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I once say a ten inch earthworm,
Whose hair was done up in a perm.
When told he looked dumb,
"Not so!" said his mum,
"But it certainly would on a germ."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A worm with a fear of enclosure
Tried hard not to lose his composure,
When faced with the fact
He was being attacked,
But eventually died of exposure.
--- Ryan Waldron

There was an old lady of Herm,
Who tied bows on the tail of a worm.
Said she, "You look festive,
But don't become restive,
You'll throw them right off if you squirm.
--- Anon

A worm on the highway was pacing;
Uncertain, his worm brain was racing.
"I don't have a nose,
No fingers, no toes;
It's hard to tell which way I'm facing!"
--- Eric Hinds

There was a young angler of Worthing,
Who dug up ten worms and a fur thing.
He said, "How I wish
Eleven fine fish
Would snap up these things I'm unearthing."
--- Anon

The worm 'neath the table did squirm,
And turned so that he could confirm
If the bird was still there --
To his utter despair,
The table was turned on the worm.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2804

The early bird catches the worm
By watching to see the worm squirm.
If the worm would be still,
When he sees the bird's bill,
He could save his own epiderm.
--- Warrick Elrod

Our disgust from some creatures that dwell
Under rocks can be real hard to quell.
But it does seem to me
That an apology
Is owed to the spiders as well.
--- John Miller

There once was a lady horse-rider,
Who carelessly swallowed a spider;
Chased it down with an apple,
Then started to grapple,
With the spider in cider inside her.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

My blood is not pure, no indeed;
One half of it's Finnish, half Swede,
With an eight-legged pet,
A brown spiderette,
Who only comes out for to feed.
--- Anneli Blomqvist

Is fear of arachnids endemic?
Liz yells and becomes quite bulemic.
If one's on the wall,
She lets out a squall!
Extinction becomes quite systemic.
--- Archie

New Guinea has giant ones too!
The size of a dinner plate, true.
The eat up small birds,
To nasty for words,
You kill with a shovel, please do!
--- Archie

There was a black widow named Bridgette,
Whose mate was a smaller sized midget.
After courting a bunch,
She ate him for lunch.
Now she's bored and inclined thus to fidget.
--- Marilee TP9806

I once saw a hairy great spider
Fall into a pint jug of cider.
Greedy Gert snatched the jug;
Drank the lot - glug, glug, glug.
Now the spider's residing inside her.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

In her weird Rastafarian mood,
The spider then braided her brood.
Their legs were all tangled,
And some were quite mangled.
Now she's going to use them for food.
--- Marlene Lewis

Arachnid, the ultimate worst!
Don't you hate the sound when they burst?
The sound of that crunch
Makes me lose my lunch.
The spiders claim they were here first.
--- Marlene

Hey Spider! I'll give you an hint:
You crawl here and you'll do a stint,
Flushed down my toilet!
Thought my broom would foil it --
It turned out to just be some lint.
--- Marlene Lewis

Now don't shout that spiders be banned,
Watching two courting spiders is grand.
In corners of rooms,
They spin their fine looms,
While walking around hand in hand in hand.....
--- Tiddy Ogg

I tried making deals with my spiders;
If I am inside, they're outsiders.
They have the basement,
No window casement;
At no time may spiders be biters.
--- Marlene

If spiders sneak upstairs on me,
I do not invite them for tea.
I shriek at them first,
And then do the worst
By spraying them with DDT.
--- Marlene

There's one thing I like spiders for;
I tolerate them on my floor.
I find that their ways
Make pleasanter days,
By eating up roaches and more.
--- Liam na Beag

Environments hopelessly screwed,
But my spiders genes are all skewed!
I warned them before;
They're asking for more;
I can employ methods more crude.
--- Marlene

I can just whack them with a shoe;
I've been known to squash one or two.
The sound that it makes
Will give me the shakes,
And I don't like cleaning up the goo.
--- Marlene

They should stay away from my space;
Go somewhere and build their own place.
I've no sympathy
For things that scare me;
They are an unnatural race.
--- Marlene

I understand the spiders aim;
The spiders are looking for fame.
The darn little varlets
All want to be Charlottes,
But Wilbur is just not my name!
--- Marlene

Suggesting such things, you deserve
To have someone throw you a curve.
I hope spiders do
Take bites out of you,
'Til you're too sore to be a perv!
--- Anon

I have lots of 'em here, shiny black
That I don't care to find in my sack.
I could gather a few
And send them to you,
And I won't ever ask for them back ...
--- Anon

This morning I found near my door,
That spider of Miss Muffet lore.
Now she needn't worry
To hurry and scurry --
I now have evened the score.
--- Travis Brasell

Well now, I thought that the spider
Hadn't merely been trying to fight her.
He saw cute Miss Muffet
And wanted to stuff it;
But he just couldn't get it insider her?
--- Travis Brasell

"Mark my words, this sight's a delight,"
Said the Scots Missionary, McKnight.
"Under my microscope
Here, you can see, I hope
That wee insect, the 'Poor Widow's Mite'."
--- Loren C Fitzhugh P9809

Don't stand there, to shiver amd shake;
Grab the spider and then you can take
The legs off, then placin'
The rest in a basin,
And use for raisins in fruit cake.
--- Tiddy Ogg

Like scorpions, limericks tend
To deny any plans to offend,
But then stab their prey
In a devilish way
With the stinger they hide at the end.
--- Norm Storer P9407

A charming and sensitive spider
Had long grieved that Love was denied her.
There came a young male
Who was sweet, but small-scale;
So she ate him, and that satisfied her.
--- Beelzebub

This is file mdk

A spider I know is quite bright;
He has wisdom and wit and insight.
There's no one who's shrewder;
He has a computer
And soon he will have a web site.
--- Al Willis

There was a young lady called Ida,
Whose vagina was home to a spider.
Men proud of their size
Would open their flies,
And the spider inside her said "Wider".
--- Anon

Vampie, a black-widow spider,
Took a bite of a lady named Eider.
The poor woman was bit
Right on her LEFT tit,
While she sat on her porch drinking cider.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9305

These spiders are freaking me out!
The way that they sneak roundabout.
My livingroom floor,
Is becoming a store,
When I spot them I give them a clout.
--- Anon

They spin their way down from the ceiling;
They don't make me feel much like squealing.
I like the small thugs
They eat other bugs,
And give me a most secure feeling.
--- Anon

If your spiders all want to move here,
They are welcome to live free and clear.
Even the big guys,
They eat the most big flies,
The arachnids live here without fear.
--- Anon

If they've not sufficient renown
I do have a few that are brown.
Although harder to find
Than the black widow kind,
Their bite can still lead you to frown.
--- Anon

There once was a woman named Ida
Who sat down beside a big spider.
The spider crept nearer,
But Ida didn't hear her...
Now the spider's a little bit wider.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1

If that spider upon you does crawl,
I'll crush it during love's thralls.
It will make quite a mess
On your body, not dress;
You'd rather it was still on the wall?
--- Tiddy Ogg

A young macho spider named Paul
Imagined himself ten feet tall.
At friends warnings he sneezed;
Said he'd do as he pleased.
Now he's just a stain on the wall.
--- William D Robinson

I wander 'round naked at night
To give all the spiders a fright --
I think it's their turn.
Perhaps they will learn
That they should stay out of my sight.
--- Marlene

An old lady swallowed a spider.
As you know, it wriggled inside her.
Did she then eat a bird?
No, that choice she deferred,
And trusted instead to strong cider.

(parody of children's song 'I know an old lady who...')
--- Anon

So on a gallon of scrumpy she's dining;
The danger is not quite divining.
Her problem was solved,
The spider dissolved,
But, alas, so did her stomach lining.
--- Anon

Tarantulas here can be found,
A type that lives under the ground.
They're skittish and hairy
And just a bit scary;
In Texas such critters abound.
--- Anon

You all should be thankful for spiders.
Let me inform you outsiders:
There's a lot to be gained
If your spiders are trained
To bring to you wine, cheese, and ciders.
--- Nikita

The Trombiculadae, known as chiggers,
Were once thought to be diligent diggers.
The saliva in the bite
Of the juvenal mite,
Is despised for the itch that it triggers.
--- Jilbur

I'm making a study of snails.
Those thing that leave slimy greet trails.
They've survived through the ages
Against odds so outrageous,
I want to know what that entails.
--- June Sullivan P8405

They are pokey and slow, in extreme.
Mosey aimlessly 'round, it would seem.
But that tidy shell pack
That is perched on their back
Is a mobile home. What a neat scheme!
--- June Sullivan P8405

They've unusual habits when mating.
How do they find gender when dating?
Well, the snails seem to know.
It can't figure it though.
Have you ever tried under-a-house copulating.
--- June Sullivan P8405

I admire their capabilities so.
Each snail knows where each part should go.
I think that's terrific,
And while not scientific,
Try doing it balanced on one toe.
--- June Sullivan P8405

The ammonites swam in the sea
Around four hundred million B.C.
Till their elegant shells
Settled under the swells;
Now their fossilized mollusc debris.
--- David Morin

A clever young boy from South Wales
Once trained him an army of snails.
Cardiff, in time,
Killed off all the slime
By soaking the streets in cheap ales.
--- H Welchel

Slimy molluscs leave a smear,
As they slither wide and near.
But what's most disturbin'
And keep's me a worryin',
Is they'll take a bath in your beer.
--- Jim Weaver Collection

There once was a clam from Nantucket,
Who found himself caught in a bucket.
No one finger salute,
For this bivalve so cute,
So he hauled off and just said, "Oh Fuck it!"
--- Steven A Shaw

In times of stress and commotion,
The conch moves with curious motion.
Not your typical creep,
It moves with a leap
In it's only display of emotion.
--- J Caldiera

Conchs in a large algal bed
Eat all that they can, it is said.
But they're not color blind
'Cause they selectively find
Algae that's brown and/or red.
--- J Caldiera

Seaweed must drive conchs neurotic,
For they start life by living upon it.
But a strange twist of fate,
They become the substrate
For flora. They're epibiotic.
--- J Caldiera

There once was a conch from Belize,
Who led a short life of ease.
In a turtle grass bed,
All day he just fed,
And he did whatever he'd please.
--- J Caldiera

A lobster that's spiney, can tell
The locale of a conch by its smell.
The shell it will crunch
And have it for lunch,
Eating it on the half-shell.
--- J Caldiera

They live in an intimate cloister;
Their bodies can't be any moister.
They eat what blows by.
They cum with a sigh,
'Cause they'll never kiss, they're an oyster.
--- Anon

With an "S" stencilled on it by Margo,
And sent long ago by Wells Fargo,
The package of snails
Took an "age" to reach Wales.
(It needs patience to wait for "S"-cargo.)
--- Peter Wilkins

The shellfish, enjoyed without haste,
Is slippery and with flavor laced.
Compared to the oyster,
I'm sure Kaylin's moister,
And hasn't a shell 'neath her waist.
--- Frank

I'm glad I'm not a clam
Instead of what I am;
He lies in bed
Without a spread,
And no one gives a damn.
--- Lims Unlimited

A slug with a hunger for speed,
Soon succumbed to his passionate greed.
He considered it fun
To be shot from a gun,
Till his head from his body was freed.
--- Ryan Waldron


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