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Let us pity the capon. A roo- Now this old man was a sick 'un; A queer down in old Albuquerque I wish that a sister I'd had So why did the chick cross the road? So why did the chick cross the road? An odd chicken farmer named Pickens For a bestial farmer named John, My didgeridoo does not lust With a complex, a robber named Greg While fucking a chicken, young Greg, I always have sex with a bird, "Was I born?" asked the chick. The hen (pickin') On occasion, us farmboys would spit May your neck get horrible cricks, Little rooster, don't be so upset Just for you every morning we pine, I have to quit picking this cob; Ooh Rooster! Such palpitations I really like banging your hips, A rooster loves to strut and to preen. I'm proud that my cock can still crow, "Hey chicken, why cross over the road, A collection of whales is a school; My chicken don't want it's breast licked! In the quaint English villiage of Worcester, Remembering when I was a lad, There once was a boy named Clay, I once grabbed a Rhode Island Red The hen coop's providing slim pickin's; A bibliophile, name of Ben, There was a randy young buck in Hickory Dickery Dock, The difference 'tween Kinky and Exotic When fucking a chick you should make a I'm quite a bit older, and frail, There once was a female named Jenn This thread has gone bad and I sicken; The thing that you are now proposin'; The hen snatched the comb of the cock I know just what I want for my present, You should know that a rooster can't pee, Young Hetty, that feisty old Hen, There was a young man from Point Pleasant There was a young boy of ten The sexual life of the rooster That Rhode Island Red is a clucker. Said a sad old Rhode Island Red rooster, While dining on Thanksgiving turkey, I know what I want for my present! A rooster residing in Spain, There once was a cocky young rooster But this juicy plump guinea hen, There once was a timid young rooster There was an old woman of Wooster There once was a horny young hen, Two roosters in one of our pens, When I was a youngster, my pal But now that my Papa is dead, He's constructed with matches and pegs, Look who's struttin' his stuff around, A farmer in old Albuquerque A cook from the town Albuquerque For groceries Fortnum and Mason If when through the farmyard you're picken' And thus thought a randy young buck in The insults and mockery stung,
ster who's lost the equipment to screw.
And his sad little cry
When a hen wanders by?
'Tis pathetic. Just "A-doodle-doo"!
--- Anon
He'd a dozen hens ripe for the picken'.
He'd chase them around
With his trousers pulled down,
Saying 'Whatsa matter, you chicken?"
--- Scott Hendricks
Whose notion of poking is murky,
Met considerable harm
His first day on the farm
When he tried the back way on a turkey.
--- Grand Prix Lim 657
When I were a pubescent lad;
Unfortunately
It were chickens for me,
Which were better than nowt, I should add.
--- Peter Wilkins
Much mystery in that episode.
It now seems quite clear
She went over there
To help a young rooster unload.
--- Frank
Much mystery in that episode.
It now seems quite clear,
She went over there
To help a young rooster unload.
--- Anon
Keeps his weapon at ready to stick hens,
And when he has rape on
His mind with a capon,
It lengthens and strengthens and thickens.
--- Bob Giandomenico P8910
"Laying" chickens is quite a turn-on.
But when they menstruate,
He can't hold them straight:
They slip off, just to egg the man on.
--- Actaeon
For beasties who live in the dust.
It lost this desire
When, hot and on fire,
It poked a small chicken, what bust!
--- Anon
Made love to a chicken named Meg.
Neither ever confessed
But millions have guessed;
Which came first, the chicken or yegg.
--- Tom Patton
Said, "The best thing's, I don't have to beg.
She's open and clear
All the time in the read,
Except when she's laying an egg.
--- G1247
Whose pussy's abundantly furred.
Although if she sickens,
I'll fuck with the chickens;
It's twice now that that has occurred.
--- Anon
"First laid and then hatched, barely kickin'."
"Do people get laid?"
"Not all, I'm afraid;
Most do but a few are too chicken!"
--- John Miller 0313a
On the vent -- where a hen passes shit.
Then this organ would spasm
Like cervical orgasm.
Has a paper been published on it?
--- John Miller 0313c
Your ass be invaded by dicks.
You farmboy pervert,
Go get a real skirt,
And don't you dare spit on my chicks.
--- Rooster
With the lout who on us did spat.
He is so dim,
No spasms for him;
Much better the tool that you set.
--- Chicken
Clucking and waiting in line,
Till you can attend
To our little rear end,
With your tool that is just divine.
--- Chicken
It's time to get back to my job.
Come here, little chicken,
I see your tail flickin'.
You're first in line for my knob.
--- Rooster
I get from those rearward sensations.
Whenever you stick
Up my rear with your dick,
I flutter my wings with elations.
--- Chicken
But we've heard thos old nasty quips.
If I had a knob,
I would like a blow-job;
Too bad that you chicks don't have lips.
--- Rooster
Hoping a chick will like what is seen.
Only use for a cock,
Was determined ad hoc,
As spreader in the pool of the gene.
--- Anon
And pleased with the size it can grow.
You think it's too much?
So widen your crutch
And stop with this complaint of woe.
--- SFA
Leave your nest, chicks, and comfy abode?
What is there, other side?"
Said the hen, "I have spied
A cock with a load who just crowed."
--- Ed Potts P8508
Of lions, a pride is the rule.
Get hens all together,
They're birds of a feather,
They're a flock wants a cock with a tool.
--- Anon
Try it and you'll prob'ly get kicked
By her chicken toes
Right in your ol' nose --
Or maybe you'll just be de-dicked.
--- Anon
Lived a little red hen and a rooster.
A coquettish glance
She acquired in France,
Gave him ants in his pants, and he goosed her.
--- L1675
Much fun with a chicken I had.
In acts of depravity,
I filled up its cavity,
But the frozen food storeman got mad.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Who would steal farmer's chickens all day.
He'd take them all home
To give them his bone;
Then he'd brag to us all, he got laid.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And took that dumb chicken to bed.
But all of the squaking
Set neighbors a-talking;
So now I fuck hamsters instead.
--- Tiddy Ogg
The hens are as dull as the dickens,
'Cause the randy old rooster
Just ain't what he uster;
I have to go help with the chickens.
--- John Miller
Had lustful designs on a hen.
Who, with pleasure and pride,
Most obligingly cried,
With a flip of her feathers, "Say when!"
--- Anon
Zimbabwe who started hen-fuckin';
Alas his wife saw'd,
And spread it abroad.
When he walks down the street, blokes start clucking.
--- Anon
The hens have started to squawk.
They all went on strike
And said, "Let's take a hike,"
When the farmer locked up their main cock.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file mlk
Is: using a feather's Erotic.
But Kinky is pickin'
The whole Goddam chicken
While banging it. (Also chaotic).
--- Theo Heller P9312
Concerted effort to slake her.
If she starts to cluck,
When you've finished your fuck,
She want you to kiss her cloaca.
--- Irish
So now when I'm trolling for tail,
Things aren't quite the same,
I'm more into game --
Specifically, tender young quail.
--- John Miller
Who befriended a barnyard hen.
'Twould peck at her slit,
And bite at her clit;
She'd never leave critters again.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
The things that these guys put their dick in!
Do you want a fuck
For less than a buck?
Give me one cent; take the chicken.
--- Tom Myers
Of chickens for dipping your hose in,
I tried that once too.
My pecker turned blue.
Next time I'll wait till it's unfrozen.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And parted the lips 'neath her smock
(Despite all the quips
A chick *does* have lips)
Then jacked off his rock with a squawk!
--- Anon
Though I did ask you to buy me a pheasant.
But, what the fuck,
Better get me a duck,
Since you said there was no fucking pheasant!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
So his breath contains much NH3.
That bird has no penis
And so just between us,
Why do hens prefer him over me?
--- John Miller 0313b
Was bemoaning the shortage of men.
"Life is terribly hard --
Not a cock in the yard!
And I've blown my vibrator again."
--- Anon
Who once tried to diddle a pheasant.
It squeezed out his prick
To a regular toothpick,
And it's on vacation, at present.
--- G1302
Who stuck his dick in a hen.
The hen said "Ouch!"
And the boy said "Crouch,
'Cause I'm going to stick you again!"
--- Scott and Roger
Intrigued an old maid of South Brewster.
She sighed, "One big cock
Can take care of this flock,
And each biddy is pleased he's seduced her!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 729 P8504
For a handful of corn, she will pucker.
But the rooster is queer,
So it does not appear
There's a chance he is going to fuck her.
--- Anon
"Hens don't have appeal like they uster!
Why, one pullet today
Said she just wouldn't lay,
But I ran her down, Man and sedooster."
--- Grand Prix Lim 614
A woman began acting quirky.
Without saying a word,
She made love to the bird --
The rest of the story gets murky.
--- Ogden Nield
A plump and obliging young pheasant,
Whom I'd stuff from behind,
Til' it loudly opined,
"Roasting to me, is more pleasant!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Used to diddle his hens in the rain.
"I give them a bloody
Good time when it's muddy,
Which keeps them from getting too vain."
--- L0649
Who cornered a hen, then seduced her.
She found him so base,
She egged on his face--
I guess that he shouldn't have goosed her.
--- Anon
Doesn't mind being goosed now and then,
By cocky young roosters.
They're such morale boosters,
And always welcomed in my pen.
--- Anon
Who cornered a hen, then seduced her.
Before he could wreck her,
She pulled off his pecker --
No longer a chicken, he goosed her!
--- Anon
Who wanted the farmer's young rooster.
"Do give me that cock
That's as hard as a rock."
"Not me!" said the farmer, and goosed her.
--- G0231
Who cackled outside of her den;
The rooster - he goosed her,
Then fully seduced her,
And screwed her all over the pen.
--- Cap'n Bean P0111
Found their pricks were no larger that wens.
As they looked at their foreskins
And wished thay had more skins,
They discovered they'd both become hens.
--- L0214
And I snuck in Papa's corral,
Where we broke his law
With hens that we saw,
By both of us running afowl.
--- Anon
And since I'm much older, instead
Of chasing around
Those hens on the ground
I just let 'em roost in my bed.
--- Anon
Little stirrups for chickens' wee legs.
As he screws up his eyes
And he plunders their thighs,
He makes certain to scramble their eggs.
--- Anon
Is Foghorn Leghorn back in town?
I'll doodle your cock,
Your barnyard will rock,
So hard the hen house will come down.
--- Anon
Was caught having sex with a turkey.
He said with a grin,
"I know it's a sin,
But it sure beats the hell out of jerky!"
--- Peter Wilkins
Took pleasure in stuffing a turkey;
Not the old fashioned way,
With some parsley and bay --
But straight up it, and certainly quirky.
--- Hugh Oliver A082A
In London is really the place. On
A Saturday night,
Though, you'll cringe at the sight,
Of what's stuffed in those chickens by Jason.
--- Anon
Your way, and your tool starts to thicken,
And rises, is throbbing,
There's no need for sobbing;
Try stickin' your dick in a chicken.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Zimbabwe and started he-fuckin';
Alas, his wife saw'd
And spread it abroad...
When he walks down the street, blokes start cluckin'.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And more for his spurned lady's tongue.
He found him a noose
And put it to use.
At least they now call him well hung.
--- Tiddy Ogg
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