An old geezer who turned niney-three,
Said, "I know this Viagra ain't free,
But it won't go to waste,
I even like the taste,
And the old wife's more kindly to me.
--- Lee Malone TP9806

First honeymoon's great at Niagara,
Then if you don't die of pellagra
Or terrible wheezes,
Or noxious diseases,
You'll someday be glad of Viagra.
--- Island Singer

There once was a druggist named Rizer,
Whose opinion was always the wiser:
"For an evening sublime,
Viagra works fine,
But for great sex, I buy shares of Pfizer.
--- Jeannette Cook P9806

Pfizer's chemists are sure enterprising,
Viagra's effect so surprising,
The dirty old men
Are young once again.
Their prospects for sex are now rising.
--- Tom Patton P9806

The drug makers have no compunction
To give names to conditions with unction.
No more "limp dick"
Or even "dead stick",
The new name's "erectile disfunction".
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503

Now sales are decidedly placid;
Investors' demeanor is acid.
And the market for Pfizer,
No longer a riser,
Can only be flouted as flaccid.
--- Hugh Clary

A drop in demand for the pills
Will not only silence the tills,
But stop all the guys
Who can't make it rise,
From using their dicks like road drills.
--- SFA

The little blue pill was a must
But now appear to be bust.
The fellows who counted
On it to get mounted,
Will now have no outlet for lust.
--- Scott Oliver

The shareholders gained, you will find,
Increased potency as the shares climbed;
But with eyesight and stocks
Flagging, like their cocks--
It'll be "the blind kneading the blind".
--- Jester Jon

The Viagra Quality Director,
Said, "I'm only the pill inspector,
And my job isn't done
Till I test every one,
'Cause that's what I took this job for."
--- Lee Malone TP9806

A chap (a known womanizer)
Had stopped in to see his adviser,
As to how to invest;
'Twas heard, "Surely you jest!
I'd advise you to put all in Pfizer."
--- Pilar

My portfolio's taken a beatin',
So my broker, he calls this big meetin'.
"Your stock is a bummer,
Pfizer's the comer!
Please ditch this obsession with Eaton."

(Eaton labs - big in urology products)
--- Irish

This shouldn't be a disaster
For something easy to master.
If I had been wiser
I'd invested in Pfizer;
They already made Viagra faster!
--- Paul D

Viagra in drink form is new,
From Pepsi in two thousand two,
Convenient so if one,
Desires a stiff one,
It's pourable and called "Mount 'N Do."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0202X

I once bought a company's stock;
They made splints to stiffen your cock.
They were doing just fine;
Now Viagra's on line.
My stock has just dropped like a rock!
--- Puff Adder

If getting a boner's a chore,
Let Pfizer, Inc. help you to score.
To prime the old pump
Cost ten bucks a hump.
Would you mind redefining a whore?
--- Irish

The spouting hot spring is a GEYSER,
An image reminding old miser
Of fleeting glory,
A maid named Cori,
And Viagra story from Pfizer.
--- Daniel Ford

My adviser said, "Don't be a miser.
You can get quite a rise out of Pfizer.
You should buy a large block
Of this company's stock,
Since it's shooting straight up like a geyser."
--- Jerry Nordal P9806

Viagra by storm took the nation,
Inciting a joyful elation.
Passions rising from trance,
Mostly right in the pants.
Gave Pfizer a standing ovation.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9807

With sales of Viagra so good,
The value of Pfizer now should
Climb so high that soon it'll
Be just like Engine Little,
And be known as "The Old Stock That Could."
--- Jerry Nordal P980

I too, wanted my investments right on,
But the name of the company was gone
From my head, so I said
I'll grasp at a thread.
I put all my cash in Upjohn.
--- S C Saint

The sheik's harem, well sated and awed,
Cried, "Praise Allah!" and rose to applaud.
But the sheik said, "Please cite me:
It was not the almighty --
'Twas the tablet from Pfizer, by God!"
--- William N Nesbit P9806

A couple of guys who were queer
Slipped Viagra in straight Harry's beer.
The resulting erection
They view as confection.
Said Harry, "Girls, I'm outta here"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208

Pfizer Drugs find themselves in a bind.
What to do, they can't make up their mind.
Back when you were a lad,
Told masturbation was bad;
Now Viagra is making men blind.
--- Tom Patton P0609

Viagra's not used by the masses.
Some need it to get piece of asses.
While a few end up blind;
Find themselves in a bind,
I'll just use it until I need glasses.
--- Tom Patton P0609

From the sun I keep my eyes shaded;
My nerves are shattered and frayded.
But I still linger on,
Though all hope is gone.
Viagra they say makes you brain dead.
--- Anon

That Viagra thing doesn't work
Embarrassed? I felt such a Jerk
For taking two pills
Did not cure my ills,
But gave a throbbing knee-jerk.
--- Anon

Please give my poor pup a big break.
He has a big bone, when awake.
'Cause pills that I need
That get in his feed,
Are from the VIAGRA I take.
--- Chris Papa

There was an old lecher named Boone
Who took his Viagra too soon.
The hooker was late
And left him to his fate.
He was found on the floor in a swoon.

(not enough blood to his brain - McW)
--- Popsicle TP9901a

Viagra has one side effect
And one not too hard to detect.
Instructions just follow --
If slowly, you'll get a stiff neck.
--- Irving Superior P9808X

For one little blue pill, Mr. Beck
Gave his doctor a very large check.
The Doc, from Nantucket,
Said, "Swallow, don't suck it --
Or you'll get a very stiff neck."
--- H Myers TP9806A

So Viagra kills people -- No lie!
I really don't care to know why.
Whatever you say,
I think that it may
Be a wonderful way to go die.
--- Puff Adder

Dear Doctor, don't ever prescribe
This Viagra (without a bribe)
'Cause first guys have sex --
After that -- heart attacks,
Which diminishes size of our tribe.
--- Nik Synytskyy

This is file nel

Viagra, so I've heard it said,
Can make one quite vigorous in bed.
But I wouldn't use it,
If it came right down to it;
'Cause I'd rather be limp than be dead.
--- Jon Gearhart

"Viagra's a problem," says Brown,
The undertaker showing a frown.
"I've got dozens of cases
With smiles on their faces,
But I can't get the lids to stay down!"
--- H Myers TP9806X

Viagra is not just for guys,
But it's certain to change pussy size.
These gals will have vents
The size of pup tents.
(Now that's sure to make a cock rise.)
--- Irish

If Viagra works as they say:
Pop one, de rigeur, as foreplay!
One's honor uphold...
But we have been told,
That the maximum dose for the day?
--- Nick Lanyon

Watch out for Viagra! It kills!
Don't trust any guys taking pills.
If he has to eat stuff
Before charging the muff,
Make sure it is you, not those pills.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Dead Viagra men need taller hearses;
That's why I am writing these verses.
Though being stone dead
The coroner said,
"The stiffs have shown no reverses!"
--- Marsha Magee TP9806

Viagra may just be a dream
For giving your pecker some steam.
It's now been reported
Your vision's distorted;
Things aren't as LARGE as they seem!
--- Barbara

I guess, though, the saying is true,
That luck comes to all, even you.
But as for your style,
It's out by a mile;
Like Dubya, you haven't a clue.
--- mdt1

Do you oggle in the color blue?
What the hell's the matter with you?
Do you have a prescription
That upsets your vision,
When trying to get ready to screw?
--- mdt1

Since Viagra now aids my embrace,
And of impotence there is no trace,
You'd think I'd be elated,
But it's much overrated,
Since my stamina now can't keep pace.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0105

Have you heard of the elderly groom
Who Viagra-ed on his honeymoon.
With all his clothes shed,
He raced to the bed
And pole-vaulted out of the room.
--- Irving Superior P9808

Viagra, the little blue pill;
It may work but only with skill.
Those scientists demean us -
It falls off the penis!
Use scotch tape to help it keep still!
--- Anon X

All wrinkled and lazy it lies;
Viagra has caused it to rise.
I thought I would thrill her,
But now I'm a killer;
She just dropped dead from surprise!
--- Ray Hemphill TP9804a

If shorter, your love life it mauls,
It doesn't do much for recalls,
When 'quickie' goes bang,
And limply you hang,
She'll leave you at Viagra falls.
--- Chris Papa

My sex life, it has been rough;
Viagra's some real powerful stuff.
The girls do complain
If they feel too much pain,
As I enter their normal-sized muff.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My sex life has just been a wreck.
I bought some Viagra on spec.
Before I could gloat,
It stuck in my throat.
The only thing stiff is my neck.
--- Frank Fazed a

When in Britain, Viagra sales dip,
A team's formed to prevent the slip.
They solved it real quick
By adding Chap-Stik;
That's how Brits keep a stiff upper lip.
--- Wade Fincher X

His wife said she fancied a fuck,
So Viagra he started to suck;
But he felt a bit lame
When the tablet became
Twixt his throat and esophagus, stuck.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now that tablet lived up to its spec,
Even though it was stuck in his neck.
With a stiffening feeling
His head hit the ceiling.
Concussed, he collapsed on the deck.
--- Peter Wilkins

His wife thought, "I hope he's not dead."
But he woke and said, "Let's go to bed."
That was ten days ago,
Now his wife's all aglow;
He just cannot stop giving her head.
--- Peter Wilkins

Quite rightly, I do want to star;
As is, I might fill yp your jar.
With so little space
For skill, in this case
Viagra might swell it too far.
--- H Welchel

They're simply not working for me;
On Thursday I took twenty three.
Instead of a lump,
I had a stomach pump.
Seems I'd done a Viagra OD!

(OD - over dose)
--- Fester

There once was a man from Niagara,
Accidentally took ten Viagra.
His peckers as large
As a waterfront barge;
His girlfriends say it will gag ya'!
--- Irish

Viagra, the little blue pill;
Reputed to give men a thrill.
My Charlie took it.
He cried, "Hey, Look-it!"
He sits there admiring it -- STILL!
--- Marty TP9807

Viagra's more valued than gold,
And helps me at cards, so I'm told.
Strip poker I play,
And no longer say
I have to limp out, 'cause I fold.
--- Ray Hemphill X

Viagra, to which I'm addicted,
Works better by far, than depicted.
It's gone from quite limp
To as big as a blimp,
Which is more than my previous dick did.
--- Anon

Viagra lets an aging codger
Come to bat like Duke Snider, the Dodger.
For double-headers, its great.
Try it on a date;
You'll score more than the Maris boy, Roger.
--- Norm Brust

Young Fred, who lived west of L.A.,
Tried to beef up his bratwurst last May.
Adding peppers and spice,
He ground everything twice --
Now he takes Viagra each day.
--- Steven A Shaw

Viagra increased his libido;
He screwed every girl in Toledo.
They all had blue eyes,
Blue twats the right size,
Except for a cross-dresser named Guido.
--- Marsha Magee TP9806

An octogenarian nudist from Bude
Was thought by some to be lewd.
On a trip to Niagara,
He stocked up on Viagra,
And now you should see him extrude!
--- Anon

Viagra the little blue pill
Certainly does fit the bill.
I've taken it once
And fucked 50 cunts;
Have YOU got a crevice to fill?
--- Anon

He felt like a sexual traitor,
But was lacking the right activator,
'Til his wife filled the bill
With a little blue pill.
Now some viable grabbings await her.
--- Rory Ewins

Sam's wife said, "Of sex I want more,"
So Viagra he bought at the store.
But a Viagra tower
Can last for an hour;
Now the lady's both happy --- and sore!
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209