our natural part on.
--- Darren
Is for those who can't take their fill.
The Australian way's
Screw a new one each day,
Then it'll always stand up for the thrill!
--- Anon
Will it help me delight Sweet Thing's snatch?
If I polish my wood,
Nice and slick like I should,
Will it lead to a swell "boxing" match?
--- Allen Wolverton
Whose betrothed had good cause to murmur.
But he bought in Niagra
A supply of Viagra,
And the roots of their love are much firmer.
--- Anon X
With a soft one, a man you just ain't.
So Viagra's the mickey
For when she gets sticky,
And with it you'll hear no complaint.
--- Pepe
About the old man and his "tool";
For pleasure in bed
'Tis larger, it's said,
Now masterpiece, not OPUSCULE.
--- Chris Papa
Now call your best gal and advise her.
It may be bigger,
Or quicker trigger,
If latter, you're a gone guy, sir.
--- Chris Papa
Had a wife with a permanent frown.
She doctored his soup
With Viagra goop,
Till the noodles just wouldn't stay down.
--- Tom Patton P9806X
Is there anything this pill won't do?
It brings blood to her clit
And the rest of her kit.
Well, let's see Viagra cause an unscrew.
--- Saint
Enlivens that which was still.
What once was quite flacid,
Is no longer placid,
In fact it points proudly uphill!
--- Sam Pittman TP9806
Remarried but failed the routine.
So they drove to Niagara
Where he tried Viagra,
And in public, they've hardly been seen.
--- Hugh Clary
Wee willie does much more than pee.
I'll forego the hair;
Keep willie down there,
Stiff and a bit wrinklefree!
--- Dave
So the staff nurse leaned close and she said,
"Some Viagra at night,
Should make everything right,
'Cause you'll stop rolling out of your bed."
--- Bob Birch P9811X
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