A spermatozoa called Dave
Found himself in a long narrow cave,
And fearing his doom,
Climbed into a womb,
Met an egg, and they started to rave.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

One fallopian tube to another
Said, "My turn this month to be a mother."
"Your ova-provide-
d," the other one cried;
"But your under-supplied," said the other...
--- Peter Wilkins

"Your ova are ova the hill
And not ovaly keen on the thrill;
But I'll make an eggception;
You try for conception."
"Okay," said the other, "I will!"
--- Peter Wilkins

A conceptual masterpiece, this,
Which no one could possibly hiss.
But can one afford
To roundly applaud,
An occasion at best hit-or-miss.
--- Prof

A spermatozoa called Claude
Was feeling lethargic and bored,
So he went for a swim
Right into a quim,
And in no time at all -- Claude scored!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa named Proff,
Was jerking his little tail off.
Just by pure luck,
He got his head stuck,
In something quite thicky and soff..
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa named Horace
Belonged to a fellow called Boris.
And as Boris humped
Horace was pumped,
Into someone who gave Boris solace.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

We're here in this strange terra nova,
And found nothing interesting, so fa'.
But we got to rush
Or else she will flush
Us out 'fore we get to the ova.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A spermatozoa called Odin,
Had a quite dreadful foreboding;
The hole he was sent in,
Belonged to a gent in
Possession of faulty sex coding.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Ivan
Had a man who tried life to enliven.
He found a young gel
Who handled him well;
Ivan fell in her palm on a divan.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Lee,
Had feelings of gladness and glee.
But his mirth turned to doubt
When he was, he found out,
In the orifice used for a pee.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Lew
Was waiting, with nothing to do.
When his man felt an urge,
And Lew, with a surge,
Was projected straight into a loo.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Two sperm were discussing the issue
Of Buddha, Nirvana, and Vishnu.
Where they were was all white,
So they thought it all right,
Little knowing it was only a tissue.
--- Wobbly

A spermatozoa called Ted
Came out on the night they were wed,
But was sadly, withdrawn,
And discovered next morn,
Remaining, a stain on the bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Ed
Had a double length tail but no head.
He came back to front
In a nice lady's cunt,
And a knot in his tail, it is said.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Sperm 1: "I feel quite out of place."
Sperm 2: "Me too, but 'twas nice change of pace."
Sperm 1: "Bet we look funny
All gooey and runny."
Sperm 2: "Oh no, we look good on her face!"
--- Travis Brasell

A spermatozoa named Jack
Said, "I think that we're on the right track;
Past the entrance we've sped,
In the dark and ahead
Are the tonsils we aim to attack.
--- Marlene Lewis

Sounds more like poor Jack was just lost,
Which he would soon find -- to his cost.
He did not taste good,
So, just like I would --
The poor girl, her cookies, she tossed.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now Jack's on a trip down the loo.
If he aims to make something new,
It will not be pretty --
It's going to be shitty --
'Cause all he can get to is poo.
--- Peter Wilkins

A close friend of Jack's was name Frank.
In the next load ex the sperm bank,
While looking forward to cunt,
Heard a yell from up front,
"Go back lads, it's only a wank!"
--- Marlene Lewis

The fate of the sperm is unclear.
And all will admit the same fear,
In finding the spot,
In which it is shot,
Is the ass of a big hairy queer.
--- Goin2later

A spermatozoa called Sean,
Aroused when his man got the horn,
And from this erection
Shot out with perfection.
Nine months later a baby was born.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Mac,
Found himself in a wee lassie's crack.
He cried out aloud
To the rest of the crowd,
"Ah came, and ah'm nae goin' back."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A sperm platoon well trained and steady.
One weakling, though, said: "I'm not ready.
Can't go with the flow,
Much too weak now, you know.
When I gain strength I'll catch up", so said he.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Ron
Was called on, and now he has gone.
Because in the night
To someone's delight,
Ron shot out from inside a hard-on.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa named Bruce,
When styling his tail with some mousse,
Said to his master,
"It'll be a disaster!
I'll end up as someone's papoose!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Two sperm swimming after the blast,
Said one, "I don't think I can last.
I don't mean to beg,
But I can't reach the egg.
It's only the tonsils I've past."
--- Tim Fisher

A spermatozoa named Mort
His mission just wouldn't abort.
He managed to slip
Past that resevoir tip...
Now he's living on dad's child support!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa called Boyce
Held on grimly but hadn't a choice,
When a sudden explosion
Sent Boyce and an ocean
Of friends past the tonsils of Joyce.
--- Peter Wilkins

A brother to Boyce was named Bruce,
Who, too, tried to hold but no use;
The blast had such force,
It knocked him off course,
And sailed him through Knockatooth Loose.
--- Peter Wilkins

Joyce thought herself to be great,
At the speed with which she'd fellate.
A soft inner cheek,
Tongue silky and sleek,
Caused many to shoot and gyrate.
--- Nini Poo

A spermotozoa called Ed
Quite philosophically said,
"If she's on the Pill
Why is it a thrill,
To get me excited in bed".
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a sperm cell named Lou,
Who dreamed that an egg tryst was due.
But his dream proved a dud,
For his swinging host's pud
Trysted off in the mouth of one Sue!
--- Playboy Mag Jim Weaver

This is file mdm

A spermatozoa called Jules,
Swimming happily in a gene pool,
One day was projected,
Much as expected,
From the tool of a fool up in school.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Some spermatozoa, they're French,
Were hot to get into some wench.
When they heard her "Oui Oui's"
They thought, "Where she pees?
Or shall we that Gallic thirst quench?"
--- Tutta Gioia

My memory takes me 'way back
To life as a sperm in the sack.
With millions of guys
With teensy-small Y's
And gals with an X for a crack.
--- John Miller

I stopped not for breakfast nor dinner;
Like the tortoise, I came out the winner.
It really felt swell
As I latched to her shell
And happily drilled my stuff in her.
--- John Miller

One night when my mother got hot,
My dad did his thing -- I was shot
In a thin rubber sack,
But did that hold me back?
As you clearly can see, it did not.
--- John Miller

At the time I was naught but a blister.
I noted another -- my sister --
Who shared the same sac;
But she turned her back
When I made my advance, and I missed her.
--- John Miller

"I know we're inside her twat,"
Said sperm number one, "It's so hot
And moist, juices thick..."
Sperm two: "Yeah, I'm sick
And tired; and I'm feeling quite shot!"
--- Travis Brasell

A spermatozoa called Thor
Was received with a scream and a roar,
When he was ejected
Somewhat unexpected,
In a throat that was painful and sore.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

Two ova called Mary and Joy
Were so innocent, blushing and coy,
That they asked Ermintrude,
If she saw Dick intrude,
To shout, "Spermatoazoa ahoy!"
--- Anon

A spermatozoa called Boyd
Was exceedingly upset and annoyed
To discover he'd not
Been shot straight up a twat,
But instead into space and a void.
--- Peter Wilkins

For poor little Boyd with some feeling
Had hoped for a fate more appealing,
And felt he'd much rather
Have been somebody's father
Than glued to the ceiling, congealing.
--- Peter Wilkins

Worse places there are to be flung,
Like straight up the chute of a bung.
Once mired there in muck,
Then Boyd would be stuck
And destined to squirt out with dung.
--- Goin2later

A man from Manputo and so on,
Once kept a pet spermatozoon;
It used to swim races
In feminine places --
I haven't much data to go on.
--- J H Lee

Poor Leo, poor Jimmy, poor Lenny,
Were ingested, just some among many
In digestive juices
To die. Such abuse is
So common it's not worth a penny.
--- John Miller

I was contented and snug in your ball
'Till your silly sex nature did call.
In a violent broth
You me did send forth;
Later to appear with a bawl.

There once was a sperm name of Leo,
Who longed from the balls to get free-o,
Yet in panic swam back,
For it wasn't a crack,
That led to the tummy of Cleo.
--- John Miller

Two sperms recalled tales of their past;
Said one, "Life's a bitch -- goes too fast!"
"You're right," said the other,
"But aren't we glad, brother,
That we started out with a blast?"
--- Travis Brasell

But now what's that sticky brown goo,
That's washing out both me and you.
I thought it a joke
That they use diet coke,
To clear us out; gee but it's true.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And something more's happening, I note,
The mouth of that randy old goat
That dumped us in here,
Is sucking us clear
And we're now in the bugger's own throat.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A spermatozoa called Jill
Was taking it really quite ill..
All those macho tadpoles,
Said she'd too many holes,
To swim with the requisite skill.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A flow of sperm's racing along
Toward the head of a pumping hard dong.
Says a tiny weak critter,
"Better stop till I'm fitter;
To compete now is utterly wrong."
--- Anon

A spermatozoa called Paul,
Was reluctant to exit the ball.
He knew he was right
And in a great plight,
When a turd came and hit him -- that's all.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A spermatozoa, (no name)
Was swimming about in a dame.
Said he: "Tubes fallopian
Are quite near utopian!
A vast difference from whence I came."
--- Anon

What I am called, rhymes with germ;
When pleasure, becomes a concern.
I swim in races
In feminine places,
My applicator resembles a worm.
--- Anon

Said an ovum one night to a sperm,
"You're a very attractive young germ.
Come join me, my sweet,
Let our nuclei meet,
And in nine months, we'll both come to term."
--- Isaac Asimov

There was a young poet named Corso,
Exceedingly short in the torso;
An undersized dwarf,
Scaled down endomorph,
A pigmy manque, only more so.
--- Armand E Singer 240B

The boy who forgot to grow down
Grew up on the far side of town;
By the time he was seven,
He was six-foot-eleven,
A figure of highest renown.
--- Tom Baker P8806

There was a young man of Bengal
Who grew most excessively tall.
He'd peer from his height
And his wife, poor wee mite,
He hardly could see her at all.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

There once was a young guy named Fred,
Whose feet were quite far from his head.
His girlfriend was small,
'Bout four feet in all;
But height doesn't matter in bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a

A salesman without any cares,
Caught a housewife quite unawares.
She was eight inches taller
Than her gentleman caller,
So their passion took place on the stairs.
--- John Fernbank

So short was the girl of young Visser,
He knelt on his knees just to kiss her.
When she stood on her toes,
The end of her nose
Would come to the knob on his pisser.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2376

There is no particular knack
To give people the height that they lack.
For there's only one way,
You should try it today;
It's called stretching yourself on the rack.
--- Anon

If over your peer group you loom;
If you're tallest, by far, in the room,
Here is research to fear:
Each inch costs you a year,
And you'll have to pay more for your tomb.

(yeah but you get a lot more - McW)
--- Anon

A tall man who found his great height
Was the level of birds in their flight.
When they did ask why
He'd his head in the sky,
He described the cause of his plight.
--- Edwin J Weinstein