His friends are fierce warriors that fight;
They carry sharp spears that do bite.
Some wait for a sign,
Then chase from behind,
Avenging their friends with great spite.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Bend closer and hear how they sing!
At home they must dance in a ring,
And celebrate honey,
The summer when sunny,
And the feeling of wind on their wing.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Reciting great songs to their Queen,
They tell of the things that they've seen,
The treasures they've taken,
The times they're mistaken,
The lilies they've harvested clean.
--- Matthew Montchalin

And made of thin bark is their hive;
Of this they don't take or deprive.
For when tending their place,
Or when taming their race,
Those walls are things needed to thrive.
--- Matthew Montchalin

And let you, dear hive, have small doors;
Small hole, beyond which, great stores.
Good workers lined up,
Awaiting with luck,
Their honey, they haul as their chores.
--- Matthew Montchalin

They sing as they march, the whole mass,
(But some hives, I've heard) live in the grass,
Or under the ground,
And there is their town,
As least until tamed, long at last).
--- Matthew Montchalin

Celeestial expressions of light,
Extracted from flowers in flight,
They lay it within
And station their men
In chambers inside, out of sight.
--- Matthew Montchalin

This treasure they watch and protect;
It glimmers in rays which reflect,
From walls light admitting,
And windows tight slitting,
To hold for hard times they expect.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Now lions have courage and claws,
And Bees their inscrutable laws,
But compared to them both,
How can we but note,
How humble we are with our flaws.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Below; the great star-speckled sky,
The Bee will find flowers and pry,
And take out some drops,
While humans raise crops,
And tired, lean back and just sigh.
--- Matthew Montchalin

The night is approaching, go home!
Retreat, little bee, to your comb.
As farmers lock gates,
Your Queen tracks the dates
And places you've traveled and flown.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Though daylight is vanishing soon,
And shepherds will drive by the moon,
The little bee must
Get home before dusk,
To sleep in his own little room.
--- Matthew Montchalin

A bumblebee happened to pass
A pair making love in the grass,
And yes, folks, you guessed
He wasn't impressed,
And stung the poor bloke on the ass.
--- Tiddy Ogg

He jumped up; his eyes with tears wellin'
And cried: "See the lump he's made, Helen."
She murmured, "Yes Rick,
Should have stung your wee dick;
That thing surely needs further swellin'".
--- Tiddy Ogg

'Round here, it's the fire ant that crawls
Down the crack of your ass to your balls,
While Helen just clings
As you writhe to the stings,
And your dance has her climbing the walls.
--- John Miller

Big Bumblebee Bob was up-ended.
His engines no longer suspended.
The force of his landing
Had left poor Bob standing
On up, not his down, as intended.
--- Eric Hinds

Poor Bumblebee Bob was then caught.
He had not done all that he ought.
His stinger retracted,
His butt would have acted
Like springs and sprung him from the spot.
--- Eric Hinds

As he rose from the hood of the Lexus,
Big Bumblebee Bob checked the nexus
Of stinger erectus,
And bumblebee rectus,
And rubbed his sore Solar-Perplexus.
--- Eric Hinds

A honeybee drone's cousin was
The one girl he wanted to buzz.
When asked why and who
He decided to woo,
He answered to both, "Just bee-cuz."
--- Actaeon

A cow eating grass on the lawn,
Ate a bee that was sitting thereon.
Said the bee, "I will rest,
Then I'll sting her with zest!"
When the bee woke, the cow was long gone.
--- Albin Chaplin

Said a fellow, much dafter than me,
'All day long I shall mimic a bee.'
But although he spent hours
Buzz-buzzing round flowers,
He couldn't make honey for tea.
--- Funfax Limericks

There once was a boy of Baghdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad,
Who said, "I will see
If a sting has a bee."
Call the doctor! (He found that it had.)
--- Anon

There was a young lady of Ulva,
Who kept a pet bee in her vulva.
Her lover, called Jock,
Was stung on the cock,
So to soothe him she bought him a halva.

(halva - sesame seed and honey confection)
--- T Johnson

There once was a bee name of Ringer,
Who, each Spring, was a bit of a swinger.
He'd rise up and say,
"Let me lead you astray!
But mind you watch out for my stinger!"
--- Kitty Litter

A careful beekeeper from Sydenham
Protected his bees with a lid on 'em.
He said, "It's not nice
If they're eaten by mice,
But I really just cannot get rid of 'em."
--- Funfax Limericks

There was a young apiarist, Clive,
Who took a queen bee for a drive.
When asked, "Does she sting?"
He said, "No such thing,
She's always been known to beehive.
--- Langford Reed

I would give quite a bit of real money
If we didn't need bees to make honey.
Those bees, Africanus,
Can just kiss my anus;
Those welts on my butt are not funny.
--- Al Willis

A procession of young PhD's
Was attacked by a column of bees.
With BA's and MA's,
They fled in a daze
And only crept back by degrees.
--- Laurence Perrine P8311

There was a young brave named Cochise,
That once had a fetish for trees.
When he finally got laid,
He disturbed the poor maid
By insisting on checking for bees.
--- Greg

A lazy bee, loaded with money,
Bought most of his quota of honey (should be her - McW)
And carried it back
To his hive in a sack,
That was black and undoubtedly runny.
--- Lims Unlimited

In Wagontire once lived a man
Who harvested honey by hand.
Except for the stingers,
He hurt all his fingers
While giving each bee a small brand.
--- Matthew Montchalin

Each morning old beekeeper Clive
Awakes at a quarter to five,
And checks his sweet honey
To see if her cunny
Still houses his swarm in her hive.
--- Anon

And Clive, as routinely he does,
Inserts his old tongue in her fuzz,
To taste his sweet honey
That makes him some money,
And give his sweet honey a buzz.
--- Anon

This is file mhk

I once had a date with a ferret,
Thus earning the Order of Merit.
For dating a bee,
I got the V.C.
Which my offspring will some day inherit.
--- Bill Wall

At the ocean, a fellow named Lee,
He got stung, on his butt, by a bee.
But he got some relief,
Even though it was brief,
Just by dipping his ass in the sea.
--- Cap'n Bean

Make sure there are no bees a-dwelling.
I'm sure, sir, you don't need me telling
Of bee sting reaction,
But girls' satisfaction
May well be increased by the swelling.
--- Anon

There once was a man from Nantucket;
If anything moved he would fuck it.
So great was his yearning,
He wasn't discerning,
And didn't care much where he stuck it.
--- Anon

He would stick it wherever he'd please,
And he even tried knot-holes in trees.
But he got a big shock
When he stuck in his cock,
And excited a nestful of bees.
--- Anon

"Oh, Shall I compose thee a sonnet?
I worship thy hair, and what's on it.
It's not what I said;
There's no bug on thy head,
So no need for a bee in they bonnet."
--- Rory Ewins

A man who feared insects, named Paine,
From fucking a girl would abstain,
Till he looked, if you please,
For hornets and bees
By poking her twat with a cane.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2907

A short-sighted spider named Wally,
Told a fly in his web of its folly.
But his victim you see
Was a Japanese bee;
When it stung him, it said, 'Velly solly.'
--- Tony Broome, Christchurch

Once a careless bee-keeper named Norm
Found himself unprepared to perform,
Face to face while alive,
Yet confronted the hive;
It was truly the qualm 'fore the storm.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

In Yachats there lived a young couple
Whose beehive gave them lots of trouble.
The were stung in the eyes
And then again, twice,
And now, through the swelling, see double.
--- Matthew Montchalin

A bee-keeper, tending his bees,
Was unable to stifle a sneeze;
He blew all the drones
Down under the stones
And the workers way up in the trees.
--- Lims Unlimited

A hornet was starting to cry
And sobbed: Tell me please why do I
Have a sting in my tail?
With women I fail.
I can't even pick up a fly.
--- Anon

A crazy beekeeper named Clive,
For ten quid stuck his dick in the hive.
But then he got stung
In more ways than one,
'Cause his mate only coughed up for five.
--- Phil T

There was a young girl of Dundee
Got stung (guess where?) by a bee;
Your guess is fine,
If you have a foul mind,
If not, it is someplace you see.
--- K P Bahadur P0107

There was an old man of Dumfries
Who was stung on the nose by some bees.
He uttered loud cries
As it swelled to the size
And the color of ripe Edam cheese.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

A wasp in a hospital bed
Was buggered and soon would be dead.
He said, "I blew my chance;
I attempted to dance,
And stung my own asshole, instead!"
--- Anon

There was a young farmer named Lee,
Who was stung when he sat on a bee.
Lee cried out: "Ouch!
For this I can vouch:
Getting stung in the butt's not for me."
--- William K Alsop Jr

A bumblebee happened to pass
A pair making love in the grass,
And yes, folks, you've guessed,
He wasn't impressed,
And stung the poor bloke on the ass.

A long-nosed old person of Dee
Got stung on the cock by a bee.
When it swelled like a ball,
He could not see at all,
So he dunked it in very hot tea.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

I see you're recovered from fire
And alarms and are filled with desire,
For your underwear's off
For another great boff.
(Horniculture is all you desire!)
--- Peter Wilkins

But that chair you are on is unstable;
You'd better get up on this table.
It's just the right height
When I'm standing upright,
And I'm upstanding right to my navel.
--- Peter Wilkins

You'll have to be careful, my dear,
Of the sun on your petals. So here
With a regular motion,
I'll rub on this lotion
And please do the same for my spear.
--- Peter Wilkins

I can see from your 36 B's
That my stroking is starting to please.
Will you brace yourself, dear,
For I'm aiming my spear --
And I'm...OW! It's those damn bloody bees!
--- Peter Wilkins

My estate has a large apiary;
You would do well to be wary.
You were always well hung,
But since you're been stung,
You're outstanding (although temporary).
--- Ericka

Maybe I should invite two fliers
To land and be breast vampires.
Perhaps those bees
Could give me two C's,
Which I've often heard you admire.
--- Ericka

I'm sorry. Your pain I should kill.
Please sit on this hummock, quite still.
Let me see your poor spear --
(Still swollen, I fear)
Get Up! It's a fire ant hill!
--- Ericka

"I can't even do it alone,
I guess that's the fate of a drone.
And I have just seen
The cutest danged queen.
That sure sucks," I heard the bemoan.
--- Anon

There once was a man from Tralee,
Who stopped on the road for a pee.
He made a mistake
Prolonging the shake,
Because he was stung by a bee.
--- Anon

I think that I'll never see,
A poem as fine as a tree.
But then I'll never hear
A poem so queer,
As the sound of a trapped bumble bee.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A wasp said, "Karate's for chicks.
I don't need to learn any kicks.
When I'm in a fight,
I'm always all right.
Kicks need legs -- and I have six.
--- Anon

"You have bees," she said, "in your alveary."
I was more than a little bit leery,
'Til she kindly replied,
"Not the hollow inside
Of your ear, but a beehive, my dearie."
--- Tim Alborn

There was an old person of Zug
Who was found on all fours on the rug:
When they said "You've a fit!"
He replied "I've been bit,
And I'm morally sure it's a bug!"
--- Rudyard Kipling P8903

There was a young lady of Whitby
Who had the bad luck to be bit by
Two brown little things
Without any wings,
And now she's uncomfy to sit by.
--- Lewis Carrol

I was sailing on the lakes of Nieuwkoop,
Or rather being towed by a rope,
As the wind was quite still;
Not even a swill
Would set the sails in a good scope.
--- Anon