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I went to the wood just to play; My WANDERLUST led me astray. There once was a Polock named Bust, (Norm Burst's father)
If you've a quite keen WANDERLUST, The desire expressed in WANDERLUST Finaglers do expertly WANGLE To get in her pants he'd WANGLE. To manipulate subtly, to WANGLE, Last Wiccan I called on Samantha; With Wizards, prostitutes were real slick, There once was a WARLOCK -- male witch -- There once was a wicked WARLOCK, A very frustrated old WARLOCK, From the complex maze of the WARREN, The Wall Street Journal reports today Breast milk extraction for babies To get rids of a wart is a breeze. The topical cream may be fine, The key is lacto-albumin. An interesting concept: colostrum This study of HAMLET, you see (HAMLET - factor in human breast milk)
I do not think the product too neat, My former suggestion, of course, Though knights of olde like to WASSAIL, The olde knight would joust and would jostle, Of drink and caroling is WASSAIL, He bedded the maid at the WASSAIL. Seeming minor crime, WATERGATE, Said Nixon on learning of WATERGATE, As they continued to obfuscate, WATERGATE bore evil fruit, WATERGATE, a coinage new, The groom had some fumbles, a few, As he passed his water in the loo, Antiques store had sign "Vintage Loo." Crushing defeat at WATERLOO, The Brits call the crapper, "the loo", The Great Divide makes a WATERSHED, "Turkey neck" gives an image, it's true, Jowls more central form WATTLE, As we age, from sun our skins mottle, I've noticed that lately my WATTLE A weir can be formed by log jam, Would it be tough to limerick weir? The source for the dammed pond has been weired Weir boxes slow the rapid flow There once was an emir quite WEIRD, Three witches cooked-up something weird There once was a wizened old rhymer, Here under WELKIN's ringing vault, The vault of heaven is WELKIN, A WELKIN, like every abode In days when I, young and dense, "Let the WELKIN ring", chorus chimed, He tells of the French ship's relief, WELKIN rang with joyous welcome, His WELTANSCHAUUNG ideal If your WELTANSCHAUUNG's in good health, If you live by the sword, by it die; At Christmas Aussies WELTER The Mongols in their felt yurts WELTSCHMERZ is not the essence WELTSCHMERZ means that one is quite blue, It seem that some ladies and men, Two sheep talking, on a farm one day. Egregious, whether I am The young sheep sprawled on the heather.
My wanderlust led me astray.
Down pathway and trail,
Past hill, dell, and dale,
I'd wander lost most of the day.
--- Gary Hallock
I found this swell babe, hey, hey hey!
But though she's quite hot,
She covets me not.
I want her lust more every day.
--- Bob Dvorak
Who was seized with acute WANDERLUST.
While still in his teens,
With few coins in his jeans,
He sailed for New York. What crust!
--- Norm Brust
That urge that says travel, you must,
Get rid of that thing.
A quick end you'll bring,
On to Philadelphia, or bust.
--- Chris Papa
Is found in the hiker's trail dust.
Lust for the wander
Hither and yonder,
And not in rake's wandering lust.
--- Daniel Ford
To play every corner and angle
In getting their way,
Despite other's say,
While garnering glitter and spangle.
--- Daniel Ford
Though warm words of love he'd mangle,
Since she'd really melt
Over what was felt
Beneath that bulging triangle.
--- Chris Papa
With carrots that temptingly dangle
At the end of a stick;
An ancient trick
To lure victim with bauble or bangle.
--- Norm Brust
I knocked on her door, there's no antha.
"She's dead." I supposed;
Endora's were closed
And also warlocked. Was it cantha?
--- Gary Hallock
And chastity belts they closed quick.
They knew they'd stay clean
And that this would mean
No warlocks their whore's locks could pick.
--- Kitten
Who was known as a sonofabitch.
He dropped handfuls of ants
In a girl's underpants,
And offered to help stop the itch.
--- Norm Brust
Who liked pretty ladies to shock.
He stood in town square
And when one was there,
Flashed his bare flanks 'neath his frock.
--- Chris Papa
When a lady friend chose to ignore frock,
He cast a strong spell,
But nothing would swell.
So for blue pill he called to implore doc.
--- J'Carlin
Come some creatures we see as foreign.
The badgerly Toves
Drive out Borogroves,
Like fleas from a Highlander's sporran.
--- Daniel Ford
Swedish doctors have put warts at bay;
Human breast milk cream;
It's your research dream,
I'm sure, to figure out how, right away.
--- Norm Brust
Still happens, no doubt or maybes.
The office breast pump
Will offend some grump,
Who fears all fluids and rabies.
--- Daniel Ford
Just zap it with a quick freeze.
But breast milk's more fun
And when you are done,
You can turn the cream into cheese.
--- Norm Brust
But some will take a different line:
Get systemic course,
Right from the sweet source;
Good choice that I think's yours and mine.
--- Chris Papa
You get it from milk that is human.
I can see giant dairies
All run by fairies,
With frustration the lot of all true men.
--- Norm Brust
To treat viral warts, ringers rostrum.
But the real test
Will be the breasts
That have themselves come to zoster 'em.
--- Daniel Ford
Was put on some warts ranging free.
In a way double-blind,
With end-point in mind,
Was wart "To be, or not to be?"
--- Chris Papa
Since it is so long one must treat.
When quick as a clap,
A derm can just zap (dermatologist)
The thing off in seconds, complete.
--- Chris Papa
To get lactalbumin from source.
In old way quite charming,
Part of baby farming,
Which sadly is gone, with remorse.
--- Chris Papa
What pleased them most all, without fail,
Was making the grade
With a winsome maid,
And getting a "good piece of tail."
--- Chris Papa
And enjoy their grogful of WASSAIL,
But banging in bed
They surely all said,
Was nothing quite short of collossal.
--- Chris Papa
Though the former may make you docile
And keep you singing
From the halls ringing,
So young'uns may think you a fossil.
--- Daniel Ford
He said he was Cupid's apostle.
"Though you work for a God,
The state of your bod,"
She said, "show's you're just an old fossil."
--- Elois
Power abuse does intimate,
That we cannot trust
One whose power lust
Reveals such mean, common trait.
--- Daniel Ford
"Now this is a crock I must delegate.
So give it to Liddy
To make it look pretty.
I don't want the cops to investigate."
--- Richard Lubbock
Nixon tried cover with WATERGATE.
The lies became bold,
And soon they were told
To go from here, ere we fustigate. (beat with cudgel)
--- Daniel Ford
Like the gang that just couldn't shoot,
Or get things right,
Brought an legal blight
That helped to give Nixon the boot.
--- Chris Papa
It's one job that Tricky Dick blew.
We already had
A name for fall bad,
It was Nixon's big WATERLOO!
--- Chris Papa
And didn't know what he should do.
So try as he might,
On his wedding night,
Water bed was just cruel WATERLOO.
--- Chris Papa
This is file kzl
He noticed his member was blue.
He thought back last night
But try as he might,
Could not recall how he'd met his WATERLOO.
--- Norm Brust
A drunk said, "If T Crapper knew,
He'd sure be amused
That fine wine was used
To flush his much sought WATERLOO."
--- Elois
From Wellington's hand striking true,
Meant Napoleon lost
And town name was embossed
On subsequent disasters too.
--- Daniel Ford
And water for plumbing style new.
It's name apt enough,
When they, in ways tough,
Flushed Napoleon's "de grace, coup."
--- Chris Papa
Splitting east from west, or better said,
One goes with the flow
To know what to show
When you get to where the water led.
--- Daniel Ford
Of what old age may bring to you!
Perhaps that is why
Poor vision of eye
Is a blessing when WATTLE is due.
--- Maggie
Covering area glottal,
And when someone grabs
These dear little flabs,
I'll do the same but then throttle.
--- Daniel Ford
And 'neath chin appear jowl and WATTLE.
Plastic surgeons get
Affordable set,
While others just turn to the bottle.
--- Chris Papa
Is accelerating full throttle.
Since I can't afford
To have face restored,
Will someone please pass me the bottle?
--- Observer
Or blockage of E-mail, called SPAM,
As old Rhett might say,
In his unique way,
"My darling, I don't give a damn!"
--- Chris Papa
To that thought I only can fleer.
To cross water, the ram
Simply built him a dam,
And then walked over, isn't that clear?
--- Ken Bonnell
To assure that the surface is cleared
Of unsightly junk
From decaying trunk
Or bodies from some illness weird.
--- Daniel Ford
Of streams, so that gardens can grow
And allow flotsam
There to be caught some,
Preserving stream banks, well I know.
--- Daniel Ford
Whose visage the bedoins feared.
When he was enraged,
With dread oaths engaged,
He swore not on Allah's, but wife's beard.
--- Chris Papa
In caldron, as ghastly ghouls cheered.
From dark depths of hell,
Came such a strange spell,
The "e" before "i" has appeared.
--- Gary Hallock
Brought up on the bawd limerick primer.
The poems he extended
Most ladies offended,
Who thought him dirt-ball WEISENHEIMER.
--- Chris Papa
There is much with which to find fault,
But social discourse,
Social intercourse,
Now cause one to cry, Oy gevalt!
--- Daniel Ford
High above forests with elk in,
Where men of some creeds
Hunt from deep in weeds,
To get family meat and elk skin.
--- Daniel Ford
Has Throne Of The Man, a commode,
Where they sit and read
Door poundings don't heed.
"Must go? Use the one down the road!"
--- Darryl
Heard "Ruddigore", with little sense,
Thought chorus would sing,
"Let WELCOME ring".
It was a mistake quite immense.
--- Chris Papa
"With the news we bring", then it rhymed.
"Dick Dauntless" was back
From sea-fare attack,
And "Froggies" with fear were begrimed.
--- Chris Papa
At being spared massacre brief,
From sloop called "Tom Tit",
Which "threatened" frigate,
But running, spared large ship much grief.
--- Chris Papa
Hear rapturous maids, not a bell, come,
To greet bragging tar,
Back from main afar,
With tall tales and eager to tell some.
--- Chris Papa
Was that all menschen should feel
Just how the World ran,
From fierce navel scan
Though omphaloskeptic big deal.
--- Chris Papa
It sees more than prestige in great wealth.
The old golden rule,
A near perfect tool
Helps you spread wealth, do good, and please self.
--- Elois
It's an old but quite true battle cry.
Wrought by WELTANSCHAUUNG
From which chaos is sprung,
Claiming war brings us pie in the sky.
--- Elois
In summer's heat that is melter.
And if they've much hair,
They would not much care
If shorn and given to felter.
--- Daniel Ford
Had no use for angst of WELTSCHMERZ.
The Golden Horde
Through the Great Wall poured,
And ate mu shu until their belts hurt.
--- Phil Kinay
Of what you get in my presence.
The persona of me
It is plain to see;
It's "Joie De Vivre" effervescence!
--- Barb
As cherished goals fail to come through.
So when it seems worse,
They'd rather not curse,
But feel that some German will do.
--- Chris Papa
Who WELTSMERZ confess now and then,
Will sigh and tears blink
Right into their drink,
Which barkeeps fill up once again.
--- Chris Papa
Heard about a ewe in the "family way".
"It's really a shock,
To her old bio clock;
No blaming the wether, they say!
--- Maggie
A WETHER, or really a ram:
This practical sheep
Will stay fast asleep
Throughout any scrotal exam.
--- Nick
Groaned, "Sure feel under the weather.
My chance for 'good life'
Met up with the knife.
Now, whether I'd rather, I'm WETHER."
--- Karen
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