I strolled to the lake to meander
For solace when, Lo! An old gander,
Distictly Canadian,
Was goosing his lady an'
My solace was never more grander.
--- Travis Brasell

I've never heard wickeder slander!
At levels to which I won't pander!
Never mind the goosin',
We'll go lakefront sluicin'
Right after Trav's grander meander.
--- Ericka

My solace erupts when the gooseway
Of goosin' inspires my grand juiceway
To flood forth in gushes,
And Ericka rushes
To channel the flow in her sluiceway.
--- Travis Brasell

Why look, it's a duck and a drake
On opposite sides of the lake.
She's looking demurely
At him but he's purely
(If pure is the word) on the make.
--- Peter Wilkins

Alas, the poor duck cannot swim.
It's not that he doesn't have vim;
He stepped in cement
The last time he went
Ashore, now his chances are dim.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The pervert went out to the lake;
He followed the water bird's wake.
He captured a duck
He thought he could fuck,
But dammit, the duck was a drake
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0501

A cocky young sport from old Nice
Had a habit of screwing young geese.
But once he got stuck
When the bird ran amok;
It dropped him off high over Greece.
--- Ogni Gioia

There once was a man from Kentucky
Who plucked ducks, and when he plucked a duck, he
Would fuck the plucked duck
Like a duck fucking schmuck.
He got caught fucking duck; how unlucky!
--- Anon

This morning I walked down the street;
Can you guess who I happened to meet?
Yes, a duck! But not any
Old duck out of many,
But duck who is cuddly and sweet.
--- Anon

For years I've been trying my luck
And at last I've attracted a duck!
Now there's no turning back
So I'd better say, "Quack!
Will you sit on my lap for a fuck?"
--- Anon

I've looked through a manual or two
For positions but haven't a clue
How to consummate passion
In duckie-type fashion
So hopefully this one will do.
--- Anon

To philander with poultry's a thrill.
The sight of a DA stirs me still!
But I've never paid
A cent to get laid,
Till that damn duck slipped me a bill.

(DA - ducks ass, type of haircut popular in '50s)
--- Irish

Huck is moonstruck with the duck,
'Cause muck is what ducks like to suck.
He unsips his pip
For a sip from the tip,
And with luck, a duck pecks on his puck!
--- H Welchel a

A gloomy old fellow is Routh;
Who lives on a farm in the south.
For pleasure he sucks
The pussies of ducks,
That's why he feels down in the mouth.
--- Anon

That's the worst one that I've ever heard!
To think, having sex with a bird!
But maybe it's right
To let it take flight,
And have a sense of the absurd!
--- Anon

If stickin' your dick in a chicken
Causes heartbeat to flutter or quicken,
I'll bet you a buck
A fuck with a duck,
Would straightway with stroke, leave you stricken.
--- John Miller

Which reminds me, I once knew a chap
Who would hold his pet goose in his lap.
He'd aver, "No mere chick
Gives a ride to my dick
Like Gertrude -- she's no wings to flap!
--- John Miller

I canardly wait for a duck
To fly overhead, and with luck,
Should it be an Eider,
When I get insider her,
My juice will be running amok.
--- SFA

Even better than goat, sheep, or moose,
Is a good-sized excitable goose.
Hold her legs, let her flap,
If that goose doesn't crap,
You'll get off before she gets loose!
--- John Miller

There was a young flirt of Ceylon,
Who loved to lead the boys on.
Instead of follow the leader,
She played follow the 'Leda',
And finally succumbed to a swan.
--- Anon

"I don't often do it with moose,"
Said the pervert, "I find it too loose;
And you AJL guys
I fear monopolise
Poor old Bessie; now give me that goose!
--- Tutta Gioia

My knowledge of sex does not suck,
And I've reasearched the best things to fuck.
Sheep are too easy,
And chickens are greasy.
The best fuck of all is a duck!
--- Anon

There was a young man from Toulouse,
Who thought he would diddle a goose.
He hunted and bunted
To get the thing cunted,
But decided it wasn't no use.
--- L0641

Good job! I'm an ace with the noose,
For I've rescued this poor little goose;
It was flying around
With its nose to the ground,
Heading straight up the cunt of that moose.
--- Peter Wilkins

Come in, said the goose to the gander
To all your fowl needs, I will pander.
Let's share the same sauce
Then floss up with moss,
And slander and philander in grandeur
--- Anon

The gander started cursin' and nursin'
The eggnog the goose was dispersin'.
He got so damn drunk,
He chased an old skunk
From person to person to person.
--- Anon

"I've had enough of this abuse,
You dumb drunken shit!", said the goose.
"You smell like a skunk,
Get away from me, punk,
Or I'll hang your neck in this noose!"
--- Anon

Well howdy dear, cock-doodle-doo
I'm here and I'm ready for you
I like juicy guinea
So come on and gimme
Some pink meat to chew and to screw
--- Anon

There was an old man of Santander,
Who said, "You be goose: I be gander."
The shaft of his tool
Was soon covered with stool--
Shitty time he had trying to land her!
--- G1312

There was an old man of Santander,
Who attempted to bugger a gander.
But that virtious bird,
Plugged its ass with a turd,
And refused to such low tastes to pander.
--- Norman Douglas L0640

But the very next day,
So the chronicles say,
The ingenious man from Uganda
With a patent corkscrew
The obstruction withdrew,

And successfully buggered the gander.
--- Anon

Young Emmeline never refuses
To mingle our sexual juices,
In loveplay frenetic,
And sex energetic...
Oh, what a fine treasure that goose is.
--- Anon

Leda, thinking no Swan could make love,
Laid two white eggs: warmed by the stove,
One hatched Helen of Troy.
Whilst her double-yolked joy
Produced Castor and Pollux--by Jove.
--- G1272

This is file mmk

As the geese flew around in a gaggle
The ganders were having a haggle
And fight as to who
Would be first in the queue
For a screw with the one with the waggle.
--- Anon

Said Leda, in love with a goose,
To George, who declared her too loose,
"I think it much grander
To screw with this gander,
Than taking you up my caboose."
--- Anon

Vanessa once fancied a fill
With ducks and getting a thrill.
Don't know what she did,
But she hadn't no kid,
But surely was left with the bill.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A sad little lesbian duck
One Saturday ran out of luck.
She met an old drake,
A notorious rake,
Who gave her a bloody good fuck.
--- Peter Wilkins

How her eyes did glimmer and glitter
As he rammed home that which did fit her.
The astonished quack
Was heard around back
And the rest came to watch while he did her.
--- Azul

A sister I had, and a niece
And lambs good for more than their fleece.
And a buxom young cousin
And hens by the dozen...
Of all, I would still prefer geese.
--- John Miller

Bessie was jealous, you know.
When I had them, she'd pace to and fro,
Tail swishing and slapping --
She hated the flapping...
When seizures my cousin would throw.
--- John Miller

While swamping I once tried my luck
At screwing a young mallard duck.
But I couldn't tell
If I got it off well
Or just shot my load in the muck.
--- David Miller

In Aylesbury, they have this strange duck;
If you meet it, you're way out of luck.
It's about six feet tall;
Has no teeth at all;
But it gives you a terrible suck.
--- Bill Wall

There once was a man from Mannuck,
Whose penis resembled a duck.
Not happy was he
Till fortunately,
He met a girl-duck he could fuck.
--- Tjarda

Young Christopher's made a mistake
(Guess it's one that's quite easy to make)
For his regular fuck,
Young Jemima the duck,
Is in fact Jeremiah the drake.
--- Anon

Jemima is out on the make;
She's swimming around in the lake
And trying her luck
With a lesbian duck,
She's mistaken for Jacob the drake.
--- Peter Wilkins

Jemima will play around till
She's had, like all chicks, quite a thrill.
And then she'll get mad
And think she's been had
When she gets from Jacob, his bill.
--- Travis Brasell

An engaged young farmer named Buck,
By his girl, was surprised with a duck.
He said, "You may cry or howl,
But I'm queer for all fowl.
You must glue on feathers to fuck."
--- Anon

Hawaii's State Bird is the nene,
Whose organ is wonderfully teeny,
Except when he spies
Some babe in the skies--
And then it looks more like a weenie.

(nene pronounced wrong here - nay-nay not knee-knee)
--- Norm Storer P9203

He told the hall porter at John's,
"It was out of regard for the dons
That I rogered your daughter,
And a good lay I thought her,
But I'm now going to bugger those swans."
--- A N Wilkins P8507

Said a rather promiscuous duck,
With the drakes I just don't get no luck!
They approach me all slick
But then paddle off quick.
They can't seem to muster the pluck.

(no davian behavior - McW)
--- Tillmanator

There was a young lad of St. John's,
Who wanted to bugger the swans,
But the loyal hall porter,
Said, "No! Take my daughter!
The swans are reserved for the dons."
--- Norman Douglas L0637

On Sunday that randy old drake,
He was once again on the make.
He jumped on a goose
He thought of as loose.
She smelled, not of bird, but of hake!
--- Anon

Thus spake an old Chinese mandarin,
"There's a subject I'd like to use candor in:
The geese of Pekin
Are so steeped in sin,
They'd as soon let a man as a gander in."
--- L0619

You've heard of the Duchess of York,
She's twice been blessed by the stork.
The Duke will fuck
Naught else but a duck,
While the Duchess, she frequents the park.
--- L0664

Of all the lousy dumb luck,
I got the wrong kind of cluck.
Chased by a rooster,
Who gave me a gooster;
I'd really much rather have duck!
--- Anon

This duck, it did try to shout "rape",
But was lying there, flippers agape.
Now this is my version,
I'm pleading coercion,
And I only used one roll of tape!
--- Anon

In Sparta a nubile young Greek
Grabbed a very large swan by the beak.
She said, "While it's true
This ain't much of a screw;
It's the best thing that I've had all week!"
--- Frank Ward P9309

As a lad, I had Ray as a friend,
But our friendship soon came to an end.
Diddling ducks in the lake,
I caught him with a drake!
Such perversions I could not defend.
--- John Miller 0312

I never passed time with a drake;
The quacking gives one an earache.
But I did have a cob
Try to swallow my knob,
But only once, on a lunch break.
--- S C Saint

Now nibble my duck, it's real chewy,
While Huey and Dewey and Louie,
My nephews, all pack
Their dicks in your crack,
And soon you will end up all gooey.
--- Anon

A passion-swept Seminole buck
Wouldn't pay a red cent for a fuck.
Shunned by Indian girls
He resorted to squirrels,
And in one extreme case, to a duck.
--- G0796

But enough of the guys, there's the duck
Who was huge and the very best fuck.
He'd waddle and quack
His way to my crack,
But one day he finally got stuck.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Canada goose over here
Is waddling 'round, wiggling her rear.
But much as I try,
That thing's orifi
Are far, far to tiny, I fear.
--- Peter Wilkins

There was a young lady called Chuck
(And we're all wishing Barry good luck);
'Twas an old merchant-banker
Who finally sank her,
With a highly-trained Muscovy duck.
--- Kevin Hale Q

Aunt Rhody! He's dead, is your goose.
It wasn't a fox on the loose,
But old farmer Dan,
The dirty old man,
Who rogered her up the caboose.
--- Tiddy Ogg

But that, Rhody, is not why she's dead.
He then forced the bird to give head.
She choked on his choat,
Wedged deep in her throat.
He'll now have to fuck ducks instead.
--- Tiddy Ogg