MORE
There's a question designed to perplex: Jerome was a silly giraffe, Giraffes, yes, even the strongest, The giraffe, said the weary Creator, If you've a long neck, I should say There once was a lady of Derwent At a zoo, squeezing balls, did Miss Snatchem, A chimpanzee liked pansies and roses There once was a Sportive Giraffe, The neuropterous insect, the alderfly, The alderfly, insect neuropterous, The Amazon jungle, they say Ametabola do not endure The ladybug, there's no denyin', An aphid, a terrible cheater, I'm an aphid; I eat all your crops. A termite enjoying a beer If under some cabinet glass (aeneous - brass-colored)
Consider the beetles of dung (Smithsonian Aug 1977, page 16)
From page one of a ten-volume book, (bookworm lied)
There was a young lady from France, A zoologist's daughter of Zug, species. (means it's a bug - McW)
Just before I was typing this lim, There once was a girl who loved bugs Lepidopterists' biceps and thighs Two butterflies hung 'round a light. A aspiring outdoorsman, Joe Gold, There once was a Monarch in May, Entomologist William P. Strugge To select this plant or the other, My very old friend, Monty Meacher, (cell phone noises supposed to repel bugs)
A caterpillar moved like a sloth A cockroach with too many eyes A cockroach who left a deposit, I've a cockroach that sings like a thrush. Scott Turner, for termites he quested; A cricket's a little black bug The people I know always blab it -- These crickets are like water drops! Crickets make very good bait That chirping and sound that they make The one in my ceiling in Tucson But my rat did eat it with bliss, A cutworm with nothing to do A fly and a moth called a pact No creature I quite so despise Once a grasshopper (food being scant) A young lady, timid and proper, A month in the season of bugs, They bug you no end and they bite; We resist with bug spray and what not; There are those who resist insect fights, There are bugs that should not be exiled, For most others I take great offense, Julie the June Bug was sad. Tonight's major battle I've won,
Why giraffes have such very long necks!
Is it mainly to see?
Or eat treetops for tea?
Or to have more room in dating, for pecks.
--- Prof M-G T9710
Who wore a disguise for a laugh.
Well, Jerome was too tall,
(Or the costume too small).
Did is cover Jerome? Only half!
--- Anon
Hang back in love's headlong conquest.
They have a motto,
Which says that they got to,
"He who giraffes last, giraffes longest.
--- Frank Davies
Is not such a klutz as the 'gator.
But his legs, when he trots,
Might get tied up in knots.
Perhaps I will shorten them later.
--- Jeanne Steig P0011
You will likely get quips every day
From people more squat,
Who've elegance (not) -
"Giraffe to just stand there that way?"
--- Doug Harris P0607
Who kept a giraffe as a servant.
He would come at her call
And would polish the hall.
Her praises of him were most fervent.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Of a well hung giraffe (what can match 'em?)
As he bolted the fence.
Said the zoo keeper -- Spence
"Please squeeze mine dear, so I can catch him!"
--- Anon
And standing in elegant poses.
When people would laugh
At her guy, the giraffe
In the air they would stick up their noses.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0105
Who concocted his own Epitaph:
Here lies one whose Speed,
Is renowned, for, indeed,
He won by two Necks and a half.
--- Frolics Uncle Yule P0607
Sits squarely within the Sialidae.
His antennae and wings
And ant-lion siblings
Are entirely admired by all and I.
--- Rory Ewins Q
Has wings; its relations psocopterous
Either may or may not,
Although no bug has got
Any wings that rotate helicopterous.
--- Rory Ewins Q
Has a million insects who stay
Away from our sight;
Only come out at night
When mosquitoes will drag you away!
--- Anon
Metamorphosis, thus are secure
In their insect identities.
Their newly-hatched entities
Are nymphs till they're fully mature,
--- Sheila B
Seem sweet whether crawlin' or flyin'.
But when larval, she munches
On aphids in bunches,
So her larva are called aphid lion.
--- Anon
Abused his poor wife, yes, he'd beat her.
But she held her own;
She was getting her bone
From a tender and caring mosquiter.
--- Anon
I devour your green carrot tops.
And the fruit from your trees
I will happily seize.
If you don't like it, you can call the cops.
--- Mimi
Asked, as the waiter drew near,
(To see if he might
Enjoy a small bite)
"Is the bar tender here?"
--- Res Ipsa
Is a beetle with bottom of brass,
Don't dither about it.
Come right out and shout it.
It's got an aeneous ass!
--- Anon
Whose praises need to be sung.
This industrious species
Buries animal feces,
Which all other beasts have flung.
--- Joshua M. Levine P9710A
A worm ate to the last page. It took
Seven claims statisticians
And mathematicians
To prove the sly bookworm a crook.
--- David A Brooks
Who had a large bug in her pants.
She took off her clothes,
Right down to her hose.
Her date asked, "May I screw while you dance?"
--- Joe the Jester
Said, "Pa, what is that on the rug?"
Cried he, "Goodness gracious!
How very vexacious,
I fear is a blood-sucking insect of the Cimex lectularius
--- P8204
Along on the floor it did skim,
I jumped up quite quick,
It made me feel sick,
So I squashed it and made it quite slim.
--- Anon
And kept them in jars, cups and jugs.
She tickled their chins,
Scratched under their chins,
And carefully gave them all hugs.
--- Learning Works
Permit them a strange exercise.
Their queer avocation
And great dedication
Permit them to mount butterflies.
--- Anon
He said, "Wanna?" she said: "I might.
Some foreplay would help."
So he massaged her palp;
It turned out one hell of a night.
--- Anon
When confronted with nature, was bold.
He'd take up his weapon,
A stool or a baton,
And thrash butterflies till they were cold.
--- Anon
Who fluttered around all day.
But when a blue jay
Wanted to play,
The Monarch just flew away.
--- Garrett Landon
Dismissed the remark with a shrug.
When addressed with the query,
He thought droll, dreadful, dreary,
"What's the mating call of the Humbug?"
--- Loren Fitzhugh
A caterpillar just doesn't bother.
It's given no voice
In making a choice,
Which is done, of course, by its mother.
--- Anon
Told me of this cell phone and it's feature.
It takes, though, some skill,
To do the bug ill,
By throwing the phone at the creature.
--- Tiddy Ogg
Till the day he turned into a moth.
Then he zoomed like a jet
To the cupboard to get
His teeth into everyone's cloth!
--- Anon
Was embarrassed in front of the guys.
He hid from the masses
In Groucho Marx glasses,
But it was not an effective disguise.
--- Tillmanator
This is file ljk
Had just vanished into the closet.
But it later emerged
And was summarily purged.
Well, it was the same one, right?...or was it?
--- Prof M-G
Its song fill the evening bush.
The sound of its screech
Thrills the parts you can't reach,
And that's quite an adrenaline rush.
--- Bill Wall
Collecting, he rarely was bested.
Suspected of drugs,
More likely was bugs;
At the border, he was arrested.
--- Jessie Gunnard
Which you find in the weave of a rug.
You needn't explain
A meaning so plain,
And you shouldn't be looking so smug.
--- Anon
The cricket's a bug with a habit.
When singing 'bout weather,
His legs rub together,
But I can't catch a cricket who's at it.
--- Silvia S Crockett P0106
I can't wait until this one stops
That damn creaky noise!
Wish he'd get some toys.
'Cause he'll rub his legs 'til he flops!
--- Anon
For fish; a most fitting fate
To keep in your mind,
Once that bug you do find,
That has kept you up way too late.
--- Anon
Carries well across any lake,
Where they will soon be
A fish's entree,
And the fish will be yours; that's jake.
--- Anon
Should properly have had his boots on.
He made such a racket,
I just couldn't hack it,
And that night lasted an eon.
--- Anon
And then gave me a ratty kiss.
For I caught that bug
But I didn't hug
It, my rat got it for breakfis'.
--- Anon
Was gnawing his granny in two;
She said to him, "Grimes,
Now how many times
Have I told you to cut and not chew."
--- Lims Unlimited
Together, in bed they were shacked.
I know it's absurd,
They were found by a bird.
The ending -- they sadly were snacked!
--- Anon
That I'm happy when one of them dies,
But I revel in glee
At the killing of three:
Moths, mosquitoes, and flies.
--- Vassar Smith P9611
Begged an ant some assistance to grant.
But the ant shook his head,
"I can't help you," he said,
"It's an uncle you need, not an ant."
--- Oliver Herford
Went walking out with a grasshopper.
When she wanted to stop,
He continued to hop,
And got home before her to supper.
--- Anon
Invasions of insects and slugs;
The garden infested,
The homeowner tested,
With creatures that one seldom hugs.
--- Joel D Ash
Not screened they will seldom delight.
These June bugaboos,
Seldom here two by twos,
They arrive in a swarm day and night.
--- Joel D Ash
We hit them with all that we've got;
Bug zappers and traps,
Organic stopgaps,
Or perhaps we are just forced to swat.
--- Joel D Ash
Seeing good in the bugs despite bites;
They see them as friends,
With a view that portends,
The announcement of bug bill of rights.
--- Joel D Ash
The ones that don't drive people wild;
Fireflies we enjoy,
Bugs we hate to destroy,
Ladybugs are the bugs poster child.
--- Joel D Ash
If they're dense I will spare no expense;
When June bugs eat the crops,
I do not call the cops,
Self defense is a way that makes sense.
--- Joel D Ash
She cried for the life that she had.
I need to know why
I must die in July...
Can Autumn be really that bad?
--- Anon
All without firing a gun.
Though they're not Visigoths,
(Only just damn moths)
I'm proud to say I did not run!
-