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When young, he developed the knack There once was a man from St. Paul, There once was a fellow in Crete Young Michael from Sligo was glum. An anemic young lady from Gwyn You won't find the village of Katlas The figure of lovely Miss Farrow An amorous girl from Champagne, "I'm fit as a fiddle", said Pat. A skinny young frauline from Berlin, As after a meal I shove in, A cowboy can put away grub There once was a young man named Jim An unfit young lady called Jude, His sister named Lucy O'Finner, A zaftig young lady, Lorraine, Moaned a very strange man from King's Lynn, In a hospital bed lies poor Jim, Then comes this wise guy named McAdam, It's true that she has some dyslexia, There once was a old man from Dean There was a man from Armenia There was a young lady of Pinner, There was an old fellow of Clewer, If your body has just gone to seed (Eat right, exercise, die anyway - McW)
A dieting lass named Flynn, If your workload is making you grim, A sneaky young lady of Lynn, After winter, I looked like a whale, A particular fellow named Slatter I know a young girl called Virginia, There's too, Alexandro Scarlatti, You could call the fellow a winner-- So narrow the hip line of Dani, There was a young fellow named Last, There was a young fellow named Slatter Miss Rogers had gotten so thin I've lost about 65 pounds A wicked old fellow named Jones There once was a maiden from Lynn, There was a young maid from Bezique, Now I like 'em thin as a rail, Young April was very upset; A wiry young athlete named Jim My Gym-work is doing the trick; Skinny Alice, a toothpick, (don't laugh); Her room-mate's advice she did shrug; A supple young lady named Quinn Pretty Mary was so very fat There was a young man of Kings Lynn There once was a girl so skinny, A new era now, Eric he faces; There was a young maid from Beloit, There was an old man of Berlin A lot of what's thought of as TONY A boy called J Piecemeal Legrange, To settle your keen curiosity, There was a young lady named Green, If you're flabby where once you were trim, There was a young lady so thin, There was a young lady named Minna A seven-foot fellow named Gwynn A seven-foot fellow named Gwynn A seven-foot fellow named Gwynn A seven-foot fellow named Gwynn There was once a model named Lynn,
Of getting a crick in his back.
Despite the advice
To use heat or ice,
Instead he stretched out on the rack.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
Who moaned about being so tall.
At night in his bed
Was his body and head.
His feet had to sleep in the hall.
--- Floyd Tatton
Whose head was too far from his feet.
When the end with his head
Was asleep in his bed,
The other was out in the street.
--- Limber Limericks
He was fat and unfit. Said his Mum,
"Here's a bike and a diet."
Fat Mike said, "I'll try it!"
And he pedaled ten pounds off his bum!
--- Chris Jackson
Was so unbelievably thin,
That whenever I tried
To walk by her side,
I didn't know where to begin.
--- Lims Unlimited
In even a very large atlas.
Though its men-folk are horny,
The girls are so scrawny,
Their rear-ends remain always patless.
--- Isaac Asimov
Resembles not willow but yarrow.
'Twould be rather a fraud
If you called her a broad,
For she goes with her beaux like a narrow. (an arrow?)
--- G0327
Took on a young husband to train.
Her joy knew no bounds,
Though she lost several pounds,
For his hungers were just as profane.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"Now I've lost 50 kilos of fat."
"So I see", I said spreading
Her out on the bedding,
And smoothing her perfectly flat.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was really frustratingly thin.
She was nothing but hide,
So just had an outside,
With no place to put anything in.
--- Pierce Evans
A fancy desert of pure sin,
They all say I'll pay,
But so far, thin I stay --
Much to my co-diners chagrin!
--- Sue Johnson
As though he were built like a tub,
But he's thin as a rail
As he rides down the trail,
And the cook is the one they call "Chub."
--- Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes
Who was exceedingly slim,
That when he turned sideways
(Without any hideways)
You could see no sign of him.
--- Henry Mucha
Was constantly in a bad mood.
But for reasons of Health
Which is better than wealth,
She now cycles and watches her food!
--- Mrs Maura Brennan
Grew constantly thinner and thinner,
The reason was plain,
She slept out in the rain,
And never was allowed any dinner.
--- Lewis Carroll
Whose surplus weight drove her insane,
Cut out breakfast, lunch, dinner,
Getting thinner and thinner,
Till one night she slid down the tub drain.
--- Evelyn Bogen P9504
"How I wish that I wasn't so thin.
When I'm out on the street,
If I don't watch my feet,
I'll step on a drain and fall in!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Who is more than a little bit dim.
Since the year before last
He has been on a fast--
Now his chances are painfully slim.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Who complained to the sporting house Madam,
"It's no fun to sin
With babes so damn thin,
So fatten 'em, Madam, or pad 'em."
--- Grand Prix Lim 372
But the problem was her anorexia.
With no food taken in,
She became ultra-thin.
If she ate more, she'd be a lot sexia.
--- Al Willis
And he was considered quite lean.
He once leaned against
A redwood picket fence
And disappeared therein between.
--- Lims Unlimited
Who was not only thin, he was skenia
Than even a rail;
Why, if you and some quail
Were to screw, he could still fit betwenia.
--- Norm Storer
Who could not have been any thinner.
If she swallowed a pip,
You could follow its trip
From the outside, all the way down, in her!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Whose wife was as thin as a skewer;
Last night, sad to say,
She, at eight, "passed away,"
Through the bars of a drain om the sewer.
--- L Reed
From a life of bad habits and greed,
Don't despair, join a gym.
Eat good food. Learn to swim.
Very soon you'll be fitter indeed!
--- Claire Soper
Reduced till she went way past thin.
She's no more, I'm afraid,
For she sipped lemonade,
And slipped down through the straw and fell in.
--- Anon
Come down and work out at John's gym.
Don't end up a mess;
Get rid of the stress;
(We'll even make your notecase look slim).
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was so unbelievably thin,
That there was no knowing
Her coming or going,
And she'd never tell where she had been!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Gazed in stunned disbelief at my scale.
I dismantled the thing,
Re-adjusted the spring,
And now think myself thin as a rail.
--- Wooey Legs
Would never choose girls that were fatter.
He chose those that were thin,
For it went further in
And it lessened the chances of splatter.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2308
Whose figure is basically linear.
Her vital statistics
Resemble a dipstick's,
In fact, she just couldn't be skinnier.
--- Michael Horgan
He'd cruise round the park with Jacques Satie,
They liked statuesque girls,
Not Plump Rubinesque girls...
They fancied them skinny not fatty.
--- Anon
His diet: no lunch and no dinner.
His original weight
Was three hundred and eight,
And now he's three hundred pounds thinner.
--- Paul Lusch P9405
This is file mcm
There is no contour line to her fanny.
Her two hip lines are
Perpendicular --
A sight that is rather uncanny.
--- Irving Superior P8402
So thin that all folks were aghast.
He had width so concise
That he had to try twice
In order a shadow to cast.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2660
Who only liked girls that were fatter.
It seemed those that were thin
Were not likely to sin,
And for him they had far too much chatter.
--- Albin Chaplin
That her clothes had been all taken in.
And when last observed,
She had nothing that curved,
And was hiding behind a straight pin.
--- Alsops Foibles
Which has greatly diminished my mounds;
I once was a fatty,
But now I'm a flatty!
Hubby wants a divorce! Is this grounds?
--- Robin K Willoughby P8402
Would ring people up on their phones,
And suggest with a grin:
"Let us take off our skin,
And converse on our phones in our bones."
--- Cyber Geezer
Who was so exceedingly thin,
When she swallowed the pit
Of an olive -- "Oh Shit,"
Said her boyfriend -- "She's pregnant again."
--- Ed Potts P8507a
Exceedingly skinny and weak;
But her face turned quite red,
When her friend one day said,
"What you need is a real good physique."
--- Anon
'Cause whenever I insert my nail,
As I carefully hump,
I can feel every bump
In their spine, where it leads to their tail.
--- Anon
Over her size she did fret.
Incredibly slender,
She'd snap if you'd bend her;
Ran about in the shower to get wet.
--- Jayne
Always runs very hard, full of vim,
Not to mention the vigor,
But his poor little figure
Is so terribly thin 'round the rim.
--- Dick Hedger
I'm healthy and feel in good nick.
I shed no more tears
'Cause after ten years,
I've sighted the end of my dick!
--- SFA Q
Had a neck kind of like a giraffe;
In the bath tub she splashed,
Feeling quite unabashed;
Of her fate, didn't know even half!
--- Allen Wolverton
Should have got out 'fore pulling the plug;
Oh, my word! Oh, my soul!
Now she's slipped down the hole!
Poor old Alice has gone (gurgle, glug!)
--- Anon
Was so indescribably thin,
That she slid on the floor
And under the door,
Both when she went out and came in.
--- Alsops Foibles
That she seldom went outside her flat.
Then friends got her prancing
With diet and dancing,
Now she's slim, trim, and married to Pat!
--- Mrs F Scott
Who was so exceedingly thin,
That when he essayed
Making love to a maid,
He slipped on the mat and fell in!
--- Peggy Miles
She wore a size 5 bikini.
In one smaller and newer,
She slipped into the sewer
In St. Paul and came up in New Guinea.
--- Maxine Spitzler P9404
Toward middle-life crisis he races.
But he might find his waist
(In its narrow case),
With his broad mind, swapping places.
--- Friar T9801
So willowy, thin, and adroit,
That with sinuous ease,
She was able to squeeze
Through a napkin ring, doughnut, or quoit.
--- Lims Unlimited
Whose form was uncommonly thin;
Till once by mistake,
He was baked in a cake.
"Tit for Tat!", said the rabbit (with grin).
--- Edwardian Leer 044 P9306
Is just a bit pile of baloney.
Like it's a great sin
Not to be quite thin,
But to me, those girls are just bony.
--- Norm Brust
Was so painfully thin, it was strange.
When he got to his door,
He just lay on the floor
And slipped underneath, for a change.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
My metabolism has a velocity,
That allows me to wear,
A small size without care --
Some think this an unjust atrocity.
--- Sue Johnson
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat, and compressed,
That her back touched her chest,
And sideways, she couldn't be seen.
--- Anon
You don't need an elaborate gym.
Eat foods that go crunch;
Take a walk after lunch.
That's the road back to vigor and vim.
--- Rita Normanly
That she closely resembled a pin.
Don't think that I'd creep
To the window and peep.
I was told by a friend who looked in.
--- G Burgess
Whose boyfriend took her out for dinner.
She said she's concealing
What she's really feeling,
Which was not to get fat, but get thinner.
--- Arthur Pattaffy
Was quite excruciatingly thin.
He weighed only six stones,
So when walking, his bones
Could be heard rattling round in his skin.
--- Lims for Erudite P0302
Was quite excruciatingly thin.
He weighed thirteen hundred ounces,
So his bones when he bounces,
Can be heard rattling round in his skin.
--- Arthur Deex P0302
Was quite excruciatingly thin.
He weighed two point six slugs,
So his bones when he shrugs,
Can be heard rattling round in his skin.
--- Arthur Deex P0302
Was quite excruciatingly thin.
He weighed point oh two tons,
So his bones when he runs,
Can be heard rattling round in his skin.
--- Arthur Deex P0302
Who yearned to be exceedingly thin.
Diet pills that she took
Gave her a new look;
Now her widest part is her grin.
--- Edwin J Weinstein
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