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I must say your plan does sound loony. You think that she hasn't a clue Oh, I think that this is in error! Said a funny young fellow from Bow, There once was a fellow named Dean Thumbs are OK I suppose, Thumbs are OK I suppose, Just today I was reminiscin', There was an old woman named Rose Your toes are so cute I can't stand it -- I guess that I'm now on the spot, The foot, if thoroughly clean, A girl with a cute little nose A designer of shoes never warns My feet are beginning to fail; And now, I know just how that feels; Come here, and I'll rub them for you. To think of my feet, you are sweet, On each foot of a maid from Montrose One day at the lake with no sock, A Finn who lived in Helsinki There was an old man of the Ooze, A young matron whose named is irrelevant Consider those objects called feet. But the feet that are best, by far, And then there are metrical feet, There was a young lady from Ryde I guess I can't wait till it snows But having long toenails is great There was an old man of Montrose, You know I just looked at my feet There is a thing about feet Feet are really neat; I think that's enough on feet; Good heavens; I've looked and my toes My foot's just a measuring tool; Where the sole of the foot and shoe meet Procrustes attacked with much zest, On a ledge on a barren gray rock A Dixie gal living in Cohoes There once was an old Portuguese There was an old man of Penzance On a closer look at my feet There was a fat fellow from Bodenham My foot is just throbbing today; There was a young lady from Kew I kissed her red lips with intention While visiting Arundel Castle Now Marta has pretty small feet; I'm thankful my toes are quite short Limericks I cannot compose Did someone here mention feet? There once was a woman named Rose, I took my shoes off for a while Exhales in his hand then inhales. I can't sleep if my feet are in sight. There was an old gossip in Clyde My toes are much colder than ice While sucking your toes, my old chum, There once was a girl named Suzy, I'll dish out some rancor, my sweet; My sock has a seam at the toe. Toenails are like little trolls His condition infrequently shows, There was a young lady of Bandon, To my own, my darling Marita, A foot massage would be your treat;
Just imagine those digits all pruny?
All shriveled and shrunk,
And wine-stained and drunk,
The thought of it's making me puny.
--- Jeanie
Of the limerick things that you do?
If she's got you googley
Then things could get oogley.
For I've seen what you have been up to.
--- Cyber Wizard
Though I thank you for being a carer.
The right thread was "I'm back!"
But, I still thank you, Jack;
You know me. I was always a darer!
--- Jeanie
"I've an eye on the end of my toe.
On every bath night --
What a wonderful sight --
I can see down the plug-hole, you know.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Whose feet turned a yellowy-green.
He'd never been taught
That from childhood he ought
To have kept ten tootsies clean.
--- Emmanuel Lamprecht
But Oh, for opposable toes!
It would really be great
When you're out on a date,
And perfect for taking off clothes.
--- E Wolf
But Oh, for opposable toes!
The things we could eat
If we could use our feet!
We could munch where the coconut grows!
--- Anon
Of you, Hon, and how I was missin',
Each inch of your foot;
As my fetish put,
You in a frenzy with my kissin'.
--- Anon
With aching feet one of her woes.
She bathed in soda water
For the relief that it brought her,
But more to feel fizz 'twixt her toes.
--- Warrick Elrod
Provocative, as if you'd planned it.
They're charming and sweet,
Hence I favor bare feet.
I do not request, I demand it.
--- Heather McCabe
And it seems that you know what I've got.
You've measured my feet,
And they are petite.
'Little Things Still Mean A Lot.'
--- Al Willis
Can be a hot, sexual machine.
A toe that is sucked
Can get a guy fucked
By a gal with a foot fetish dream.
--- Frank Fazed
Was hanging up pictures in rows.
As she hammered in nails,
A fellow from Wales
Said, "I'll help you. I've got hammer-toes."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Of chic footwear that gaily adorns,
For it never fits well.
That is why they say hell
Hath no fury like a woman's corns.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9004
They're dunked in a hot-water pail,
Which is like a palace
For the giant heel callous,
But not for ingrowing toenail.
--- Archie
The aching, the drying skin peels.
But hon, that's the price,
Trying to look nice,
And wearing those four-inch high heels.
--- Carol
Say what? Now your feet have turned blue?
I'm rolling my eyes
And sighing some sighs.
You first must remove the blue shoes!
--- Carol
And sweetness in friends is a treat.
Would you be so kind?
I hope you won't mind,
I will help myself to a seat.
--- Archie
There were two extra bothersome toes;
That started some fun:
There were twelve on her son,
And her daughter had two double rows.
--- Limber Limericks
I was dangling my feet off the dock.
Then the game warden
Handcuffed me regardin'
The fact that the fish died from shock.
--- Bob Badger
Had feet that were terribly stinky.
What made his wife stay
(The neighbors all say)
Was a weakness for sex that was kinky.
--- Macsam
Whose daughters wore oversized shoes.
When the river broke out,
At the end of the drought,
They were much in demand as canoes.
--- John Blyth
Possessed toes the same size as an elephant.
Very often she'd run
Just to get her nails done...
It was not what a chap would call elegant.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
While some are exceeding petite,
And sweet, there are some
Which decidedly hum
And resemble huge platters of meat.
--- Peter Wilkins
At least to us southern boys, are
The ones we don't waste
And have a great taste,
Like pickled pigs feet in a jar.
--- Travis Brasell
That used right, will make limericks sweet.
They total thirteen
In a limerick pristine,
In oom-pah-pah oom-pah-pah beat.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Whose shoestrings were often untied,
By a gent with a fetish
Who enjoyed, pied a tete-ish,
To swallow the toe-cheese inside.
--- Anon
To clip the long nails off my toes;
My old cowboy boots
Appear to have roots
From twenty years growth, I suppose.
--- Anon
For climbing up steep hills of slate,
And scratching my back,
Or some old whore's crack;
On ice, though, it's so hard to skate.
--- Anon
Who had the most peculiar toes.
They grew to such strength,
And became such a length,
That he tied them in 'butterfly' bows.
--- Cyril Bibby P9307
And they are most incredibly neat.
10 little toes
All in two rows;
My goodness, aren't they sweet.
--- Anon
That makes us the most elite;
Animals have paws
Or maybe claws
But feet? They can't be beat!
--- Anon
You can tap them to a beat.
You can disco dance
Or electric trance;
I really do love my feet.
--- Anon
This is file lpm
The creativity is quite replete.
'Cause I have fear
By way too much beer.
But you must admit, they ARE sweet.
--- Anon
Are, like yours, arranged neatly in rows.
But I hope I'm not fated
To find we're related,
And have to keep rein on my hose.
--- Anon
I ain't making use of them, fool!
If you want to boff,
You'd better go off
And find someone who's not so cool.
--- Anon
Is an odorous bacterial sheet,
That cooks all day long,
Till the smell is quite strong.
Thank God you don't shit through your feet.
--- MrMalo
When he hacked off the feet of his guest.
As he did so he said,
"You must fit in my bed,
And your feet just do not meet the test!"
--- John C Tomlinson
Sat a pauper with only one sock.
But he wasn't distressed
Because, as you've guessed,
One foot was a short wooden block.
--- Lims Unlimited
Declared that she never had woes
Except that her sweet
Little Tennessee feet
Were narrow and had only fo' toes.
--- William K Alsop P8910
Who fell ill with some dreadful disease.
He suffered such fits
That his feet fell to bits,
But he made some new ones out of cheese.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Who wore his peg-leg to a dance.
He clumped on the toe
Of a lady from Bow,
And he ruined their budding romance.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
I've discovered they just can't be beat;
On closer inspection
They are utter perfection,
But the rest of me's quite obsolete!
--- Anon
Whose socks always had a huge load in 'em.
His weight gave him trouble;
It bent his shoes double
And forced him to walk pigeon-toed in 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 430
I wish the pain would go away.
I would go to see my
Podiatrist if I
Was not quite sure what he'd say.
--- Gearhart
Whose foot was too big for her shoe;
Her mother said, "Rose,
You have too many toes;
Come here and I'll chop off a few."
--- Limber Limericks
Of proceeding to things I won't mention.
Now who could suppose
That her pretty pink toes
Would grip onto my virile extension.
--- G0622
I sent my sick uncle a parcel.
The contents of it
Were the local grey grit
To rub on his sore metatarsal.
--- Victor Gray P9002
She's someone you're dying to meet.
When you've heard of her fame,
You'll try once again
To find out just why she's so sweet!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And are not of the long hairy sort.
They can pick up stuff.
(But that's quite enough
Of this current digit report.)
--- Marlene
With noxious smells in my nose;
But this one was easy,
I only felt queasy,
Because I was sniffing my toes.
--- Peter Wilkins P9807
Those digits that smell none too sweet.
I'm holding my nose,
Put them back in your shoes.
This warning I will not repeat!
--- Arden
Who used SPAM for painting her toes.
She liked the effect,
But her love life was wrecked.
Her tootsies offended the nose.
--- Bob Roberds
But, truly, the smell was so vile,
I got sick and retched
Until someone fetched
The oxygen tank that's mobile.
--- Anon
His face gets quite gray and then pales.
He chokes and he gasps
Then his breathing rasps,
He turns blue and then his heart fails.
--- Anon
I was told that the old devil might
Come steal all my toes,
(Why would he want those?)
If they were exposed in the night.
--- Anon
Who opened her mouth very wide,
And in it she put
Her number nine foot,
But still could talk out of the side.
--- Lims Unlimited
But in secret I practice my vice;
I bend my head south
And I open my mouth
Then I suck them like nipples; it's nice!
--- Anon
To disease you could easily succumb.
Just think how you'll feel
When you can't chew your meal,
'Cause you suffer from athlete's gum.
--- Anon
Who never could buy any shoesy.
The reason, you see,
Was simple. For she
Had three feet instead of just twosy.
--- Chickenlady
Rip your clothes off right here in the street;
Force you down on your back
Take one look at your crack;
Then I'll do it ... I'll tickle your feet!
--- Anon
I know how they are s'posed to go.
Convention I flout --
Wear mine inside out,
So they won't make toe blisters grow.
--- Marlene Lewis
Who make in my socks great big holes.
The cost is fantastic
For all the elastic
Of those holey, but not righteous, little soles.
--- Azul
But for years it's been one of his woes.
Part of his don'ts and do's
Is to always wear shoes,
Which conceal well his prehensile toes.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0208
Whose feet were too narrow to stand on;
So she stood on her head,
"For my motto," she said,
"Has always been Nil Desperandum."
--- Art Of Limerick P0411
A woman who couldn't be sweeter,
My love for your grows
From you head to you toes,
But could you sometimes wash-a you feet-a.
--- Bob Hunt a
If you let me under your feet.
My sensual toils
With warm scented oils,
Would make your dear heart skip a beat.
--- Anon
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