'Twas Jacob Bronowski began
This stuff, with his "A-scent of Man",
And if my aroma
Puts you in a coma,
I'll poke you wherever I can.
--- Anon

Incontinent, that's Charlie Kraus:
He's old, feeble-minded, a souse;
Vomit, pee, and real gems
From assorted BM's
Drive all who can smell from the house.
--- Armand Singer

I so rarely have time for regret,
While I'm screwing a virgin nymphette;
But they always turn off
And their eyes tear--they cough;
It's the smell I exude when I sweat!
--- Mark Levy P9706

Billy Bob suffers from halitosis,
So his breath smells just like his toes's,
Crusted with day old lox,
In sixth period gym socks.
Asked where his dentist was, said "Who know'es?"
--- Anon

In adulthood I can't to this day,
(Ergo sports it's my choice not to play)
Enter a locker room
From which foul odors zoom;
Country Club equals Y.M.C.A
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9706

There was a cheese-maker named Scott
Who found the new flavor he sought.
When he took his first sniff,
His pecker got stiff,
So he labeled it Essence of Twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2291

I just heard your encounter with Riff
Had backfired by scaring you stiff.
Said you scowled and you frowned
On the chair you were bound...
And then fainted when given a whiff.
--- Anon

The fisherman bathed all his life
And swore that he'd never be rife
With the odor of fish,
But failed in his wish,
For now he smells just like his wife.
--- John Miller

A sailor stood out on the sponson,
And he called for the first mate named Bronson.
He said, "One would think
I could lessen the stink
Of the fisherman's wife on my johnson.
--- Heekster

There was a fishmonger named Gus
Who said, "Me? I don't care a cuss
For the smell on my clothes.
See, I just hold my nose
And sit by myself on the bus.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

And on the next floor there is me,
Holding nose most delicately,
And I sarcastically say
In my usual way,
"Was THAT after shave for free?"
--- Anon

The B.O. that most people get
Is caused by a gland that's upset.
Upset that you play
And work every day
And simply just hate to get wet.
--- Irving Superior P9706

If you want to study B.O.,
A whorehouse--the right place to go.
Not only of body
But also of bawdy,
Which very few laymen would know.
--- Irving Superior P9706

A soiled, odorous Dervish, a churl
Had among mindless "Groupies" one pearl,
Who'd break-dance on her head
Then spiral into bed
With her goatskin robes all awhirl.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9706

"Hi Grandpa!" "Hi Joey, my lad!"
I'm happy to see you." "I'm glad."
"So how 'bout a hug?"
"Yeah, hold me up snug.
I love you, although you smell bad.
--- John Miller

My dear husband's feet smell of cheese.
I say, "Keep your socks on, if you please!"
Gorgonzola and brie
Don't appeal much to me;
They cause me to choke, retch, and wheeze.
--- Jayne

I've got a sister called Melly,
And obviously she's quite smelly.
She lives up to the rhyme
And stinks all the time;
We can't wait 'til she moves to New Dehli.
--- Anon

If ever you visit Miss Otis--
The lady with underarm otus--
On raising her arm,
A nasal alarm.
You'll search her abode--where the goat is?
--- Irving Superior P9706

The minute you enter her room,
it's as though an exotic perfume
That makes you recall--
A few, but not all--
Of many an lady friend's womb.
--- Irving Superior P9706a

I thought when you entered my room,
You were wearing some special perfume
Made of garlic and stuff.
The odor was rough;
I was lucky you left there so soon.
--- Bernie

About this I am most emphatic;
I do like a girl aromatic:
That smell that she gets
As she puffs, pants and sweats,
In sex acts with me, acrobatic.
--- Tiddy Ogg

You're gorgeous, from head down to feet;
Your sexual skills can't be beat.
But what makes me clench
My teeth is the stench.
You smell like a vixen in heat.
--- Anon

Tried to raise you right -- you never listened!
And now you're your Ma's little pissant.
There's a striking resemblance;
To encourage remembrance,
Why even the smells reminiscent.
--- Anon

There was a young beatnik named Howard
Whose girl for a month had not showered.
When there blew a slight breeze,
She would smell like ripe cheese.
He backed off and she called him a coward.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2885

A man who had big hammer-toes,
Met a girl with a bone through her nose.
He asked, "Can you smell?"
She replied, "Very well
And those toes don't smell like a rose."
--- Anon

An obstetrician, name of Defoe,
Said to interns following in tow,
"The strangest thing yet
Is that when I sweat,
They accuse me of O.B.B.O."
--- Tom Patton P9708

That part of the bod is unsung,
But the thought of it keeps me quite young.
The name I can't tell, (It has sensitive nerves,)
But it does have a smell, (And it tastes like preserves.)
And it's right on the tip of my tongue.
--- Al Willis P9706a

My dearest, I'm feeling content
As I lie on your breast, but the scent
Of your perfume is too
Overpowering -- ACHOO!
Can't you fucking well open a vent?
--- Anon

Charlotte the harlot from hell,
Said, "I wish that my body would sell.
But it seems that no buyer
Is filled with desire,
'Cause the peculiar way that I smell."
--- Richard Plaistowe

Oh how lush are the scents of Khartoum
And exotic, agreed? I presume;
But the best native pussy,
Sure's my name's Claude Debussy,
Perfumes a plump concubine's room.
--- Armand Singer

He's as cool and as baked as Alaska
(And he brings his own bowl for his hashka.)
But a whiff of that spice
that makes dirty girls nice --
And damn! He's as hot as tabaska!
--- Anon

You say that all perfume is bosh,
And with natural scent you're awash.
Though sometimes the pong
Is a little bit strong,
Those pheremones get me, by gosh.
--- Anon

Maggie's the one makes me wet;
The sexiest girl I have met.
We're very good friends,
Or lovers, depends
On whether she's quenching my jet.
--- H Welchel

This is file mhm

A comic book called HBS (Horny Biker Sluts by John Howard)
Depicts what she looks like undressed.
She's quite like the chick
With mouth full of dick,
And little skull ring in her breast.
--- H Welchel

She likes when I rhyme of her skill,
Or how she last gave me a thrill.
Now if you'll excuse,
The thought of her cooze
Requires me to pickle my dill.
--- H Welchel

Maggie smells nice when she sweats.
Her pheromones make me forgets
To think conscious thoughts.
My limbic cumshots
Conclude when the coma onsetsszzzzz.
--- H Welchel

Comic strips really imitate life
And a couple with stinkers were rife.
Pig Pen, B.O. Plenty,
Transcended mere "scenty".
They'd a smell you could cut with a knife.
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9706

Fernando, the seller of cheese,
Was at best a purveyor of sleaze.
It came from his toes,
So offending the nose,
That it brought a grown man to his knees.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My uncle smells funny, no doubt;
I'm trying to figure it out.
The aroma's not sweet;
Could it be from his feet?
It reminds me of old sauerkraut.
--- Anon

Say "musk" and I think of Rebecca;
For the horny, her pussy was Mecca.
Though her hot little body
Was not at all shoddy,
'Twas her odor that stiffened my pecka.
--- John Miller

A fat lady who called herself Sue
Hadn't bathed since the year '92.
She thought she'd an aura
Of fauna and flora;
She smelled like the St. Louis Zoo!
--- Tom Patton P9708a

There once was a girl from Point Loma,
Who gave off a revolting aroma.
The mephitic stench
Of that odorous wench
Would send men off into a coma.
--- Anon

Then, to be sure, some clown
Will come in with a whiff and a frown.
"Holy Saint Pete,
Whatever you eat,
You can smell the shit all over town"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A poet with a hairy pelt,
Had a terrible blow to him dealt.
When thinking of jigs
And shagging of pigs,
It was his own fingers he smelt.
--- Cyberhog T9711

The magazine publisher, Scott,
Found his sales were increasing a lot
When he showed pictures lewd
Of young girls in the nude,
Which were sprayed with the odor of twat.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2289

A pustule on some old whores ass --
A putrid and swollen green mass --
Was pinched by a turd,
And spewed out a curd
That smelled of sweet cream and cut grass!
--- H Welchel

There was a tall welder named Runyan
Whose pecker came down with a bunion.
When he had an erection,
This painful infection
Gave off the faint odor of onion.
--- Larry Wilde

On the shores of the Sea of Marmora
The people sniff goats from Angora;
They turn up their noses
At lilies and roses,
Preferring the fauna to flora.
--- Lims Unlimited

Clearly, one must have a defense
From one's sexual opposite's scents.
A stench of your own
Staunches whore-moan-al tones,
And separates ladies from gents.
--- Anon

An archer was bonking a wench,
In the kitchen one night, on a bench.
And when he was through,
He asked, "Good for you?"
She replied, "Yes, except for your stench!"
--- Anon

There once was a girl named Michelle
Who washed her hair daily with Prell;
She used Listerine
To keep her breath clean,
But her underarms still stunk like hell.
--- Travis Brasell

And why's your proboscis stuffed under
The arms of Michelle? We wonder
What make you just tarry
In armpits quite hairy,
Instead of her pussy to plunder.
--- Travis Brasell

'Tis the pheremones 'pon which he's bent;
Uncontrollably drawn to the scent
From which others would run
Thinking, my what a bum,
Is for his perversion, a vent.
--- Andy

Since he does display pheremonal
Behavior, he's probably clonal.
He goes around sniffing
And panting and whiffing
At odors that give him a bonal.
--- Travis Brasell

To prepare for my dates, as a man,
I'd use Arrid and Dial and Ban.
All just to quell
That over-ripe smell.
Great -- now they sell sweat in a can.
--- Tom Accousti

Some scurrilous lies 'bout my sox
Have been spreading like wildfire or pox.
I would just like to say
They smell sweeter than hay;
(Though less sweet, I admit, than my jocks.)
--- Anon

When he gave her a single red rose,
And she suddenly, wordlessly, froze,
Blind Freddy could tell
That the outcome would smell.
Even blokes with bad eyes have a nose.
--- Rory Ewins

A perfume inspector was Scott,
At work he sniffed perfumes a lot.
At the end of the day,
He would come home and say,
"You can't beat the odor of twat."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2290

My Valentine, your ass is just swell;
Here's some perfume to help with the smell.
Just spray it all over;
Smells just like fresh clover,
So if you spray on too much...oh well.
--- M Foster

The professor, a mean old punk,
Ate Limburger cheese by the chunk;
Combined with BO,
And the farts that he'd blow,
It was worse than a run-over skunk.
--- Anon

Though he was a good-looking gent,
He put off the girls with his scent.
In accents quite scathing,
One asked, "And your bathing--
I guess that's a yearly event?"
--- Norm Storer P9705

I met a young fellow named Bradley,
Whose grammar confounded me, sadly.
Though a high school grad,
When he said, "You smell bad!"
What he meant was, "You smell very badly."
--- Alex Heydon P0505

The world is so full of a number of things,
I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings.
I'll they you a story--
It won't take me long--
Of a brother and sister whose tale is my song.
--- G1520

There was an old fellow and what do you think?
He lived on the cheese that he scraped from his dink.
He whacked it, he hacked it,
He ate it with glee--
Was there ever a fellow so happy as he?
--- G1521

This charming old chap had a sister as well:
He was ugly and gaunt, with a horrible smell.
He cunt was so dirty
It stank like a beast,
And the odor killed flies as they gathered to feast.
--- G1522

What a wonderful family! What marvellous style!
I'll bet you and I aren't close by a mile.
Their odor and diet
Won't soon be forgotten,
And one day you and I may be equally rotten.
--- G1523

The marching band from Westphalia,
Dressed in their finest regalia,
Aborted their march
Because of the starch
In their shorts, which chafed genitalia.
--- Bob Moers A