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An old geezer who turned niney-three, First honeymoon's great at Niagara, There once was a druggist named Rizer, Pfizer's chemists are sure enterprising, The drug makers have no compunction Now sales are decidedly placid; A drop in demand for the pills The little blue pill was a must The shareholders gained, you will find, The Viagra Quality Director, A chap (a known womanizer) My portfolio's taken a beatin', (Eaton labs - big in urology products)
This shouldn't be a disaster Viagra in drink form is new, I once bought a company's stock; If getting a boner's a chore, The spouting hot spring is a GEYSER, My adviser said, "Don't be a miser. Viagra by storm took the nation, With sales of Viagra so good, I too, wanted my investments right on, The sheik's harem, well sated and awed, A couple of guys who were queer Pfizer Drugs find themselves in a bind. Viagra's not used by the masses. From the sun I keep my eyes shaded; That Viagra thing doesn't work Please give my poor pup a big break. There was an old lecher named Boone (not enough blood to his brain - McW)
Viagra has one side effect For one little blue pill, Mr. Beck So Viagra kills people -- No lie! Dear Doctor, don't ever prescribe Viagra, so I've heard it said, "Viagra's a problem," says Brown, Viagra is not just for guys, If Viagra works as they say: Watch out for Viagra! It kills! Dead Viagra men need taller hearses; Viagra may just be a dream I guess, though, the saying is true, Do you oggle in the color blue? Since Viagra now aids my embrace, Have you heard of the elderly groom Viagra, the little blue pill; All wrinkled and lazy it lies; If shorter, your love life it mauls, My sex life, it has been rough; My sex life has just been a wreck. When in Britain, Viagra sales dip, His wife said she fancied a fuck, Now that tablet lived up to its spec, His wife thought, "I hope he's not dead." Quite rightly, I do want to star; They're simply not working for me; (OD - over dose)
There once was a man from Niagara, Viagra, the little blue pill; Viagra's more valued than gold, Viagra, to which I'm addicted, Viagra lets an aging codger Young Fred, who lived west of L.A., Viagra increased his libido; An octogenarian nudist from Bude Viagra the little blue pill He felt like a sexual traitor, Sam's wife said, "Of sex I want more,"
Said, "I know this Viagra ain't free,
But it won't go to waste,
I even like the taste,
And the old wife's more kindly to me.
--- Lee Malone TP9806
Then if you don't die of pellagra
Or terrible wheezes,
Or noxious diseases,
You'll someday be glad of Viagra.
--- Island Singer
Whose opinion was always the wiser:
"For an evening sublime,
Viagra works fine,
But for great sex, I buy shares of Pfizer.
--- Jeannette Cook P9806
Viagra's effect so surprising,
The dirty old men
Are young once again.
Their prospects for sex are now rising.
--- Tom Patton P9806
To give names to conditions with unction.
No more "limp dick"
Or even "dead stick",
The new name's "erectile disfunction".
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0503
Investors' demeanor is acid.
And the market for Pfizer,
No longer a riser,
Can only be flouted as flaccid.
--- Hugh Clary
Will not only silence the tills,
But stop all the guys
Who can't make it rise,
From using their dicks like road drills.
--- SFA
But now appear to be bust.
The fellows who counted
On it to get mounted,
Will now have no outlet for lust.
--- Scott Oliver
Increased potency as the shares climbed;
But with eyesight and stocks
Flagging, like their cocks--
It'll be "the blind kneading the blind".
--- Jester Jon
Said, "I'm only the pill inspector,
And my job isn't done
Till I test every one,
'Cause that's what I took this job for."
--- Lee Malone TP9806
Had stopped in to see his adviser,
As to how to invest;
'Twas heard, "Surely you jest!
I'd advise you to put all in Pfizer."
--- Pilar
So my broker, he calls this big meetin'.
"Your stock is a bummer,
Pfizer's the comer!
Please ditch this obsession with Eaton."
--- Irish
For something easy to master.
If I had been wiser
I'd invested in Pfizer;
They already made Viagra faster!
--- Paul D
From Pepsi in two thousand two,
Convenient so if one,
Desires a stiff one,
It's pourable and called "Mount 'N Do."
--- Bob Giandomenico P0202X
They made splints to stiffen your cock.
They were doing just fine;
Now Viagra's on line.
My stock has just dropped like a rock!
--- Puff Adder
Let Pfizer, Inc. help you to score.
To prime the old pump
Cost ten bucks a hump.
Would you mind redefining a whore?
--- Irish
An image reminding old miser
Of fleeting glory,
A maid named Cori,
And Viagra story from Pfizer.
--- Daniel Ford
You can get quite a rise out of Pfizer.
You should buy a large block
Of this company's stock,
Since it's shooting straight up like a geyser."
--- Jerry Nordal P9806
Inciting a joyful elation.
Passions rising from trance,
Mostly right in the pants.
Gave Pfizer a standing ovation.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9807
The value of Pfizer now should
Climb so high that soon it'll
Be just like Engine Little,
And be known as "The Old Stock That Could."
--- Jerry Nordal P980
But the name of the company was gone
From my head, so I said
I'll grasp at a thread.
I put all my cash in Upjohn.
--- S C Saint
Cried, "Praise Allah!" and rose to applaud.
But the sheik said, "Please cite me:
It was not the almighty --
'Twas the tablet from Pfizer, by God!"
--- William N Nesbit P9806
Slipped Viagra in straight Harry's beer.
The resulting erection
They view as confection.
Said Harry, "Girls, I'm outta here"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0208
What to do, they can't make up their mind.
Back when you were a lad,
Told masturbation was bad;
Now Viagra is making men blind.
--- Tom Patton P0609
Some need it to get piece of asses.
While a few end up blind;
Find themselves in a bind,
I'll just use it until I need glasses.
--- Tom Patton P0609
My nerves are shattered and frayded.
But I still linger on,
Though all hope is gone.
Viagra they say makes you brain dead.
--- Anon
Embarrassed? I felt such a Jerk
For taking two pills
Did not cure my ills,
But gave a throbbing knee-jerk.
--- Anon
He has a big bone, when awake.
'Cause pills that I need
That get in his feed,
Are from the VIAGRA I take.
--- Chris Papa
Who took his Viagra too soon.
The hooker was late
And left him to his fate.
He was found on the floor in a swoon.
--- Popsicle TP9901a
And one not too hard to detect.
Instructions just follow --
DO NOT SLOWLY SWALLOW!
If slowly, you'll get a stiff neck.
--- Irving Superior P9808X
Gave his doctor a very large check.
The Doc, from Nantucket,
Said, "Swallow, don't suck it --
Or you'll get a very stiff neck."
--- H Myers TP9806A
I really don't care to know why.
Whatever you say,
I think that it may
Be a wonderful way to go die.
--- Puff Adder
This Viagra (without a bribe)
'Cause first guys have sex --
After that -- heart attacks,
Which diminishes size of our tribe.
--- Nik Synytskyy
This is file nel
Can make one quite vigorous in bed.
But I wouldn't use it,
If it came right down to it;
'Cause I'd rather be limp than be dead.
--- Jon Gearhart
The undertaker showing a frown.
"I've got dozens of cases
With smiles on their faces,
But I can't get the lids to stay down!"
--- H Myers TP9806X
But it's certain to change pussy size.
These gals will have vents
The size of pup tents.
(Now that's sure to make a cock rise.)
--- Irish
Pop one, de rigeur, as foreplay!
One's honor uphold...
But we have been told,
That the maximum dose for the day?
--- Nick Lanyon
Don't trust any guys taking pills.
If he has to eat stuff
Before charging the muff,
Make sure it is you, not those pills.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That's why I am writing these verses.
Though being stone dead
The coroner said,
"The stiffs have shown no reverses!"
--- Marsha Magee TP9806
For giving your pecker some steam.
It's now been reported
Your vision's distorted;
Things aren't as LARGE as they seem!
--- Barbara
That luck comes to all, even you.
But as for your style,
It's out by a mile;
Like Dubya, you haven't a clue.
--- mdt1
What the hell's the matter with you?
Do you have a prescription
That upsets your vision,
When trying to get ready to screw?
--- mdt1
And of impotence there is no trace,
You'd think I'd be elated,
But it's much overrated,
Since my stamina now can't keep pace.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0105
Who Viagra-ed on his honeymoon.
With all his clothes shed,
He raced to the bed
And pole-vaulted out of the room.
--- Irving Superior P9808
It may work but only with skill.
Those scientists demean us -
It falls off the penis!
Use scotch tape to help it keep still!
--- Anon X
Viagra has caused it to rise.
I thought I would thrill her,
But now I'm a killer;
She just dropped dead from surprise!
--- Ray Hemphill TP9804a
It doesn't do much for recalls,
When 'quickie' goes bang,
And limply you hang,
She'll leave you at Viagra falls.
--- Chris Papa
Viagra's some real powerful stuff.
The girls do complain
If they feel too much pain,
As I enter their normal-sized muff.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I bought some Viagra on spec.
Before I could gloat,
It stuck in my throat.
The only thing stiff is my neck.
--- Frank Fazed a
A team's formed to prevent the slip.
They solved it real quick
By adding Chap-Stik;
That's how Brits keep a stiff upper lip.
--- Wade Fincher X
So Viagra he started to suck;
But he felt a bit lame
When the tablet became
Twixt his throat and esophagus, stuck.
--- Peter Wilkins
Even though it was stuck in his neck.
With a stiffening feeling
His head hit the ceiling.
Concussed, he collapsed on the deck.
--- Peter Wilkins
But he woke and said, "Let's go to bed."
That was ten days ago,
Now his wife's all aglow;
He just cannot stop giving her head.
--- Peter Wilkins
As is, I might fill yp your jar.
With so little space
For skill, in this case
Viagra might swell it too far.
--- H Welchel
On Thursday I took twenty three.
Instead of a lump,
I had a stomach pump.
Seems I'd done a Viagra OD!
--- Fester
Accidentally took ten Viagra.
His peckers as large
As a waterfront barge;
His girlfriends say it will gag ya'!
--- Irish
Reputed to give men a thrill.
My Charlie took it.
He cried, "Hey, Look-it!"
He sits there admiring it -- STILL!
--- Marty TP9807
And helps me at cards, so I'm told.
Strip poker I play,
And no longer say
I have to limp out, 'cause I fold.
--- Ray Hemphill X
Works better by far, than depicted.
It's gone from quite limp
To as big as a blimp,
Which is more than my previous dick did.
--- Anon
Come to bat like Duke Snider, the Dodger.
For double-headers, its great.
Try it on a date;
You'll score more than the Maris boy, Roger.
--- Norm Brust
Tried to beef up his bratwurst last May.
Adding peppers and spice,
He ground everything twice --
Now he takes Viagra each day.
--- Steven A Shaw
He screwed every girl in Toledo.
They all had blue eyes,
Blue twats the right size,
Except for a cross-dresser named Guido.
--- Marsha Magee TP9806
Was thought by some to be lewd.
On a trip to Niagara,
He stocked up on Viagra,
And now you should see him extrude!
--- Anon
Certainly does fit the bill.
I've taken it once
And fucked 50 cunts;
Have YOU got a crevice to fill?
--- Anon
But was lacking the right activator,
'Til his wife filled the bill
With a little blue pill.
Now some viable grabbings await her.
--- Rory Ewins
So Viagra he bought at the store.
But a Viagra tower
Can last for an hour;
Now the lady's both happy --- and sore!
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209
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