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David Hilbert once had an ambition This is one method, essential, For equations with one main condition, An Abelian groupie named Claire There once was a fellow from Syracuse (Stoke phenomena with resurgent functions)
Here's the key to z to the c: e to the z is exotic, Computing is easy as pie, A combinaturist named Curt (Curt Lindner)
The bottom is perfectly noble, One winter a fearless young Druid A mathematician named Lutz (Don Lutz)
"With math you've explained as desired, The professor who chased eager Miss Kerr, To Gordon at Williams we ran. A mathematician named Horn Some students spend life in a lab, (Erick Lehtonen)
Said a mathematician named Haar, I after e after u The very next time that we meet, This Wednesday our visitor Jens (Jordan Curve Theorem)
If your tensors are needing correction An Argentine techie, Miguel, The perfidious lemma of Dehn, A bachelor named Bra took a bet Just pair off each row with each column. These mappings aren't hard to divine; There once was a matrix named Fred, This lecture concerns Maxwell's demon (Ray Menegus)
He's the dean of the high mathematics, A sequence A_n tends to P, An arithmetic teacher named Jones There was a math student called Hector, Null vectors have zero projection, It was a dark Sturmy night (Sturm-Liouville difference equations)
There was a young man from PB, (Steve Pierce)
There's talk on the method of lines Oh give me a home where the matrices roam, Herman Schwarz was a man of the C, (David Lesley)
Now that Bernie's retired with his pets, (Bernie Marcus)
Oh, what will the fair maid named Tessa do? Oh what will the fair maid named Tessa do? Any smooth vector field on a sphere (Poincaire-Hopf theorem)
Here's some work that was done for the Navy, Sophus Lie was quite a guy, There once was a function named g, A trig-happy trickster from Beacon An industrious lad from the near East, Strange scholars and eccentric erratics There once was a wethead named Yule There was a young man from New York There was a young lady named Suzie, There once was a Theorem Binomial I wonder but I don't know why I agree, I say with a sigh. For a rabbit, it's tragic and sore a(x)**2 + b*x = c, Call me weird, but those numbers complex Now j, square root of minus 1, The square root of minus 1, j, And engineers make with it free, And if this thing j isn't real, And when off the ceiling you're scraped, What Yanks call i solves many queries: Further, when you get right down to it, To get some momentum and traction, Imaginary numbers like i
To describe perfectly his condition.
He traced out a vector;
To the mind, quite a specter,
In dimensions of his own volition!
--- Andrew Yeats
For equations we solve, differential.
It gets the job done,
And it's even quite fun;
We just try a routine exponential.
--- David Morin
If linear, we give you permission
To take your solutions
With firm resolutions
And add them in superposition.
--- David Morin
Loved to commute everywhere.
She thought Galois ideal,
And that Zorn had appeal,
But the best was to do it with Baire.
--- Literary Group
Whose taste in math problems was sure abstruse.
But he did seem to love
The topic above.
I can only guess one of this gears was loose.
--- Literary Group
It's just e to the c ln z.
But watch for ln y,
It's values are many,
Though sometimes e makes them agree.
--- Anon
And it changes a sum to a product.
It has no root,
But it's kind of cute,
And it's vertically periodic.
--- Anon
Especially if you can try.
There's a derivation
And an exclamation
And don't forget the two pi i.
--- Anon
Tried to embed till it hurt,
A whole triple system,
But then when he missed 'em,
He settled for part and it worked.
--- Literary Group
But x is now upwardly mobile,
So that constant, poor dear,
Must downsize his career
And it's feeling a bit claustrophobal.
--- Anon
Dived into a rotating fluid.
But he was not ready
For such a big eddy.
The poor fellow's head came unscrewed.
--- Literary Group
Can handle equations that futs.
When answers act badly
He tackles them gladly,
And threatens to kick all their butts.
--- Literary Group
Laplace, stars we all have admired,"
Said Napoleon, "It's odd
That you've not mentioned God."
"That hypothesis wasn't required."
--- A N Wilkins P8506a
Was arrested because he would whisk her
To his study each day,
Where he babbled away
About Bach, Carroll, Goedel, and Escher.
--- David Finley
Deveaux said that it would be grand.
The heat makes us swell.
The gnats were from Hell.
And wine from our dinner was banned!
--- Anon
Is the best-equipped man ever born.
He keeps in his jock
A maximal cock,
Obtained by a lemma of Zorn.
--- Michael Weinstein P8506
And others think libraries fab.
But Eric draws groups
With branches and loops,
And says "It beats driving a cab."
--- Literary Group
"Von Neumann can't see very far.
He missed a great treasure --
They call it Harr measure --
Poor Johnny's just not up to par."
--- Anon
After pi after n after 2
After parenthesis ln
And then no more spellin'
Unless we find something new.
--- Bob Blackerd
Prof Bray will be up on his feet,
And he will explain
The sorrow and pain
Caused by logic he thinks incomplete.
--- Literary Group
Will show us the outs and the ins
Of a simple closed curve.
In fact, he'd the nerve
To attempt a new proof that makes sens.
--- Literary Group
And your vector fields some re-direction,
Then listen to me,
And go suffix-free,
And make use of a Koszul connection.
--- Jonathan Munn
He reconciled data so well,
My eye was distracted;
The lecture detracted
By his laser pointer from Hell.
--- Anon
Drove many a man insane,
But Christos Pop-
akiriakop-
olous solved it without any pain.
--- John Milnor
That he'd meet a young spinster named Ket.
He boasted he'd hail her;
"Hi...let's make a scalar,
Or turn back to back and project."
--- Arthur Leek
Take the sum of those producrts so solemn.
Then beat the odds
With those scalar prods
Or whatever the devil you call 'em.
--- Anon
They squash a whole space to a line.
But the process is dirty
And awfully hurty.
It makes Pierce give a Grone and a whine.
--- Literary Group
With a vector he wished to be wed.
But Fred was too wide;
He had three on a side,
And the two column vector, she fled.
--- Andrew Yeats
Whose actions are innocent seemin'.
But he holds no awe
For the great Second Law,
So his engine just keeps right on steamin'.
--- Literary Group
Who has enough nerve to attack its
Most difficult tasks.
If anyone asks,
He's doing his mind's acrobatics.
--- Laurence Perrine P8506
If for each positive real valued e
There's a natural N
Such that from bigger then
Mod A_m minus P's less than e.
--- Jonathan Munn
Was reduced by the new math to groans.
He shortly expired,
Since he had not retired,
And he now serves as Napier's Bones.
--- aNON
Who couldn't tell scalar from vector.
"I'm quite at a loss
To tell a dot from a cross --
I ought not to work in this sector.
--- Anon
This is file mdl
So you ask, "What can be their direction?"
They point any which way.
"That's BS!" you say?
Not really; it's just misdirection.
--- Q
And in Liouville Kentucky, the sight
Of strange oscillation
For difference equations
Gave dogs and young children a fright.
--- Literary Group
Whose matrices oozed symmetry,
So that when they're reflected
In ways unexpected,
They still look the same, don't you see.
--- Literary Group
And errors causing engineeers whines.
But we'll see here a fix
Using mathematical tricks,
Which Runge and Kutta'd think fine.
--- Literary Group
And the scalars and vectors all play,
Where never is heard
An orthoganal word,
And determinants never go 'way.
--- Literary Group
Whose results we all use constantly.
We reflect on their beauty;
The inequality's a cutie,
And his Lemma's the best that you'll see.
--- Literary Group
He's entranced with the theory of sets --
How a countable few
Can be uncountable, too.
That's as crazy as math ever gets.
--- Literary Group
She's been after a simple-pole residue.
She says, "Now I see.
It's Q-prime under p.
Then I plug in z-nought or I guess I do."
--- Anon
She's been after a single-pole residue.
She says, "Now I see
It's q-prime under p.
Then I plug in z-nought -- or I guess I do.
--- Anon
Will at some certain point disappear.
That's why, when you comb
Out the hair on your dome,
You must leave a patch of it clear.
--- Lassie's Lover TP9901
Whose ships sail on water that's wavy.
Things must be found
Using nothing but sound,
So that Steve here can bring home some gravy.
--- Literary Group
Whose math reputation stands high.
And all he has told us
Is not hocus pocus,
For Sophus, we know, would not lie.
--- Literary Group
Whose tangents were not meant to be.
There were wiggles and jumps
And too many humps;
So to fix it, we sent g to Hui.
--- Literary Group
Is stuck on an odd-powered secant.
An integral table
Would render him able,
But his conscious is prodding "no peekin'."
--- Anon
Was summing a long Taylor series.
By the twentieth head
He just shrugged and said,
That's as far as I go, my dearies.
--- Anon
Do perverted acts in mathematics.
Convex or concave
And designed to enslave --
No wonder they're such damn fanatics!
--- Neal Wilgus P8506
Who claimed he was hung like a mule.
But that mule, like his data,
It always came later,
Leaving dames unimpressed and quite cool.
--- Anon
Who on Yang Mills equations did work.
He got this fascination
When, back in gestation,
His mother was scared by a quark.
--- Literary Gropup
Who couldn't add 2z and 2z.
She said, "Can't it be
Without that old z?"
She's being a little too choosy.
--- Anon
Who received a great testimonial
At the fancy equation.
He was quite a sensation
Despite being a little hexagonial.
--- Anon
Rabbits but can multiply.
They have the potential
To be exponential,
But we won't say a thing about pi.
--- Aleck Cape Town T9712
Rabbits don't think, God know why!
But when they circle a bend
They must feel that they'll end
Up in something one calls Rabbit Pi.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To be baked like those birds twenty-four;
But it sure is a hoot
When they find a square root,
And can't figure which side to core.
--- Danube
Is called a quadratic whoopee.
An expression abstruse
That's of no earthly use;
The result's always zero, you see.
--- Ed Potts P8506
Call to mind healthy marital sex;
They form conjugal pairs
With real parts shared --
And the rest on each partner reflects.
--- Dr Limerick
To work out its worth, can't be done.
So does it exist?
That's shrouded in mist,
But it gives mathematicians much fun.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Imaginary, math gurus say,
So does it exist?
That's shrouded in mist,
But allows number crunchers to play.
--- Tiddy Ogg
For reactive impedance: i.e.
Impedance, they'll tell,
You, is omega L.,
Or one over omega C.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Which scientists say is the deal,
Take capacitor, large,
And fill it with charge,
Then grab it and see what you feel.
--- Tiddy Ogg
With just a few burns you've excaped,
Was that there sensation
Just pure 'magination?
Reflect that you've not got it taped.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Polynomials, Fourier series.
It obeys all the rules
Of mathematical tools,
And helps physicists write down their theories.
--- Dr Limerick
It's almost as hard to intuit
"Zero" or "Pi"
Or the square root of five;
Sight and smell just won't help you do it.
--- Dr Limerick
When confronting a bizarre abstraction,
Pretend it exists,
And see if it assists
Understanding a physical action.
--- Dr Limerick
Are for me, much less pie in the sky,
That the fortune I seek
At the end of each week,
When a lottery ticket I buy.
--- Peter Wilkins
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