Right foot! lef foot! Hop light Loo,
Here am a fuss--dere am a muss! What am a nig to do?
Down de middle an' back again --
Keep de sugar out o' de rain,
Mind de aigs up de floor an'--hop light, Loo!
(from Virginibus Puerisque: A Second Rate Farce)
So you like to dance, don'tcha know, Hula's dance, and hips teasingly sway, A buxom young beauty named Beulah A young hula dancer named Blake, Hawaii girls are worth many a dollar; (Keku.- Dr. Edith K-- authority on the hula, Univ of Hawaii)
A great hula dancer named Nelly There was a young girl of Missoula My daughter she dances the jig There was a young lady named Jansen, A lady just asked him to dance The showgirls were taking a rest; John Francis Aloysius St Clair, There was a young tinker of Turkey, There was a young lady named Dawes, A dancer whose name is Elaine On a diet to cure him of gripes, An insatiable satyr named Bruce There was an exuberant 'coon', There was a young girl from Darjeeling, A lady who read Sigmund Freud A Russian of twenty-two years Here's a slogan which didn't entrance I'm sure this is truly romance, My body feels flushed, yes it's true, The tap-dance is Archie's affliction; Terpsichore's dance scored a hit There is music galore in my soul, A danseuse named Irma McPower Out on the dance floor, got an itch. An exotic young lady quite kooky, There was a young fellow named List (twist - type of dance 1960's)
There was a young person of France
This is file mvm
The noted philosopher, Drew, There once was a woman named Shirley, I always enjoy dancing the samba, There was an old woman in France The Russian ballet master, Boris, A young ballerina named Laverne, On the other hand, John's genius falls Said the dancer, "Oh, golly, I wish m'cough The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy When leaping, the audience shudders; But when bedward with her retiring, I hope I shall meet my demise A dancer of ballet called Joe, A retired ballerina named Gwen A young ballerina named Ann The manager of the ballet I wanted to dance in Coppelia Of Agib, who amid Tartaric scenes, The costume designer, John, quits; The ballerina tripped on to the stage; There once was a dancer named Harry, There was a young lady named Mary; Performing a ballet, young Chris The audience cheered as he spun They bowed at the finish politely, In a large ballet troupe, since the crew Although it's a form of disguise, When I choose to attend the ballet, A young ballerina named Page In the front row, a man used to passes, At the end of each magnificent production, At this VERY part the manager's chief function, There was a young cashier of Calais, Joe dated a young ballerina
--- Rudyard Kipling P8903
We'll put on one helluva show.
A two step is fine,
But lets not waste time.
I prefer the horizontal tango.
--- Anon
In their tropical sweet-smelling lei;
Of their island's glory,
The hands tell a story,
But if you watch their hands, then you're gay.
--- David Miller
Each night entertained with a hula:
'Twas rather risque
In a mild sort of way,
But she made quite a bundle of moola.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Was caught in LA in a quake.
She said, "I was frightened,
But my dance style, it heightened;
I learned sixteen new ways to shake."
--- Anon
For them the white boys all holler.
A sweet little honey
Was Liliukalani,
But I love Kekuhikuhipuuonneonaaliiokohala.
--- Ed Wolfert P8208
Could shimmy and shake just like jelly.
In part, 'twas because
She'd laugh like Santa Claus,
And both had the same kind of belly.
--- Warrick Elrod
Whose Lothario thought he could fool her,
As he moistened her lips,
Undulated her hips,
Just to teach her (he said) how to hula.
--- Keith MacMillan A074B
On her head is a red, curly wig.
Her dress is quite glittery.
Her leaps make me jittery.
Irish Dance is her world, and it's big.
--- Megan Summers
Whose Ma said, "I don't mind romancin'.
You're young. Have your fling.
But remember one thing:
When you stay out all night, keep on dancin'."
--- John Ciardi
As she gazed at the bulge in his pants.
Embarrassed he frets
Then cooled his jets,
When she helloed, said my name is Lance.
--- Anon
Their leader then made a request.
(With tongue in cheek)
"Line up cheek to cheek,
And then leave the stage two-abreast."
--- Al Willis P9708
Thought himself as another Astaire.
His name up in lights;
One of Soho's new sights;
With his long name, he heats up the air!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Whose rhythm at diddling was jerky.
At six-eight and four-four,
He was good, and no more,
But he really was great at mazurky.
--- L1551
Went out to a dance without gloves;
Her ma said: "Amelia!
Should anyone feel ya,
He'll take you for one of them whores!"
--- Anon
Loves to go out and dance in the rain.
When storm winds are gusty,
She gets wet and dusty,
So Elaine refrains from staining rain.
--- Anon
A priest ate the ripest of tripes,
Which altered him oddly.
He was no longer godly,
But a sprite who danced playing the pipes.
--- Espygrams P8410
Likes his women delightfully loose.
He finds them out dancing,
And twisting and prancing,
And puts them to very good use.
--- G0026
Who invented a horrible tune
For a horrible dance,
Which suggested the prance
Of a half-epileptic baboon.
--- Punch 1919 (Bibby)
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling,
Not a murmur was heard, (There was never a sound)
Not a sound, not a word, (For miles around)
But fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.
--- L0285
Thought her genitals underemployed.
So she put in a stand
For the seven-piece band,
And held dances that we all enjoyed.
--- Anon
Teaching ballet, reduces to tears
All those girls with no flair
For the Steppes by declar-
Ing "Urals oh pathetic, my dears."
--- Peter Wilkins
Many folks and most glanced it askance.
Conceived with a snicker
My old bumper sticker
Simply read, "Help stamp out Riverdance."
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0012
For whenever the tango we dance,
I feel full of emotion,
Despite the commotion
Occurring below in my pants.
--- Anon
When being held tightly by you.
Hot breath on my cheek,
At my cleavage you peek,
The Tango's a musical screw.
--- Anon
He said, "It's a type of addiction...
I found it quite thrilling
To learn dance by killing
The cockroaches in my mom's kitchen."
--- David Miller
With the media who reviewed it
As a wild expose,
Which was headlined this way:
"Topless Down in the Bottomless Pit!"
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0209
But at dancing I'm simply a troll.
I cannot foxtrot
Or do the gavotte,
And when others are rocking, I roll.
--- P8302
Sang Gregorian chants in the shower.
While applying the soap,
She would think of the Pope
In his birthday suit, holding a flower.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Couldn't scratch so I started to twitch.
The gal I escorted
Followed and contorted --
The trophy on the mantle now sits.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Once danced in a troupe of Kabuki.
When asked for a fuck,
She said, "Sorry, no luck:
I've got ants in my pants, but no nooky."
--- G2703
Who seized a young girl by the wrist.
She said, cease and desist,
But she could not resist,
And she learned of a new way to twist.
--- Albin Chaplin
Who had never attended a dance;
When he did so at last,
He said, "Dammit and Blast!"
Which was looked upon rather askance.
--- Anon
Two dancers observed in a stew.
His studied conclusion;
Although not quite a fusion,
A dance is a vertical screw.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1849
Whom everybody thought of as squirrelly.
She danced on her toes,
With a ring in her nose;
Had a liking for men who were burly.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Whilst coiling my hand 'round a mamba.
Gently I'll pull
Upon the stiff tool,
Before doing a little wham-bamba.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who really had ants in her pants,
But when she would wriggle,
Her friends would all giggle
And think it some new kind of dance.
--- Warrick Elrod
A hero of show business lore is.
His schedule was tight
But by opening night,
He screwed every girl in the chorus.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0212
Has a boyfriend who goes for the stern.
Her tutu he'll rustle
For the alimentary muscle;
A "grand jete" will give her a burn.
--- Bruce Thompson
In a sector that really enthralls.
He designs the men's tights
That even under lights,
Betray NO hint of pecker or balls.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0605
Didn't make everyone out here pish n'scoff,
But in the spotlight
My tights are so tight
That they jack the great pole of Baryshnikov.
--- Judson Jerome P8804
Performed by Big Bertha is scary;
The corps de ballet
Keeps some distance away,
For her boobs tend to catch the unwary.
--- Peter Wilkins
On landing, the theatre judders;
But shutting one's eyes
Is considered unwise,
On account of the bounce of her udders.
--- Peter Wilkins
She'll straddle and pump you untiring,
And the feel of those jugs
Surrounding you mug's
Pure heaven, until you're expiring.
--- Tiddy Ogg
'Twixt heavenly jugs of the size
Of Bertha's; if not,
I shall muff-dive her twat
And get blissfully crushed 'tween her thighs.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was so under-developed below,
That on matinee nights,
He would stuff down his tights
A courgette and two melons for show. (type of zuchini)
--- Peter Wilkins
Took up her vocation again,
But her technique had gone
And her famed 'Dying Swan'
Expired like a rather sick hen.
--- Ron Rubin
Danced like a soft feathery fan;
But when she leaped and rose,
She'd land, not on her toes,
But smack on her pink tutu-ed can!
--- Evelyn Bogen P9404
Has girls at his call night and day.
The chorus girls wail
"What a waste of fine tail!
The manager, Boris, is gay!"
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0605
In the corps de ballet de l'Australia;
I looked good in my tutu,
But they turned me down, due to
It's revealing my male paraphernalia.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8611
Wrote ballet music while in his teens;
His gentle spirit rolls
In a melody of souls,
Which is pretty, but I don't know what it means.
--- Archie
Can't design a girl's costume that fits.
He's new to the game,
But should know, just the same
Ballerinas don't ever have tits.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0605
On her face there were traces of rage.
She works many hours
For bunches of flowers,
But she can't get a raise in her wage.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
And the boys are just what made him merry.
He would dance, Christmas Day,
The Nutcracker Ballet,
In the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
On her feet she was light as a fairy.
She developed her flair
For toe dancing on air,
And at times it could be rather scary.
--- Warrick Elrod
Had to lift up a sweet little miss;
With his face and his nose
Up her tutu, his hose
Split his tights with a glorious HISSSSSSS!
--- Peter Wilkins
Her around on the tip of his tongue;
And the orchestra too
Stood to better their view,
While the critics said "Ballet good fun."
--- Peter Wilkins
While Chris held her buttocks real tightly,
And finished her off
With a doggy-style boff --
A performance repeated twice nightly.
--- Peter Wilkins
Has learned that a dancer named Drew
Is the father of twins,
Why is he all grins?
They've nicknamed the guy 'pas de deux'.
--- A N Wilkins P8508
My tutu does not match my eyes;
I wear it for ballet,
Especially for Sally,
Who can't keep her hands off my thighs.
I prefer one that's based on a play.
It tells a story in
Terms TERPSICHOREAN,
Sometimes sad, but more often gay.
--- Norm Brust
Once got in a terrible rage.
As she danced, still upset,
An irate pirouette,
She screwed herself into the stage.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Sat near to the coy ballet lasses.
They wore so few clothes,
That he pitied their woes,
And covered them all with his glasses.
--- Line Lost Lims P0509
To dramatize the heroine's abduction,
The ballerina is hit
And falls down in a split,
As the curtain falls to hide her seduction.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0605
Which he carries out without compunction,
Is to rush to her side,
As the pain she'll abide
And rock her back and forth, breaking suction.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0605
Whose accounts, when reviewed, wouldn't tally.
Soon his boss smelt a rat,
For he's furnished a flat,
And was seen every night at the ballet.
--- Explosion of Lims P0409
Who's muscles just couldn't be leana;
She did a ciseaux
On the balls of her beau,
He calls himself now Josephina.
--- Anon