I must say your plan does sound loony.
Just imagine those digits all pruny?
All shriveled and shrunk,
And wine-stained and drunk,
The thought of it's making me puny.
--- Jeanie

You think that she hasn't a clue
Of the limerick things that you do?
If she's got you googley
Then things could get oogley.
For I've seen what you have been up to.
--- Cyber Wizard

Oh, I think that this is in error!
Though I thank you for being a carer.
The right thread was "I'm back!"
But, I still thank you, Jack;
You know me. I was always a darer!
--- Jeanie

Said a funny young fellow from Bow,
"I've an eye on the end of my toe.
On every bath night --
What a wonderful sight --
I can see down the plug-hole, you know.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

There once was a fellow named Dean
Whose feet turned a yellowy-green.
He'd never been taught
That from childhood he ought
To have kept ten tootsies clean.
--- Emmanuel Lamprecht

Thumbs are OK I suppose,
But Oh, for opposable toes!
It would really be great
When you're out on a date,
And perfect for taking off clothes.
--- E Wolf

Thumbs are OK I suppose,
But Oh, for opposable toes!
The things we could eat
If we could use our feet!
We could munch where the coconut grows!
--- Anon

Just today I was reminiscin',
Of you, Hon, and how I was missin',
Each inch of your foot;
As my fetish put,
You in a frenzy with my kissin'.
--- Anon

There was an old woman named Rose
With aching feet one of her woes.
She bathed in soda water
For the relief that it brought her,
But more to feel fizz 'twixt her toes.
--- Warrick Elrod

Your toes are so cute I can't stand it --
Provocative, as if you'd planned it.
They're charming and sweet,
Hence I favor bare feet.
I do not request, I demand it.
--- Heather McCabe

I guess that I'm now on the spot,
And it seems that you know what I've got.
You've measured my feet,
And they are petite.
'Little Things Still Mean A Lot.'
--- Al Willis

The foot, if thoroughly clean,
Can be a hot, sexual machine.
A toe that is sucked
Can get a guy fucked
By a gal with a foot fetish dream.
--- Frank Fazed

A girl with a cute little nose
Was hanging up pictures in rows.
As she hammered in nails,
A fellow from Wales
Said, "I'll help you. I've got hammer-toes."
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

A designer of shoes never warns
Of chic footwear that gaily adorns,
For it never fits well.
That is why they say hell
Hath no fury like a woman's corns.
--- Bob Giandomenico P9004

My feet are beginning to fail;
They're dunked in a hot-water pail,
Which is like a palace
For the giant heel callous,
But not for ingrowing toenail.
--- Archie

And now, I know just how that feels;
The aching, the drying skin peels.
But hon, that's the price,
Trying to look nice,
And wearing those four-inch high heels.
--- Carol

Come here, and I'll rub them for you.
Say what? Now your feet have turned blue?
I'm rolling my eyes
And sighing some sighs.
You first must remove the blue shoes!
--- Carol

To think of my feet, you are sweet,
And sweetness in friends is a treat.
Would you be so kind?
I hope you won't mind,
I will help myself to a seat.
--- Archie

On each foot of a maid from Montrose
There were two extra bothersome toes;
That started some fun:
There were twelve on her son,
And her daughter had two double rows.
--- Limber Limericks

One day at the lake with no sock,
I was dangling my feet off the dock.
Then the game warden
Handcuffed me regardin'
The fact that the fish died from shock.
--- Bob Badger

A Finn who lived in Helsinki
Had feet that were terribly stinky.
What made his wife stay
(The neighbors all say)
Was a weakness for sex that was kinky.
--- Macsam

There was an old man of the Ooze,
Whose daughters wore oversized shoes.
When the river broke out,
At the end of the drought,
They were much in demand as canoes.
--- John Blyth

A young matron whose named is irrelevant
Possessed toes the same size as an elephant.
Very often she'd run
Just to get her nails done...
It was not what a chap would call elegant.
--- J Maynard Kaplan

Consider those objects called feet.
While some are exceeding petite,
And sweet, there are some
Which decidedly hum
And resemble huge platters of meat.
--- Peter Wilkins

But the feet that are best, by far,
At least to us southern boys, are
The ones we don't waste
And have a great taste,
Like pickled pigs feet in a jar.
--- Travis Brasell

And then there are metrical feet,
That used right, will make limericks sweet.
They total thirteen
In a limerick pristine,
In oom-pah-pah oom-pah-pah beat.
--- Tiddy Ogg

There was a young lady from Ryde
Whose shoestrings were often untied,
By a gent with a fetish
Who enjoyed, pied a tete-ish,
To swallow the toe-cheese inside.
--- Anon

I guess I can't wait till it snows
To clip the long nails off my toes;
My old cowboy boots
Appear to have roots
From twenty years growth, I suppose.
--- Anon

But having long toenails is great
For climbing up steep hills of slate,
And scratching my back,
Or some old whore's crack;
On ice, though, it's so hard to skate.
--- Anon

There was an old man of Montrose,
Who had the most peculiar toes.
They grew to such strength,
And became such a length,
That he tied them in 'butterfly' bows.
--- Cyril Bibby P9307

You know I just looked at my feet
And they are most incredibly neat.
10 little toes
All in two rows;
My goodness, aren't they sweet.
--- Anon

There is a thing about feet
That makes us the most elite;
Animals have paws
Or maybe claws
But feet? They can't be beat!
--- Anon

Feet are really neat;
You can tap them to a beat.
You can disco dance
Or electric trance;
I really do love my feet.
--- Anon

This is file lpm

I think that's enough on feet;
The creativity is quite replete.
'Cause I have fear
By way too much beer.
But you must admit, they ARE sweet.
--- Anon

Good heavens; I've looked and my toes
Are, like yours, arranged neatly in rows.
But I hope I'm not fated
To find we're related,
And have to keep rein on my hose.
--- Anon

My foot's just a measuring tool;
I ain't making use of them, fool!
If you want to boff,
You'd better go off
And find someone who's not so cool.
--- Anon

Where the sole of the foot and shoe meet
Is an odorous bacterial sheet,
That cooks all day long,
Till the smell is quite strong.
Thank God you don't shit through your feet.
--- MrMalo

Procrustes attacked with much zest,
When he hacked off the feet of his guest.
As he did so he said,
"You must fit in my bed,
And your feet just do not meet the test!"
--- John C Tomlinson

On a ledge on a barren gray rock
Sat a pauper with only one sock.
But he wasn't distressed
Because, as you've guessed,
One foot was a short wooden block.
--- Lims Unlimited

A Dixie gal living in Cohoes
Declared that she never had woes
Except that her sweet
Little Tennessee feet
Were narrow and had only fo' toes.
--- William K Alsop P8910

There once was an old Portuguese
Who fell ill with some dreadful disease.
He suffered such fits
That his feet fell to bits,
But he made some new ones out of cheese.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

There was an old man of Penzance
Who wore his peg-leg to a dance.
He clumped on the toe
Of a lady from Bow,
And he ruined their budding romance.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada

On a closer look at my feet
I've discovered they just can't be beat;
On closer inspection
They are utter perfection,
But the rest of me's quite obsolete!
--- Anon

There was a fat fellow from Bodenham
Whose socks always had a huge load in 'em.
His weight gave him trouble;
It bent his shoes double
And forced him to walk pigeon-toed in 'em.
--- Armand E Singer 430

My foot is just throbbing today;
I wish the pain would go away.
I would go to see my
Podiatrist if I
Was not quite sure what he'd say.
--- Gearhart

There was a young lady from Kew
Whose foot was too big for her shoe;
Her mother said, "Rose,
You have too many toes;
Come here and I'll chop off a few."
--- Limber Limericks

I kissed her red lips with intention
Of proceeding to things I won't mention.
Now who could suppose
That her pretty pink toes
Would grip onto my virile extension.
--- G0622

While visiting Arundel Castle
I sent my sick uncle a parcel.
The contents of it
Were the local grey grit
To rub on his sore metatarsal.
--- Victor Gray P9002

Now Marta has pretty small feet;
She's someone you're dying to meet.
When you've heard of her fame,
You'll try once again
To find out just why she's so sweet!
--- Jim Weaver Collection

I'm thankful my toes are quite short
And are not of the long hairy sort.
They can pick up stuff.
(But that's quite enough
Of this current digit report.)
--- Marlene

Limericks I cannot compose
With noxious smells in my nose;
But this one was easy,
I only felt queasy,
Because I was sniffing my toes.
--- Peter Wilkins P9807

Did someone here mention feet?
Those digits that smell none too sweet.
I'm holding my nose,
Put them back in your shoes.
This warning I will not repeat!
--- Arden

There once was a woman named Rose,
Who used SPAM for painting her toes.
She liked the effect,
But her love life was wrecked.
Her tootsies offended the nose.
--- Bob Roberds

I took my shoes off for a while
But, truly, the smell was so vile,
I got sick and retched
Until someone fetched
The oxygen tank that's mobile.
--- Anon

Exhales in his hand then inhales.
His face gets quite gray and then pales.
He chokes and he gasps
Then his breathing rasps,
He turns blue and then his heart fails.
--- Anon

I can't sleep if my feet are in sight.
I was told that the old devil might
Come steal all my toes,
(Why would he want those?)
If they were exposed in the night.
--- Anon

There was an old gossip in Clyde
Who opened her mouth very wide,
And in it she put
Her number nine foot,
But still could talk out of the side.
--- Lims Unlimited

My toes are much colder than ice
But in secret I practice my vice;
I bend my head south
And I open my mouth
Then I suck them like nipples; it's nice!
--- Anon

While sucking your toes, my old chum,
To disease you could easily succumb.
Just think how you'll feel
When you can't chew your meal,
'Cause you suffer from athlete's gum.
--- Anon

There once was a girl named Suzy,
Who never could buy any shoesy.
The reason, you see,
Was simple. For she
Had three feet instead of just twosy.
--- Chickenlady

I'll dish out some rancor, my sweet;
Rip your clothes off right here in the street;
Force you down on your back
Take one look at your crack;
Then I'll do it ... I'll tickle your feet!
--- Anon

My sock has a seam at the toe.
I know how they are s'posed to go.
Convention I flout --
Wear mine inside out,
So they won't make toe blisters grow.
--- Marlene Lewis

Toenails are like little trolls
Who make in my socks great big holes.
The cost is fantastic
For all the elastic
Of those holey, but not righteous, little soles.
--- Azul

His condition infrequently shows,
But for years it's been one of his woes.
Part of his don'ts and do's
Is to always wear shoes,
Which conceal well his prehensile toes.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0208

There was a young lady of Bandon,
Whose feet were too narrow to stand on;
So she stood on her head,
"For my motto," she said,
"Has always been Nil Desperandum."
--- Art Of Limerick P0411

To my own, my darling Marita,
A woman who couldn't be sweeter,
My love for your grows
From you head to you toes,
But could you sometimes wash-a you feet-a.
--- Bob Hunt a

A foot massage would be your treat;
If you let me under your feet.
My sensual toils
With warm scented oils,
Would make your dear heart skip a beat.
--- Anon