MORE
I once knew these twins Siamese Another Siamese twin set The final group of twins I dated some twins, one named Dinah, From the sideshow a fellow named Joe, Another set of twins that I knew Siamese Twins, how do they pee? And what about when they do mate? Those original twins, Eng and Chang, To do it with them might be nice; There once were two Siamese twins (widdershins - left-handed or counter-clockwise)
Was your birth when your poor papa snapped, As a beauty I'm not a great star, There once was a man named Clagg, There was a queer fellow of Perth A handsome young fellow named Glover Two floozies performing dumb skits: Consider now plain Jason Brown, Does she have a zit on her nose? There was an old lady of Vista, There once was a big block called Blocker I awakened at the crack of Dawn; Upstairs to the bedroom she led; Inside, she removed her false tits; "I'm ready; come in now!" she said; "But where is the rest of you, Miss?" There was a young couple named Newsome, An unfortunate fellow named Greg, A lovely young girl is Lenore, so The light flashes and there's a hum. There was a young lady named Rose, It is said a young man full of grog, There's a slovenly slattern from Natchez Said a boy called Emmanuel Bellow, The Pig lies in blankets of roses, "My face hurts," I started to cuss. There was an old lady named Clarke, "Don't mind if her looks are quite dire," No one says to me, "Babe, let's get snuggly," A wonderful cook is young Betty, Last night I went out on a date; Remarkably, she could be famous I've got some bad news for you, Beth; I have bad news for you, my dear. It's true that I pack quite a fright; I tell you, sir, you don't know Jack She wanted to be his main squeeze. When I saw Patsy first from the cab, As ugly as you ever saw; Her tits were beyond all compare; I enjoyed all her feminine graces. Doggie style, sans light, paper bag; Her teeth are like corn too long cooking; A scenery painter from Spain, A homely old woman named Jane There was a young lady named Jen To curtail the sex life of the fly, Eccentric; a tiny bit dotty Her father's a billionaire; Many women have gone just like this I remember that night in the sty, There was a young woman named Cholmondley (rubicund - inclining to redness)
Cosmetically, Lill of Kilquade, A pretty young lass from Kilquane Remember my girlfriend; the bag I said, "Thank you, but no thank you, mate;
Who were always quite easy to please.
For I have two cocks
And quadruple rocks;
They said I was just the bee's knees.
--- Ogni Gioia
Liked to play hard to get.
They were joined at the hips
And had two sets of lips
But no man's come between the two yet.
--- Gearhart
Always brings me grins.
When one is full,
The others hole
Can always fit me in!
--- Gearhart
The other was called Evelina.
Conjoined at the clit,
They cared not a whit;
'Twas up to you, either vagina.
--- Ogni Gioia
Dated Siamese twins, Dot and Flo.
"Anything to relate?
Did you have a good date?"
He replied with a shrug, "Yes and No!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P8711 a
Died from the Hong Kong flu.
They were joined back to back,
And their ass had no crack.
They filled up with shit and then blew.
--- Gearhart
Standing up? Sitting down? You tell me!
And when one has to shit,
Does the other do it?
They must have a two-holer or three.
--- Cheryl T9712
When one's bonking, the other must wait?
What's he do? Read a book?
Or does he sneak a look?
Or do it in tandem, duplicate?
--- Cheryl T9712
Although they were Thai, still did bang
Away at the dames;
Got kids to their names,
And praises of gang bangs they sang.
--- Jeanie
A girl could get off on them twice.
From one to the other,
Just brother to brother,
Seems to me to be redundant vice.
--- Jeanie
Who, though plural, had singular sins.
One preferred buggery,
The other, skullduggery,
Which involved fucking both "widdershins!"
--- L1648
As your ma wept and begged to be slapped.
Said the doc, "Never heard
Of a similar turd,
Like the one that this woman has crapped."
--- Anon
There are others more handsome by far.
But my face, I don't mind it,
Because I'm behind it,
'Tis the folks in the front that I jar.
--- Anthony Euwer
Who fell in love with a hag.
When someone ask why,
He looked at his fly,
Said "It's better than being a fag."
--- Sam Morrison
Whose antics romantic caused mirth;
For he only disported
With young ladies distorted,
With unfortunate defects from birth.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0742
An ugly old hag did discover.
Though this girl was a horror
He did love and adore her --
He did not judge a book by its cover.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2594
Elizabeth's broad where she sits;
She's ugly as sin
From her hair to her chin,
And Kathryn ain't got any tits.
--- Anon
So homely that each store in town,
When he comes into view,
What do their cameras do?
Automatically, they just shut down.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0512Q
The hair on her chin always grows.
Her chest is quite flat,
(You already knew that)
No worse that the mold on her toes.
--- Pilar
Who vowed that no man ever kissed her.
But her chin and her nose,
Grew together so close--
That if anyone tried, he'd have missed her.
--- Anon
Who rooted a girl with big knockers.
When his mates saw the dragon
That he had been shaggin',
They said, "Blocker, your chocking a shocker!"
--- Andy Oz
Turned over and saw this Dawn yawn.
What was I thinking;
I have to quit drinking.
She's so ugly, I'll go mow the lawn!
--- Travis Brasell
Please wait till I'm ready," she said,
With a wink and a smile.
So he waited awhile
And imagined her giving him head.
--- Peter Wilkins
Took her teeth out and then came the blitz.
On the bed in the nude,
She went wild and unscrewed
All her fake and replaceable bits.
--- Peter Wilkins
So he did and went straight to the bed.
"But where are you," he cried;
Pulled the duvet aside
To find what was left was her head.
--- Peter Wilkins
"On the floor," said the head with a hiss.
"Though unscrewing is fine,
I find screwing divine;
Here's the screwdriver. Screw me! It's bliss.
--- Peter Wilkins
Who looked like a well-balanced twosome.
They were peas in a pod,
But the thing that was odd
Was that each thought the other was gruesome.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2729
His head was the shape of an egg;
His hiney was bumpy,
His face was all lumpy,
His dick was a square little peg.
--- Cap'n Bean P0309
Exquisite her thighs and her torso;
At least from the back
For alas and alack,
She's a face like a horse, only more so.
--- Anon
They poor copy-maker is glum.
He came to this place
To copy his face --
The copies look just like his bum.
--- Marlene Lewis
Who's visage is hard to suppose,
And the fact that her hair,
Is not even there,
Is as plain as the face on her nose.
--- Margaret A Murdock P8303
Once decided he fancied a snog.
At the end of the night,
In the bright morning light,
He discovered the girl was a dog.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And she wears filthy rags full of patches;
You may think me too picky,
But her nose sports a hickey,
Plus her hair's falling out in big batches.
--- Armand E Singer
This is file mam
"Our teacher's the weirdest old fellow.
He's bald as an egg,
And he's got a peg-leg,
And his teeth are half gone and half yellow.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
For the good of my friends and their noses.
If the covers were doffed,
Then her odor would waft,
Making ill, like her hideous poses.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
I'll admit I caused quite a fuss.
My brother, so kind,
Said, "We are not blind,
Imagine how much it hurts us!"
--- Anon
Who didn't look bad in the dark.
In the first mists of dawn,
She looked haggard and wan.
In the full light of day, she looked -- stark!
--- John Ciardi
Said my dad, and he is no liar.
"Just grab at this handle:
Don't look at the mantle-
Piece when you are stoking the fire.
--- Tiddy Ogg
When they take a look at my mug. "Lea-
ve me be!" they all yell;
My life is pure hell
'Cause I suffer from terminal Ugly.
--- Robin K Willoughby P8512
Preparing delicious spaghetti
And chicken Madras.
I could go for the lass
If she didn't resemble a yeti.
--- Peter Wilkins
The picture they showed me looked great.
The portrait they showed
Was not of the toad
I ended up with, through my fate.
--- Gearhart
For looking so horribly heinous.
You want to see
What she looked like to me?
Bend over and look at Uranus.
--- Gearhart
I've spent all last night taking Meth...
Then lost all my money,
So anything funny
Is likely to scare me to death.
--- SFA
If all funny thing you do fear,
Don't try to be brave,
When next you must shave;
Avoid looking into the mirror.
--- Karen
Some gal ran-off screaming last night.
Then wearing a frown,
I slowly looked down
And found that my pants were too tight.
--- SFA
Or you'd know what made her jaw slack.
She was quite dismayed
'Cause your pants displayed
A bulge, but it was in the back!
--- Karen
She went as far as to ask, "Please?"
He said, "There's no way,
You're too ugly today.
Tomorrow you'll look like green cheese."
--- Marlene
She appeared nothing other than drab;
But the distance deceived,
For I quickly perceived
That close up, she look like a crab.
--- Beelzebub TP9802
An odor that sticks in your craw;
Short, fat and dumpy,
All hairy and lumpy --
I still love my mother-in-law.
--- John Miller
Soft and fragrant, her brown pubic hair.
In fact she was sweet
Right down to her feet,
But her face was a real nightmare.
--- Mike Perry
We did it in all sorts of places.
You'll miss out on a lot
Of mighty fine twat,
If you go through this life fucking faces.
--- Mike Perry
My eyes shut tight while we shag.
In fear of a glance
Sure to offend my lance,
And replace my groan with a gag.
--- Mike Perry
Big nose fit for overnight booking;
She may look like Rover,
But when she bends over,
She really ain't all that bad looking.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
While painting the Spanish terrain,
As he wandered around,
He surprisingly found
That the rain mainly fell on the plain.
--- Cap'n Bean
Was hired by a farmer in Spain
To stand in his field,
When research revealed
That rain mainly falls on the plain.
--- Cyber Geezer
Who thought she was a perfect ten.
I told her with tact,
She needs to subtract,
A seven and figure again.
--- Eric Perlin
Is the work of the smart, ugly Miss Fry.
She said, "Sex in Mankind
Is the same, I've opined,
But males, the MAN kind, pass me by."
--- Grand Prix Lim 775
And physiognomically spotty;
Her face like a bag
Of old spanners, the hag
Is, however, desirable totty.
--- Peter Wilkins
She'll inherit it all, I declare.
But she'll give it away
For a roll in the hay,
She's so desperate to have an affair.
--- Peter Wilkins
In order to obtain that great bliss.
A cucumber's too narrow
So they move onto a marrow,
And their hole, well let's call it "abyss"
--- Anon
And the whack on your ass so you'd cry.
But which end to strike?
Both ends look alike!
"She's the road-apple of daddy's eye."
--- Anon
Who mused to herself rather glumly,
"Were it not for my squint
And my rubicund tint,
I might be considered quite comely."
--- Anon
Had beauty that never would fade.
When tanned by the sun,
She looked twenty-one,
But she seemed fifty-six in the shade.
--- Anon
While walking, was caught in the rain.
She ran -- almost flew.
Her complexion did too!
And she reached home exceedingly plain.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
That I sold to old Mustapha Shag
In exchange for a dozen
Old camels? His cousin
Has gone and returned the old slag.
--- Anon
For I much prefer camels to date.
Though they're smelly and grumpy,
They're better for rumpy
And pumpy, I have to relate."
--- Anon
MORE