MORE
I have a dear pet; he's aquatic, I'm not a great fan of the pike. There was an old lady called Sue, The piranhas are suffering from tabes, Of all the ferocious fauna, The fisherman, though a beginner, A Sunday-school teacher in Edgewood There once was a fish in a pail, There was a young fisher named Olga, REMORA make old salt see red, They resemble the sole of a Ked; REMORA, called tennis shoe head, REMORA announced with some pride, Symbiotic fish, the REMORA, There once was a naughty old salmon (gammon - talk intended to deceive)
The first time a young sardine I have no feelings for the smelt; "I hate those snail darters," I cry. Said a breeder of goldfish at Wandsworth, If there's a fillet of soul, then it's true, A sting ray named May took a notion An ophthamological surgeon A sucker fish made a big hit A goldfish who's circling frustrated Aqua, a light greenish blue, There once was a young man named Sam; A short-sighted man from Havana A goldfish whom circling frustrated, To avoid getting chased by a shark, There once was a man who liked trout; A sweet-loving fish is the Turbot; There once was a poor little hake Then a mussel, from its shell emergin', A girl lost her goldfish, named Sue. Said an eel to a fish, "It does seem "Two weeks at Bull Shoals," complained Drew From the seashore a lady of Hilo A stout fellow in Richmond, Virginia, "Each year by the thousands they're led A physics professor named Parks Of all fishes which I ever saw, If you're not afraid of the water, Jaws, a ravenous shark, Now ladies and children pleaase hark; On a honeymoon cruise, a young bride, She floundered and flounced in the water, He came where the ship was now moored; To the side of the boat came the skipper The shark, a misunderstood creature, Shark fishing is just what I do; I was making a violent commotion, All the bathers down in Miami The sharks are a frightening clan -- My neighbor, a Mrs McWhirter There was a young lady of Ryde, The shark we know can turn vicious, A lady swimmmer from Sark There once was a stately giraffe, So, to please him, the gracious giraffe "He's a dignified chap, that giraffe, There once was a woman from France There once was a giraffe who said, "What The giraffe, eating out of a tree, Jake was a real tall giraffe; The giraffe is a marvelous beast; The problem with any giraffe
And getting to be quite sclerotic.
But if he ever dies,
There'll be more than just sighs!
I just might become a neurotic!
--- TuttaGioia
I once had one I didn't like.
It burst into flames
And called me rude names,
Then it followed me home on a bike.
--- Kevin Hale Q
Who kept piranahs inside her loo.
They'd eat anyone,
Bite a hole in your bum,
And bite off your dangly bits too!
--- P Copeman
Foaming and biting like crab-ese.
Like white blood corpuscles
Flexing little white muscles,
Fighting hard but infected with rabies.
--- Anon
There's nothing like a piranha;
It's only fiat,
A catholic diet.
It eats both the native and bwana.
--- Timothy Torkildson
Saw himself as the contests new winner.
But he made a mistake
And fell into the lake;
The piranhas took home a nice dinner.
--- Richard Long
Thought all his kids were real good;
'Till they dreamed up a prank,
Pirhanas in baptismal tank;
"Whazzat? Get in?" No new member would!
--- Anon
Who fed upon minnows and ale;
He lived in an attic;
His scales were chromatic;
But he played a whole note with his tail.
--- Limber Limericks
Who angled one morning for tolga.
These fish are like kippers
With red carpet slippers,
And chiefly inhabit the Volga.
--- Langford Reed
From hook they are rapidly shed
To drift to sea bed
So crabs can be fed;
This attitude toward them's widespread.
--- Marilyn M.
Looks quite like an old tire tread.
Be they live or quite dead,
From REMORAs I've fled,
Seeking bluer waters instead.
--- Marilyn M.
A catch Texas fisherman dread
To see on their line
On a fishing day fine,
Profanity never left unsaid.
--- Marilyn M
Attached to a shark's underside,
"This big finny beast
Is a movable feast,
So I'll just go along for the ride."
--- Chris Papa
Clings to some big fish like flora,
To pick up detritus,
Not at all to bite us,
Though it does have a sinister aura.
--- Daniel Ford
Who claimed he served both God and Mammon.
But please understand,
The poor fish was canned
When he talked this nonsensical gammon.
--- Little Billie
Got a view of a big submarine,
Mamma Sardine said,
"Now don't be afraid.
That's a can full of people, you've seen."
--- Leland B Jacobs P2005
Perhaps no feelings should be felt.
I know this is a fish
That cooks to a nice dish;
I'm not sure if it's fat, flat, or svelte.
--- William K Alsop Jr
"And a minnow does not catch my eye.
These wee, tiny fish
Do not make a dish,
And I know there are big fish to fry."
--- Al Willis
"How much are the fish in my ponds worth?"
Said an expert "For fee
I will sort them and see,
For a brunette's worth more than a blonde's worth."
--- Langford Reed
That the soul has a fillet -- some clew!
Though it does seem incredible
That the soul should be edible,
I think it's convincing, don't you?
--- Limeratomy - Euwer P8708
That she needed a pretty pink lotion
To keep her skin soft,
But it kept washing off,
Cause she lived in the watery ocean.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0106
Fixed a cataract lens on a sturgeon.
Since the fish now could see,
It wasn't long before he
Swam away without any more urgin'.
--- Phred
With his mother, who told him, "Don't quit
Your job in that tank full
Of water; be thankful
You've got a good job eating shit!"
--- Travis Brasell
While guarding a female he'd mated,
Seduced twenty others
But guarding those mothers,
He died as he super-rotated!
--- Prof M-G TP9901
And aquamarine, the same hue,
Both stem, as they oughta,
From aqua from water;
The stuff that the pisces swim through.
--- Anon
In the Amazon he went and swam.
When he swam in the heat,
The fish thought him meat,
And ate him up just like a ham.
--- Anon
Confused clothing with flora and fauna;
He was heard to say "Ouch"
When a black posing pouch,
Turned out to be three small piranha.
--- Linda Marsh Coll
Had from a good school graduated.
With hopes of high rank,
In an upscale fish tank...
For a bowl he's just too educated.
--- Peter Wilkins
Buy a dogfish and teach it to bark.
Then you get it to breed.
To be sure you succeed,
Show it pictures of old Alan Clark.
--- Kevin Hale Q
That piranhas were near he did doubt.
But those mean little fish
Did indeed exist.
From the river he never got out.
--- Rory Ewins
For one, that we all know as Herbert,
Has told us the truth,
That he has a sweet tooth.
Yes Herbert the Turbot likes Sherbert.
--- Chris Woods
With whom nature had made a mistake.
She'd a face like a pike,
With a fin like a spike,
And she was the joke of the lake.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Persuaded her without much urgin',
"Now don't be coy,
Go and see that old boy,
He'll fix it, he's a plastic sturgeon."
--- Jim Weaver Collection
This is file lkk
It had gone down the plughole, she knew.
But this dear little friend
Made its way 'round the bend--
And sprang up from out of the loo.
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
Rather strange, seeing you swim upstream.
When salmon do this,
There's nothing amiss,
But you're not one of them, you're a bream!
--- Alexander Baron
"And there's one thing I wish that I knew --
Why the fish of the nation
Seem to take a vacation
The same time the fishermen do."
--- A N Wilkins P8610
Paddled out with her arms on a lilo. [?]
A triangular fin
Swam beneath with a grin...
Now she's known as the Venus de Milo.
--- Hugh Oliver A040B
Has been told he'd be better off skinnier...
He drinks fish oil like water,
And swims miles like an otter...
So he's not so amorphous, but finnier.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
To the parks," said a ranger named Fred.
"The men mostly wishing
For some days of good fishing,
While the women are hunting instead."
--- A N Wilkins P8610
Was famed for his knowledge of quarks;
He figured they might,
Connected just right,
Be used to electrocute sharks.
--- Armand E Singer 583
The "Great White" no doubt inspired the most awe.
And you never will bother
To inquire of his father,
When you've once seen the size of his maw.
--- Loren Fitzhugh P0310
After reading how "Jaws" got the daughter
Of some poor old man,
Then think less of your tan,
And more about that which you oughter.
--- Macsam
Lurked in ocean depths very dark;
Until he caught a glimmer
Of a poor hapless swimmer,
Then his razor-sharp teeth hit their mark.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306
Have no fear of the man-eating shark.
For as you will see,
A gentleman, he,
On a lady will not leave a mark.
--- Tiddy Ogg
One morning fell over the side.
A shark drifting near
Wondered what is that here,
And slowly towards her did glide.
--- Tiddy Ogg
But the shark only did what he oughter;
With his great dorsal fin,
Hooked under her chin,
He did what he could to support 'er.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She was very soon hoisted aboard.
In her joy there were tears,
And a shout of "Three cheers!"
"Hurrah!" all those passengers roared.
--- Tiddy Ogg
And bowed. The shark raised a flipper,
Knocked that man off the boat,
Right into his throat,
And swallowed him down like a kipper.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Is less a killer, more a teacher.
Not a bone in its frame;
We should not defame
Its grin in our next creature feature.
--- Megarator
I wade at the edge of the blue.
No fishing can compare
To the feeling that's there,
When the fish can also eat you.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
And the shark had detected the motion
Of someone like me,
(As you can see)
Splashing around in ITS ocean.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Wade the ocean with hands so clammy,
To the sharks just the smell
Is a shark's dinner bell.
Open jaws, start the run, then whammy!
--- Tom Patton P0110
Their forces the seven sease span;
But some sharks are selective
Or perhaps they're defective,
For on Fridays, they never eat man.
--- Albin Chaplin 3024-2496
Is certain no creature would hurt her.
Watching PBS
To risky excess,
A swim with the sharks would convert her.
--- Graham Lester
Who was carried too far by the tide.
Cried a man-eating shark,
"How's this for a lark?
I knew that the Lord would provide."
--- Blaketon Smith
And sometimes even PERNICIOUS.
But Chinese and their kin
Turn it's dorsal fin
Into a soup that's considered delicious.
--- Norm Brust
Met up with a man-eating shark.
The shark swam away
From the lady that day.
She swam safely home before dark.
--- Dick Fredeman
Whose motto was "Nothing by half!"
His old friend, the tapir,
Said, "Cut me a caper, --
It's a year since I've had a good laugh!"
--- Margaret Vandegrift
Jumped over a cow and her calf;
But when the old tapir
Told folks of this caper,
They said, "That's just more of your chaff."
--- Margaret Vandegrift
And we know he does nothing by half;
We can understand how
He might jump o'er a cow,
But he'd never jump over a calf.
--- Margaret Vandergrift
Who kept a giraffe in her pants.
His neck was so long,
It got caught in her thong
And his movements affected her stance.
--- Tillmanator
Do I want with my tea strong and hot?
For my throat's such a length,
The tea loses its strength,
And is cold ere it reaches the spot."
--- Oliver Herford
Told the animals, "Get lost, can't you see.
My feature attraction
That gets all the action:
The highballs are always on me."
--- Theo M Heller P9206 a
His neck measured a mile and a half.
He sure couldn't gloat
When he got a sore throat;
It was terribly painful to laugh.
--- Nancy Henry-Kline P9306
He is short from the West to the East.
But from North at his mouth,
To his tummy, down South.
It's a ten-minute swallow, at least.
--- Herbert B. Swope P9312
Is their neck is so long, when they quaff,
The liquid dries out
So close to the snout,
They might as well be drinking De-caff.
--- S C Saint
MORE