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"But one did," said Fife, "think it cool "Well this time, Fife, You've crossed the line. A Casanova, Southampton weekending, The ways of Lothario Frinks A horny harpooner from Nome A tighfisted fellow named Toro In Great Neck, Old Lyme, and Manhasset, I have a swell guy," said May Black. My wife had come home to find "No, wait," I said, "Let me explain. "I saw her clothes were raggy and tattered, "So I gave to her, last year's wool sweaters "She was hungry, so I fixed her a bite "Believe me, my dear, it's no ruse, When the Ur King was asked for a screw, Once a week was the most that old Ned When I was untrue to my Lar, A doughty old knight of Belgrade, For dear Milkman I'm writing this poem; The marriage, vowed young Mrs. Cruse, A hard to please MD - Virginian, There was a young man from Purdue (yoo hoo - mating call of the male homosexual)
Everyone but that dumbbell, O'Neal, Such is my sexual frustration! Perhaps I should have an affair, "Well, have a night out with your 'crew', Let's meet at this out-of-town diner; I am happy to help all wives spawn, My neighbor, Abe, works every night, John's wife whispered, "Boy, you're in luck. The following night, John came home. "Well, yes, he came by for a while," She thought as she stood there askance, The snoopers delight to inquire I was pounding away on lush Joan The judge has just made his decision. After having sex I feel great! A young trapeze artist named Fife There once was a man name of Faber; "I would like to say, Mr. Bunce, I know that's what you like to think, She's onto her dozenth orgasm There was a young bride named McWing, There was an old bishop of Gloucester A lady from old Little Rock, She said to her husband, "I'm flyin'; Big Bully Babcock of Woodstock The duchess once had an affair On the day she walked down the aisle, A brilliant young actor named Fyfe, A naive young fellow named Blore She was low on white sugar, John's Dot, My neighbor's wife, Daisy McCants, A luscious young housewife named Filk, A practical fellow named Bates The wife of a preacher named Brown, A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison There was a young bridegroom of Brandon An ambitious young fellow named Baker We were dressed by the time we got back, While sexing his brother's new wife, My philandering friend was a cutie; There was a young man of Ostend, (Published 1879)
There once was a worker called Bill Said his boss, "When I'm feeling that way,
For Moms to exchange their love tool;
I learned this today
When your daughter, Faye,
Swam naked with me in my pool."
--- Travis Brasell
It's rather repulsive," said Cline.
"You're approaching incest,
'Cause a DNA test
Confirms that Faye's your child, not mind!"
--- Observer
Said, "Adultry's a word that's offending.
But I've found that my hostess
Will put out the mostest,
So I lay my host FIRST, elbow bending."
--- Grand Prix Lim 850
Drive husbands who know, to strong drinks.
For Mr. F. thrives
On unsatisfied wives,
A most happy hobby, methinks.
--- Grand Prix Lim 794
Cared little for nooky at home,
But out on a hunt,
Toward succulent cunt,
His thoughts then his feet would soon roam.
--- Armand E Singer 99
Would never buy what he could borrow.
Like the wife from next door
He had had once before,
And promised to bring back tomorrow.
--- Armand E Singer 506
Copulation's an important facet
Of suburban life;
And a hot, willing wife
For trading's a valuable asset.
--- Grand Prix Lim 513 G0657
"The best husband in the world -- that's a fact.
He is generous and gay,
And real good in the hay,
But, dammit, his wife wants him back!"
--- Clarence E Boyle P8407
Me mounting a young woman's behind.
'Fore I'd gotten to come,
She yelled at me, "Bum!
Tell me, are you out of your mind?"
--- Tom Accousti
She was hitchhiking out in the rain.
I brought her on by
To get her all dry;
And would have sent her back out, but then..."
--- Tom Accousti
Her shoes and her purse had been battered.
And you had closets galore
Of clothes that you wore
Just once, so I'd not thought it mattered.
--- Tom Accousti
And a few more old things I could get her;
Like some two year old shoes,
That had never been used,
Since you found ones that suited you better.
--- Tom Accousti
Of the dinner you made us last night --
Since I had no doubt
You'd throw leftovers out,
Although she told me it tasted all right."
--- Tom Accousti
After giving her clothing and shoes,
She started to go,
And then asked me, 'So,
Is there anything else she don't use?'"
--- Tom Accousti
Quoth he, "I should not overdo.
So I can relax
And not overtax,
Take my wives and my concubines too!"
--- Jane D Hughes P9107
Could service his wife, so he said...
Not knowing Joe Winner
Spent his afternoons in her,
Making up for what Ned said was dead...
--- Grand Prix Lim 65
I tossed a new dime in a jar.
In no time at all,
I had wherewithal
To go out and buy a nice car.
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Cantered southward to join the Crusade.
His lady, recalling
That squires knew their balling,
Faced a husbandless life, undismayed.
--- Isaac Asimov
He brings milk and sweet cream that will foam.
And he is the boss
Of a very big horse,
And fucks mommy when Daddy's not home
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0407
Was trust that one should not abuse.
And when lovers of late
Would inquire for a date,
At least five out of ten she'd refuse.
--- Albin Chaplin
Wed a sweet little North Carolinian.
Her performance at sex
He put down -- she expects
To get a second opinion.
--- Ann Gasser P8709
Whose bride was both bold and untrue.
When his friends called him cuckold,
This young bridegroom chuckled,
"So what? I'd much rather yoo-hoo!"
--- G2725
Knows his wife has an afternoon deal.
For at two every day
A guy stops for a lay --
Depending on how I may feel!
--- G0158
From sheer lack of sweet copulation,
My husband's away,
Works long hours every day,
And I just can't abide masturbation....
--- Jim Weaver Collection
With a young stud all sweaty and bare.
An enormous hard tool,
He'd be hung like a mule,
With a squeezably neat derrier!
--- Jim Weaver Collection
Oh so nice to hear from you, dear."
"I am out of town
With old friend Ed Brown,
And I'll be home very late then, I fear."
--- Tom Accousti
And don't wake me when you're home at two."
Come back to this bed.
My husband says he's out with you."
--- Tom Accousti
My husband can be such a whiner.
Who wants to listen
To his moaning' and pissin'
Because I have found someone finer.
--- Marty TP9807
And the last ten I've helped are far gone.
To inoculate Sally,
I must sneak through the alley,
While her louse of a spouse mows the lawn.
--- G1721
Which for me, is a stallion's delight.
For I've kept his wife's fears
Of the dark, calm for years...
Can adultry, so wrong, be so right!
--- Grand Prix Lim 911
Tomorrow if you want a fuck,
Well, John's working late;
Won't be home until eight;
You can have me for just 50 bucks."
--- Tiddy Ogg
"Hi honey, are you all alone?"
When "Yes" she did say,
"Did Tid come this way?"
Asked John, and she smothered a groan.
--- Tiddy Ogg
She said with an innocent smile.
"And then did he pay
You cash?" John did say.
With never an inkling of guile.
--- Tiddy Ogg
This is file lgm
"He knows Tid's been inside my pants."
Then John did intone:
"Good, I made him a loan,
And he said he'd repay the advance."
--- Tiddy Ogg
What's between me and Misses McGuire...
With her hubby in jail,
And to cool her hot tail,
I agreed to help put out the fire.
--- Grand Prix Lim 908
When her husband buzzed her on the phone.
I paused, still plugged in,
"Good!" she said with a grin,
"Your extension kept up its dial tone!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 135
My hubby's new lawyer has risen.
The kids he will get
And I'm laughing yet,
Because I am sure they ain't all his'n.
--- Jim Weaver Collection a
It's like losing five stone in weight.
But I soon lose my bone,
When her husband comes home,
And I have to dash out the back gate.
--- Funny Bone
Is causing a great deal of strife.
"I like to," said he,
"Have a net under me."
But Annette is the bandleader's wife.
--- Michael Weinstein P8711a
His wife had ten kids through much labor.
He said, "They're all mine!"
She said, "No, just nine,
The youngest one came from our neighbor."
--- Chris Bolivar a
I'm a great connoisseur of hot cunts.
And in all my lewd life,
I've met none like your wife.
So why let me have her, you dunce?"
--- Jim Weaver Collection
That I make your wife's pussy stink.
While you're there alone,
I'm sinking my bone
Right into her wild hairy pink.
--- Anon
And I'm making sure that she has 'em.
But now I'm sending back
What you, sadly, lack;
And try not to fall in her chasm.
--- Anon
Who thought sex a delirious thing.
When her bridegroom grew ill
From too much (as they will),
She found other men do the same thing.
--- Anon G0125
Whose wife thought he chivvied and bossed her,
So she made him agree
To polyandry,
And take the last place on her roster.
--- Tom Baker P8806a
In fidelity took little stock,
And deserted her man,
In the streets of Japan,
For a boy with a prehensile cock.
--- Anon
I'll be at the gym pumping iron."
Her workout was strenuous;
Her story ingenuous.
She was really in bed pumping Brian.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0511Q
Is a boon to loose wives in his block.
He supplies what their men
Try to do, now and then,
And does his jelly roll make them rock!
--- Grand Prix Lim 986
With the vicar before evening prayer.
The duke, spotting the tryst
Said, "Proceed, I insist."
Now that's what I call savoir-faire.
--- Arthur Deex P8912
With love in her heart, she said, "I'll
Stop flirting with Ned,
And break off with Ed,
But I can't stop sleeping with Lisle."
--- Al Willis
Had been impotent most of his life.
As King Lear he would rage,
And get raves on the stage.
While his stand-in got raves from his wife.
--- Michael Weinstein P9712
Tried to buy rubber cunts in a store.
The storekeeper's wife
Explained Facts Of Life;
Now Blore's fucking her more and more.
--- G2087
So she popped 'round to Randy La Motte.
That night, John observed
Her sweet smile as she served
Him hot coffee, which sadly was not.
--- David A Brooks Q
Caught sight of the bulge in my pants.
And now, nigh two years,
That cute little dear's
Been locked in a thigh-parting trance.
--- Travis Brasell
Attired in pajamas of silk,
With her husband away
And at work through the day,
Three milkmen delivered the milk.
--- Albin Chaplin
Picks young married girls when he dates.
He gets quite a charge,
All tingly and large,
From humping the other guys' mates.
--- Armand E Singer 90
Ran wild when she went into town,
While her hubby lead prayer,
She let six men lay 'er,
And on six other guys she went down.
--- Bob Birch P0507
And had an affair with a Saracen.
She was not over-sexed
Or jealous or vexed,
She just wanted to make a comparison.
--- Ogden Nash
With a bride both reserved and demandin'.
She succumbed in the end,
With the help of a friend
In a wild, orgiastic abandon.
--- Keith MacMillan 80d
Known around as a top dolly maker,
One day gave six wives
The best lay of their lives,
Proving Baker, doll maker's no faker!
--- Grand Prix Lim 588
And I said to Ann's spouse, "Listen, Mack,
In a lifetime of follies
I've had dozens of dollies,
And YOUR WIFE'S the best yet, in the sack!"
--- Grand Prix Lim 523
A randy young coxswain from Fife
Said, "The cat house downtown
Can up and burn down...
I'm set for free loving for life."
--- Grand Prix Lim 52
He would show up an hour late for duty,
And swear on his life
He'd been phoning his wife,
When he'd really been calling his Beauty.
--- John E Mayhood
Whose wife caught him fucking her friend.
"It's no use, my duck,
Interrupting our fuck,
For I'm damned if I 'draw 'til I spend.
--- L0077
Who phoned to his boss feeling ill.
I've got a bad head;
I must stay in bed.
I can't do my shift at the mill.
--- Donald McGill
I make love to my darling wife, Kay.
I'm soon feeling better;
No headache to fetter
My working, right through the day."
--- Donald McGill
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