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As we talked at last night's dinner table, There was an old man in a Speedo; This Denise is only fourteen; All dads think their daughters are cute; Lolita, delinquent supreme, "It was love at first sight," explained May, "Do you really believe," inquired Fay, At school with my sums, I excelled; Just what is this menstrual blather? When in gangs, these teenagers go ape. A gang leader, a budding young hood, How I wish I could be seventeen. (can not execute below eighteen when crime committed)
To the whole TV bit, you should listen, But listen some MORE, Cybe old sport: After 40 you're up for parole; But at that young age, seventeen, A boy who brought back his report, I remember when I was fifteen, There was a young boy named O'Toole, The parents who often are seen Adolescence is essence commences Sweet young Andrew had one or two faults "You're not the first girl I've kissed, Sue," Said a bright young teenager from Texas, There was a young boy from Thorpe School A teen-aged son of two physicians There was a young lady from Queens, Now how the Hell'd they get in here? At 18 want it several times daily; Ghetto kids greet each other, "Ho brother. (syllepsis)
He was fifteen perhaps, hardly older, A rebellious young student from Boulder, I remember my hot kissin' cousin; I spent all my youth in just beeing, My youth was an island I passed There once was a banker named Powers A teenager knows of the uses There was a young boy from Thorpe School A naive teenager, Miss Lewis, Little boys are oft bunches of trouble; Oh, I never will part from sweet Lee; "Of late," a teenager named Dee, Many kids on our block formed a gang. A teen-ager who goes on vacation, A delinquent, today, is defined Then Wendy to Peter Pan said, I suppose that the satirist Juvenal Roxanne was my first teen-age tryst. If knowing then what I know now, Our Scoutmaster said (this is true): It's not the three boys who cause worry. Recalling the age of pubescence, I'm a frog anad you may hear reports, There was an old fellow named Doak, A retired metal-worker named Noades If you're hunting a young axolotl, When a bullfrog stopped croaking to sing A Canadian bullfrog, by God, Graeme Sawyer in Queensland has said, (Liquid fertilizer from cane toads exploding in storage)
Bizarre critter-mixtures of goo While exploring the shoreline of Libya, I took some jars down to the bogs I'd rather meet some croaking frogs.
A kitten's mew couldn't be truer; I once knew a young girl from France, Animal experiments are very cruel; A bio prof, seeing a toad I'm sitting here stuck on the road;
I queried my daughter named Mable.
"Please kindly tell me
What is meant by BC!"
She said "Dad, that was life Before Cable."
--- Tom Patton P9602
He's trying to be incognito.
He was not succeeding,
The neighbors were pleading,
"Will you please put on your tuxedo?"
--- Denise Sjokoladeis
For some comments, she is quite keen.
The things that you say
I'll pass on today.
Whatever you say, keep it clean.
--- Denise Sjokoladeis
Any contrary thoughts, they file suit.
It's not she's not clever,
The fact is however,
Not one other dad gives a hoot.
--- S C Saint
What every old man hopes to dream.
Both buxom and soft
With parts held aloft,
That pressure the mid-zipper seam.
--- Irving Superior P9601
"Or at least so I thought till the next day
When I learned from My dad
That my parents were glad
And had no real objections to Ray."
--- A N Wilkins P8405
"In love at first sight?" "I should say!"
The teenager replied
To her girlfriend and sighed,
"It happens to me every day."
--- A N Wilkins P8405
All the competition I felled.
But was mad on the boys
And played with their toys,
And for this indiscretion, expelled!
--- Michelle
Menarche's upon Archie I gather.
I would not have foreseen
Arch a girlish pre-teen,
But a subject quite different, I'd rather.
--- Tutta Gioia
They rob and they pillage and rape.
Their minds are unglued,
And I must conclude
That I'd much rather live with an ape.
--- Al Willis P9601
Was released by Judge Dooby DoGood,
Who said, "Robberies and lootings
And alleged drive-by shootings
Simply mean that you're misunderstood."
--- William N Nesbit P9512
I could act so amazingly mean!
I could murder and rape,
And get out of the scrape,
With no limit to venting my spleen!!!
--- Anon
Absorbing those parts that you're missin'.
'Til the last of my breath?
I'd prefer a quick death
To all of my life spent in prison.
--- Cyber Wizard
In Texas I have to report
Though we kill 'em with ease,
"Life," if you please,
Is fifty-some-years too damn short.
--- Anon
If I'd murdered a certain asshole
As I wished at the time,
I'd have paid for my crime,
Then done in his sons -- Oh! how droll!
--- Anon
I never was violent or mean
But had I been caught
With above asshole's daught-
Ers ... I'd never again have been seen!
--- Anon
Heard his fathere emit a great snort.
"What's this--Doesn't try?"
Said the boy with a sigh,
"I do try, Dad,--not to get caught!"
--- Mary Danby Armada 1
I was shaving a beard none had seen.
I practiced my dimples,
I glared at my pimples,
And the thoughts in my head were obscene.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
Who seldom came home, as a rule.
He was not a bad lad,
But he made his dad mad,
When he only stopped in to refuel.
--- Observer
By kids, at the age of thirteen,
As hopelessly dense,
Do seem to make sense
When kids have completed nineteen.
--- R J Winkler P8502
Bombarded by all of its senses,
By mom's common sense,
By sexual scents,
And by peer-group high-pressure consensus.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
Such as vile things he pickled in salts.
But one day, in a jar,
That child took things too far,
For the vileness was great-granny Holtz.
--- David A Brooks Q
He told her with little ado.
"You surely don't think
I'm the kind of a fink
Who would actually practice on you."
--- A N Wilkins P8502
"I'm certainly glad there's two sexes.
For fucking's a pleasure
That boys and girls treasure;
It prevents all those Freudian complexes."
--- Grand Prix Lim 141 G0201
Who pinged pellets of ink with his rule,
But Oh! Such disaster,
He was caught by a master,
And got six of the best after school!
--- Archie
Always slept in the prone positions.
And when asked why,
He said, rather shy,
"My secret's nocturnal emissions."
--- Tom Patton P9902
Who still in the blush of her teens,
Developed a range
Of behavior so strange,
It stirred rumors of recessive genes.
--- John Ciardi
These youngsters, who rhyme kind of queer,
And think they know scads,
Even though they're just lads --
Did the schools let out early this year?
--- Anon
We stay up late often to pray, we
Will find some fine chick
Who wants our dick,
As often as we'd like to spray thee.
--- Anon
Man, you sure be on real ugly mother."
They do petty crime
And spend all their time
Shooting heroin, fouls, and each other.
--- Arthur Deex P9601
But needed to be somewhat bolder
To do what he dreamt:
To make the attempt
To let his arm rest on her shoulder.
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
Rejected the facts that they told her.
When taking exams,
She told them to jam
The stuff up all the way to their shoulder.
--- Mike O'Conner
Both thirteen, and our hormones were buzzin';
"Lemme have a look-see,
And I'll let you see me!"
(Joy-box hairs only numbered a dozen.)
--- Anon
This is file lhk
And checking the flowers I was seeing;
A-poking my pecker
(A good hymen wrecker)
And then from their fathers a-fleeing!
--- Anon
While climbing the length of the mast
Of love and desire.
And as I drew higher,
Gazillions of islands! Avast!
--- Anon
Who gave his teen daughter the glowers
When she put on a tank
Top lettered "SPERM BANK --
Deposits Accepted All Hours."
--- P8503a
Of sex and should make no excuses.
But when girls start their menses,
The boys lose their senses.
"Adolescence" means "stew in one's juices."
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
Who stood on his head on a stool.
The silly young fat head
Has now got a flat head,
And is two inches shorter, poor fool.
--- Mrs Hale
Asked: "What is it fellows do to us
That makes babies come--
Or am I just being dumb?"
Her sister's reply was, "They screw us!"
--- G1680
They fight and bite and play in rubble.
They're cute and they're fun
And they like to run.
And as they grow, the trouble will double.
--- Alicia McIntire
He's as sweet as a young boy could be.
He makes my parts fizz,
With his virile young jizz,
When I bounce up and down on his knee.
--- Anon
Said, "I'm happy as ever could be,
But I really don't know,"
She tole her friend Flo,
"If it's vitamins or if it is me."
--- A N Wilkins P8502
For the law, they just don't give a dang.
They rob and they pillage
The streets of our village,
And who knows what they do with their wang.
--- Thomas Patton P9601
Looks for a fresh destination.
He/she wants sunshine bright,
And excitement at night;
Enjoyment without any cessation!!
--- Arthur Pattaffy
As a waif to whom life was unkind.
But now, won't you agree,
That the problem might be
That no one ever warmed his behind.
--- William N Nesbit P9601
"The children should now be in bed.
And don't tell them they
Can just fly away.
Pete, that's how delinquency's spread."
--- Irving Superior P9601
Must sometimes in his life have been juvenile,
Engaged in unsavory
Adolescent behavery,
But could he have ever been puerile?
--- Laurence Perrine P8503
We kissed and we kissed and we kissed,
Till panties were sticky
And boxers were icky,
And water formed foam when I pissed.
--- H Welchel
My memories much more would allow.
I'd lick her sweet twat,
And then, you know what,
And right through her cherry I'd plow.
--- H Welchel
"As chivalrous lads, this you'll do;
A whore in your clutches,
You treat like a duchess;
A duchess, you treat like a who?"
--- Anon
The oldest, a girl, seems to flurry,
And flutter and SNEAK.
The havoc she'll wreak.
Hold her down, tape her mouth, and hurry.
--- Anon
With easy and frequent tumescence,
Impels me to query,
As toward old age I hurry,
Why is youth wasted on adolescents?
--- E E Potts P8502
That I have been guilty of torts.
And if you'll be my bride,
All my gold, I'll divide.
But you must accept all my warts.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Who swallowed a frog as a joke.
His wife gave his back
A thunderous whack
'Cause she was afraid he would croak.
--- Observer
Used to solve little problems for toads,
Like where to jump next,
Or a hard Latin text,
Or how to avoid major roads.
--- Michael Palin
I'll tell you what any Scot'll.
Take a bottle of whis-
Key, tip it down your gizz-
Ard and then hit it hard with the bottle.
--- Anon
A rich aria welcoming spring,
His friends said, "Are you mad?
Stop that noise! It's so bad!"
He replied, "I'm just doing my thing!"
--- Deboroni
Had his eye on a beautiful cod.
But she would not console
This lonely tadpole;
Now he's toad-ally de-fishient, poor sod.
--- Ericka
"Our new Toadjus has brewed too much head!
And blown up some shops
From excessive hops...
So we'll use platypusses instead.
--- David Miller
Require a component review.
If toads blow their top,
And platypi pop,
'Tis better to use kangaroo.
--- Randog
I was chased by a pair of amphibia;
They were hot in pursuit
When I fell on my snoot,
And one of them chewed off a tibia.
--- Lims Unlimited
And caught a bunch of pollywogs.
Kiss one, it's a cinch
It'll be a handsome prince.
Better by far -- leave them in the jar.
--- Lynn Skywriter P0205
'Twas trapped in a vent pipe. No fewer
Than firefighters three
Came to get kitty free,
But a cuban tree frog was the mewer.
--- Prof M-G
Who taught little frogs how to dance.
If one went astray,
He was dinner next day;
Her agility 'twas said to enhance.
--- Funny Bone
I hated cutting frogs up in school.
If first cooked, they had been,
I would have licked my plate clean,
Instead of put them in the pool.
--- Hugh Clary
That he thought was a rare "Double toed,"
Swerved and braked to avoid it,
Was too late, and destroyed it
And his car, which he had to have towed.
--- John Sandler P9112
Would not have been here if I'd knowed
A train would come through
And stop traffic, too.
I stopped for an endangered toad!
--- Anon
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