Those squid on their migrating path,
As they travel from Eastbourne to Bath,
I was not to know
That my kit was on show
To that woman who sat by her hearth.
--- Tiddy Ogg

So, your Honor, I make this submission,
Which I do with the deepest contrition:
My conscience is clear,
I, as you did hear,
Was upholding an ancient tradition.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I never give shipments to Pegasus
Since the manager, Hideous Heggasus,
Is a model of couth,
Decorum and truth,
So surely, he ain't the same yegg as us.
--- Anon

There was a young man from Dublin
Who had a baby pet goblin.
As it grew up,
It fell into a cup,
And came out a limpin' and hoblin'_
--- Susan Meazey

The Phoenix comes out in the Spring,
And then it flaps a lot of wing.
But with a good hex
Upon its male sex,
It will wind up not doing a thing.
--- Lims Unlimited

The satyr is only a myth,
But when he drinks down a fifth,
He chases the maids
Around mossy glades,
And is a force to be reckoned with.
--- Lims Unlimited

Lewis Carroll spoke of slithy toves,
Which didn't look like turtledoves.
But they would gyre and gimble,
This tells us they're nimble,
But I wouldn't touch one with gloves.
--- William K Alsop Jr

In Egypt, Houdini once saw
A sight that inspired his awe:
A blasphemous sphinx
That possibly thinks
With its head on the toes of its paws.
--- Michael Tice P0512Q

In Egypt resides the old Sphinx,
Who sits in the sun and just thinks
Of dark Ptolemy.
Of Rameses 111
And of Kool-Aid and other cold drinks.
--- William Peterson P0101

My fingers outnumber my toes;
My ears are too far from my nose;
And because of my size,
I was given four eyes,
Arranged in two vertical rows.
--- Limber Limericks

A poet, whose pen-name was Seuss,
Was arrested for verse too abstruse.
To lead him to jail,
They followed the trail
Of a South-going, web-footed floose.
--- Bill

At night he soars into her house,
And wings his way o'er sleeping spouse;
In cleft of her breast
He builds his warm nest:
Now that's why that bird's a 'titmouse'!
--- Travis Brasell

There once was a man from Juneau,
With a twelve-legged dog named Bruno.
He was always skidding.
What? You think I'm kidding?
Well, how in the fuck would you know?
--- MrMalo

White steed plunging through the night;
Golden horn flashing in the moonlight;
The unicorn runs
Toward oblivion.
Would that we had more foresight.
--- Azul

That unicorn's famed for his horn
And the truth that he never was born.
Had he kind of existed,
He might have been enlisted
To clear the park's litter-laced lawn.
--- David A Brooks Q

You guys come in throngs with popcorn,
Calling me an ugly unicorn.
Horny? that's fine;
Eat chocolate and wine,
But for Eros sake, spare my poor horn!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

An old unicorn owner forlorn
Fucked his beast in the ass every morn.
Once, drunk as a boar,
He mistook aft for fore,
And they found him impaled on the horn.
--- Albin Chaplin

A lass on a beautiful morn,
Fell in love with a male unicorn.
She purchased a spell,
Recited it well,
Now she's with him with hooves, tail, and horn.
--- Tinbender

I do not mourn the lack of a list;
The big reptiles, by me are not missed.
As for unicorns, though,
I would sure like to know
If they did -- or they didn't -- exist.

(list - endangered species list for dinosaurs?)
--- William N Nesbit P9901

To Wack-a-does, thought of food brings,
Running atilt, 'round in rings.
And to express joy,
Their voices employ
A bagpipe drone, while it sings.
--- Chris Papa

The Wack-a-do Bird never was
Covered in feathers, just fuzz.
It shivers a lot,
And tries to stay hot,
Just like my big Doberman does.
--- Chris Papa

The dragon of Churchill-on-Crescent
Made a small meal out of a peasant.
He tasted so bad,
That the dragon got mad
And made himself very unpleasant.
--- Anon

A dragon once thought 'twas an earner
By making its fires more sterner.
But since it was small,
The reply to its call,
Was just to work as a bunsen burner.
--- Barry Rosenberg P0608

My dragon's named Daffyd Gruad;
Of his hoard he so very proud.
If you steal a jewel,
Don't look for renewal.
You will not be needing a shroud.
--- Archie

It is not only smoke he exhales,
When he is breathing out in big gales.
He melts lead on the roof;
Large birdies go "poof"
And thieves simply leave large ash trails.
--- Archie

He has a soft spot for sapphires;
There're something that raise his desires.
And emeralds green
He likes to be seein';
These gifts sometimes dampen his fires.
--- Archie

Daffyd and the dwarves are at war.
The dwarves deep mine for rich ore;
And stones of great hue
They deftly persue.
In these things they place greatest store.
--- Archie

While dragons need them for their hoards,
The dwarves set out guards with big swords,
In their deepest cave
Attempting to save
Their jewel encrusted gold gourds.
--- Archie

The great dwarves lore tells just where
A sword can be stuck, with great care.
And dead dragons bones
Make underground thrones,
And great dwarf Kings will sit there!
--- Archie

But dragons will not just stand still
And try to do dwarven guards ill.
And sharp dwarven swords
Have Daffyd's hide scored
And stuck, like a porcupine quill.
--- Archie

So Daffyd's huge jewelery hoard
Holds many a great dwarven sword,
Surrounded by skulls
From Dwarven guard culls
And all of their jewels his reward!
--- Archie

Around these small baubles now revolves
This tale and all that it involves.
With dragons grieving
And greed and thieving,
And virgins and sorcery evolves.
--- Archie

The events which now will be written
Somewhere in the hills of old Britain,
Sir Ffrank the rapacious,
For being predacious,
Was denounced by the Lords of the Witan!
--- Archie

This is file mzk

So covered in armour, all black,
He continued the weak to attack.
But they were so poor,
He wanted much more;
Rich pickings that he could ransack.
--- Archie

On hearing some rumors, anon,
Of a village whose dragon was gone,
He snuck in its cave,
This frumious knave,
And with all its gold, was begone!
--- Archie

The small hoard of Thomas the Blue,
Unguarded by dwarves, he was slew.
Despite fourteen dead,
They cut off his head
And on his cooked flesh they did chew.
--- Archie

Sir Ffrank became boasting and proud
And told of his exploit out loud.
Handmaidens betressed
Were more than impressed,
And 'round him they formed a big crowd.
--- Archie

Go back twenty years, a real meanie
Was by all of the witches made Queenie.
She stirred up her pot,
Made spells from old snot.
And worse, her true name was just Jeanie.
--- Archie

A dragon that Jeanie just hated
For birth in a field she just waited
And cute little Morgan
Was born in the sorghum,
But boglins to Jeanie then prated.
--- Archie

The stitch in her madness and wroth
Cast spells in her pot and then quoth
"Now Morgan is cursed
As human be nursed!"
And added a terrible oath.
--- Archie

"And girl you shall be till you walk
Through dragonfire with a balk.
Only then will your scales
Attract dragon males.
'Til then only human you'll talk!"
--- Archie

So Morgan was raised as a girl
And learned how to knit and to purl.
And often her sister
Would gladly assist her
While putting her hair in a curl.
--- Archie

Her sister was Vicki the good,
Who helped in young Morgan's girlhood;
Raised her fit for an Earl
But she'd only twirl
At the sight of the dragon Daffyd.
--- Archie

For Daffyd was handsome and strong;
A dragon whose tail was so long,
With a flame that's so hot,
The smile that he's got
Makes Morgan's young heart sing a song.
--- Archie

Meanwhile the crude lusts of Sir Ffrank,
Whose hole was unwashed and it stank,
Now caused him to ask --
Taking sips from his flask --
For the hand of sweet Morgan, point blank.
--- Archie

Sweet Vicki said, "Bold dragonslayer,
Sir Ffrank, will you please hear my prayer.
Although Morgan does cower,
A right royal dower
Will surely make her so much gayer."
--- Archie

"Perhaps," she said, thinking so fast,
And trying to flabber his ghast,
"A chest full of jewels,
Quite often in fuels
The passions of those thought downcast."
--- Archie

Young Morgan cried, beginning to swoon,
While Frank, the black-armored poltroon,
Just glared at them both
And swore a great oath,
And spat, but he missed the spitoon.
--- Archie

"For Morgan's fair hand, I will bring
A Dragonstone green, and be-ring
My best chosen wench."
And being part French,
He started his au revoiring.
--- Archie

And when he had gone through the door,
Our Morgan arose from the floor.
"Oh, Vicki," she cried,
Quite far from dry-eyed,
"I heard the fell oath that he swore!:
--- Archie

"My Daffyd loves green stones the most;
Now soon he will just be a ghost.
The nasty Sir Ffrank
Will come back and swank;
He'll brag with bravado and boast!"
--- Archie

But Vicki just smiled, "There's a cost
To love which must risk being lost.
Run, give him your glove.
In battle, your love
May save him from being down-tossed.
--- Archie

Sir Ffrank entered into the cave,
The home of our Daffyd the brave,
In which all of his gems
And gold diadems,
The walls and the floor, line and pave.
--- Archie

Sir Ffrank hid the reason for meeting
Behind a kind jovial greeting,
So Daffyd smiled back,
Not fearing attack,
And offered both tea and a seating.
--- Archie

For dragons are basically kind;
They love to talk, just mind to mind.
Their thinking is deep,
Providing you keep
Returning stray jewels you may find.
--- Archie

The blackest of knights looked around;
His eyes lit on gems in a mound.
Dissembling still,
He planned to do ill,
While visiting there underground.
--- Archie

And Morgan was scared for her Daff,
So she left the castle so safe.
Evading the guard,
She then ran so hard,
And arrived at the cave like a waif.
--- Archie

And entering inside she saw
The drama unfold on the floor.
With glove in her hand,
She only could stand
And watch the green dragonblood pour.
--- Archie

From dwarven law foul Ffrank had learned
That dragonblood by dragonfire's spurned.
And so the first blow
Unwarned from below
Had split Daffyd snout before it burned.
--- Archie

The blood falling down like a stream,
Spilt his fire and turned into steam.
Two small bands of flame
Confused Daffy's aim,
For Ffrank's scheme had worked like a dream.
--- Archie

Defended by split bands of fire,
Hurt Daffyd watched Ffrank's sword rise higher,
Now aimed at his eyes,
There were no replies.
It seemed that sir Ffrank was the slyer.
--- Archie

Fair Morgan, in fear, gave a shout
And ran to give Ffrank a hard clout.
She passed through the flame
That from Daffyd's mouth came,
Distracting Sir Ffrank with a shout.
--- Archie

And the oath that the witch Jeanie made
Caused Morgans sweet girlhood to fade.
And there in her place
Was a gold dragon face,
An Ffrank, now in fear, dropped his blade.
--- Archie

They herded him back to the castle,
And gave him to Vicki like a parcel.
She had him all stripped
And deservedly whipped
Then sent to the fields as a vassal.
--- Archie

So that's how my own Daffyd Graud
Found his mate of whom he is proud.
Sweet Morgan and he
Soon married will be,
'Neath a sky where there isn't a cloud.
--- Archie

There was an old dragon from Bude,
And armoured knights he just eschewed.
He'd go out a-raidin'
For tender young maidens,
But just couldn't stomach canned food.
--- Anon

This mode of dress's not what she chose,
For her "Maiden and Dragon" pose.
She did not rejoice
At the dragon's choice --
The damn dragon singed off all her clothes!
--- Anon