She was really a hardy and hale one;
Thought it might be real cool to nail one.
Drunk out of my mind,
In the morning I find
I'd been trying to fuck a male one.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

No wonder the buffalo calls
Resounded throughout the halls;
No wonder he cried
And eventually died;
I'd been kneeling all night on his balls!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

With his ear to the ground, the chief said,
"Me thinkum there trouble ahead.
Soundum like thumping
Of buffalo humping,
In teepee with squaw in my bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

So he went to the medicine man,
To see if he had a plan.
With deep prostrations
And great ministrations,
He said, "Chief, me do what me can."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

So he went to the teepee and saw
The buffalo riding the squaw.
When the squaw hollered out,
He'd thought it all out,
Except for the plans fatal flaw.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

When the squaw hollered out once again,
Our bold little medicine man
Snuck into the hut;
Poked the buffalo's butt;
It was here the plans flaw became plain.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

For the buffalo gave a great shout
And tried to find a way out.
But being teepeed,
'Twas a one bull stampede,
And thus the ensuing rout.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The moral is plain as green grass,
(On the morals of squaws we shall pass)
The way this story ends
Is to say to your friends,
NEVER poke buffalo ass.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Picky I never have been,
But the pickin's 'round here are so slim
That this buffalo who
In the states was a two
Is beginning to look like a ten.
--- R Wooten A

Amongst the great pussies, a nice 'un
Belongs to old spinster Tess Tyson,
Who, since from age ten
Has disallowed men
To screw 'er, in favor of bison.
--- Anon

There was a young harlot named Tyson,
Who conceived mad love for a bison.
After loves's fruition,
Her snatch's condition,
Was never again so enticing.
--- Ray A Billington G1228

There was an old man who said, "How
Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile."
'Twas a bull -- and it's all over now.
--- Edwardian Leer 076 P9306

Her eyesight started failing last fall;
The reason she was in the wrong stall.
Not milk from the tit,
But hot jism it spit,
As she fondled a large Brahma ball.
--- Onewayout

A buffalo said to his mate,
"I'll give you the choice of your fate:
Are you ready for breeding
Or prairie stampeding?
I've got to get rid of this weight."
--- Limber Limericks

A milkmaid addressing her cows,
With sweat dripping down from her brows,
Caught the eye of a bull,
Which started to drool,
As he chased her back to her house.
--- Loony Toony

The rodeo clown had a walk
Which his fellow clowns sure like to mock.
"That's what happens, my friend,
When you're cleaved in the end
By a horny bull's three-foot long cock."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A slow-footed stockman called Beales,
Fell down, with a bull at his heels.
When trying to rise,
He got quite a surprise,
Learning something of what a cow feels.
--- Cyril Mountjoy

A philosopher finding a stone,
Bent over to look with a groan.
This caught the eye
Of a bull passing by,
Who drove it in, straight to the bone.
--- Oddo Von Schlong TP9901

That bull has been altered, I hear,
And he cannot avec plaisir;
Serve the cows as he should,
And bring on motherhood.
This turned out to be a bum steer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A bull said, "I'm Friesian. Are you?"
His friend said, "I'm very cold too.
Something warming we need
When we finish our feed.
A couple of Jerseys will do."
--- Funfax Limericks a

A milkmaid of Warnesbury Fair,
Was an expert at riding bulls bare.
Oh, how the bulls gallop,
To give that dear trollop,
A bounce on her sweet dairy-air.
--- L1674

An athletic young girl of Papua,
Invited a bull to pursue her.
She vaulted the gate
Just a little too late;
And now when she laughs, she says, "Oo-ah!"
--- Anon

I wonder who's kissing him now?
It's probably Bessie, the cow.
44D udder;
It can be no other,
If Ferdinand Bull sees him -- POW!
--- Marlene

The bull with his cock long and pink,
The heifers he wanted to dink;
He went sniffing about
For the one the most stout,
And found one in whose hole he did sink!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The rodeo clowns often laughed
At their fellow, who walked with a staff.
"That's what happens, my friend,
When you're cleaved in the end
By a horny bull's three-foot-long shaft."
--- Actaeon

There once was a miss from Madrid,
Who was dominated by her Id.
She jumped in the ring;
Grabbed the bull by his thing.
Then I hate to relate what she did.
--- Pierce Evans

"Quite the contrary," said Ferdi the bull,
As his lips covered over in drool.
"Take a lesson from Bessie,
And this won't be so messy.
So oblige me and lean over this stool."
--- Anon

Now Bessie, in the next stall,
Couldn't believe what she then saw.
Old Ferdi's long tool,
Got wrapped 'round the stool,
Then a doubled back knot 'round his balls.
--- Anon

Rebecca took off like a sprinter,
And wouldn't be seen till next winter,
Which Ferdi found fine,
'Cause he sticks to his kind.
It took 6 months removing all splinters.
--- Anon

A callow young farm lad named Jay
Tried buggering a bull in the hay.
But feeling real mellow,
It rolled on the fellow --
They carted him off in a dray.
--- Armand E Singer 147

The new farmer's helper named Krull,
Accidently was milking the bull.
The farmer said, "Boy, you're dumb,
You've milked the wrong one!"
Said the boy, "But me whole buckets full!"
--- Scott Hendricks

There once was a milkmaid from Tull,
Who gave some extravagant pulls.
Her dad died of fright
At the horrible sight;
His daughter was milking the bull!
--- Death Spawn T9801

Out where the tumbleweeds tumbled,
There was an old spinster who humbled
An old brahma bull,
Whose dick she would pull;
Instead of a moo he just mumbled.
--- Travis Brasell

This is file ngk

I once tried to fill a bucket;
After a while I said "fuck it".
Don't know how a bull
Could get that pail full;
They must need some cow to suck it.
--- Anon

There was a young lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she slipped on a stone,
And found herself prone.
Not to argue, but something more fanciful.
--- Edwardian Leer 072

There was a young lady of Spain
Who tried it again and again.
With a bull in the arena
On TV, they would screen her.
Doing what? Need I really explain!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

There was a young girl from Seattle,
Whose hobby was sucking off cattle.
But a bull from the South,
Left a wad in her mouth
That made both her ovaries rattle.
--- L0647

In a meadow, a man named Llewellyn,
Had a dream he was bundling with Helen.
When he woke, he discovered
A bull had him covered
With ballocks as big as a melon.
--- L0616

A noted torero named Janus,
Was censored for conduct quite heinous.
He was told, "On the bull,
Use your sword, not your tool,
And aim for the neck, not the anus."
--- Anon

A foolish young cowboy named Lear
Put Spanish-fly in his beer.
After drinking this potion,
Overcome with emotion,
He buggered six cows and a steer.
--- G1269

The lusty young farmer named John
Is known as a super Don Juan.
Last night he went down
On twelve women in town,
And then screwed every cow in the barn.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q

I lost it while riding a cow,
From where I embedded a plow.
But before she was full,
Along came a bull,
And that's why I'm still limping now.
--- SFA

Old Charlie, a jolly old bloke,
Made love to a cow as a joke.
He found pleasure divine
With his friendly bovine;
Now they call him the old cowpoke.
--- Stan

A farmer named Gunther O Howe,
Was wiping the sweat from his brow;
He was physically drained
And was horribly stained
From the sex that he'd had with his cow.
--- Cap'n Bean P0412

I really would like to fuck you;
But there's something that you'd have to do.
Make a bellowing sound,
As you stamp on the ground,
And when you bend over, say Mooo.
--- MrMalo

Pasiphae, a queen in old Crete,
Found her sex life somewhat incomplete,
Until playing the cow
For a bull taught her how
To find pleasure incomparably sweet.
--- Anon

Quoth a cow in the marshes of Glynne,
"All the world is divine, even sin.
As a natural creature,
I worship all nature,
But most when the bullrush is in."
--- Conrad Aiken

Said a cow in the breeding lot, "Dear,
Don't count on much action in here.
I was told times uncounted
I'd find myself mounted,
But they sure handed me a bum steer."
--- Grand Prix Lim 60

She's waiting right now with her tail
In the air. No excuse, you can't fail.
If the size of your rise
Cannot quite reach her thighs,
Jack and Jill up yon hill have a pail.
--- Anon

Bestiality's your term, not mine,
Though it lends itself to a rhyme.
I'll leave you all now
To go feed Les's cow.
I'm coming, you lovely bovine.
--- Frank Fazed

A Brahman who lives in Bombay,
Shrieked with horror and fainted away,
When he found that somehow
He had buggered a cow.
(Her "Moo" was what gave it away.)
--- Isaac Asimov

We don't care 'bout the whys or the hows
Of past dates; we want heres and nows.
She went down, so you say,
But it wasn't that way.
'Twas knees buckling on one of your cows.
--- Cheryl

A dairyman living in Slough
Fell madly in love with his cow.
He made love in a bed
With the beast, it is said.
But no one has quite explained how.
--- G1325

I hope you won't think I am joking
When I say my ranch got a soaking;
Because of high water,
I did what I oughter,
And 'mooved' my herd with some cow poking.
--- Travis Brasell

A lonely old cowboy named Stover
Dropped face-down one day in the clover.
That sounds sort of bad
But his cattle weren't sad;
His cow-poking days were all over.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9401a

Parisian boulevards leafy
Are home to cute Mimi and Fifi.
But don't miss the chance
Of les vaches en Provence,
If your pleasures are somewhat more beefy.
--- Peter Wilkins

Some people make sounds like a flake;
They've been screwing cows, for God's sake.
But if they should crash
My big New Years bash,
I'll cut up their ass for some steak.
--- Frank Fazed

I love my sweet Daisy and Bess;
They never complain about mess,
Or utter a moo
Until I am through,
And that is so nice, I confess.
--- Anon

My cow died today, she was twenty;
I laid her to rest next to Dinty:
I shed a few tears;
Those girls through the years,
Sure took my hot prod quite a-plenty!
--- Anon

Last night I came home to a piddle
Of sperm that I found in the middle
Of Old Bessie's stall
(A piddle quite small)
Left there by the vet -- Dr. Doolittle!
--- Travis

In pastures and fields, by the score
There are heifers and Bessies galore,
Who need regular hoeing
And to-ing and fro-ing;
Such depths I intend to explore.
--- Anon

I've often been asked: "What does stickin'
A cow's cunt feel like if she's kickin'
Her legs like a dancer?"
Well folks, here's the answer:
"A cow's cunt feels just like a chicken!"
--- Travis Brasell

This is as bad as it gets.
Some say I've an interest in pets.
I do get the flutters
Over Bess's fine udders,
But pass up the rest with regrets.
--- Tutta Gioia

A cowhand way out in Seattle,
Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
He said, "No, I can't fuck
A lamb or a duck,
But golly! It just fits the cattle.
--- L0230

Some people just don't have a clue;
To Iowegians, the big M is taboo.
Their cocks they don't stroke,
They just calmly drink Coke,
While their sex partner's bellow out "Moooo!"
--- Faerie

Oh, know thou Sir Geoffrey de Beers,
The newly-crowned King of the Queers?
He is off to do battle
With a herd of prime cattle --
A frontal attack on their rears.
--- Armand E Singer 420