She said on our honeymoon night,
As we lay holding each other tight,
"I'm not sure I see
What you see in me,
But I love how you use your flashlight."
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A Frenchman by name of Le Beaume
Was married to a sad English bloom.
On his wedding night he
Asked his bride whether she
Wished to fuck -- or preferred to play Doom.
--- Jorna

This cause dear young Bess some concern,
For she did not wish to be stern.
She then paused and she sighed,
And she thought and replied,
"I do not know which way I should turn."
--- Albin Chaplin

A very old fellow from Reading
At long last was blessed with a wedding.
But shocked his new bride
Who lay alongside:
He wetted his half of the bedding.
--- Armand E Singer 676

Two innocents, bridegroom and bride,
Were lying in bed side by side.
Cried the bride in depair,
"Oh what belongs where?
And how can this knot be untied?"
--- Laurence Perrine P8604

The bride, on her honeymoon night,
Was ill from her groom's trothful plight;
She'd heard his "I do,"
Now he's off with Sue,
Her sister, at Motel Delight.
--- Travis Brasell

In the nude, looking sweet, fresh, and dewy,
A lissome young bride said in Bowie,
"I wore out that goon
On our done honeymoon,
So come in, Peter, and Louie."
--- Grand Prix Lim 250

There was a young lady called Annie
Her dream is to become a 'Mammy'.
Her husband, poor thing,
Was forgot with her ring;
The one on her hand, not her fanny.
--- Anon

Yes, believe it or not, she was married,
But by all the young men she was harried.
Our story's hero
Was a fella named Nero,
As off to her room she was carried.
--- Anon

The moon it was shining fair bright
As she gave him a kiss of delight.
To her delection
He got an erection;
It lasted them all through the night.
--- Anon

The following morning your Anny
Was awakened by sounds of a 'Tranny',
A bloke in her bed,
An ache in her head,
Her thighs, and her back and her fanny.
--- Anon

On the bed they have placed the young maid;
Around her bright daisies they've laid.
The maid dreams to flee
Her husband to be,
Who's dashing and makes her afraid.
--- Azul

They met for the first time today,
At the church 'fore the altar to say
Their own marriage vows
And she did it somehow,
Though her body did tremble and sway.
--- Azul

So now she awaits her new lord
And prays for a special reward:
That he's gentle and kind
Will come love her with time,
Once she's impaled on his sword.
--- Azul

The maids joined the bride in her dash
To ride with the groom in his Nash.
As they rode dignified,
The groom fucked the bride,
And the bridesmaids were caught in the splash.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0103

The maids joined the bride in her dash
To ride with the groom in his Nash.
As they rode to the ferry
The bridegroom made Mary,
And Joy, Rosie, Grace, and Miss Cash.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-0104

The wedding day went off, just right;
Alas, though, the honeymoon flight
Delayed by one day,
Meant that they had to stay,
With bride Bonnie's family that night.
--- Tiddy Ogg

I'll show you some tricks now," said Clyde,
Undressing his blushing new bride.
And he showed how the load
From a choad would explode,
In the orifice nature supplied.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Oh Clyde dear, I'm all in a lather,"
She said, "But I truly would rather
A dong that is stronger
And long as a conger,
The same as my brother and father."
--- Tiddy Ogg

She sat up and then got to her feet.
"Don't worry, I'll give you a treat.
I'll call down the hall;
Sis Paula will crawl
In and give you a pussy to eat."
--- Tiddy Ogg

"But now I'm off, over the fence,
To go hang around by the 'Gents.'
My work I'll not shirk;
A jerk of the dirk
Will pay for this do -- that's plain sense."
--- Tiddy Ogg

A moral in what you have read?
Well, Bonnie's got none, as I said.
For a life without strife
That is rife, keep your wife
On a chain linking kitchen and bed.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Please wait in the bathroom", said Flo
To her eager young bridegroom, "Although
We're now married, you must
Give me time to adjust;
I'll undress if you promise to go."
--- Peter Wilkins

An hour or so later, she said
To him, "Darling, I'm ready in bed."
But the groom was outside,
With no thought for his bride,
For the bridesmaid was giving him head.
--- Peter Wilkins

Now they boarded their train at Port Flume,
The Conductor then left from their room.
They undressed; they were nude,
In a flash they had screwed,
They were newly-wed bride and the groom.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then the train, it climbed up from the coast,
And they fucked as they ate their French toast.
"We don't mind all that butter,
For it greases his putter,
Making slipping and sliding the most!"
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then the jounce of the train on the track,
Made her want to be screwed in the sack.
So she pulled him inside,
Of her quivering hide,
And they came to the clickety-clack.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

And the coal was then scooped to the fire-box,
But the train had to slow for a hot-box.
So she started to pout,
"Don't you dare pull it out,
While I'm hauling your ash in my love-box!"
--- Eric Newberry P0301

And the roll of the train through Mount Dickin,
Made the cunt of his new wife then quicken.
He was heard to denote,
As he lapped at her boat,
"Smells like fish but it's tasty as chicken!"
--- Eric Newberry P0301

And the sway of the train through Mount York,
Sent her squirming to suck on his dork.
And she said with a grin,
As she licked off her chin,
"Smells like fish but its flavor is pork!"
--- Eric Newberry P0301

And the rock of the train through Mount Falls,
Made them screw through the hours without pause.
They had shucked, they had bucked,
They had sucked, they had fucked,
Which had greatly depleted his balls.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

So they ran from their room to get food,
As they rolled through the town of New Lewd.
And they raced by the Porter,
And then called out their order,
"Spanish Fly over oysters; served stewed!"
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then they dined in the car through Mount Lone,
While she kept her left hand on his bone.
As she ate with her right,
She kept squeezing him tight,
So he had to suppress all his moans.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

This is file lvl

They continued to dine through Mount High,
While he kept his right hand 'twixt her thighs.
As he ate with his left,
He kept rubbing her cleft,
So she had to keep stifling her sighs.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then they ran to regain their roomette,
On the way, the poor Port' they upset.
But so anxious were they,
To resume their sex play,
They did not even tip him their 'grets.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Now the train, it did steam hill and dale,
Where the farmers were tying their bales.
As he plowed 'tween her loins,
He did fert'lize her groin,
Made her furrow his back with her nails.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

And the bounce of the train on the track,
Made his balls then go clickety-clack.
So intrigued by this sound,
That on him she went down,
And commenced to puff smoke from his stack.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then he licked at her muff, which was hairy,
As they sped through the town of New Berry.
"I don't mind all that fur,
This makes Pussycat purr,
And the thrusts of her loins do not tarry."
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then the train, it came down from the hills,
Sixty-nine was its speed without spills.
They assumed that position,
In a loving condition,
And they licked and they sucked for their thrills.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Then the lurch of the car in the curve,
Made their coupled hot bodies then swerve.
And their parts flew apart;
They re-coupled with heart,
And resumed all their loving with verve.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Now the train, it had slowed on the rail,
'Til it crept with the pace of a snail.
In the dark of a tunnel,
He could still poke her funnel,
For their loving was done a la Braille.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

And the rhythm of cars on the track,
Made his jism rise up in his sack.
But he kept his "cunt-roll,"
'Til they reached the depot,
Then he squirted his steam up her crack.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

They departed their train at Port Kent,
Glassy-eyed and weak-kneed and quite bent.
They had sores on their hips,
But had smiles on their lips,
For their trip had been heavenly spent.
--- Eric Newberry P0301

Of Beatrice I was quite a fan;
She married some old fancy dan.
But on her hen night,
I thought it was right
To show her who was the best man.
--- Bushmaster

That night her groom thought, "I will trick her."
So he brought in another to dick her.
And then in the dark,
When she felt love's spark,
She moaned, "It feels just like the vicar!"
--- Travis Brasell

My wife is a young Amerasian.
She adheres to the Buddhist persuasion.
Her dad is from Thailand,
Her mom from Rhode Island;
We speak the same tongue on occasion.
--- Naomi J Kahn

An old man who'd avoided divorce
Had a wife who's as big as a horse.
He kept feeding her hay
Till she finally said, "Neigh."
So he rode her each night, why of course!
--- Tom Patton P0510Q

I have my man trained very well,
And our arguments I've learned to quell,
Will art and with graces,
And soft gentle phrases
Like "Bloody Well Just Go To Hell!"
--- Michelle

On this Anniversary Golden,
We want you to know we're beholden
For those fifty years
Of friendship, my dears;
Love quickly before you start moldin'!
--- Travis Brasell

Oh hickory dickery dockery,
My wife don't take kindly to mockery.
If you take the rip,
It gives her the pip;
You'll finish up fending off crockery.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A romantic young fellow from Bethel
Was wed to a beauty named Ethel,
And he said, "I now swear
By the smog in the air,
That if anything severs us, death'll."
--- Alsops Foibles

"Oh, isn't this super eh, hon?
You fancy some frolicking fun?"
"Ooh yes; let's be naughty
To celebrate 40
Years blissfully married next Mon .. "
--- Anon

My dear, you have made my life sweeter,
For fifty great years and my peter
Remembers the fun
Before you, old hon,
Became such a gluttonous eater!
--- Travis Brasell

Grandpa delights us with tales he's got;
Grandma's sweaters we sure like a lot.
Their organ we play
Sometimes every day,
But our bowling scores aren't all that hot!
--- Dick Hull

Grandpa, you've always been a good egg --
And your martinis would fill up a keg!
So don't make a fuss;
But please do tell us
The source of that scar on your leg!
--- Dick Hull

Grandma, thanks for the PJs and cakes,
For the camping in woods and by lakes.
We say thanks a bunch
For the Easter brunch,
And for skipping the drinks Grandpa makes.
--- Dick Hull

So here on your fifty-year day,
We grandkids would just like to say:
We are quite blessed
To have the best --
Of you folks whom we honor today.
--- Dick Hull

She deals in the deepest abstraction,
While he's barely mastered subtraction.
They're like night and day,
Yet together they stay.
I just don't understand the attraction.
--- Anon

We've been married two decades today,
Which leaves me little to say.
So I'm real sorry folks,
I'm in no mood for jokes,
My ditty's no dilly, no way!
--- John Miller 0027

In the autumn when greenery's yellowing
And I go for a week without bellowing,
And the fireplace glows,
And we're toasting our toes,
My wife says I seem to be mellowing.
--- Limber Limericks

Our youthful spring growth is now stubble,
But our love is intact, not mere rubble.
The secret you see,
If you're lazy as we,
Splitting up is just far too much trouble.
--- Tiddy Ogg

The kids, born and nurtured, now grown,
Have spread their wings, moved now from home.
So we take our ease,
And do as we please,
Content to be left here alone.
--- Tiddy Ogg

And though you may think it absurd,
You'll never here hear a cross word.
That takes too much thought,
And supplies here are short.
"No, Ogg not that sort of crossword."
--- Tiddy Ogg

"Now get here and eat up your gruel,
You're really a dodd'ring old fool.
Then the floor you must clean,
To a bright sparkling sheen."
Yes dear, my precious, my jewel.
--- Tiddy Ogg

"And get off that blasted machine,
It's normally something obscene.
Disgusting foul porn,
Or humor so corn-
y." (She can be so mean!)
--- Tiddy Ogg

Now I'm quoting that Bill Blake again,
(You know that he died quite insane.)
So why do I do it?
And why do I rue it ...?
'Twas used as our wedding refrain.
--- Tiddy Ogg

A Saundersfoot student of strife,
Once sought the advice of his wife.
He asked, "Is it true
You came from a zoo."
And then he would run for his life.
--- Anon