There once was a dirty old beast
Who, when asked to confess by the priest,
Said, "Bugger religion!
Let's look at your pigeon."
And gave him two inches, at least.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Hickory Dickery do,
I wish I could go to the zoo.
To sit on the train
While I look at the crane
As it tries to woo a gnu.
--- J Davie and C Hilditch

There was a young lady of Ulva,
Whose music hall turn with a culver,
Evoked great applause
As she tore off her drawers
And induced it to swoop up her vulva.

(culver - dove, rock pigeon)
--- Russel Lucas

You hen fuckers, this you will love:
For small peckers wanting a shove,
I've just hired the best;
She's straight from the nest.
Our sale now includes a plump dove.
--- Travis Brasell

There was a young person of Kent,
Who was famous wherever he went.
All the way through a fuck,
He would quack like a duck,
And he crowed like a cock when he spent.
--- L1646

At the bird zoo, a man from Korea
Said he thought it a brilliant idea
To have all the birds dyed,
But all kidding aside --
How the devil does one dye a rhea?
--- Albin Chaplin 3024 P9102a

Great woe befell Bernadine Gotch,
While camped by Franconia Notch.
She was raped by a eagle,
Or maybe a seagull,
Which then built a nest in her crotch.
--- G1245

A lusty farm lad, for a joke,
Gave the hens in the barnyard a poke.
But the vice was betrayed
When the eggs that they laid
Were nothing but whites with no yolk.
--- G1259

I'd rather have feathered than furred.
Although some folk say it's absurd,
Try stickin' your dick in
A duck or a chicken,
And no damn cat scratches incurred.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A rooster on heat's always clucking,
And for Pete, it's ripe for the plucking;
For his dick's unique,
It'll fit a bird's beak!
While getting a fowl cock-sucking.
--- Anon

A man in fair St. Domingo,
Being blase and worn, said, "By Jingo,
Blast all women and boys,
I'll try some new joys."
So he went out and fucked a flamingo.

(Published 1880)
--- Published 1879 L0636

A tale of two flaming flamingos,
Who, since gay, couldn't breed like wild dingoes.
They, five years together
Built nests on the heather.
'Twas better than living life single.
--- James

But they wanted so bad to conceive
A chick, to whom they would leave
Their values and morals,
Collection of corals,
And condo, of fine birchtwig weave.
--- James

They asked for an egg, every year,
But the other birds said, "What we fear --
Chick'll turn out a gay blade,
Be unable to wade
In the pond, without looking...'sincere'"
--- James

So they went to a nest down the street
And made, of their neighbors, jerked meat,
To expedite matters,
To hear some small patters
Of tiny flamingo webbed feet.
--- James

The chick that the two commandeered
In a certain gay manner was reared.
It developed a passion
For style and for fashion;
Soft colors, pastels, it revered.
--- James

Years passed, and the new generation
Continues with nests and migrations.
But, as they poise on the brink,
Red plumage's now pink;
The effect of one chick's veneration,
--- James

In the throes of an avian lust,
I joined up with a birdwatchers trust.
I like the loud squawk
Of owl, crow or hawk,
As they flock to my cock for a thrust.
--- Anon

While fucking an ostrich, young Buck
Said, "They're ten times more fun than a duck.
As you'll notice, Miss Moultrie,
I'm queer for all poultry,
So glue on some feathers--we'll fuck!"
--- G1208

When you are old and need specs,
Then the thought will no longer perplex.
When you're wanting a bunk,
But your thingy has shrunk,
You'll find birdies are tightest for sex.
--- PeterW

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared! --
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Are having an orgy, that's weird!"
--- Julian I Edison P8808

A princess of spirit most gallant
Was known to be daring and valiant.
Fed up with dog cocks,
She essayed to screw hawks,
And soon she'd developed a talont.
--- Actaeon

There once was a pretty young eagle,
Whose manner was haughty and regal,
Till lustfully soaring
Behind her, and scoring
Was Jonathan Livingstone Seagull.
--- Ed Potts P8710

A New Zealand playboy named Greaves
Has his girls each way round, but believes
In abandoning dames
After one night of games,
For a Kiwi just eats, roots and leaves.
--- CeeJay

With his spyglass went bird watcher Bashur;
He discovered a new bird; 'twas a smasher!
And he first documented
The behavior demented,
Of this redhead, two breast mattress thrasher!
--- Albin Chaplin

Just how many times must I tell you?
I've never laid hands on your cockatoo!
I rarely do pets,
Not even on bets,
And I've never had sex with your emu!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A nubile bird lover named Frieda
Decided to emulate Leda;
Her Doc said, "Don't blush,
That's no swan, it's a thrush;
And it's not caused by Zeus, but Candida."
--- Greg Howell P9308

A nice young ostrich named Gary
Pined for the zoo's cassowary.
The Director said,
"All right, share your bed,
But with your genes, you can't marry."
--- Dr Wryme TP980

The ostrich is smart; you can teach them.
So the elephant handlers beseech them.
When the bulls are away,
The cows moan all day,
And those birds are all that can reach them.
--- Actaeon

There was a young owlet called Tawny,
Who thought to himself, "I will forni-
cate." Girl called Sue
Said, "It's too wet to woo."
And she left him frustrated and horny.
--- Anon

A gruff anthropoid of Piltdown,
Had a strange way of going to town.
With maniacal howls,
He would bugger young owls,
And polish his balls on their down.
--- L0631

There once was a girl named Monique
Whose sex life was rather unique,
For her large well-trained parrot
(For a radish or carrot)
Would diddle Monique with its beak.
--- G1288

A bird-loving fellow named Garrett,
Enjoyed making love to his parrot,
Till one day the squawker
Bit off his big dawker,
Thinking the thing was a carrot!
--- Writerman

This is file mnk

There was an old maid in Peru,
Who had sex with a yak and a gnu.
Then some sailors came by
With a glint in their eye,
And they gave her a nice cockatoo.
--- Professor

An amorous parrot named Stu
Loves humping his peers in the zoo;
Since birds of a feather
Fuck best all together,
He's joined a sex club in St Lou.
--- Armand Singer P0402

Henry was born at the zoo.
He is a bright white cockatoo.
He eats seeds and grubs,
And peanuts and bugs,
And he's bored 'cause there's nothing to do.
--- William K Alsop Jr

Some people are fond of debating
From politics to masturbating.
They'll argue the merits
Of buttfucking parrots,
And other things they're contemplating.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

The Rector then summons a response:
Mr DeLeon, first name Ponce.
His lastest discovery:
A Gallic nunnery --
Just horny pengiuns from France.
--- Anon

There once was a penguin we knew,
He liked nothing better than to screw.
Give him a sheep,
He's put it in deep,
And then try to give it to you.
--- Anon

Chinstrap penguins at Manhattan Zoo,
Are devoted, and have sex too;
But they are both male
And breeding will fail;
Who'd presuppose penguins pack poo?
--- David Miller

All penguins are found, so I hear,
In the down-under, South hemisphere.
A long way to go
For a screw or a blow...
They'll settle, I guess, for a queer.
--- John Miller

In Bremerhaven Zoo, they say,
All six Humboldt penguins are gay;
Introduced to these males
Six Swede femme-fatales,
Now put on a Lesbian display.
--- David Miller

All penguins are found, so I hear,
In the down-under, south hemisphere.
A long way to go
For a screw or a blow;
I'll settle, I guess, for a beer.
--- John Miller

Passionate penguins at night
Are quite an unusual sight;
The reason is not
That lust isn't hot,
But rather the fear of frostbite.
--- Nick D Kim

I don't have a pecker, but maybe I should -
I told the red hen that I would if I could.
She envies the cows
The nannies, and sows,
Since she heard that some bird has one made out of wood!
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

King Jonathan Edward the third
Was caught pederasting a bird.
He'd rammed the thing through
With his long, slender screw,
And pushed out a seven-inch turd.
--- Tony Davie Collection

There was a young man who preferred,
Having sex with some kind of bird.
The rarer the species,
And the fuller of feces,
The better -- that guy really loved turd.
--- L1670

The native guide, Sacajawea
Was seduced one hot night by a rhea.
Before they made love,
He spoke from above:
"I use condoms, you've nothing to fea."
--- Actaeon

Duckies and swannies and chickies!?
You guys must be some kind of sickies!
I think it's absurd
To have sex with a bird.
(Though road runners serve for some quickies.)
--- Irish

There was a young fellow named Spiegel,
Who had an affair with a seagull.
What's worse, do you see,
It wasn't a she,
But a he-gull, and that is illegal.
--- John Ciardi

There once was a man called Tim Teagle
Who tried fucking a bald-headed eagle.
It was lust all gone wrong,
The bird clawed his dong;
He had much better luck with the seagull.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There was a young man named O'Rourke,
Heard babies were brought by the stork.
So he went to the zoo
And attempted to screw
One old bird. End result: didn't work.
--- L0628

A young ornithologist's curse
Was a lust quite depraved and perverse.
His desires, so they say,
To indulge in "fowl play"
More than once took a tern for the worse.
--- Vassar W Smith P9304 a

There was an old bird watcher, Perce,
Who indulged in behavior perverse.
Since young birds he would fuck,
Sometimes goose, sometimes duck,
But he once took a tern for the worse.
--- Albin Chaplin

The Thing from the Peruvian zoo
Was hard up for something to do.
So he took out a parrot
And fed it his carrot.
The result is the King of Peru.
--- Neal Wilgus P8507

Though a goose makes a much better fit
'Twixt women and birds, I'll admit
When legs open wide,
It's hard to decide;
But I do like a pert little tit.
--- John Miller

A marvelous bird is the toucan,
Who when engaged in a screw can
Stand on his head,
Shove beak in instead.
If you think that's a cinch, see if you can.
--- G1339

A filthy old man of Helena
Regressed from obscene to obscener.
What he did, I won't say,
But included fowl play
With a turkey, two tits, and a weiner.
--- Hugh Oliver A074A

The birdwatcher looks in dispair
As birds 'round him fuck everywhere.
Though he strains through his glasses,
For a view of their asses,
He cannot see what goes in where.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-1129

I'll tell of a fellow named Zeke,
Who, lost in the woods for a week,
Put his dong in a hole
Of a massive oak's bole...
Found a woodpecker's beak, so to speak.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Big Betty lies flat on her back,
So Woody can hammer her crack,
With hard, steady pounding,
To give it a rounding,
Before other 'peckers come back.
--- Travis

Woodpeckers are strange birds, indeed;
With their peckers, they don't eat birdseed.
Instead their hard peckers
Are tree and house wreckers;
Be interesting to see how they breed.
--- Floyd Moody

A love-sick young barn owl in Kew
Had a pretty young she-owl in view.
He twittered, "I oughter
Endeavor to court 'er,
But I don't have enough wit to woo.
--- Anon

That cow is easy to beat.
I once new a farmer named Pete;
He had a big duck,
He'd repeatedly fuck,
Until it would piss on his feet.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Once a farmhand outside Alexander
Attempted to goose a big gander.
But the ganders got even--
Shat all over Stephen!
Moral: Don't rile a big gander's dander.
--- Grand Prix Lim 489 G1181

Oh Canada Goose you're a dream,
But one that might just make me scream.
You tease and you taunt
And all the while flaunt
Those parts that you know make me steam.
--- Anon

That running and hiding and giggling,
And setting all nice bits a-jiggling,
Shows you want the tickle.
You know that my dick'll
Give you in the part that you're wiggling.
--- Anon