There once was a big ugly toad, A frog who turned into a prince This Christmas we found a Yule Log An erotophile named Young The frogs, salamanders, and toads One poison, one Darwin's, two golden... I have a frog who is named Sprocket; There once was a lazy green frog There once was aa boy who loved frogs; A fat man whose surname was Hoad, A polliwog grew into a frog, If you're comfortable living on land, No matter how much you may goad, Before an egg becomes tadpole, Your gift was quite timely, indeed, A fat little frog in the Shreen POLLIWOG's kind of cute, I confess, Anphibian larva, POLLIWOG, A sailor besotted with grog Of weighty importance and heft, I once was a little bit higher, Thought a tadpole of upper Temagami, In the Spring our frogs mate in the swamp When searching for animals three-toed, On a lily pad, massive in size, Fred was a lucky old toad; Now I have sent you a watch-frog; Goody! A watchfrog for free! Two monkeys discussed in detail A barber who lived in Belgravia, A baboon met on night on a date The baboon, the old red-bottom goon, The ape that is called the baboon
This is file lgk
The Pongos in tropical climes There once was a bald gorilla Beware of the Barbary Ape: In Kenya there live chimpanzees, The world's not a safe place, I fear; (300 children bitten by blood sucking monkeys, India)
I asked an orang-otang of it. Chimpanzees will sometimes devise Have you heard about old Mr. Craddick, Said a fervent young lady of Hammels, A monkey once said to his mate, There once was a boy named Gustave, A monkey once wearied her male In the city of Prague, at the gate Zoological Samuel Klingers How graceful they seem, and how good, The gibbon, though somewhat like man, A scholarly fellow named Walter Though a gorilla's a primate most nimble, A gorilla named Lee scratched his head; There are some people think a gorilla Gorillas, desiring to eat, There once was a keeper named Phil A bold tourist came home from Manila, A scientist studying apes (I don't get it - McW)
Anti-human? How could you, you beast! That Pongos are pongoid is true, To a gorilla who went for a drink, Goliath Gregorius Grape Pursuing the anthropoid Pongo, There was a composer named Bong, The network chief said, "We won't botch it. The mandrill I reject; The mandrill, I say, is obscene.
Who was sitting on the side of the road.
He baked in the sun,
Not hurting anyone,
Until the heat made him explode.
--- Anon
Has regretted it ever since,
'Cause he missed the bogs
And his family of frogs,
And especially their moist slimy skins.
--- Anon
On which there was sitting a frog.
He turned into a prince --
We've not seen him since --
Mind you, we've not looked in the bog.
--- Bill Wall
Said "This fellow deserves to be hung!
He's followed the pattern
Of writing in Latin --
I thought French was the vulgar tongue!"
--- Don Laycock P8811
Are facing some very rough roads.
In fact, the Caribbean's
Near void of amphibians.
They're dropping in buckets and loads!
--- Scott Oliver Q
They've give up, their hands they are foldin'.
The Harlequin, too.
I guess I'll go screw
Big lizards -- I've got me a cold 'un!
--- Q
Right now, he'll fit in my pocket.
But give him a year,
He'll grow like a deer,
And be bigger than a military rocket.
--- Anon
Who rode on the back of a dog.
But the dog wasn't big,
So he moved to a pig,
And that's how he went the whole hog.
--- Anon
He trained them as others do dogs.
They'd 'sit' and they'd 'fetch'
But they made the girls wretch,
So he let them all go in the bogs.
--- Old Gal
Faintly resembled a toad.
As he squatted down,
He said with a frown:
"I'm in my amphibian mode."
--- William K Alsop Jr
And was sunning one day on a log,
When a frisbee flew by,
Which he nailed on the fly,
And a legend was born in the bog.
--- Johnny Hart in BC P0209
Walk on feet, breathe the atmosphere, and
Under water, breathe too
(Absorb oxygen), you
Are amphibious. Ain't Nature grand?
--- Sheila B
I refuse to dissect a live toad.
No ifs ands or buts,
I don't have the guts,
And that is the end of this ode.
--- Al Willis
One might change direction of whole
By gently scratching
Ere it goes hatching,
And make nueropore the ah...soul.
--- Daniel Ford
For another frog's just what we need.
We only had four,
There's room for one more,
Though it is one more mouth we must feed.
--- Anon
Was colored bright orange, not green.
When the frog prince asked why,
He just blinked his frog eye,
And said, "Man. I just like to be seen."
--- Jane Flynn
As a pet; had my doubts nonetheless.
At my child's insistence
I lost my resistance.
It turned into toadal success!
--- Observer
As herptologists chronolog,
Will be frog or toad,
Unless on the road,
They become some crane's food catalog.
--- Daniel Ford
Beheld in a stream POLLIWOG.
"That Princess, I'll kiss her,
Because if I miss her,
She'll change to an ugly old frog."
--- Chris Papa
Is mountain man's advice, quick and deft;
After the game you shoot,
Beware the stew with newt,
For deadly the poison from red eft.
--- Daniel Ford
'Til shrunk by a spell by the sire.
So now I'm a toad
And squashed on the road,
From here all the way to Hillshire.
--- Peter Wilkins
"I foresee even less than monogamy,
'Cause I hear that the male
Must surrender his tail --
Which will not make a lusty good formami."
--- Keith MacMillan 72a
With abandon, not decorous pomp.
Like ducks they do quack;
No passion they lack.
Waters roll as they boogie and romp.
--- Swamp Duffy
No dictionary ever says "See Toad."
But I saw, on a road
Once, a squashed three-toed toad,
And I stopped and a damned cop had me-towed.
--- Theo Heller P9112
Sat a bullfrog with great bulging eyes,
And he croaked to his brood,
As they gulped down their food,
"Time is fun when you're having such flies."
--- Bob Giandomenico P9709
Merrily hopped down the road.
But an ice cream truck
Stole all his good luck,
And now he is toad a-la-mode!
--- Elizabeth Hunter TP9802
He's nice and he lived in a bog.
Eats spiders and flies,
But never french fries.
He croaks when he sees a dog.
--- Archie
This sweet green watchfroggie could be
A prince in disguise,
But as he eats flies,
He won't get his kisses from me.
--- Marlene Lewis
The beauties of having a tail --
So slim and prehensile,
So strong and so tensile!
"Thereby," observed one, "hangs a tale."
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
Well known for his faultless behaviour,
Remarked to a baboon,
Who came in his saloon,
"Do sit down, but I'm damned if I'll shave ya."
--- Anon
The gorilla his dreams -- it was great!
He went ape at the sight,
'Cause he knew that she might
Be the one he would call his prime mate.
--- Kirk Miller
Is as mad as a coot in mid-June.
He's grumblingly grumpy
And cravenly jumpy;
Shout Boo! and he'll fall in a swoon.
--- David A Brooks Q
Is hairy, and sings out of tune.
He's not very tall;
His legs are quite small,
But his arms, they could reach to the moon.
--- Anon
To troglodyte's genus, at times
Were falsely ascribed
And wrongly described --
An error not found in these rhymes.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Who, wrapped up in a furry chinchilla,
Escaped from the zoo
Through a gap in the loo,
And now works in a cafe in Manila.
--- Anon
It cleverly makes an escape
When swiping whatever
And seldom, if ever,
Will shrink from a mischievous scrape.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Whose ballocks hang down to their knees,
And their dongs are so long
And so supple and strong,
They can use them to swing through the trees.
--- Michael Horgan
There is no escaping, that's clear.
'Twixt political yammers
And lawyers and spammers,
I thought all those suckers were here!
--- John Miller
He seemed to get such a bang of it.
He said, "You can swing
Through the trees like a king,
When once you have gotten the hang of it."
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
A way to get something they prize
Or seem to admire
And greatly desire --
Like humans in pongoid disguise.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Who has chimpanzees up in his attic?
From the rafters they swing,
Then they jump through a ring.
Craddick's chimps can be quite acrobatic.
--- Night Lights Fights P9811
"I object to humanity's trammels!
I want to be free!
Like a bird! Like a bee!
Oh, why am I classed with the mammals!"
--- Morris Bishop
"Except for the kindness of Fate,
We might have been human,
With too much acumen,
To climb in the trees and relate."
--- Limber Limericks
Who said that a chimp he must have,
But his parents said not,
'Cause they'd already got
All the ape they could take in Gustave.
--- Anon
With a long and monotonous tale,
Till the male, by report,
To make a long story short,
Took a cleaver and cut short her tail!
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
Of a tree house, a monkey will wait
Till her husband appears,
Then she'll swing on his ears
To show how she loves her Czech mate.
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Has stated, in case doubt still lingers,
"The apes in my charge,
Have nostril so large,
Because they have very fat fingers."
--- Tiddy Ogg
As they swing through their green neighborhood!
I come, I conceive,
Not from Adam and Eve,
But from Harry and Grace in a wood.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
Belongs to the Pongidae clan:
A tail-less ape
That tries to escape
By swinging through trees if it can.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Thought he'd study the apes on Gibralter.
But to his dismay,
It was ape holiday,
And the monkeys had all gone to Malta.
--- Don Mulford
For his bulk, he's no sexual symbol.
You see, his poor dong
Is but two inches long,
And his semen won't fill up a thimble.
--- Actaeon
"Where will I go when I'm dead?"
For this he did worry,
But found out in a hurry,
For a hunter then shot him instead.
--- Anon
A creature as fierce as Atilla.
They're wrong as can be,
For he lives in a tree,
And his favorite ice cream is vanilla.
--- Laurence Perrine P8408
Will frequently utilize feet
To hold on to food.
We hold it crude,
A custom more useful than neat.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Whose zoo was right next to a grill.
The monkeys would dwindle
With Phil's greasy swindle,
And the city would pick up the bill.
--- Tillmanator
Along with a half-ton gorilla;
Yes, it's known he's no chimp
But they found he's a wimp
When consuming BenJerry's vanilla.
--- J Maynard Kaplan
Deserved the sniggering japes
Of colleagues concerned
And others who learned
He'd eaten the anthropoids' grapes.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Please consider our good points, at least.
We're industrious, smart,
And we've made some nice art.
You would miss us if we were deceased.
--- David Morin
All parts of the Pongidae crew
Of anthropoid creatures
With humanoid features --
A fact of importance to few.
--- R J Winkler P8408
The barman remarked with a blink,
"We get very few
Gorillas like you."
Said the ape, "It's your prices -- they stink!"
--- Mary Danby - 2nd Armada
Was the size and the shape of an ape.
His every scintilla
Suggested gorilla;
The guy was an anthropoid shape.
--- David Morin
Curators from Boston and Bonn go,
Enduring the climate,
In search of a primate
Throughout equatorial Congo.
--- R J Winkler P8408
Who composed a new popular song.
It was simply the croon
Of a lovesick baboon,
With occasional thumps on the gong.
--- Anon
We'll have this macaque they call Crochett
Preview the new show,
Because, as you know,
He's as smart as the people who'll watch it.
--- A N Wilkins P8408
He isn't circumspect.
He uses paint
Where others mayn't,
And where you'd least expect.
--- Limber Limericks
He knows it, and shows it, as seen
By the permanent blush
Which paints his...Butt, tush!
It's his blushing which makes him obscene!
--- Laurence Perrine P8802