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Gentlemen, say hi to Tina Girls, no need to fight over me "Go on then, and laugh at my bird! "Now that's great!" "Have a taste of my clit, Ericka, my travelling lass, A helpful young lad he's become; Now here is a thought on your twins: Something quite odd, I did see; Face to face with him, I wanna meet. What Mandy will do for a brandy, "Twin boys!" said the doctor with glee; The fisherman's job kept him o'er Their nicknames were Towards and Away Their mother was lonely and blue, "A huge coelacanth, in the night, The mom cried "My other! O.K.?!" My first was a virgin called Marie, Are Christopher Robin and Alice To her Mama, a chippy in Keyes Once two brothers were born; Because mom was real poor, you see; Well, a glorious day did arrive; They decided to meet in the mall, I feel this depression -- post partum; You were asking for girlies, dear sir. To your mast we could cling to in storms, When twins get their teeth they are bitey, A West Virginian lady from Odd, There once was this derelict, see, I'm looking, some trouble to brew, A gorgeous young woman from Chester On top of Maude's spread-legged thighs From out of this romp in the hay, The moral's not hard to discern: There once was a woman named Roxy, There once was a young girl named Lynn A mother gave birth to a crowd! A foolish young goon named McMinns Identical twins in black dress -- Admit it's my lover; it is- When I photographed Miki and Moto, The vicar said, "Twins! Not again! A woman had three sets of twins, "Twins again," the vicar did state. A woman from sweet Donegal A newspaper in Dallas relates. I recall a hot lass of Key West A girl with a twin sister, Bea, When asked why he's married to twins, A Siamese twin named Carruther "Togetherness happiness wins, Said a Siamese Twin , "Don't you see, I once met a boy in a bubble; Miranda and Jane Eloise One Siamese mathematician, Are Siamese twins very coy? Said a Siamese twin named Jake, The dual trunked girls Siamese There once were some twins Siamese, A young man so brainy, named Dwight, Pushme-pullyou went out on the shag; I boffed both Marie and Louise, A conjoined pair SIAMESE, An attached Siamese twin from St. Paul, The Siamese twins, three girls date, An odd sight to see on the street I knew these two twins, Siamese,
And her equally lovely twin Wina.
I'd like to announce
That they both like to pounce
On a sufficiently large enough weiner.
--- Anon
There's plenty for all, you'll see
I'll suck and I'll lick
You'll both feel my dick;
Your screams will be loud as can be!
--- Anon
You'll see what you're missing. When stirred,
It does quite obtrude -
And, see? It's tattoo'd -
Says: Tidwell J. Cummings, the Third."
--- Anon
And our Jane here is trying to fit
Your huge shiny pecker
In her hole. While you whack'er,
Licking me, you can fondle my tit..."
--- Anon
I've left the twins; I'm chasing ass.
But they are not alone,
There is help left at home --
Damien, baby sitter with class!
--- Anon
Quite fond of the twins, that's our son
And our daughter most dear.
He said, "Never fear."
He sounds so much better than some.
--- Anon
Never add to the heap of your sins,
By bringing them here
To the North hemisphere,
Or your Deasil becomes Widdershins.
--- Ulla
Someone who looked just like me.
His glasses, and hair,
And the beer-gut, I swear,
Two peas in a pod, we could be.
--- Peter Wilkins
Maybe next time we pass in the street,
Could he be my double?
Same face, including stubble,
I wonder if his name is also Pete?
--- Peter Wilkins
Is ring up her twin sister Sandy,
For a lickety-split
Doubling of clit,
And quadrupling of tit that's just dandy.
--- Anon
The fisherman's wife paid his fee,
And bade him good night,
And loved her sons right,
And raised them up down by the sea.
--- Anon
The seas, far away from home's door.
The twins often stood
As still as dead wood --
One facing the sea; one, the shore.
--- Anon
'Cause that's how they stood day by day.
And when they were ten,
They turned fisher-men,
And seldom at home did they stay.
--- Anon
But one day, a moment to rue,
Dad sailed in the fiord
With sons not on board,
And cried, "Towards is dead! This is true!"
--- Anon
Attacked us, attracted by light.
The twins were on deck.
This monster from Heck,
Jumped up and ate Towards in one bite!"
--- Anon
The fisherman said, "What a day!
We caught that first fish,
But Jesus, I wish
You'd seen the one that got Away!"
--- Anon
Delightful and as innocent as can be.
And a teaser of cocks;
But I soon got my rocks
With her and twin sister Danni.
--- Anon
Incestuous twins? Well, the callous
On Alice's snatch
Indisputably match-
Es the callous on Christopher's phallus.
--- Peter Wilkins
Said, "I'll take all the lays that I please!"
Then to pay for her sins,
She had interlocked twins,
And Man, did those bastards squeeze!
--- Grand Prix Lim 969
Identical twins it was sworn.
Their mother enthralled
Named them Juan & Amal,
And this is where Mom starts to mourn.
--- Anon
Couldn't really afford family;
So she gave them away,
And to God she did pray
That one day she'd find them, was her plea.
--- Anon
It turns out her boys are alive!
Separated at adoption,
They'd never the option
To see the mom they'd been deprived.
--- Anon
But then the mom started to bawl!
For only Juan came,
Oh what a shame.
But if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
--- Anon
I've twins and I have to outsmart 'em;
I loathe them -- what if
They fell off a cliff?
It wouldn't take much just to start 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 729
We were wondering, did it occur
To you, that with us
You'd have double fun, thus
For stiff members, too, twice the care!
--- Anon
Our abilities are beyond norms!
If the sea rages high
We shall grip with our thigh
And 'gainst cold, got a sip that will warm!
--- Anon
And toys will make both of them fighty.
So I keep them locked up;
In the attic they sup.
They're quiet and so pale and so whitey.
--- Anon
Who had a magnificent bod,
Said: "Look here, Mister,
I have a twin sister.
We're alike as two peas in pod."
--- William K Alsop Jr
Claimed he was a double of me.
I know I'm unique,
So this guy I seek.
I just don't know how it can be.
--- Anon
But can't seem to find him, boo hoo.
Cocking a rheumy eye,
I can hear you reply,
"Let's 's see, are 'e double you?"
--- Anon
Remarked to the man who possessed her,
"You think I'm Bernice,
Your regular piece,
Whereas, I'm her twin sister, Esther."
--- Alsops Foibles
The village's prime lecher lies;
It started with flirting
But now he's inserting
His dingus clear up to her eyes.
--- Armand Singer
Come twinlets to enter the fray;
His wife will divorce him,
And Maude promptly will force him
To fork over most of his pay.
--- Armand Singer
This is file mbm
Unless you have money to burn,
Don't unzip your pants
For instant romance --
Those Clinton types just never learn.
--- Armand Singer
Who lived in the south of Biloxi;
An unusual twin,
She was ugly as sin,
While her sister was gorgeous and foxy.
--- Anon
Who was fighting with her sister, Gwynn.
She said, very smugly,
"I think that you're ugly,"
Forgetting that she was a twin.
--- Ron Sartain
Quadruplets, of which she is proud!
Bottle and diaper,
Makes a Mom hyper;
Multiply that, four crying out loud!
--- Observer
One day tried to satisfy twins...
"It's a damn hopeless job,
Cried the goon with a sob,
"When one quits, then the other begins."
--- Grand Prix Lim 23
Said one to the other, "Confess!
You've been fooling about
With my lover, no doubt,
For the stains on your dress are a mess!
--- Peter Wilkins
n't your man; he just dribbles and fizz-
es; but mine, you old bag,
Is a hell of a shag;
When he comes, he squirts gallons of jizz.
--- Peter Wilkins
Identical twins in Kyoto,
Some hocus or pocus
Was wrong with the focus,
For they showed up as one in the photo.
--- Lims Unlimited
Do you always have twins, Mrs. Penn?"
"Oh no, lots of times
When Raplh rings my chimes
We get nothing at all....Oh amen!!"
--- Anon
A God-sent subject for lims.
Such utility;
No added fertility.
One wonders just how she begins.
--- Tony Burrell
"You really should incorporate
A little control
Over hubby's tadpole;
This set brings the total to eight!
--- Anon
Had triplets almost each fall.
She was asked how and wherefore?
Said: "Sure, that's what we're here for,
But betimes we got nothing at all."
--- Linda Marsh Coll
That some premature triplets named Bates,
Moved into new quarters.
So said the reporters:
"The were weary of being womb-mates!"
--- Observer
Who did all that she wanted, with zest,
And when progeny came,
That remarkable dame
Had quadruplets, i.e. two abreast.
--- Keith MacMillan A035B
Said: "She's so extremely like me,
That when people ask,
It's quite a hard task
To recall which is me and which she."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Gig wiggles his ears and just grins.
The question that vexes
Is, when the guy sexes,
With which one of the twins he begins.
--- Grand Prix Lim 617
Said, "For me, there'll not be another.
Though I'm not condemnin'
The world's pretty women,
In truth, I'm attached to my brother!"
--- Observer
For that's where a family begins --
By being together
In all kinds of weather."
A quote from the Siamese twins.
--- Irving Superior P0800
Sister dear, how embarrassed we'll be
When I'm married and you
Have a much better view,
Than either my husband or me".
--- Anon
He said there was really no trouble
Gaining sexual bliss,
Since his pretty twin sis
Was conjoined at the hip; fun was double.
--- Brian Belge
Are twins, of the type Siamese.
Professional whores,
They take men in fours;
Two heads and two tails, if you please.
--- Tiddy Ogg
To the other, during coition:
"That's not Euclidean,
That's MY clit he's in;
You've fucked yourself cross-eyed again!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I wonder if both heads pant joy,
Of if one chews gum,
While waiting to come,
Or uses the old "headache" ploy.
--- Chris Papa
To the judge, "Aw, give me a break!
My glasses were smudged,
I simply misjudged,
And shot my brother by mistake!"
--- Observer
Will share their hip-down expertise,
And offer the chance
To him who would dance
The most legal of bigamies.
--- Daniel Ford
Quite proficient at chopping down trees;
With a two-bladed axe,
They would alternate whacks
And fell giant redwoods with ease.
--- Rowdy Jack
Wed the Siamese twin on the right.
To satisfy his whims,
He had choice of quims.
They had a menage a trois every night.
--- Thomas M Patton P9712 a
Pullyou-Pushme behind had to lag.
Said, "There's nothing much worse
Than being pulled in reverse;
This Siamese Twin thing's a drag"
--- Anon
Who it happens are twins -- Siamese!
'Twasn't much of a stunt
'Cause they share the same cunt,
Which made it all go like a breeze.
--- Anon
Decided each other to tease.
And with morals loose,
Decided to goose,
Or shared pair of buttocks to squeeze.
--- Chris Papa
Was banging his sister last fall.
"Now that we've grown up",
He said with his bone up,
"It's not a bad life after all."
--- Anon
But not that they're insatiate.
They found that two
Was one too few.
They need the third to orchestrate.
--- Irving Superior P8711a
Were twins Siamese, joined at the feet.
When seen toe to toe,
Those who didn't know,
Thought their fighting was quite indiscrete.
--- Gearhart
Who were subtley linked at the knees,
Till the other day
Emma flew away,
Sent airborne by Martha's great sneeze.
--- Gearhart
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