MORE
Bart has a singular penis, My wife is called Corrie; her life Said old Mr. Wellington Koo, A unisex man who got wed In the ancient old town of Kinsale, Husbands just like to be told, A junior school teacher once said, I surely appreciate this: In Vancouver, a new married pair, Now Brenda is married to Dan; Handsome woman. Lovely Bust. Cried a bride as she came the first time: There once was a man from Kowloon "If newlyweds come," said Miss Dove, Sighed the bride in their nuptial bower, Just who are these newlyweds Sighed a newlywed damsel of Wheeling, An exhausted young bride of Shawinigan Said the bride at the church, young Miss Rousseau, There once was a sensitive bride, A just-married husband named Ted An eager young damsel named Fay Some cheap newlyweds honeymooned, "That's too fucking wide," said the bride; A young British woman named June "In the honeymoon suite, we'll have wine. Said the newly-weds staying near Kitely, O, pity young maidservant Proctor! From their bed a spent bridegroom descended, On the night of the wedding, young Fred A timid young girl from Mirboo, A weary-worn groom, Mickey Finnigan A bridegroom confused was young Lozon; It was while we were still honeymooning; When he woke with a pain in his head Did you hear of the musical bride, The bride, pinioned down in Room Ten, A nervous young bridegroom named Moore The bedsprings next door bounce and creak; It's a ghastly unpleasant sensation When the first day you're right at your peak, When the boss' fat daughter he wed A newlywed couple named Bright Since Pat has got married to Pete A newlywed couple from Goshen, There was an old roue named Clyde, There was a young gent from Peoria, A guy and his girl left at noon At his wedding, a bridegroom named Crusoe, In the coffin they dressed her in white, An innocent bride from the Mission, The boy told the girl, "Spread 'em wide, With his new bride he'll quickly convene The night of his wedding, a groom On their wedding night Rosie told Joe, On their wedding night Sue went to bed, At Wing Loo's restaurant by the road, A dignified fellow named Cliff, Wedding night, when his head turns to hash! There was an old woman named Ray A newly-wed husband named Bynum, In Clymer an unhappy bride The bride and the groom name of Heather On the bed lay young Ned and his bride "We'll have to slow down a bit, Mister," A newlywed pair was incited
For his wife who is built like a Venus.
He awoke with a fright,
Last Saturday night,
"Hey, something is coming between us!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Is all balm, for our love knows no strife.
She's green streaks on her breast,
On her knees and her chest --
Varigated's the spice of my wife.
--- Jester Jon
"Now what in the Hell shall I do?
My wife is too hot,
I can't fill up her slot --"
So he screwed her to bits trying to.
--- L1188
To a unisex woman, soon said,
"We have come to the end
Of this curious trend,
And find duosex better in bed."
--- Paul Jennings
Where there's lashin's of beer and of ale,
Where each man despite strife,
Lives with his own wife.
If you've heard something else - it's a tale!
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Those grey pubes don't mean that your old!
Go service the car,
And unscrew my jar,
And warm me at night when it's cold!
--- Anon
"One day I hope to be wed."
Said Tommy, aged ten:
"With oil short again,
'Twill be warmer with two in the bed".
--- Sister D O'Brien
Your humor has not gone amiss.
Regina won't see,
Know what's good for me,
To languish in sweet wedded bliss.
--- Anon
Settled down in their S&M lair.
Decor was a snap,
With the whips, chains, and flaps,
But the drapes were a bit of a bear.
--- Tim Autobiographical
She thinks he's a marvellous man:
Midst nappies and dishes,
Whenever he wishes,
He fucks her with verve and elan.
--- Michael Horgan
Fine young fellow. Stirred-up lust.
Babies' diapers.
Bottom wipers.
Years of struggle. Coffin. Dust.
--- G Legman G0030
"How can you contain so much slime?
I'm not really a prude,
And I'm glad I've been screwed--
I find all but the slime is sublime!"
--- G1601
Whose dick swelled up like a balloon.
His bride was deceived
Until she perceived
The balloon collapsed way, way too soon.
--- Mick Tully TP9804
"I give them the room just above.
When they do their lovemaking
I can hear the bed shaking,
Like it used to when I was in love."
--- G0056
"I expected that you would deflower
Me hotly at once,
But you haven't, you dunce!
Up to now it's been nearly an hour!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 872
Who blissfully have clouds in their heads,
Big grins on their faces,
In their eyes more than traces,
While rose petals cover their bed.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"A honeymoon seems so appealing.
But for nearly two weeks
I've heard only bed squeaks,
And seen nothing but cracks in the ceiling!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 66 G0224
Was so pooped she just couldn't begin again,
Yet couldn't restrain
Her insatiable swain
Who continued out-in-out and in again.
--- Keith MacMillan 40a
I'm afraid I must take off my trousseau.
For this itch is provoking --
It needs licking or poking.
It would please me no end, if you'd do so."
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0316
Who ran when the groom was espied.
When she looked at his swiver,
They had to revive her,
But when he got it in, she just sighed.
--- L1719
Drank too many toasts when he wed;
He promised his wife
The night of her life,
But soon fell asleep on the bed.
--- Armand E Singer 916
Went too far on her honeymoon day.
Her husband resigned
And most rudely declined
Her requested fifth instant replay.
--- Isaac Asimov
On small desert island, MAROONED,
"There's no champagne here,
But cases of beer,
And chance to get sex life fine-tuned."
--- Chris Papa
"I'll never fit that up inside."
"But dearest, when 'head'
I suggested instead,
I did not mean like that," he replied.
--- Peter Wilkins
Was busy on her honeymoon.
She had sex every night,
Six times more in daylight,
But stopped for tea each afternoon.
--- Warrick Elrod
We'll loosen our clothes and recline.
Our blood will run hot,
And we'll be hot to trot,
And then they will meet, yours and mine."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
"We turn out the electric light nightly.
It's best to embark
Upon sex in the dark,
The look of the thing's so unsightly."
--- Anon G0105
Her wedding night horribly shocked her.
It wasn't her hubby
That made her grow tubby,
'Twas her master's "jus prima" that "nocta".
--- John E Mayhood P9912
To duty he'd ceaselessly tended.
"If you aren't bred by now,
You're an infertile cow,"
He growled harshly, keeled over, life ended.
--- Esther Koch P0010
Told his bride, before getting to bed,
To please take a cold shower
For at least half an hour,
Then to lie on the bed as if dead.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2876a
To a tame goose could never say boo.
On her honeymoon night,
She cried out in fright
When her husband said, "Let me in, Sue!"
--- Robust Ribald Rude P9703
Heard his bride hotly moan, "Put it in again,
And give me more jazz, Mick,
I'm milti-orgasmic,
As soon as we're through, let's begin again."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9407a
His bride he just could not impose on.
For she said it was lewd
To be viewed in the nude,
And she climbed into bed with her clothes on.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0239
This is file lwl
I was ready for very fine tuning.
I would show her the ropes...
The squeezes and gropes...
When I got to the bed she was mooning.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And found someone else in his bed
With her legs opened wide,
It wasn't his bride,
But her toothless old mother instead.
--- Michael Horgan
Who said to the groom at her side,
"I never could quite
Believe till tonight,
Our two instruments would coincide."
--- Anon G0022
Sent out for a meal, now and then.
Said she, "Sex is sweet,
But I still have to eat;
Will you slide off a minute, please, Ben?"
--- Grand Prix Lim 514 G0200
Told his bride, "Dear, I know that it's sore.
But don't scream when we do it--
Please put your mind to it--
The neighbors are all keeping score."
--- Grand Prix Lim 630 G0134
They have kept me awake for a week.
Why do newlyweds
Select squeaky beds
To develop their fucking technique.
--- Grand Prix Lim 738 G0047
To be stripped for the Big Consummation,
Then try for one hour
To work up manpower
And end with NO cohabitation...
--- Grand Prix Lim 878
You'll find seven days making one weak...
So it's wise to stop hopping
While still potent and popping,
And use what you've abused, just to leak.
--- Grand Prix Lim 853
And reluctantly took her to bed.
She said, "Sweetheart, I think
You've had too much to drink."
"No, not nearly enough, dear," he said.
--- William N Nesbit P9606 a
Got through the reception all right.
They retired to the rest room
And they found that the best room,
And so never got further that night.
--- Albin Chaplin
Their happiness should be complete,
But he's not been right
Since their honeymoon night,
Which they spent in the Nutcracker Suite.
--- Michael Horgan
Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.
In twenty-eight days,
They got laid eighty ways.
Imagine such fucking devotion.
--- L0305
Who took an eighteen year old as a bride.
The took the old lecher
Out on a stretcher;
As he left, he was smiling with pride.
--- Popsicle TP9807
Who's girlfriend was named simply Gloria.
He caused her to tarry,
So him she would marry,
They honeymoon now in Korea.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
To go off on a long honeymoon.
Twelve-fifteen and he said,
"Let's just stop here for bed."
She smiled: "Not a moment too soon!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Was embarrassed to find his prick grew so.
His eager young bride,
Pulled him quickly astride,
And was screwed while still wearing her trousseau.
--- Isaac Asimov
The dress worn on her wedding night.
She was caught by surprise
By her new hubby's size...
It is said that she died of sheer fright.
--- Bob Birch P9806
Remarked, on her first night's coition:
"What an intimate section
To use for connection,
And Lord! what a silly position!"
--- Anon G0133
And pretend that you are my new bride."
They played hide-the-weenie
Till it got so teeny,
There was no more weenie to hide.
--- David Miller
And take scarcely no rest in between.
When he finally stops
With exhaustion he plops.
She'll find that her new groom sleeps keen.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9005
Was humping his way to the womb.
Then betwixt her knees,
She'd let out a sneeze
Which blew him right out of the room.
--- SFA
"I believe there's something you should know.
I've screwed sixty men,
Our pooch now and then,
And the cop on the beat down below..."
--- Grand Prix Lim 669 G0625
Spread 'em wide and then giggled and said,
"Before we were married,
Your advances I parried,
But tonight, Dear, we'll pump till it's dead!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 339
Fortune cookie notes, troubles have sowed.
On a wedding night dinner,
The groom got a winner:
"Small stick cannot carry great load!"
--- Allen Wolverton
Got into a hell of a tiff,
With his eager young wife
In their newlywed life,
When only his manner proved stiff.
--- Isaac Asimov
Eager groom to the bedstead will dash;
See, a new bride will call:
"My ashes! Please haul!"
But a wife just says "Take out the trash!"
--- Anon
Who leaped into bed every day;
It wasn't for sleep
Or for counting black sheep,
But to teach her new husband to play.
--- Alsops Foibles
Asked his bride to please sixty-nine him.
When she shook her head,
He sighed and then said,
"Well, if we can't lick 'em, let's join 'em."
--- G0832
After ten days in bed sadly cried,
"There's simply no knowing
How Joe can keep going...
Man, I'm sure taking him for a ride!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 269
Did note a quick change in the weather.
Since the weather looked surly,
They planned to leave early,
So that they could get their things together.
--- Albin Chaplin
And he patted her belly and sighed,
"I'd be giddy with glee
Were that spot under me,
But it's too drained to dunk if I tried.
--- Grand Prix Lim 583
She said as her new husband kissed her.
"I love it all right,
But twelve times a night,
Is starting a conjugal blister."
--- Anon
At tactics of airlines shortsighted.
Their honeymoon flight
Was canceled outright,
For they wanted to travel United.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0212
MORE