There once was a fellow named Stokes
Who hid things with fogs and with smokes.
But then our young man
Taking hold of his fan,
Cleared the air with a couple of strokes.
--- Literary Group

Said a very nice chap 'though Viet Cong,
Since our area's infinitely long,
It's likely that you'd
Be inclined to conclude
That it's infinitely big, but you're wrong.
--- Anon

A fair maid from North Minnesota
Was drawing a steep assymptota.
When it got way too high,
She murmured bye-bye,
And mourned not a single iota.
--- Anon

There once was a doctor named Suli,
Whose lectures were always unruly.
His straight evolution
Of the general solution,
Has nothing to do with Bernouilli!
--- Kieth Gordon

Said a ship-shape fellow from the Congo,
"Since our area's infinitely long-o,
It's likely that you'd
Be inclined to conclude
That it's infinite; but you'd be wrong-o.
--- Anon

A hardworking lady from Brackley
Spent a day working out Pi exactly.
But that night at half ten,
She was found by a friend,
With her brain all fried up and gone crackly.
--- Philip Valentine

A mathmo with sudden propiety
Felt he lived all his life much to quietly.
But he found out too late
Though he can differentiate,
He can't integrate into society.
--- James Cobb

A young man named Kenny Mackenzie
Had trouble computing ln z.
He breezed through the r-part,
With the slickness of pop-art,
But the theta-part gave him a frenzy.
--- Anon

If n in a Taylor series
Goes 2 to 11 by threes,
For x = 1,
Convergence is done
'Twixt zero and two, I believe.
--- Eric Struckoff

Said a technique freak named Zeke,
"If you think sine-saving is chic,
And you want to save
Yourself from the grave,
Try cos and tan and sec."
--- Anon

A professor of math at Dundee
Said, "If I were to pee in the sea,
The expression I'd take
For the difference I'd make
Is (dh by dv) delta v."
--- B H Jarvis

A darling named sweet Clemintine,
Said, "First sine, then cos, then sine;
And the minus and plus
Make everything wuss.
Can it not make up its mind?"
--- Anon

Diff-ing x to the x is fun.
Change the n to n-1,
Then go back to n
And use it again,
In front of it all, and you're done.
--- Anon

There's a general rul for all this,
(In case we have a pop quiz):
N steps down two ways
For the rest of its days,
And x remains right where it is.
--- Anon

"Than receive, it is better to give."
Also, "Live, live, and let live."
These are words to clutch
But not quite as much
As "velocity equals deriv."
--- Anon

There once was a man from Lapeze,
Who spent his life solving d.e.'s.
"They're easy", he said,
"But partials I dread,
I break out in spots and I wheeze!"

(d.e.'s - differential equations)
--- Anon

There once was a number named i,
Whose beloved was moniker'd pi.
From atop their friend e,
And drinking green tea,
They twisted each term that came nigh!

(e to the pi ith = -1)
--- Andrew Yeats

A man I once knew was a tutor,
Who got himself into a stupor.
When d.e.'s were found
With errors unbound,
He put his fist through his computer.

(d.e.'s - differential equations)
--- Anon

An exam my poor friend had to write,
In a subject that gave him a fright.
So he snorted a line,
To cut down sleep time.
And his math he did study all night.
--- Anon

My asking produced a "Don't do it!
I went into the test and I blew it.
My high did abate
At the word 'integrate'.
And I soon realized that I knew shit."
--- Anon

These guys are as busy as beavers.
They've got the Monday morning fever.
They just grow, grow, and grow.
They're never zero,
And they don't remain one for long, either.
--- Anon

God! Calculus! Pascal! This stuff
For me is proving too tough.
I'll drop out of U
And opt for a screw --
Fuck my teachers -- they've screwed me enough!
--- Nik Synytskyy

There's no need to respond with ferocity
If you've asked to find group velocity.
Take the derivative in k
Of omega -- hooray!
At k-average, you'll find that monstrosity.
--- Andrew Yeats

A student from Pembroke once said,
"I'll take my mathmatics to bed.
My girl isn't willing,
But still I want thrilling,
I'll integrate, quietly, instead."
--- Andrew Stoker

A function was feeling inferior;
Its life monotonically drearier,
Till at length with a yell
It jumped straight into L
And converged to the limit superior.
--- Leo Mosher

How can these equations reduce?
Must they live on bananas and juice?
Can equations non-linear
Aspire to be skinnier?
The solution might be of some use.

(Non-linear difference equation without chaos)
--- Literary Group

Don't forget, those curves might cross,
In which case you should take time to pause,
So you don't subtract
When add's where it's at.
'Twould be a lamentable loss.

(Area between curves)
--- Anon

Mr Leibniz would often proclaim,
"Indiscernibles must be the same;
The components of all
Are extentless. I call
These things 'monads'. And God is to blame."
--- Anon

If you think that your paper is vacuous,
Use the first-order functional calculus.
It then becomes logic,
And, as if by magic,
The obvious is hailed as miraculous.
--- via Rex Allen

"The calculus! Plain as can be!"
Isaac Newton complained, "Can't they see
That though Leibnitz's clients
Claim he founded the science,
The hun really stole it from me?"
--- A N Wilkins P8506

A mathmo with sudden propriety
Feels he's lived all his life much too quietly.
But he finds much too late
Though he can differentiate,
He can't integrate into society.
--- Anon

"Extremize f," said the text.
I at once (partial f/partial x)'ed.
I zeroed that, sighed,
(partial f/partial y)'ed,
But solving the two had me vexed.
--- David Morin et al

To see how an economy grows,
With cycles whose cause no one knows?
Our speaker has news
Of delay Diff EQ's,
And he'll tell us with math, not with prose.
--- Literary Group

This is file mbl

We can plot and plot 'til we plotz,
But we've got to plot the right spots,
Or those lows and those highs
Could elude us like flies;
Likewise the flips and the flops.
--- Anon

If your thesis is utterly vacuous,
Use first-order predicate calculus.
With sufficient formality,
The sheerest banality
Will be hailed by the critics: "Miraculous!"
--- Henry Kautz

A man had a certain evasion,
For solving differential equations.
He used random numbers,
To cover his blunders,
And the answers caused quite a sensation.
--- Anon

Rinky, dinky, dinky,
G provides the link-y.
But the x and the f
Are not to be left,
Unless you run out of ink-y.
--- Anon

A strapping young woman named Evvie
Was handed a solid of rev-vy,
And asked for the volume.
She answered, quite solemn,
"It's not very big, but it's heavy."
--- Anon

Oh pity the poor lonely guy;
His ex ran away with his y.
Then z came along
But then done him wrong.
Then his one-and-only turned bi.
--- Anon

Than receive, 'tis better to give.
Also, live, live, and let live.
These are words to clutch
But not quite as much
As velocity equal deriv.
--- Anon

"Who needs calculus, Click?" ranted Clack.
"Differentials are gears at the back,
And a limit's a speed
That you cannot exceed;
So what use is this calculus track?"
--- Prof M-G

Answered Click, "Knowing calculus, Clack,
Helped them optimize speed of attack
And direction of hit,
As they skewered your skit
By bombarding your web site with flack!"
--- Prof M-G

There's a general rule for all this,
And it's something you don't want to miss.
N moves up and down
Without making a sound,
And x stays right where it is.
--- Anon

Wrote the tiresome Pierre de Fermat:
"I've proved a great wonder. Hurrah!
The proof written large in
This very small margin,
'S too long, so omitted. Ta-ta!"
--- James Albert Lindon P9507

A challenge for many long ages
Had baffled the savants and sages.
Yet at last came the light:
Seems old Fermat was right --
To the margin add 200 pages.
--- Paul Chernoff A

Rational, modular, cohomologically,
Wiles and Taylor prove they are the same.
Modular, rational, nonarchimedian
Methods now justify Fermat's old claim.

--- Anon

The proof of the claim of Fermat,
Is truly a marvelous tract.
Did Pierre tease us all
'Cause the margin was small,
Or his writing was much much too fat.
--- Barry Mazur

With a little ingenious phrasing,
The proof's detail is not quite as dazing.
It's enough just to dream
Of a finite flat scheme,
And to say that the proof is amazing.
--- Alf van der Poorten

No higher power can ever be,
The sum of two of like degree.
That shouldn't be too hard to see.

--- Joseph Shaya A

We take an elliptic curve E,
And consider the points killed by 3;
This "rho" must be modular,
And by facts which are popular,
The proof of Fermat comes for free.
--- Jeremy Teitelbaum

A mathematician named Wiles
Overcame the severest of trials.
He, amidst great eclat
Proved "Theoreme de Fermat"
And provoked a succession of smiles.
--- Geoffrey A Kendall

Fermat's Last Theorem beguiles.
It appeares to be suited to styles
Of diligent toilers
Like Gausses and Eulers,
So it yielded to Andrew J. Wiles.
--- Cyber Geezer

The time has come, Fermat opined,
To talk of many things;
Of GL_2 and flat group schemes,
And local Heche rings,
And which ideals are Eisenstein,

And Wiles's wild flings.
--- Joe Silverman

Sir Wiles wrote home to his mama
And said, "I've improved Taniyama."
His mother replied,
"I am filled with such pride...
And to think, I once changed your pajama."
--- Johathan Matte

Said Wiles, "I know it's for real;
I've proven this theorem with zeal."
His doubters then said,
"You're out of your head...
You've just reinvented the Weil."

(somebody please explain - McW)
--- Jonathan Matte

With an integer greater than two,
It's something one simply can't do.
If this margin were fat,
I'd show you all that;
But it's not, so the proof is on you!
--- Ted Munger

A mathematician named Wiles
Had papers stacked in large piles,
Since he saw a clue
He could show Fermat True,
Mixing many mathematical styles.
--- Jonathan Harvey

He labored in search of the light,
To find the cricial insight.
Young Andrew, it seems,
Had childhood dreams
To prove Mr. Fermat was right.
--- Jonathan Harvey

He studied for seven long years,
Expending much blood, sweat, and tears.
After showing the proof,
A skeptic said "Poof!
There's a hole here," raising deep fears.
--- Jonathan Harvey

This shattered Mr. Wiles's belief;
His ship was wrecked on a reef.
Then a quick switcheroo
Came out of the blue,
Providing his mind much relief.
--- Jonathan Harvey

Mr Wiles had been under the gun,
But the obstacles blocking Proof One
Fixed a much older way
From an earlier day,
And now Wiles has his place in the sun.
--- Jonathan Harvey

Fermat said the proof was too large
To fit in the right or left marge.
True, back on the paper
Or proof made to taper,
Might help, but he said, "I'm in charge!"
--- Marion Cohen

Now Wiles didn't mind paper waste.
In fact, it was true to his taste
To use up whole reams
To live up to his dreams,
And he crossed out instead of erased.
--- Marion Cohen

Fermat was all snickers and smiles
As he smugly stayed clear of the aisle,
And he thought, "They'll be glum
But the proof will succumb,
Though it's going to take quite awhile."
--- Marion Cohen

"My butter, garcon, is writ large in!"
A diner was heard to be chargin'.
"I had to write there,"
Exclaimed waiter Pierre,
"I couldn't find room in the margarine."
--- Everett Howe et al P0201

A mathematician named Wiles
Came up with a proof for the files.
He stretched Fermat's margin
And managed to barge in
Where others lay felled on their trials.
--- Matt Perriens

A mathematician named Pierre
Thought "I wonder if someone will care
If I say there's a proof
And then somewhat aloof,
Admit I can't fit it in there."
--- Jonathan Matte