In Egypt the locusts would eat
The cotton, the corn, and the wheat;
Then rise in the air
And defecate there
And thus was the cycle complete.
--- Irving Superior

An amourous youth from Atlantis
Removed an Amazon's pantis
And dragged her to bed.
She cut off his head,
But he carried on just like a mantis.

(see the mating technique of the praying mantis)
--- C Vita-Finzi

Two spiders were noisily playing;
Their mom came and gave them a flaying.
She said, "Stop that riot!
You have to be quiet!
A mantis is here and he's praying!"
--- Anon

There once was a Monarch in black
Who ended up on a plaque.
So when people saw her,
They ooed and they ahed her,
For her beautiful orange and black.
--- Garrett Landon

I don't mean to seem too obtuse,
But incubating some orange juice,
I one day discovered
That therein hovered
Maggots the size of a moose.
--- Anon

A moth was intent on his flight,
Said, "I know I'm dying tonight.
But that will be great
If I've found me a mate;
That last second sex -- dynamite!"
--- Anon

Said the moth as he sniffed at the camphor,
I don't know why I'm here, but I am for
Some things that are sweet
And very good to eat,
But camphor I don't give a damn for.
--- John Samoila

I've smoked hairy spiders and slugs;
I've snorted dung beetles off rugs;
I've injected bees,
I've popped many fleas...
I should've just said no to bugs.
--- David Miller

Not meaning a vermin's derision,
But they're ruder with every collision;
Like the felo-de-se
On my windshield today,
Right smack in the line of my vision!
--- Anon

In the bug versus human war,
We can draw on a chemical store.
'Cause though we're bigger
You've got to figure
Their number is ten zillion more.
--- Monique de Plume

My landlord, he should be arrested;
My place is completely infested!
I try and I try
But those buggers won't die;
The poison just won't be digested!
--- Kevin Drizen T9711

Some nature, concerns chief executive;
He's issued an urgent directive.
The cause of decreases
In Death Heads Moth's species,
Is moth balls now seem ineffective.

(moth populations down in Britain)
--- Tiddy Ogg

An insect collector, displaying
His pets to a friend, was heard saying:
"You may chat to the bees,
And the ants and the fleas,
But not to the mantis--he's praying."
--- Mary Danby Armada 1

A Mexican cowered there, foetal.
When asked was he scared, said a leetle,
And there in the corner
A murderous horner!
Yes -- a rhinoceros beetle!
--- Anon

As the dog days of August approach,
Summer heat can afflict man or roach.
But one I saw today,
Scavenged cooly away
In a sleek, air conditioned roach coach.
--- Prof M-G TP9807

Those who compose dirty poems,
Those ignominious gnomes,
They deserve castration
Or humiliation
And roaches invading their homes!
--- Writerman

She screamed as she opened the door,
"There are roaches, dead on the floor."
"These didn't survive;
There are some still alive!"
He said, "But then who's keeping score!"
--- Ron Sartain

But when we're all gone from this Earth,
And of humans there's less than a dearth,
It's the insects, instead,
As some others have said,
Who'll be breeding for all they are worth!
--- Anon

There was an old farmer of Goshem
Who would spray on his crops and would slosh 'em,
To leave no bugs alive,
But if some did survive,
He would stomp on the beasties and squash 'em.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2599

To tap-dance is Archie's affliction,
He said, "Its a type of addiction....
I found it quite thrilling,
To learn dance by killing,
The cock-roaches in my mom's kitchen"
--- David Miller

Said the groom to his best man, "That's torn it:
I've been stucng on the cock by a hornet,
Right under my prepuce,
And it hurts like the deuce,
But the sting's out -- the hornet's withdrawn it."
--- G2059

I have never been fond of herbaria,
Or the rubbish inside of terraria,
Or of make-believe ferns,
Or wax fruit in epergnes, (glass and silver centerpiece)
Or of termites in glass termitaria.
--- Limber Limericks

Somewhere in the forest primeval
The termite, mosquito, and weevil
Beget and beget
From Maine to Tibet,
And no one can cause their upheaval.
--- Limber Limericks

I once asked this realtor Marie:
Please find some New York realty!
She showed me a dive,
Complete with a hive
Of housewarming termites for free.
--- Anon

They would, if they could, eat my wood,
Those termites in my neighborhood.
When they have their sex,
Those fecund insects,
I hope they us Planned Parenthood.
--- Al Willis

A large swarm of zealous termites
Went to mass on Saturday nights.
On the pews they did feast,
Then they nibbled the priest,
And devoured three poor acolytes.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9402

I once had a fully trained moth
Who'd swim like a fish in Scotch Broth.
To end his routine,
He'd fart "God Save The Queen".
Has anyone here got a cloth?
--- Bill Wall

"Hey, waiter my soup's got a fly in!
There's several and they're fast multiplying."
"Have a Caesar's instead,
All the flies will be dead.
Our salads contain Malathion.
--- Prof M-G

Cicadas and crickets abound;
They make a euphonious sound,
On a warm, steamy night,
While the moonlight is bright,
As our summertime's zenith is crowned.
--- Cap'n Bean P0209

There was a young lady named Menzies, (Min-gis)

Said her aunt with a gasp,
"Why, my dear, that's a wasp!
And your holding the end where the sting is!"
--- Anon Punch 1928 (Reed)

A wasp on a nettle said, "Ooh!
We're in the right state, me and you.
We've got to sort out
What this is about.
Please tell me -- who gets to sting who?
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

A lethargic young track star named Schwartz,
Ran a three-minute mile, say reports.
This remarkable gait,
Which caused year-long debate,
Was the work of a wasp in his shorts.
--- Anon

I said to a bug in the sink,
"Are you taking a swim or a drink?"
"I," said the bug
"Am a sea-going tug.
Am I headed for land, do you think?"
--- John Ciardi

This is file mik

"Don't be silly," I said. "That's no sea.
It's a sink." "A sink it may be,
But I'd sooner, I think,
Be at sea in a sink,
Than sink in the sea, sir," said he.
--- John Ciardi

Every time I do my crossword,
I'm asked for a worker type word.
Maybe I am dense,
Even lacking in sense;
They want it with six legs -- you heard!
--- Archie

It may be the ants or the bees
Or termites, all in colonies.
The drones and the workers;
Those bugs are no shirkers;
They go till they fall to six knees.
--- Karen

These colonies may be a kind
Of multiple bodies/one mind.
Could be the stinks
Of pheromone links;
They might be psychicly inclined.
--- Karen

The ancient township of Onider
Is famed for its apples and cider.
You must come to terms
With little green worms,
And her little green family beside her.
--- VOL 11

A scientist studying ants,
Was working on two or three grants.
An ant farm on a shelf
Crashed down on himself,
And so he had ants in his pants.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A naughty young lass from Key Largo
Wondered just how far her beau'd go.
So she pulled down her pants;
It was covered with ants,
And they ate 'most all of his cargo.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

She should have just swallowed some ants
And some laxative with them, perchance.
Then in no time at all,
When nature did call,
She'd have spiders and ants in her pants.
--- Professor

At a picnic near Toulouse in France,
Young Jacques, with his pants full of ants,
Cried, "It's insects, not sex
That give me these effects!"
As the ants in his pants bit his nance...
--- Grand Prix Lim 866

A riot was caused in Big Sur
By the genital itch in the fur
Of a lady with ants
In the crotch of her pants,
Who screwed dozens without a demur.
--- G0527

Wherever they've bushes of lilacs,
I crawl underneath and I lie lax.
But if under plants
Are millions of ants,
Then comfort becomes what my lie lacks.
--- Irving Superior P9803

There is one way to get rid of ants,
If you've failed with the poisons, perchance.
Take the male of the species
And paint him with feces,
And I know this will kill all romance.
--- Anon

"Pissante" where you come from, perhaps;
Lord knows what we'll hear from those chaps.
But down here in Texas,
The critters that vex us,
Are PISS ANTS inside our chaps.
--- John Miller

Dear Nephew; We're in the Antilles.
Named after the island ant hillies.
With everything ants,
Must close now, Unc Hans,
'Cause one of them's now up Aunt Tillie's."
--- Irving Superior P9411

There once was a man from Brazil
Who liked to sit on an anthill.
He was sitting one day,
When he exclaimed "Hey!";
An ant had bit one of his pills.
--- Anon

'Twas a wonderful night for romance,
He whispered to her at the dance.
They went out to the grass,
But things came to pass,
When he suddenly took off his pants!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

She called him a sex maniac pest;
Told him to give passion a rest.
He felt like a fool
As he raced for the pool.
He'd chosen to sit on an ant's nest!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

While waking one day, my old hound
Demolished a huge wood ants mound,
And therein found cash!
Alack and alash,
All chewed; only fragments were found.
--- Tiddy Ogg

In the kitchen, ants came through the crack,
So the homeowner tried to fight back.
The Formica he sprayed;
Their advance was delayed.
Then the ants made a counter attack.
--- Kirk Miller

There once were a grasshopper and ant
Who got married on a tomato plant.
But the whole thing went wrong
For the grasshopper's long
And the poor little ant said, "I can't!"
--- Neal Wilgus P8203

One of my favorite rants,
With regard to government grants,
The sexual study
(Get this old buddy!)
Goes to them what have ants in their pants.
--- Hideout

A jolly good ploy for romance:
Take girls to the forests of Hants
Or possibly Dorset;
Be casual, don't force it...
Just shout, "You've got ants in yer pants!"
--- Anon

What a wonderful beast is the ant!
Those who call it a pest best recant.
Lifting ten times its weight,
Don't you reckon that's great?
And just look at it dragging that plant!
--- David Morin

It was fun, with the cloth on the grass,
And secluded, so it came to pass
That more than just ants
Got into her pants --
My girl is a bonny young lass!
--- John Miller

So that's how you came by a daughter;
Just a roll in the hay as you oughter.
Next time you romance,
Keep your ants in your pants.
Even I would have liked to have caught her.
--- Reqluq

The ant basketball team made a vow
To get better but didn't know how.
It just wasn't right
To be lacking in height.
What they needed was tolerance, now.
--- Kirk Miller

I followed a trail of red ants
From North Alabama to France,
And found that it led
Direct to a bed,
They'd built years ago in my pants.
--- Travis Brasell

A guy took his gal for a walk;
They sat on the grass just to talk.
They scratched at their pants,
They'd sat down on some ants;
Passers-by stopped to giggle and gawk!
--- Arthur Pattaffy

Pins and needles, red ants and a mite;
They sting and stab, tingle and bite.
As bad as that's been,
It worse because then
They're awake for the rest of the night.
--- Anon

Millions of ants marched along,
All chanting a unionist song.
Kill one of our race,
And ten take its place.
We'll be in your house before long.
--- Anon

Of honey, what makes it so sweet?
How does the small bee use his feet
To dance upon flowers,
And fly through May showers,
While shaking his wings to the beat?
--- Matthew Montchalin

He ferries it home without spilling,
Like farmers haul wheat for the milling,
Unloading his bag
In storerooms that sag,
In rooms upon rooms for the filling.
--- Matthew Montchalin

For winter, he makes then some wax,
And carefully james in some cracks,
For building that comb
That circles his home;
It's good to store honey in stacks.
--- Matthew Montchalin