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Whether weather withers WETHERS? Oh whither the WETHER tonight? Whether ewes will, as WETHER ewes won't, Ewes find "guy" WETHERS not hot, There once was a ram on a tether That'll teach the dumb ram not to squat, To treat sex like a loving crop, I worried the wild wave would WHELM To such a safe haven fated, While WHILOM is old way to say, The former writer oft called WHILOM, With regard to charges current or WHILOM, The capricious acts are WHIMSICAL, She thought him a WHIMSICAL wimp, Drunk gent coming home from a binge, Like the squeak of an un-oiled hinge, In the aftermath of his wild binge, It's enough to make Christian Right cringe, The crying and wailing of WHINGE I've a friend who's a cigar-smoking nut. Our WHIRLIGIG world daily turns A WHITE ELEPHANT is emphatic One could make the argument Against the usual way, WIDDERSHINS, In roundabouts, DEASIL's the flow. Our land is in liquidity, When I drink tea, one cup is enough. Pronouncing words the Brooklyn way Unexpected power from WILD CARD That Gilbert, of G&S, bard, Far ranging stockselling WILDCATTER The risky ventures of WILDCATTER WILLIWAWs churn up the surf, A winebibber I'm definitly not Pretending cleverness, WISEACRE, There once was a Los Angeles Laker This hot shot was met with a groan, A WISENHEIMER married me. Garrison Kellor is a radio ace There once was a WOEBEGONE waif, A frown on a girl or a boy, A careless and quick Chinaman, WOOLGATHERING was Willy's wrecker, WOOLGATHERING's what I excel at, WOOLGATHERING is a worthless pursuit. A man who was known as a WOWSER He pretended to be a WOWSER, The antipodean name WOWSER Old Bruce was not known as a WOWSER -- Wanda was one wicked WRAITH. The ghostly shadow that's called a WRAITH There once was a draper named Roth, (where the drapes of Roth are stored)
In extreme anger the bride felt WROTH, Anna Nicole is quite WROTH 'Twas not WROTH guys felt, they'd be glad Directly as seen, WYSIWYG, It really is very wise to sample The bulge in his speedo was big. WYSIWYG, acronym with a punch; It seems certain fate of Mankind The marathon's high equals XANADU, Idyllic luxury, XANADU, To rhyme a word with XANADU We wanted a trip to XANADU, Some fellow, who thought wars romantic, A XANTHIC young man with a horn
Query's not from ewes on tethers,
For they know the sort
Who frolic and sport
Won't become diploma leathers.
--- Daniel Ford
Will he sport with the ewes 'til first light?
No, the wether won't tup
For he cannot lift up
What the ram finds exceedingly light.
--- Eva Amata
The sheepish responses really don't
Matter to rams,
For they stand on gams,
Driving ewes home, as is their wont.
--- Daniel Ford
Because of the treatment they got.
The buzz with the "gals"
Is not "Who're these pals?"
It's whether they can or cannot.
--- Chris Papa
Who was trapped in that midwinter weather.
He sat on the ground
Where quite swiftly he found
That he'd changed from a ram to a WETHER!
--- Eva Amata
Or set down in a frigid spot.
With return of warm sun,
With ewes he'll ne'er run;
For them it's just wether or not.
--- Chris Papa
(If you're thinking of whips, please stop!),
Then by wit and WHEEDLE,
The implant of seed'll
Be something to which one might hop.
--- Chris Papa
And tightened my grip on the helm.
And prayed to the gods
To increase the odds
Of returning to Main Street and Elm.
--- Chris Papa
I desperately clung there and waited,
Till storm's fury spent,
Then bound for home went,
Thoroughly soaked but elated.
--- Chris Papa
Something "former" in a funny way,
Other things aside,
When it comes to a bride,
The maiden named is counted as "nee".
--- Chris Papa
Used the writer's wiles to beguile 'em.
He'd never telgraph
How he'd make them laugh;
Surprised readers sounded like asylum.
--- Daniel Ford
My phone company's reaction is "bill 'em!"
They seem to rejoice
In a four page invoice.
"We paid for envelopes; lets fill 'em."
--- Norm Brust
Considered by some as mystical,
Where a dervish dance
May cause some lost pants,
Amid frantic, beating musical.
--- Daniel Ford
Espying his flaccid tool, limp.
"Though sex goddess I,
I won't even try
To get a small rise from that shrimp."
--- Chris Papa
Was set for wife's tirade or WHINGE.
What he got, alack,
Cayenned scrotal sac,
And "family jewels" felt the singe.
--- Chris Papa
The deen of the toddler's WHINGE
Cuts through conversation,
Kills all conjugation,
And treatens one's mind to unhinge.
--- Eva Amata
Willy would wail and he'd WHINGE.
That Satan had dealt him
Effects that might melt him,
In manner of a sqeaky hinge.
--- Chris Papa
This whole gay marriage ruckus and WHINGE.
But folks in the middle
Don't give a diddle
'Bout affairs of the lesbian fringe.
--- Phil Kinay
May cause one to come off the hinge,
But enough wining
Completely dining,
Will give your world a rosy tinge.
--- Daniel Ford
He smokes a cigar to the butt.
If his moustache he should singe,
He's got no right to whinge.
It's a habit he really should cut.
--- Norm Brust
And millions a fortunate earns.
But most merely toil
For grubs in the soil,
While Lady Luck their orbit spurns.
--- Chris Papa
Item, from land, or aquatic,
That will usually grace,
A cobwebby space
Deep within bowels of the attic.
--- Chris Papa
That children are WHITE ELEPHANTS.
From daycare to college,
The cost of their knowledge
Will drive us all to impoverishment.
--- Sheryl
So often these days is how one wins.
Back against the flow
Finds holes, don't you know.
Through which a runner creates big grins.
--- Daniel Ford
In rotaries, WIDDERSHINS GO,
Unless each is used,
One may get confused.
Go wrong, and get injured. Oh woe!
--- Elois
Despite all the pols cupidity.
Something we'll not lose
With our WIDOWS CRUSE,
Is the surfeit of all their stupidity.
--- Chris Papa
Milk? I can't stand the stuff.
But when imbibing booze,
I want a WIDOWS CRUSE,
So I can stick my face in the trough.
--- Norm Brust
Is a WILD CARD, I often play
In composing limericks.
You need some new tricks
And phony rhymes can save the day.
--- Norm Brust
May leave your poker fortune-pile charred.
Revert to limericks
And you'll take slimmer tricks,
But have success as power-styled bard.
--- Daniel Ford
Wrote plots about wide as a yard;
Hard to figure out.
They leave you in doubt,
Till end when he deals the WILD CARD.
--- Chris Papa
Will promise of quick wealth wild scatter.
But results do show
Investor's funds go,
With WILDCATTER's account miles fatter.
--- Chris Papa
Have much in common with Mad Hatter,
Whose nonsense was routed
Through tophat and spouted
Over all, in the tea party spatter.
--- Daniel Ford
Along marine shorelines turf.
We Alaskans turn blue
And so can you
Resemblea a comic strip Smurf!
--- Barb
This is file kyl
Or any other kind of a sot,
But now and then,
I sip Forest Glen,
A white "zin" that smacks off "Bon mot!"
--- Barb
Oft claims to be the prize taker.
But cannot come through
With ribbon of blue,
When tough question's asked as tie-breaker.
--- Daniel Ford
Who was an outrageous WISEACRE.
He'd not try to mask it,
And went for the basket.
He was the league's hottest shot maker.
--- Norm Brust
When he spread his sperm in a small town.
But a jail term escaped,
For the "ho" that he "raped"
Had "round heels" completely worn down.
--- Chris Papa
Within months he'd planted a seed.
Near my tummy he'd lurk,
And point to his work,
To show the world, he'd done the deed.
--- Sheryl
Who's brought fame to an obscure place --
Lake WOEBEGONE in Minnesota,
Where at least half the biota
Comprises corn and the Norwegian race.
--- Norm Brust
Who thought raw pork chops were safe.
On them she would glut,
Till worms in her gut
Convinced her to eschew things treyf. (non-kosher)
--- Chris Papa
Could happiness easily destroy.
But Keillor's okay
Seeing people that way,
A WOEBEGONE look is a joy.
--- Bob Dvorak
Who used a WOK in his game plan,
Once added gunpowder
To his bird's nest chowder,
And now he's a flash in the pan.
--- Chris Papa
Accused by strict teacher checker,
Of wandering mind
And act most unkind,
Exposed for diddling his pecker.
--- Chris Papa
But keep the news under your hat!
Please don't expose
My creative throes,
Lest you become odious fink rat!
--- Barb
It yields no cloth from which to make a suit.
But it passses the time
And inspired this rhyme,
By a shiftless, lazy old coot.
--- Norm Brust
Grabbed a girl and tried to arouse her.
A crowd soon collected;
When sommeone objected,
He explained "I plan to espouse her."
--- Norm Brust
But it was only a ruse to arouse her.
He said, the Lord would keep her,
And indeed, it was cheaper
Than if he spent to feed and house her.
--- Norm Brust
Describes killjoy, bland life espouser.
But here in the north,
For wows, we go forth,
And order tickets on our browser.
--- Daniel Ford
A swiver was he, and carouser.
He did not try to throttle
The Imp in the bottle,
And he heeded the snake in the trouser.
--- Eva Amata
Or so all the gentleman saith,
Who fine dinner fed,
Then took her to bed,
Where she was undressed and then laith.
--- Chris Papa
Might just be part of observer's faith,
While grieving the dead
Who have lost a head,
To Grim Reaper's hand on the snathe. (handle of scythe)
--- Daniel Ford
Who became exceedingly WROTH,
When he found a rat in
A bolt of red satin,
So outraged was this man of the cloth.
--- Norm Brust
Due to companions apparent sloth.
Excuse invention
Revealed intention:
He just never would pledge her his troth.
--- Daniel Ford
As judge has served up evil broth,
Which deprives her bits
She earned with her tits,
Over which the old gaffer would froth.
--- Chris Papa
To have time with Nicole, as mate had.
She teased with her breast
To make him attest,
She'd be rich when he croaked. That ain't bad.
--- Elois
For those of you who give a fig,
Is evolution
Of revolution:
The post tea party whizzy whig.
--- Daniel Ford
The wares in many ways ample.
Before knot is tied,
To make sure the bride
Will great expaectations not trample.
--- Chris Papa
On his chest was tattooed WYSIWYG.
But the bulge was a sock;
Boy, what a crock!
His dork was no bigger than a fig.
--- Norm Brust
A good one, and I have a hunch,
We'd also do well
On TINSTAAFL to dwell:
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
--- Fran
To hope it may XANADU find.
They realize late
That paradise great
Is always a place in one's mind.
--- Chris Papa
For those with the gumption to see it through.
But when the first dash
Depletes reserve stash,
Then leaving the race makes you kinda blue.
--- Elois
May bring to mind thought of Katmandu.
But only the latter
Can wildly shatter
The Shangri-la scene so through and through.
--- Daniel Ford
Is something that I canna' do.
I know it's absurd,
But I wish that this word
I never had yet run into.
--- Gary Hallock
But were told by the agent, "The place ain't true."
Then he insisted,
"If it existed,
It would be too expensive for you."
--- Elois
Enlisted with fierce fervor frantic.
But soon shot and shell
Revealed the true hell
And wide sagital streak XANTHIC.
--- Chris Papa
Got lost in a great field of corn.
This camouflaged fellow
Was mute, could not bellow.
All night he was lost and forlorn.
--- Gary Hallock
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