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Those squid on their migrating path, So, your Honor, I make this submission, I never give shipments to Pegasus There was a young man from Dublin The Phoenix comes out in the Spring, The satyr is only a myth, Lewis Carroll spoke of slithy toves, In Egypt, Houdini once saw In Egypt resides the old Sphinx, My fingers outnumber my toes; A poet, whose pen-name was Seuss, At night he soars into her house, There once was a man from Juneau, White steed plunging through the night; That unicorn's famed for his horn You guys come in throngs with popcorn, An old unicorn owner forlorn A lass on a beautiful morn, I do not mourn the lack of a list; (list - endangered species list for dinosaurs?)
To Wack-a-does, thought of food brings, The Wack-a-do Bird never was The dragon of Churchill-on-Crescent A dragon once thought 'twas an earner My dragon's named Daffyd Gruad; It is not only smoke he exhales, He has a soft spot for sapphires; Daffyd and the dwarves are at war. While dragons need them for their hoards, The great dwarves lore tells just where But dragons will not just stand still So Daffyd's huge jewelery hoard Around these small baubles now revolves The events which now will be written So covered in armour, all black, On hearing some rumors, anon, The small hoard of Thomas the Blue, Sir Ffrank became boasting and proud Go back twenty years, a real meanie A dragon that Jeanie just hated The stitch in her madness and wroth "And girl you shall be till you walk So Morgan was raised as a girl Her sister was Vicki the good, For Daffyd was handsome and strong; Meanwhile the crude lusts of Sir Ffrank, Sweet Vicki said, "Bold dragonslayer, "Perhaps," she said, thinking so fast, Young Morgan cried, beginning to swoon, "For Morgan's fair hand, I will bring And when he had gone through the door, "My Daffyd loves green stones the most; But Vicki just smiled, "There's a cost Sir Ffrank entered into the cave, Sir Ffrank hid the reason for meeting For dragons are basically kind; The blackest of knights looked around; And Morgan was scared for her Daff, And entering inside she saw From dwarven law foul Ffrank had learned The blood falling down like a stream, Defended by split bands of fire, Fair Morgan, in fear, gave a shout And the oath that the witch Jeanie made They herded him back to the castle, So that's how my own Daffyd Graud There was an old dragon from Bude, This mode of dress's not what she chose,
As they travel from Eastbourne to Bath,
I was not to know
That my kit was on show
To that woman who sat by her hearth.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Which I do with the deepest contrition:
My conscience is clear,
I, as you did hear,
Was upholding an ancient tradition.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Since the manager, Hideous Heggasus,
Is a model of couth,
Decorum and truth,
So surely, he ain't the same yegg as us.
--- Anon
Who had a baby pet goblin.
As it grew up,
It fell into a cup,
And came out a limpin' and hoblin'_
--- Susan Meazey
And then it flaps a lot of wing.
But with a good hex
Upon its male sex,
It will wind up not doing a thing.
--- Lims Unlimited
But when he drinks down a fifth,
He chases the maids
Around mossy glades,
And is a force to be reckoned with.
--- Lims Unlimited
Which didn't look like turtledoves.
But they would gyre and gimble,
This tells us they're nimble,
But I wouldn't touch one with gloves.
--- William K Alsop Jr
A sight that inspired his awe:
A blasphemous sphinx
That possibly thinks
With its head on the toes of its paws.
--- Michael Tice P0512Q
Who sits in the sun and just thinks
Of dark Ptolemy.
Of Rameses 111
And of Kool-Aid and other cold drinks.
--- William Peterson P0101
My ears are too far from my nose;
And because of my size,
I was given four eyes,
Arranged in two vertical rows.
--- Limber Limericks
Was arrested for verse too abstruse.
To lead him to jail,
They followed the trail
Of a South-going, web-footed floose.
--- Bill
And wings his way o'er sleeping spouse;
In cleft of her breast
He builds his warm nest:
Now that's why that bird's a 'titmouse'!
--- Travis Brasell
With a twelve-legged dog named Bruno.
He was always skidding.
What? You think I'm kidding?
Well, how in the fuck would you know?
--- MrMalo
Golden horn flashing in the moonlight;
The unicorn runs
Toward oblivion.
Would that we had more foresight.
--- Azul
And the truth that he never was born.
Had he kind of existed,
He might have been enlisted
To clear the park's litter-laced lawn.
--- David A Brooks Q
Calling me an ugly unicorn.
Horny? that's fine;
Eat chocolate and wine,
But for Eros sake, spare my poor horn!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Fucked his beast in the ass every morn.
Once, drunk as a boar,
He mistook aft for fore,
And they found him impaled on the horn.
--- Albin Chaplin
Fell in love with a male unicorn.
She purchased a spell,
Recited it well,
Now she's with him with hooves, tail, and horn.
--- Tinbender
The big reptiles, by me are not missed.
As for unicorns, though,
I would sure like to know
If they did -- or they didn't -- exist.
--- William N Nesbit P9901
Running atilt, 'round in rings.
And to express joy,
Their voices employ
A bagpipe drone, while it sings.
--- Chris Papa
Covered in feathers, just fuzz.
It shivers a lot,
And tries to stay hot,
Just like my big Doberman does.
--- Chris Papa
Made a small meal out of a peasant.
He tasted so bad,
That the dragon got mad
And made himself very unpleasant.
--- Anon
By making its fires more sterner.
But since it was small,
The reply to its call,
Was just to work as a bunsen burner.
--- Barry Rosenberg P0608
Of his hoard he so very proud.
If you steal a jewel,
Don't look for renewal.
You will not be needing a shroud.
--- Archie
When he is breathing out in big gales.
He melts lead on the roof;
Large birdies go "poof"
And thieves simply leave large ash trails.
--- Archie
There're something that raise his desires.
And emeralds green
He likes to be seein';
These gifts sometimes dampen his fires.
--- Archie
The dwarves deep mine for rich ore;
And stones of great hue
They deftly persue.
In these things they place greatest store.
--- Archie
The dwarves set out guards with big swords,
In their deepest cave
Attempting to save
Their jewel encrusted gold gourds.
--- Archie
A sword can be stuck, with great care.
And dead dragons bones
Make underground thrones,
And great dwarf Kings will sit there!
--- Archie
And try to do dwarven guards ill.
And sharp dwarven swords
Have Daffyd's hide scored
And stuck, like a porcupine quill.
--- Archie
Holds many a great dwarven sword,
Surrounded by skulls
From Dwarven guard culls
And all of their jewels his reward!
--- Archie
This tale and all that it involves.
With dragons grieving
And greed and thieving,
And virgins and sorcery evolves.
--- Archie
Somewhere in the hills of old Britain,
Sir Ffrank the rapacious,
For being predacious,
Was denounced by the Lords of the Witan!
--- Archie
This is file mzk
He continued the weak to attack.
But they were so poor,
He wanted much more;
Rich pickings that he could ransack.
--- Archie
Of a village whose dragon was gone,
He snuck in its cave,
This frumious knave,
And with all its gold, was begone!
--- Archie
Unguarded by dwarves, he was slew.
Despite fourteen dead,
They cut off his head
And on his cooked flesh they did chew.
--- Archie
And told of his exploit out loud.
Handmaidens betressed
Were more than impressed,
And 'round him they formed a big crowd.
--- Archie
Was by all of the witches made Queenie.
She stirred up her pot,
Made spells from old snot.
And worse, her true name was just Jeanie.
--- Archie
For birth in a field she just waited
And cute little Morgan
Was born in the sorghum,
But boglins to Jeanie then prated.
--- Archie
Cast spells in her pot and then quoth
"Now Morgan is cursed
As human be nursed!"
And added a terrible oath.
--- Archie
Through dragonfire with a balk.
Only then will your scales
Attract dragon males.
'Til then only human you'll talk!"
--- Archie
And learned how to knit and to purl.
And often her sister
Would gladly assist her
While putting her hair in a curl.
--- Archie
Who helped in young Morgan's girlhood;
Raised her fit for an Earl
But she'd only twirl
At the sight of the dragon Daffyd.
--- Archie
A dragon whose tail was so long,
With a flame that's so hot,
The smile that he's got
Makes Morgan's young heart sing a song.
--- Archie
Whose hole was unwashed and it stank,
Now caused him to ask --
Taking sips from his flask --
For the hand of sweet Morgan, point blank.
--- Archie
Sir Ffrank, will you please hear my prayer.
Although Morgan does cower,
A right royal dower
Will surely make her so much gayer."
--- Archie
And trying to flabber his ghast,
"A chest full of jewels,
Quite often in fuels
The passions of those thought downcast."
--- Archie
While Frank, the black-armored poltroon,
Just glared at them both
And swore a great oath,
And spat, but he missed the spitoon.
--- Archie
A Dragonstone green, and be-ring
My best chosen wench."
And being part French,
He started his au revoiring.
--- Archie
Our Morgan arose from the floor.
"Oh, Vicki," she cried,
Quite far from dry-eyed,
"I heard the fell oath that he swore!:
--- Archie
Now soon he will just be a ghost.
The nasty Sir Ffrank
Will come back and swank;
He'll brag with bravado and boast!"
--- Archie
To love which must risk being lost.
Run, give him your glove.
In battle, your love
May save him from being down-tossed.
--- Archie
The home of our Daffyd the brave,
In which all of his gems
And gold diadems,
The walls and the floor, line and pave.
--- Archie
Behind a kind jovial greeting,
So Daffyd smiled back,
Not fearing attack,
And offered both tea and a seating.
--- Archie
They love to talk, just mind to mind.
Their thinking is deep,
Providing you keep
Returning stray jewels you may find.
--- Archie
His eyes lit on gems in a mound.
Dissembling still,
He planned to do ill,
While visiting there underground.
--- Archie
So she left the castle so safe.
Evading the guard,
She then ran so hard,
And arrived at the cave like a waif.
--- Archie
The drama unfold on the floor.
With glove in her hand,
She only could stand
And watch the green dragonblood pour.
--- Archie
That dragonblood by dragonfire's spurned.
And so the first blow
Unwarned from below
Had split Daffyd snout before it burned.
--- Archie
Spilt his fire and turned into steam.
Two small bands of flame
Confused Daffy's aim,
For Ffrank's scheme had worked like a dream.
--- Archie
Hurt Daffyd watched Ffrank's sword rise higher,
Now aimed at his eyes,
There were no replies.
It seemed that sir Ffrank was the slyer.
--- Archie
And ran to give Ffrank a hard clout.
She passed through the flame
That from Daffyd's mouth came,
Distracting Sir Ffrank with a shout.
--- Archie
Caused Morgans sweet girlhood to fade.
And there in her place
Was a gold dragon face,
An Ffrank, now in fear, dropped his blade.
--- Archie
And gave him to Vicki like a parcel.
She had him all stripped
And deservedly whipped
Then sent to the fields as a vassal.
--- Archie
Found his mate of whom he is proud.
Sweet Morgan and he
Soon married will be,
'Neath a sky where there isn't a cloud.
--- Archie
And armoured knights he just eschewed.
He'd go out a-raidin'
For tender young maidens,
But just couldn't stomach canned food.
--- Anon
For her "Maiden and Dragon" pose.
She did not rejoice
At the dragon's choice --
The damn dragon singed off all her clothes!
--- Anon
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