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She was really a hardy and hale one; No wonder the buffalo calls With his ear to the ground, the chief said, So he went to the medicine man, So he went to the teepee and saw When the squaw hollered out once again, For the buffalo gave a great shout The moral is plain as green grass, Picky I never have been, Amongst the great pussies, a nice 'un There was a young harlot named Tyson, There was an old man who said, "How Her eyesight started failing last fall; A buffalo said to his mate, A milkmaid addressing her cows, The rodeo clown had a walk A slow-footed stockman called Beales, A philosopher finding a stone, That bull has been altered, I hear, A bull said, "I'm Friesian. Are you?" A milkmaid of Warnesbury Fair, An athletic young girl of Papua, I wonder who's kissing him now? The bull with his cock long and pink, The rodeo clowns often laughed There once was a miss from Madrid, "Quite the contrary," said Ferdi the bull, Now Bessie, in the next stall, Rebecca took off like a sprinter, A callow young farm lad named Jay The new farmer's helper named Krull, There once was a milkmaid from Tull, Out where the tumbleweeds tumbled, I once tried to fill a bucket; There was a young lady of Hull, There was a young lady of Spain There was a young girl from Seattle, In a meadow, a man named Llewellyn, A noted torero named Janus, A foolish young cowboy named Lear The lusty young farmer named John I lost it while riding a cow, Old Charlie, a jolly old bloke, A farmer named Gunther O Howe, I really would like to fuck you; Pasiphae, a queen in old Crete, Quoth a cow in the marshes of Glynne, Said a cow in the breeding lot, "Dear, She's waiting right now with her tail Bestiality's your term, not mine, A Brahman who lives in Bombay, We don't care 'bout the whys or the hows A dairyman living in Slough I hope you won't think I am joking A lonely old cowboy named Stover Parisian boulevards leafy Some people make sounds like a flake; I love my sweet Daisy and Bess; My cow died today, she was twenty; Last night I came home to a piddle In pastures and fields, by the score I've often been asked: "What does stickin' This is as bad as it gets. A cowhand way out in Seattle, Some people just don't have a clue; Oh, know thou Sir Geoffrey de Beers,
Thought it might be real cool to nail one.
Drunk out of my mind,
In the morning I find
I'd been trying to fuck a male one.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Resounded throughout the halls;
No wonder he cried
And eventually died;
I'd been kneeling all night on his balls!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Me thinkum there trouble ahead.
Soundum like thumping
Of buffalo humping,
In teepee with squaw in my bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To see if he had a plan.
With deep prostrations
And great ministrations,
He said, "Chief, me do what me can."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The buffalo riding the squaw.
When the squaw hollered out,
He'd thought it all out,
Except for the plans fatal flaw.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Our bold little medicine man
Snuck into the hut;
Poked the buffalo's butt;
It was here the plans flaw became plain.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And tried to find a way out.
But being teepeed,
'Twas a one bull stampede,
And thus the ensuing rout.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
(On the morals of squaws we shall pass)
The way this story ends
Is to say to your friends,
NEVER poke buffalo ass.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
But the pickin's 'round here are so slim
That this buffalo who
In the states was a two
Is beginning to look like a ten.
--- R Wooten A
Belongs to old spinster Tess Tyson,
Who, since from age ten
Has disallowed men
To screw 'er, in favor of bison.
--- Anon
Who conceived mad love for a bison.
After loves's fruition,
Her snatch's condition,
Was never again so enticing.
--- Ray A Billington G1228
Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
I will sit on this stile,
And continue to smile."
'Twas a bull -- and it's all over now.
--- Edwardian Leer 076 P9306
The reason she was in the wrong stall.
Not milk from the tit,
But hot jism it spit,
As she fondled a large Brahma ball.
--- Onewayout
"I'll give you the choice of your fate:
Are you ready for breeding
Or prairie stampeding?
I've got to get rid of this weight."
--- Limber Limericks
With sweat dripping down from her brows,
Caught the eye of a bull,
Which started to drool,
As he chased her back to her house.
--- Loony Toony
Which his fellow clowns sure like to mock.
"That's what happens, my friend,
When you're cleaved in the end
By a horny bull's three-foot long cock."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Fell down, with a bull at his heels.
When trying to rise,
He got quite a surprise,
Learning something of what a cow feels.
--- Cyril Mountjoy
Bent over to look with a groan.
This caught the eye
Of a bull passing by,
Who drove it in, straight to the bone.
--- Oddo Von Schlong TP9901
And he cannot avec plaisir;
Serve the cows as he should,
And bring on motherhood.
This turned out to be a bum steer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
His friend said, "I'm very cold too.
Something warming we need
When we finish our feed.
A couple of Jerseys will do."
--- Funfax Limericks a
Was an expert at riding bulls bare.
Oh, how the bulls gallop,
To give that dear trollop,
A bounce on her sweet dairy-air.
--- L1674
Invited a bull to pursue her.
She vaulted the gate
Just a little too late;
And now when she laughs, she says, "Oo-ah!"
--- Anon
It's probably Bessie, the cow.
44D udder;
It can be no other,
If Ferdinand Bull sees him -- POW!
--- Marlene
The heifers he wanted to dink;
He went sniffing about
For the one the most stout,
And found one in whose hole he did sink!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
At their fellow, who walked with a staff.
"That's what happens, my friend,
When you're cleaved in the end
By a horny bull's three-foot-long shaft."
--- Actaeon
Who was dominated by her Id.
She jumped in the ring;
Grabbed the bull by his thing.
Then I hate to relate what she did.
--- Pierce Evans
As his lips covered over in drool.
"Take a lesson from Bessie,
And this won't be so messy.
So oblige me and lean over this stool."
--- Anon
Couldn't believe what she then saw.
Old Ferdi's long tool,
Got wrapped 'round the stool,
Then a doubled back knot 'round his balls.
--- Anon
And wouldn't be seen till next winter,
Which Ferdi found fine,
'Cause he sticks to his kind.
It took 6 months removing all splinters.
--- Anon
Tried buggering a bull in the hay.
But feeling real mellow,
It rolled on the fellow --
They carted him off in a dray.
--- Armand E Singer 147
Accidently was milking the bull.
The farmer said, "Boy, you're dumb,
You've milked the wrong one!"
Said the boy, "But me whole buckets full!"
--- Scott Hendricks
Who gave some extravagant pulls.
Her dad died of fright
At the horrible sight;
His daughter was milking the bull!
--- Death Spawn T9801
There was an old spinster who humbled
An old brahma bull,
Whose dick she would pull;
Instead of a moo he just mumbled.
--- Travis Brasell
This is file ngk
After a while I said "fuck it".
Don't know how a bull
Could get that pail full;
They must need some cow to suck it.
--- Anon
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she slipped on a stone,
And found herself prone.
Not to argue, but something more fanciful.
--- Edwardian Leer 072
Who tried it again and again.
With a bull in the arena
On TV, they would screen her.
Doing what? Need I really explain!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Whose hobby was sucking off cattle.
But a bull from the South,
Left a wad in her mouth
That made both her ovaries rattle.
--- L0647
Had a dream he was bundling with Helen.
When he woke, he discovered
A bull had him covered
With ballocks as big as a melon.
--- L0616
Was censored for conduct quite heinous.
He was told, "On the bull,
Use your sword, not your tool,
And aim for the neck, not the anus."
--- Anon
Put Spanish-fly in his beer.
After drinking this potion,
Overcome with emotion,
He buggered six cows and a steer.
--- G1269
Is known as a super Don Juan.
Last night he went down
On twelve women in town,
And then screwed every cow in the barn.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0512Q
From where I embedded a plow.
But before she was full,
Along came a bull,
And that's why I'm still limping now.
--- SFA
Made love to a cow as a joke.
He found pleasure divine
With his friendly bovine;
Now they call him the old cowpoke.
--- Stan
Was wiping the sweat from his brow;
He was physically drained
And was horribly stained
From the sex that he'd had with his cow.
--- Cap'n Bean P0412
But there's something that you'd have to do.
Make a bellowing sound,
As you stamp on the ground,
And when you bend over, say Mooo.
--- MrMalo
Found her sex life somewhat incomplete,
Until playing the cow
For a bull taught her how
To find pleasure incomparably sweet.
--- Anon
"All the world is divine, even sin.
As a natural creature,
I worship all nature,
But most when the bullrush is in."
--- Conrad Aiken
Don't count on much action in here.
I was told times uncounted
I'd find myself mounted,
But they sure handed me a bum steer."
--- Grand Prix Lim 60
In the air. No excuse, you can't fail.
If the size of your rise
Cannot quite reach her thighs,
Jack and Jill up yon hill have a pail.
--- Anon
Though it lends itself to a rhyme.
I'll leave you all now
To go feed Les's cow.
I'm coming, you lovely bovine.
--- Frank Fazed
Shrieked with horror and fainted away,
When he found that somehow
He had buggered a cow.
(Her "Moo" was what gave it away.)
--- Isaac Asimov
Of past dates; we want heres and nows.
She went down, so you say,
But it wasn't that way.
'Twas knees buckling on one of your cows.
--- Cheryl
Fell madly in love with his cow.
He made love in a bed
With the beast, it is said.
But no one has quite explained how.
--- G1325
When I say my ranch got a soaking;
Because of high water,
I did what I oughter,
And 'mooved' my herd with some cow poking.
--- Travis Brasell
Dropped face-down one day in the clover.
That sounds sort of bad
But his cattle weren't sad;
His cow-poking days were all over.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P9401a
Are home to cute Mimi and Fifi.
But don't miss the chance
Of les vaches en Provence,
If your pleasures are somewhat more beefy.
--- Peter Wilkins
They've been screwing cows, for God's sake.
But if they should crash
My big New Years bash,
I'll cut up their ass for some steak.
--- Frank Fazed
They never complain about mess,
Or utter a moo
Until I am through,
And that is so nice, I confess.
--- Anon
I laid her to rest next to Dinty:
I shed a few tears;
Those girls through the years,
Sure took my hot prod quite a-plenty!
--- Anon
Of sperm that I found in the middle
Of Old Bessie's stall
(A piddle quite small)
Left there by the vet -- Dr. Doolittle!
--- Travis
There are heifers and Bessies galore,
Who need regular hoeing
And to-ing and fro-ing;
Such depths I intend to explore.
--- Anon
A cow's cunt feel like if she's kickin'
Her legs like a dancer?"
Well folks, here's the answer:
"A cow's cunt feels just like a chicken!"
--- Travis Brasell
Some say I've an interest in pets.
I do get the flutters
Over Bess's fine udders,
But pass up the rest with regrets.
--- Tutta Gioia
Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
He said, "No, I can't fuck
A lamb or a duck,
But golly! It just fits the cattle.
--- L0230
To Iowegians, the big M is taboo.
Their cocks they don't stroke,
They just calmly drink Coke,
While their sex partner's bellow out "Moooo!"
--- Faerie
The newly-crowned King of the Queers?
He is off to do battle
With a herd of prime cattle --
A frontal attack on their rears.
--- Armand E Singer 420
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