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I hope I'm not soundin a bore, Karma Sutra? I've thrown it away. A frotteur whose morals were fetid, (frotteur - one who masturbates by rubbing against another)
Your attitude is a dilly; Protest innocence if you must, A certain young fellow named Kurtz I'm not saying others aren't great, A Ph.D., Anthony Paine, There was a young girl named Dewald There was a young man from Tacoma "Hallelujah!" he sang, "I'm a bum! To account for his loved one's devotion? Said a virile you tourist from Galion, A young man who is admired greatly Bahama Bleu welcomed me, "Hey man! When six I would daydream and doze Sixteen, and I met with delight And now I am older and gray; A well-built young fellow named Buck Thirteen, and I found without doubt Men come in two basic types The lad with the woman is Danny, There once was a happy young maid His name and fame traveled by jet. An anxious young lady, so fair, Maggie is such a fine bitch -- There was a collector named Dintage Perfection is frequently sought; I'd just like to make a correction, I too, sing a paragon song; A fellow named Pike from Lone Creek All hail to the essence of male, Disposition and spirit complex, Rugged build that exudes virile power, Courageous and brave to a fault, Far Cathy with its mountains of yang, He said "There's no need to get manic. Had his life had an earlier span, You can't be referring to me, Another fine lad that I know, I once knew a guy from Connecticut Mocking, "I told you so," with a grin, Unnatural lust delights Rex -- A mate with a girl in each dock It's just not the size of your tool, I learned back in school more than grammar; There was a young fellow named Mortie There was a young man dressed in satin, A reluctant young lady from Mandan A young fellow received much accclaim She lay on the sheets and said sensually, There's a Texan, a satyr of note A fastidious youth from Montana There was a young fellow named Les He's a uterine engineer, There was an old prude of Vancouver, His place of abode: Willimantic; And I have a store that's quite near There was an old man from the Nile For soakin' you've got yourself ready To the hotel one night I did go There once was a fellow named Hoaner A swashbuckling dude up from Dover A lecherous blind guy named Dale Jeff has a superior smile, There once was a Mike who was bitter, I think I know why women fail
But girls always come back for more.
To me you won't say,
"Now please go away!"
Instead you'll be saying "Encore!"
--- Frank Sfa
I've tried it and this I can say:
When I've gone by the book,
I've gotten less nook,
Than simply just feeling my way.
--- John Miller
His associates deeply regretted.
Though they had to admit
He had ways with a tit--
Just see how much cunt the lout netted!
--- G2405a
Each morning you play with your willy,
While scratching your ass
And passing some gas.
I love you, Valentine; fuck me silly!
--- Anon
But it will not cure my disgust.
A jockey is fine
But nothing Equine,
For I want a gal I can trust.
--- Anon
Often says, as he slowly inserts,
"In the hour of my leisure,
I like to give pleasure;
In this case, I'l give till it hurts."
--- Isaac Asimov
But for expertese, they're lightweight.
My tongue on your clit
Close to your cockpit,
Will cause you hallucinate.
--- S C Saint
Had a really magnificent brain.
But when he had a thought,
And it amounted to naught,
He started all over again.
--- William K Alsop Jr
Who was in her bedroom appalled
By the agile virility
And the great capability
Of the man that she screwed that was bald.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0109
Who outwitted the Duchess Carona,
By trial and by error,
He artfully dared her
And beat her at hide the balogna.
--- Allan Ecker
And I travel the world on my thumb.
The cops hate me, I think;
I don't bathe and I stink;
Yet I still make the girls I screw come!"
--- John Miller 0252
It is not, he insists, a love potion.
There's no trouble explaining;
It's his knack of maintaining
A long-sustained in-and-out motion.
--- Isaac Asimov
Who was hung like a champion stallion:
"I've fucked girls from Fort Worth
To the ends of the Earth--
NONE match the hot female Italian!"
--- G0666
Approaches all sex acts sedately.
Girls go into spasms,
Titanic orgasms;
He's not moved, he's a Johnny come lately.
--- Tom Patton P0308
So nice you come visit Grand Cayman!
Are you gigolo?"
Surprised, I said "No,
Professional not -- just a layman!"
--- Travis
About life as a firefighter. Those
Were the days with no cares
And no woes, unawares
Just what fun I could have with my hose.
--- Anon
A young maiden who set me alight.
A young virgin who burned;
And together we learned
That my hose had the power to excite.
--- Anon
I remember that very first day
We succumbed to desires
And extinguished our fires,
With my firefighter's hose at full spray.
--- Anon
Would go all the way when he'd fuck.
Girls who sampled his stuff
Found that once was enough,
For each felt she'd been hit by a truck.
--- Isaac Asimov
What this hose thing I had was about.
So my firefighter dream
Had come true it would seem
But 'twas only my fires I put out.
--- Anon
There is no simple prototypes
Either basically charming,
Or completely disarming;
Me - I love 'em. There's no gripes.
--- Anon
Who starts with a pinch on the fanny.
A gallant crusader
With an able persuader --
His average per week is uncanny.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who would get into bed, undismayed,
Since it seemed that her friend
Could endure to the end,
With the end very nicely delayed.
--- Isaac Asimov A
World-known, he expressed no regret.
"I'd be first to disclaim
All unmerited fame,
But I haven't encountered it yet."
--- Laurence Perrine P8607
Requested her escort, Pierre,
To advise what he'd do
When prepared for a screw.
"It is neither," he said, "here nor there."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0135
But her PC was all full of glitch.
Till one day came a Choad,
Who lightened her load,
And found where her on/off was switched.
--- H Welchel
Who checked every coin for its mintage.
His paintings were rare
And selected with care,
And the ladies he screwed were all vintage.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2016
Unlike a disease, can't be caught.
Those of us who are,
Leave the door ajar
For those who are yet to be taught.
--- Tony Burrell
Since giving that lim an inspection:
It's oft been repeated
That I am conceited.
No more, now I'm total perfection.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Being perfect, now, for so long.
Though once I declared
That my judgment had erred,
In fact, that admission was wrong.
--- Hugh Clary
Would entertain girls with his trick;
He'd make his balls twirl,
And they'd bounce and then whirl,
But the star of the show was Pike's prick.
--- Bob Birch P0900
Strength and grace on the grandest grand scale;
We regale noble deeds,
We applaud when he leads,
We exalt a man's tender impale.
--- Joel D Ash P0204
From caveman to gentle apex;
Often shy, often bold,
Kingly rex shining gold,
Many ways thousand fold of this sex.
--- Joel D Ash P0204
This is file nbl
Potent knight, handsome man of the hour;
A fair maiden defender,
Delight in his gender,
His nature man's urge to deflower.
--- Joel D Ash P0204
Exemplar disposed to assault;
Bugles stir fighting blood,
Charge across fields of mud,
Heart basalt ancient poems doth exalt.
--- Joel D Ash P0204
From whence man eternal once sprang;
Sons gloried on earth,
Yangtze pride in such birth,
Reverence shown to a child born with tang.
--- Joel D Ash P0204
For I've got a crank more organic,
But you wanted a screw,
So that's just what I'll do,
I'm a qualified pussy mechanic."
--- Anon
Or pursued an alternative plan,
Or a different twist,
I persist to insist,
He might have been a Renaissance Man.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P9912
Because soon, whipper-snapper, you'll see
That the ladies don't laugh
At the sight of my staff;
They just jump it and ride it with glee.
--- Anon
And oh how that young man can blow!
He's a fantastic lay
Who knows how to make hay.
I was quite sad to see the lad go.
--- Wersh
In behavior bereft of all ecticut.
He would strip to the nude
The most reticent prude...
I don't know if he could, but he secticut.
--- Keith MacMillan A029B
Was his smug way of savoring a win.
Entertaining no notion
To ever use lotion
As he persisted to "rub it in."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P0409
What's kinky, illegal, complex;
His wicket gets sticky,
Techniques can prove tricky,
But Christ! What sensational sex!
--- Armand Singer P2006
Continuously saw to his flock.
They awaited with fever
Whom they knicknamed 'The Weaver'
'Cause his was the best shuttlecock.
--- Bill Backe-Hansen P8802
That makes girls like me swoon and drool.
I will not deny it;
It's how you apply it,
Inside of my own precious jewel.
--- Anon
In shop class, this caused quite a clamor.
"It's your skill with the drill
That produces the thrill,
And not just the size of your hammer."
--- Al Willis A
Who mentally was just a shorty.
But in matters of love,
He was shoulders above.
His I.Q. on his couch was one-forty.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who lived in a house with a cat in.
He was noted to speak
In Biblical Greek,
And quoted the classics in Latin.
--- Richard Long
Tried to shift what he'd gotten his hand on;
But after some stroking,
He soon had her smoking
In flaming and lustful abandon.
--- Hugh Oliver A092C
For his skill in the sexual game.
A real Juggernaut,
He easily brought
Three girls to the peak ere he came.
--- Isaac Asimov
"Come talk to me sexy in French, Uli."
Such a talented man,
He's a tongue with a tan;
Accomplished in bed and accentually.
--- Rory Ewins
And a sexual acrobat, quote,
Who longhorn performance
Is so wild and enormance,
Gals feel when they see him, unquote!
--- Grand Prix Lim 950
Would undress in an elegant manner,
And for sex would prepare,
Cleaning teeth, combing hair,
(Head and pubic) before he began her.
--- Keith MacMillan A073A
Who persuaded a girl to undress.
The news of this score
Brought him twenty-five more,
For nothing suceeds like success.
--- Isaac Asimov
With diploma from Paul Revere.
On the big front door
Of his brand new store,
This sign: Loose Women Tightened Here!
--- Anon
So frigid that no one could move her.
Till one lad did the trick
With a dip of his wick,
In a special Vancouver manoeuvre.
--- Keith MacMillan 105b
The size of his organ: gigantic;
If we add that he's wealthy
And his need for sex healthy,
We know why he drives the girls frantic.
--- Armand E Singer 935
And the signage on it is clear:
Reluctant virgins
Get hymen purgin's -
"Tight Women are Loosened Here!"
--- Anon
Whose sexual habits were vile.
Yet whenever he'd score,
The women all swore
That he sure made perversion worthwhile.
--- Isaac Asimov
And I've got my hose for you. Bet he
Fires off at first touch;
He missed you so much,
That likely he'll spew long and steady.
--- Anon
And spotted a likely new beau,
A lad five-and-twenty,
Boasts the penis of plenty
Experience, but it was all show!
--- Anon
With a truly incredible boner,
But he otherwise failed
To impress, so he sailed,
And he lived his whole life as a loner.
--- Cap'n Bean
Was known to the girls as a rover.
So they gave a fake sigh,
And kissed him goodbye,
And returned to their beaux in the clover.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Spent a wee bit of time in the jail,
For groping a dame;
His defense was his claim:
He was reading her body by Braille.
--- Cap'n Bean P0412
With hands behind back all the while.
He walks up and down
With a nose that is brown
And a mind that is probably vile.
--- Archie
Which caused all the women to titter.
And since they thought he was keen
And not at all mean,
He was carried around on a litter.
--- Anon
To know what it is to be male:
Where once I could chuck-it
Straight into the Bucket,
I now have to carry the pail!
--- Anon
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