MORE
A show-offy dentist named Irv "Open wide," said my dentist from Maine. A dentist, young Doctor Malone, (She nurses the filling at home.)
A lecherous dentist named Hare, A discomposed dentist named Booth A dentist who lives in Duluth, (She now only utters the tooth.)
Said the dentist, "Please open wider -- A man who discovered a cavity There was a young dentist named Millet, Jim's jaws were clenched in contraction, Said a dentist, "Ma'am, please open wider" There was a good madame of Banbury Cross, The dentist was clearly unwilling While proctologists toil through their day, A dentist who lives in Campania, While the dentist was drilling young Keith, I got a new crown for my tooth. She was cuddly and age eighty-eight. The dentist commenced with his filling, He looked at her X-rays and waited A man to his dentist complained A lonely old hag from Duluth, The dentist was drinking hard cider Said the dentist, "Now please open wider." Said a dentist, "Ma'am, please open wider! As he struggled, a dentist namd Snider While the dentist was drilling young Schick, A young dental student named Phil There once was a young D.D.S. There was this young man from Duluth, Ask not if he fancied the dollar, While filling her you used a drill? A dentist called Dr Bill Skilling, He worked on my teeth for three days, To the dentist, a fellow named Huff "Why in Heaven," inquired Mr. Downs, There was an old family named Keith "What is worse," said a lady named Claire, Thou, Sister Christina, tormentest A naive dental patient from Maine "Open wide," said a dentist called Bert There was an old lady named Billings A dentist named Doctor McGraw, A pretty young maid in Inniskilling A dental hygienist named Chaucer Said the dentist to harlot McKay, All my teeth are falling out; A dentist know as McBride How can brushers who floss such a lot, There was an old dentist named Eddie, To an African hunter named Tim, A dentist of skill named Pat Boyle, There was an old harlot named Skillings Tricking and treating's a prank A buddhist, with great lamentation, Make the most of your daughter and son; Said a dentist, "Ma'am, please open wider" "That needle will hurt, I surmise"; A woman with sparkling incisors, A dentist by name of McGavity To women a dentist named Gunn Said my dentist, Marissa McGee, Though the deal and McGee were alluring, I said, "Though admiring your skill, So I passed, which is all just as well; This story, I guess, has a moral: A dental assistant named Floss
Would flourish a drill with a verve;
On hearing a yell,
He always could tell
He'd carelessly skewered a nerve.
--- R J Winkler P8503
"I'll make sure you feel maximum pain,
While I fill up your grinders
With sawdust and binders,
And drill you again and again."
--- Mike O'Conner
Got a charming girl patient alone.
And in his depravity,
He filled the wrong cavity.
My! How his practice has grown!
--- L0102
Enamored of young pussy fair,
For needs real erotic
Employed a narcotic,
And had the gals right in his chair.
--- Armand Singer
Had guzzled a jug of vermouth.
In his chair sat a maiden
With perfume heavy laden,
So he screwed her while pulling her tooth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0653
Has wedded a widow named Ruth.
She is so sentimental
Concerning things dental
She calls her dear second, her twoth.
--- Anon
'Cause here comes the skin-covered glider.
The pink steel drill,
The unpicked dill;
A gift from your service provider."
--- Oddo Von Schlong TP9901
Considered the matter with gravity.
A Seventh Day Adventist
Couldn't go to the dentist
On Saturday, for fear of depravity.
--- Sylvia Honig
Who hung the sign "Come in, I'll Drill It."
No one, though, attended,
Until he amended,
"I'll Painlessly Drill It, Then Fill It."
--- Bob Birch P0301
But opened them only a fraction
When the dentist said, "Wider!
So's to put this inside yer,
And yank out the confounded impaction."
--- Edwin J Weinstein
And he mounted the chair, as to ride her!
Instead of his finger,
He stuck in his weiner,
And found himself way deep inside her.
--- Anon
Who purchased the finest of fine dental floss,
Twice twelve dozen yards,
Chaste belts for her wards --
(Punch line deleted - it came out - just two gross!)
--- Stan Payne P8509
To enlarge on the case of Miss Billing.
"She'd a very large cavity,"
He deposed with due gravity,
`And it very much needed my filling."
--- Lance Payne P8503a
With naught but bung holes on display,
The poor dentists pity,
'Cause it ain't too pretty
In cavitys fill with decay.
--- Chris Papa
Said, "Don't be alarmed, I won't pain ya'."
But his technique was crude,
And the yells which ensued,
Shattered windows all over Tasmania.
--- John Blyth
His assistant reached down underneath,
And she sucked on his cock.
He went off in a shock,
But felt nothing at all in his teeth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0839
'Tis the fourth one I've had there, in truth.
It goes a long while
Toward making me smile,
For it hasn't a hole and ain't looth!
--- Liam na Baeg
She said about marriage, "Let's wait.
My hair must be dyed,
(I do have my pride)
And they're building my new upper plate."
--- Al Willis P9604
And his patient said, "My, this is thrilling!"
Though, devoid of their pants,
In a bent-over stance,
It was not in her teeth he was drilling.
--- Cap'n Bean P0502
To tell her the teeth were ill-mated.
"I'm greatly afraid
That you had them X-rayed
When you ought to have had them X-rated.
--- Laurence Perrine P8802
That his dentures fit poorly and pained.
But the dentist said smugly,
"Though your pains may be ugly,
Nothing dentured, my boy, nothing gained."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9005
Whose vices were rather uncouth,
Would not be so lonely,
If her dentist would only
Consent to remove her last tooth.
--- Anon
And could not find a passage inside her.
Through his alcohol haze,
He remembered the phrase,
And asked her to please open wider.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun
She did, and his tongue slid inside her.
No pain from a drill,
She just got her fill.
Said the dentist, "You tasted like cider."
--- Lisa
Nurse, I can't get my penis inside her.
Her pussy's too tight!
Stretch it open a might,
Then I'll be able to ride her!"
--- Anon
Cried, trying to plunge it inside her,
"I don't as a rule
Have this time with my tool,
Please open a little bit wider!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 798 P8305
His assistant, so comely and slick,
Was sucking his cock.
His tooth felt no shock
But he blew with a pain in his prick.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0877
In the summertime keeps up his skill
With a job on the street.
He tears up concrete
By using a pnuematic drill.
--- A N Wilkins P8503a
Who made me somewhat of a mess:
He pulled out my teeth,
Both above and beneath,
Thus making it hard to say YES.
--- Alsops Foibles
Was the victim of a monstrous goof.
He was driven insane
And had double the pain,
When the dentist had pulled the wrong tooth.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
Or sported a tie and a collar;
The person worth while
Is the one who can smile
While the dentist is pulling his molar.
--- VOL 11
A better tool could fullfill
The receptionist dream
To me it seem
A drill is just plain overkill
--- Anon
A pretty young maiden was drilling;
And in his depravity
Filled the wrong cavity,
So Bill cut her bill by a shilling.
This is file mtl
And I didn't have any decays.
But my dentist, the creep,
Said, "Fillings are cheap,"
But OY!, root canals and inlays!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Showed his teeth, which were worn and so rough.
"From the wear and the tear,"
Said the dentist, "I swear
That the cunts which you eat are too tough."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0828
"Should dentists have such heavy rounds?"
"Who else do you suppose,"
Replied Dr. Rose,
"Would fit saints for their new golden crowns?"
--- A N Wilkins P8503A
Who lived in a hut on the heath.
Being abjectly poor,
It was hard to endure,
And they all used the same set of teeth.
--- Albin Chaplin
"A new baby, or tooth to repair?"
Said the dentist refined,
"Would you make up your mind,
For I wish to position the chair."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1990A
My thoughts, and I pray thou consentest
To a romp in the hay
With this suitor today,
If first thou shalt visit a dentist.
--- Anon
Told her dentist how sex erased pain.
At the touch of a cock
She went right into shock --
There was no need to use Novacaine.
--- Anon
To a man-eating shark whose teeth hurt.
"When I've finished the drilling,
I'll give you a filling."
He did and the filling was Bert.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Who went to the dentist for fillings.
But he lost all control
And he filled the wrong hole,
So she charged him four pence and two shillings.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0650
Got hard working on a girl's jaw.
He said, "Open Wide!"
Then shoved it inside,
And all she could do was say "Ahh!"
Went to the dentist for filling.
He asked for no fee
And did it for free
When the young maid said she was willing.
--- Bob Hunt
Would moan when her boss tried to boss her.
Just one trip to her chair
And you'd readily swear
You'd sighted a real sighing flosser.
--- Arthur Deex P0011
As he poked in her cunt with dismay,
"Your life of depravity
Has fucked up your cavity.
What you need is a gold crown inlay."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0536
I think that my gums have the gout.
I can grin no more
'Cause my mouth is sore.
The best that I can do is pout.
--- Anon
Found a whore he wanted to ride.
He spewed out his Crest
All over her breasts,
And smeared gums with stannous flouride!
--- John Chastaine
Skipping sweets, still acquire dental rot?
Might they squeeze from the waist?
Read your tube of toothpaste:
"For best results, squeeze from the bot...!"
--- Prof M-G TP9806
Whose tool was perpetually ready.
A young lass in his chair,
Was caught unaware,
When she saw that his drill was so steady.
--- Mr Wine
Said the dentist with visage so grim,
"In your teeth there is plaque
From the balls of a yak,
And the hair of an antelope's quim."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-3015
Made his fortune one day in Baldoyle.
While drilling a tooth,
(And this is the truth)
A gusher upsurged; he'd struck oil!
--- 500 Irish Jokes & Lims
Who went to the dentist for fillings.
In a fit of depravity,
He filled the wrong cavity,
So each cancelled the other one's billings.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2305
But someone really should thank
The Gods for the candy;
To dentists it's dandy;
They laugh all the way to the bank!
--- Anon
Saw the dentist with much animation.
Despite the man's pain
He refused novocaine,
To transcend dental medication.
--- Anon
With good dental work, you'll have won.
Get them fillings of gold --
So that they can be sold
At a much higher price than with none!
--- Mark Levy P9508
For he couldn't quite fit it inside her.
But try as he might,
It was just too damn tight,
But he was determined to ride her!
--- Anon
"Of course not," my dentist replies,
As he plunges it in
With a real fiendish grin,
And a devilish look in his eyes.
--- Peter Wilkins
Thought brushing would make her much wiser.
So she brushed night and day,
Till she wore them away,
Which astonished her dental advisors.
--- Ryan Waldron
Was subject to fits of depravity.
On his chair sat a maid
And her teeth she displayed,
But he probed and he filled the wrong cavity.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0263
Did something he shouldn't have done;
The soul of depravity,
He'd fill the wrong cavity,
Admitting he found it more fun.
--- Armand E Singer 702
"John, for a small extra fee,
I can give you some action
Beyond an extraction,
Which ought to be fun; you will see."
--- John Miller
I asked, my suspicion enduring,
"Will we tend to this chore
Post-pull or before?"
She answered, "I had in mind DURING!"
--- John Miller
If you come, while you're waving that drill,
I'm afraid I might find
That you're deep in my mind,
Which for me is TOO much of a thrill!"
--- John Miller
Her assistandt was horny as Hell.
While cleaning my teeth,
She rolled underneath...
Now her belly is starting to swell
--- John Miller
While tending to health that is oral,
Neglect not your teeth
Nor wearing a sheath;
Should your dentist not tell you, some whore'll.
--- John Miller
Liked to fool 'round with her boss.
For a really good time
In his chair they'd recline,
While the patients grew cobwebs and moss.
--- Anon
MORE